Hahaha, this! My flatmate's keys? In the sink. My flatmate's pen she was holding? Is this it? Flatmate's tea? By the printer. Flatmate's important-document-of-some-type? In the basement. Flatmate's camera? In the car between the seats.

My own cellphone? Erm, haven't seen it in four days and the battery's probably dead now. My dayplanner? Last seen by tracking specialists somewhere south of Peru, eloping with my 2010 calendar.