Unless someone really does write that Tolkien barista AU, I guess. (Suggested name for a new AO3 collection: Tolkien AUs Are Fucking Hardcore.) Not quite a barista AU, but have you see the Broship of the Ring (http://gingerhaze.tumblr.com/tagged/The_Broship)? The hobbits are hipsters, Boromir is a frat dude, Arwen grinds her own coffee. Eowyn is in a motorcycle gang. The Nazgul ride around on fixies! It's really cute.