thefourthvine | [Rant]: Professional Writers vs. The People Who Love Their Work, Round Umpty-Snout

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[Rant]: Professional Writers vs. The People Who Love Their Work, Round Umpty-Snout

(I realize right now fandom is rightly and deeply upset about a whole other issue. I live in the past, okay? But I know for a fact that this particular one is comin' around again, so. Also, warning: possible triggers.)

Okay. I am really, really tired of professional writers - or maybe I should say published writers, since professional behavior is not these people's long suit, generally speaking - posting rants about how they don't like fan fiction and here are their random reasons why. (If they would just say, "It feels wrong. I don't have a reason - it just feels wrong," I still wouldn't agree, but at least I wouldn't have to question their maturity. It's when they try to justify their feeling that they start to sound like a seven-year-old explaining why his cousin shouldn't be allowed to come near his toys.)

So, I'm going to help you out, oh hater of fan fiction! No more do you have to embarrass yourself (and piss off rape survivors everywhere) with the inevitable reference to rape! (Please, someone, make a new internet law that reads: Here is what is just like being raped: being raped. Describing something that is not rape as rape indicates either a) the kind of irrationality where the flecks of foam are visible through the monitor or b) a total failure to understand what rape is. In either case, everyone should politely look away until you calm down. And buy a fucking dictionary.) No more do you have to issue legal proclamations that make it very clear that you don't understand what copyright is and, in fact, think of copyright as Captain Copyright, Defender of Whatever Rights You Feel You Should Have! (Note: Captain Copyright is totally fictional. Feel free to write stories about him defeating evil writers of fan fiction. Um, warning, though: that will be fan fiction.)

Sadly, this won't address my least favorite rant elements:

Rants in which a published author makes it clear that she believes millions of people are writing fan fiction about her characters, when in fact there are four stories total in her universe, which makes me all hot with vicarious embarrassment, because she's just exposed her own screaming It's All About Me neurosis and made it clear she has no idea what she's talking about. It's a horrible two-for-one special in the embarrassment aisle.
Rants in which a published fan fiction writer - someone who writes primarily tie-in novels in someone else's universe - announces that fan fiction is evil, because doing it for love is wrong, but doing it for money is right. This makes me make a frowny face, because that isn't what they said in Sex Ed.

But, well. One thing at a time.

Good Reasons for a Professional Fiction Writer to Fear Fan Fiction

Fan fiction folks might not like you anymore. People who are into fan fiction read a lot, and I do mean a lot, of stories at all levels of quality, from Holy Shit Pulitzer to Holy Fuck My Eyes My Eyes I See the Reaper Coming for Meeeeeee. Many of us also write. And when you do that, when you read and write a lot, you learn things. (Unless there's a baseline competence issue, and some of us do have those, but yay! Mostly not.)

So we've all gotten better at reading, and reading critically, and at interacting with the story. And, yes, that means we might not like you anymore. We might now be painfully aware of how you suck or how you fail, in ways that we wouldn't have been before our time in fandom. And that's scary - readers who are now judging your work and maybe finding it wanting. If you want to rant about that, I will have sympathy.
Fan fiction folks don't need you anymore. I mean, we still might like you, but the fact is, we can probably get better than you for free. Because, okay, yes, most fan fiction is crap, but so is most published fiction. (Anyone who wants to refute that has to read ten books selected by me first.) And the ten percent of fan fiction that is worth dying for is not just good, and in fact not just great: it's great and it's for us. It's written for our community, with our community standards in mind, by someone who shares at least some interests and probably some beliefs with us. So it's not just that we can get stories for free; it's that those stories are written to appeal directly to us. You can't write for us and you almost certainly don't want to.

