I think there are several possible views on the Amanda and Sarek situation. One of which is that they're having a marital crisis at that moment in time which would maybe explain why he hasn't told her about the heart issues and interpersonal stress has a way of making people act weird. Other possibilities are cultural differences (though why the writers couldn't come up with something more alien that what looks like misogyny to humans to make Vulcan culture alien, well maybe it's a 60s thing? (one hopes?).
They could be jerks, but then my first exposure to them was through the movies and therefore I went into this WANTING to like them (not just expecting to). (Also, I have totally told embarassing stories about family memebers, though I am socially clueless and to be fair, just as willing to tell these things about myself, but it makes me sympathetic to the Sehlat scene, even if I can appreciate that it maybe wasn't the best thing to do.)