thefourthvine: Two people fucking, rearview: sex is the universal fandom. (Default)
Dear meat-cooking faction of my friends list,

I would like to make some chicken. I want it to be a mix of white and dark meat, something that I can easily convert into small pieces, and fairly tender (not dry, not very chewy). It does not need much of a sauce, because most of it will go into the freezer for Earthling Chicken Salad. (Chicken pieces + diced fresh tomatoes + olive oil + choice of flavoring.) Ideally, it should keep all the fat it came with.

What do I need to buy? (Keep in mind that I am buying this for Tiny Alice Waters, and thus should probably go for higher-quality chicken, if there is a variation in quality amongst chickens; also, for reasons of personal moral qualms, I am willing to pay more for more humanely-treated chicken, if that exists.) Where should I buy it? What do I need to do? How can I make chicken happen?

Please keep in mind that although I am a good home cook, I have never made meat. I was a vegetarian long before I learned to cook, so meat has always been a total blind spot in my kitchen vision, if that makes sense. If there is a ritual anointing that anyone would know to do? I don't know it. If there's some safe-handling thing that is so insanely obvious that no one ever mentions it? I won't do it unless you tell me to do it. You know those exercises you had to do in school where you had to pretend the teacher was an alien (generally not much of a feat of imagination, there) and explain to her how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Please pretend I am an alien, because I am. I have never visited Planet Meat before. I need a very thorough travel guide.

I have a crockpot, and if a crockpot can produce this kind of food, I would prefer to use it, since mine has three crocks and one can just become the Meat Crock. But if there is an easy, non-crockpot method for producing chicken, I would also enjoy hearing about it. (Please nothing that requires setting fires. I would prefer to emerge from this with all my parts basically intact.)

I would really appreciate your help. (And Tiny Alice Waters would, too.)

<3,
TFV
thefourthvine: Two people fucking, rearview: sex is the universal fandom. (Default)
Anyone out there know San Diego? BB and I are going there with the earthling, and we've just realized we may be in big trouble in terms of feeding the earthling. (The first time we were there, I was in the first trimester of pregnancy and we spent half the time searching for food, because there did not appear to be any in San Diego - seriously, people down south, do you just not eat out at all? - and going somewhere with a woman in early pregnancy means you need a LOT of food. Best Beloved had no idea how much I was eating until that trip, and I remember the first morning she watched, horrified, as I ate my entire breakfast, and half of hers, and then two food bars. She told me later that she was genuinely afraid that I might eat her arm next, which was probably a good thing, as she was very diligent about the food search thereafter.)

Anyway. If you know San Diego, I would appreciate recs for:
  1. Kid-friendly, vegetarian-friendly places to eat. If they serve earthling-friendly food, that's a plus, but we can work his issues in most restaurants because he's distracted by everything going on around him. (Provided we do not ask him to eat hot dogs. Hot dogs are Just Wrong.)

  2. Kid-friendly places with very fast service. (Mongolian BBQs! Places where you order at a counter! Salad bars! Whatever! Sadly, the earthling will not eat at true fast food places, like McDonald's or Burger King. He judges them.)

  3. Grocery stores that are not Albertson's or Ralph's, where the parent of an earthling could purchase organic produce and all-natural snacks said earthling might actually eat.
We will be staying near Sea World, but are willing to drive to places if they serve food there.

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thefourthvine: Two people fucking, rearview: sex is the universal fandom. (Default)
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