That's readers - a lot of readers, depending on what you write - who may not be shelling out for your next book, or who may be waiting for a library copy or the paperback. That sucks for you, and if you rant about that, seriously, I will have sympathy. (And I will try to refrain from pointing out that if you're good to your fans, we're your paycheck. We'll buy your hardcovers forever just because twenty years ago you created one character we love. We'll buy your merchandise. We'll go to cons to see you. We'll buy more hardcovers for you to sign. And so on.)
Fan fiction folks took your power away. It used to be that the Anointed Few stood at the front of the room - sometimes a tiny classroom, sometimes a giant lecture hall with video cameras catching each golden word for those not lucky enough to hear it in person - and spoke. And everyone else was just audience: the listeners, the readers, the passively entertained. Fandom has turned your lectures into seminars. We keep speaking up. We keep having our own ideas. We don't even have the courtesy to raise our hands and ask to speak. And sometimes we lock you out of the room altogether.

That isn't what you signed up for. I understand that. You want the podium back, you want the breathless admiration back, you want the silent, receptive audience back. You want the exchange to be: I entertain, and you applaud, and that's it. I can understand why you'd want that, and if you want to complain about it, I will sympathize. (I won't promise to fix it or anything, because it's better for me this way, but I understand that loss of power can be painful, and I swear if you want to complain about it I will feel sorry for you.)
Fan fiction folks are better at the internet then you are. Oh, not all of you (or, for that matter, all of us), but, um. I don't know how to put this gently. A lot of professional writers (and editors, and others associated with the publishing industry) appear to lose their brains and their ability to write (and to understand what they've written) when they're online. It's sad, and it's pathetic, and it's hideously painful for those of us with an embarrassment squick. Meanwhile, fandom is organized, fandom knows the rules (fandom even codified many of the rules), and fandom is - well. If you're making an ass of yourself on the internet ("You're interrogating the text from the wrong perspective!" "You're RAPING ME by writing fan fiction about my characters!"), fandom is mocking you. If you're proving that you're an ass in real life ("There's no racism! It's all classism!" "But there aren't any female writers of SF. I mean, I don't know any, so..."), we're probably pointing that out to you fairly loudly. (And we are not watching our tone.)

And I do see that that sucks, that you think the internet is your playground and it turns out there are actual real people watching you and calling you on your bullshit. I think you could probably solve this problem (either have less bullshit or limit your audience, your choice), but I will still understand if you just want to complain about it.

But if you're going to tell me, yet again, that fan fiction is illegal! Immoral! Dirty! Wrong! EVIL! ASSAULT! RAAAAAAAAAAPE!, well, I cannot promise to have sympathy. I can't promise to care. I can't even promise to read your rant, or indeed anything you write.

I'll just read some fan fiction instead.

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*more applause*

very well said - for me this line especially: Fandom has turned your lectures into seminars.

BRAVO!!!!

And to the twits in question? See my icon.

Edited 2010-05-10 15:08 (UTC)

Me too. And I don't do Challenges, but Captain Copyright Versus The Fanfictioneers...oh yeah, baby.

...man, I can just see him, standing atop a tall building with his cape fluttering in the wind and his stomach sucked in, dreaming fondly of his sweetheart, Inviolate Text, while somewhere out in the city, The Slash is busy luring hot persons of various genders into compromising positions with their best friends/archenemies/next-door neighbours. Captain Copyright knows that The Slash wants to sidle up to his darling Vi and introduce her to some other hot chicks, but Captain Copyright will keep her safe from getting all Katie Perry in her spare time.

And elsewhere, unbeknownst to the Captain, wide-eyed, cardigan-wearing, prim little girl-next-door Gen hides a secret - when she takes of her glasses and lets down her hair she's actually the spitting image of sweet Vi! She may, in fact, be Inviolate's long-lost (evil?) twin; and what's more, despite her staid appeareance she's actually action-packed, dynamic, kick-ass and has an awesome stock of one-liners.

And what of Kink, who struts through the dark alleys of Captain Copyright's city wearing nothing but thigh-high leather stilettos and a glistening layer of honey, leading a large dog on a leash? Or the chameleon-like Ayoo, never the same shape twice, equally likely to appear dressed as a pirate or a lawyer? How will poor Captain Copyright ever see through his/her/its myriad disguises? How can poor Inviolate remain safe?

