Thanks for a fascinating comment thread! I agree that "woobie" has to do with the transgression of masculine gender roles ... and also that many of us are less comfortable with seeing female characters as passively suffering, because we don't want to fall into sexist stereotypes about women. So, er, the labeling of woobie-ness has to do with rejection of traditional gender stereotypes either way? But then why do so many of us (myself included) enjoy and eroticize that kind of passive suffering in men? *just dithering here, but enjoying the food for thought.*