Tune in next week, kids, for the further adventures of CAPTAIN....COPYRIGHT!

::applauds::

THIS.

omg. ridiculous.

Loved this...so, so much.

Thanks!

My basic response here is, oh, you silly man. Which is a somewhat disappointing thing to be thinking about a writer whose work I've enjoyed.

I find it revealing that #3 always, always crops up in these discussions. Not only from the authors themselves, but from their fans who will defend to the (figurative) death the model in which they are the people out there in the lecture hall, receiving the truth from the author on high.

It's basically a religious argument at that point. Their worldview and ours are just fundamentally different. I understand why being the revered lecturer might appeal to the author, and I think I can even understand why having the one true, clear interpretation of the text might appeal to some in the audience. But when they so clearly believe that it has to be this way, that other models are incorrect at best and morally wrong at worst, I just don't know what to do with that.

Edited 2010-05-10 15:57 (UTC)

In fact, Diana Gabaldon (who used rape as a plot point in at least one of her novels, natch) did so. I'd quote, but she took the post down after the current outcry.

If you write more of that, well, I don't know what I'll do besides worship you forever, but I definetely will find something.

Screw Yuletide; let's start a fandom for this now. You've inspired me hard. I want to write about the adventures of the insidious Ayoo.

Thank you!

because doing it for love is wrong, but doing it for money is right. This makes me make a frowny face, because that isn't what they said in Sex Ed.

*sporfle* And so much YES to all of this.

Ok, this post is made of awesome! Thank you so much for writing it!

Also, I would like to give some proof that not all creators/writers are so crazy. John Rogers is the show runner for Leverage on TNT. He has a blog:
http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com

On this blog he often answers questions about the show and even particular episodes. Here is a question and answer about fanfic that made me cheer. It proved to me that there are creators out there who GET us.

First the Question:
@619: I personally HATE fanfic so I was wondering..... 1)How do YOU feel about fan fiction? 2)Does it irk you that so many people "borrow" your characters and use them in their own crappy stories? 3)Do you think of fanfic as a form of flattery? 4)Do the other writers and the actors feel the same way?

Here is John Roger's Answer:
1.) I think fanfic is the sign of a healthy show. Here's what it boils down to: you're telling me that in today's crowded media space, our show made someone love it so much they take time out of their own life to talk about it? Holy. Crap.

To be fair, I have a somewhat different attitude toward media/fans than most people. I think what TV/corporate media had wrong for a long time was how they understood the idea of a "water cooler show." They saw it as making the audience talk about their show, on their terms. So any fan-created media is them losing control of their material. I see this more as the natural evolution of culture in a shared digital age. I will be blunt -- other than the satisfaction of our own creative urges (and all that entails: the quest for perfection, artistry, craft, etc), our job in media is to give you stuff to talk about in your conversations, to integrate into your social circle in whatever way you see fit. I doubt that's TNT's official stance, btw, but they are much cooler about this stuff than most companies.

2.) As far as "borrowing" our characters -- to paraphrase Alan Moore, they didn't go anywhere. There they are, sitting right up on the shelf. Waiting for us to let them loose again. Besides, how many people read a fanfic story? A couple hundred, tops? We have, on average 3.5 million viewers, well into the 4 million range when you get the DVR numbers in. I just don't see someone taking control of our Ideaspace through sheer force of Slashfic.

Sure, a lot of fanfic is crap. Of course it's crap. It's written by people who are not professional writers. If I paint, what I paint is crap. Does that mean I should give up painting and displaying stuff in my neighborhood art show?

3.) Is fanfic flattery? Again, depends on how you define flattery. If someone's writing fanfic with intention of currying favor for some ... er, frankly unguessable benefit, then they're really engaged in an exercise in futility. If you mean flattery as in: it's flattering to think someone is so entertained by our work that it inspires them to talk about it and create around it, then aces.

4.) Most writers and actors don't feel this way. Some, including writers I both like personally and greatly admire, hate the idea of fanfic.

Look, end of day, you should always be trying to create your own material. But fanfic, etc, is a different process than original creation -- which I think is the source of a lot of the controversy.

People who do original creations assume the fan is taking some sort of unearned ownership, somehow implying their act is the same/as difficult as the original act of creation. Which, of course, tees them off (doesn't tee me off, but I'm a very relaxed and often drunk guy).

And some fanfic humans are under the impression that creating fanfic is the same creative process as creating original material -- and are sometimes frustrated that they're not accorded the same respect as the original creators. That's also wrong. Fanfic to me is spiritually much closer to the fan-created music videos.

The basic rule I follow here is one I learned in stand-up comedy: Always punch UP. I am a relatively successful typing human whose words are physically produced using millions of dollars and is distributed nationally by a massive billion dollar corporation to millions of people. Exactly how is a free web page with a 1000 word story about Eliot and Hardison fighting a trans-dimensional incursion of Elves hurting my brand, exactly?

Tell you what -- if some fanfic writer is so good they manage to amass a million-person audience with their web-distributed free stories using my characters, I am going to consider that evolution in action and hire that bastard. Or, at the very least, urge them to go create their own show. But odds are it ain't gonna happen. And that's okay. We write for different reasons.

To see the post itself (this question is about half way through the post) here is the link: http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2009/08/leverage-205-three-days-of-hunter-job.html

Thank you!

This made me laugh *so* hard this morning. Thank you!

I had a mini rant of my own started but then I read this and it says everything I was going to plus about ten brilliant things that I hadn't even thought of and it says what I was going to say so much better than I was saying it and, well, gosh--you are wonderful.

Thank you for writing this.

Just wanted to add my Word! to everyone else's.... (and over a hundred comments in, but no Captain Copyright icons yet?)

Two things:

1) I can't believe GRRM actually made a point of saying ERB was rolling in dough because he had lawyers who defended his copyrights, wheras HPL died penniless because he didn't, and allowing derivative works actually contributed to his death because it was hastened by poor diet due to poverty. Um, wow, that's a bit of a stretch, don't you think?

2) I wouldn't be as disgusted if these published writers hadn't dabbled in fanfic/admitted to appropriating characters, or supported others who did (as DG did when she hawked the sequel to Last of the Mohicans). And the argument that it's okay when the original writer is dead is pathetic -- sorry, it's still derivative, so they haven't a leg to stand on. Their hypocrisy is just appalling.

YESYESYES. This was so exactly on the nail - GREAT JOB.

Recced in my own journal. ♥

Also, I was perusing some of your other entries, and found myself laughing and nodding over and over. I had to add you. Friends? :)

*puts her head down on the desk and just cries*

I also love how one instance of MZB dealing with a crazyfan suddenly means omg every single author laying eyes on fanfic will be accused of idea-theft and dragged into court! The Publishers said so!

"...The implication is that the people who aren't published are shitty writers..."

As a bookseller, I can certainly testify that "being published" does NOT equal "not shitty"! I get promotional material all the time for utter CRAP which I wouldn't read if it were free on a webpage somewhere, yet some poor deluded schlub has bought into the sales-pitch for a self-publishing scam*, and invested big $$ in getting overpriced, crappy-looking copies printed.

HINT: if money is going FROM the Author TO the "Publisher" (rather than the other way) to get the book in print, or to "market" it to people like me once it's published, it's probably crap, and the author should've web-published. At least online s/he won't be wasting thousands of bucks, killing trees, and likely cluttering up their attic or garage with cartons of unsold books...

*see http://www.sfwa.org/for-authors/writer-beware/ for details on all the rip-off artists, scam "publishers", etc. who're into this racket...

one instance of MZB dealing with a crazyfan

A story which, it appears, is essentially inverted, at least in the version we all first heard:

http://nihilistic-kid.livejournal.com/1470621.html?thread=20753821#t20753821

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[Rant]: Professional Writers vs. The People Who Love Their Work, Round Umpty-Snout

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[Rant]: Professional Writers vs. The People Who Love Their Work, Round Umpty-Snout

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Fanfic + Fandom = FTW

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Thank you

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