[Garden] What Next?

[thefourthvine]

The status of the garden in three conversations:

1.

Me: Hi, guys.
Tomatoes: HI!
Me: Look, um. It's, you know, the middle of September.
Tomatoes: Fascinating!
Me: So. Well. What that means is, fall is coming.
Tomatoes: Yay!
Me: Yay?
Tomatoes: Spring was great. Summer was EVEN BETTER. Obviously, fall will be the best yet.
Me: Um. Gosh, this is awkward. See - you're supposed to die in the fall.
Tomatoes: No way! Get out!
Me: Yeah. I'm sorry, but it's true. So, I was thinking - maybe you should dedicate a little more energy to finishing off the tomatoes you've already got going, and maybe a little less energy to making new branches and flowers?
Tomatoes: No.
Me: No?
Tomatoes: No. Good chat, though.

2.

Me: It's the middle of October now.
Tomatoes: Isn't it wonderful?
Me: I notice you're still doing the branch and flower thing.
Tomatoes: We're not just making tomatoes, we're making tomato infrastructure! We're planning for the long haul! We're going to synergistically leverage our incentives as soon as we figure out how!
Me: You know, I was going to plant a winter salad garden where you are. But I can't, because you won't stop growing. Even though you're clearly supposed to.
Tomatoes: According to who?
Me: A lot of books. I'd be willing to read the relevant bits out loud.
Tomatoes: Hah. Books.
Me: Tomato plants cannot live forever.
Tomatoes: We plan to try.
Me: So that's a no on the graceful decline thing?
Tomatoes: Sure is!

3.

Me: GUYS. IT'S NOVEMBER.
Tomatoes: I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky!


So, yes. It's November, and my tomato plants are, in total defiance of everything my gardening books say, producing not only tomatoes but also flowers and new shoots and everything. Still, I'm prepared to call this the end of the season, and trust that sooner or later the tomatoes will also figure that out.

The question becomes: what next? I actually started gardening because of an urban homesteading book I read. I figured that if I can do it, we don't need to worry about the end of oil or the zombie attacks or the apocalypse or whatever, because anyone can do it. I'm the Most Hapless Homesteader. But obviously my homesteading journey has only just begun.

So I made a list of potential homesteading tasks I could learn to do next (or relearn to do, in the case of the one I've already done), and I'm going to ask you guys to vote on them. You should get some say, since I will almost certainly post about the inevitable disaster here. (Also, if it goes anything like gardening, the results could actually trigger the apocalypse, and in that case, I would like some company in the blame department.)

Poll #5001 Homesteading

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 415

View Respondents

Which scary homesteading task should I probably fail to learn next?

View Answers

Baking bread
292 (70.4%)

Composting
167 (40.2%)

Keeping livestock
33 (8.0%)

Making cheese
85 (20.5%)

Making preserves/preserving food
169 (40.7%)

Making soap or detergent or whatever
37 (8.9%)

Making wine or beer
62 (14.9%)

Making yogurt, sour cream, or butter
96 (23.1%)

Sewing, patching, darning
117 (28.2%)

Woodworking
38 (9.2%)

Please stop now, while you still have your limbs and we still have a planet
38 (9.2%)

Comments

[misspamela]

Baking bread is WAY easier than I ever thought it would be, but it's still not quite easy enough that I make all of our bread. I go in and out of phases of it.

[trouble]

Baking bread is fun because you get to punch things.

[lilmoka]

What about knitting? With your attitude to make everything come to life there would probably be a yarn invasion. That would be so cool! XD

Baking bread is a wonderful idea! I'm willing to be your lab rat, if you need one ;)

[macey]

(also I am amused by how (it seems) everyone on this poll voted either 'yay bread!' or 'omg NO MORE')

[thefourthvine]

I used to bake all our bread back when we were in college and could not afford $4 loaves of bread. But I haven't done it in a loooooong time. Or at this altitude.

[musesfool]

Baking bread is awesome! And it makes everything smell lovely.

[thingswithwings]

making preserves is dead easy! it's like, make something you would eat anyway, then put it in a can. the canning process seems daunting but really is quite simple. ditto baking bread: it's fun and delicious and I bet the Earthling would be ALL OVER fresh homemade bread. I'd maybe hold out on the livestock and the butter churn until you've leveled up a couple of times, though.

[feanna]

Have you ever looked at advice for making your own soap? Shit is dangerous! Advice includes: Do it outside! Be really careful! DON'T SPLASH! And so on... You're working with concentrated lye there.
This is not to say that you couldn't do it, but it does sound like something that should be considered carefully and kept far far away from children.

[thefourthvine]

Ooo. Good point.

[taselby]

CHICKENS!!

[thefourthvine]

Ooo. I forgot about knitting and crocheting. Both of these were things I used to do long ago, when I had more time (and, in fact, when we moved, I got rid of a lot of ancient half-finished projects). Hmmmm. *considers*

[snacky]

I am so jealous of your fresh tomatoes, I might cry.

[thefourthvine]

There are also some people who voted solely for SCARY things, like making beer or wine. I assume these are people who plan to laugh heartily at my panicky posts.

[macey]

Nice. and yeah, those are scary.

Is hedgerowing big in the US? (or even possible?)

[thefourthvine]

It's the one thing on the list I've done before! A long time ago! At a different altitude! So, you know, I would have to learn again, at least with yeast breads, but I am PREPARED TO TRY. (And your posts of delicious baked goods are not helping me resist this concept, to say the least.)

[thefourthvine]

I have no idea what hedgerowing even IS. Is it - making hedgerows? Because I can't. We have big concrete block fences instead.

[thefourthvine]

*eyes you* So am I to understand that you are volunteering to walk me through the preserving process? Because in my experience, things that people swear are easy are PRECISELY the things that end in disaster. Three of the scariest words in the English language are "Can't go wrong!" I can ALWAYS go wrong.

The earthling is already all about the homemade quick breads (muffins! popovers!). I am thinking he'd probably like yeast bread, too. Of course, knowing him, the end of it might be a refusal to eat any OTHER bread, but, well. We will cross that bridge when we come to it.

[melusina]

Urban chickens! (Because I wants them so, but I'm pretty sure our convenants forbid them, and this way I can live vicariously through you.)

I'm very interested in urban homesteading - what book inspired you?

At our house we bake bread and brew beer (yeast: in the kitchen, it's your friend!) and I knit like a crazy person. I'd really like to start gardening and canning. . .

[amberfox]

And it takes a long time before you can use it, or at least it did when my sister made some. I recommend cheese if you want to play the waiting game. Not toxic, so you don't have to buy separate pots, and with the price of milk down, now is a really good time to do some experimenting.

[bedlamsbard]

Baking bread is really easy! I do it the Artisan Bread in Five Minutes A Day way, although it's really more like four hours a day, although most of that is waiting -- I live in an on-campus apartment, so the low pressure of doing it the easier way is fine for me.

My mother makes yogurt, but I haven't gotten around to doing it at school yet, even though we do it the really really easy way. (Mix whole milk with yogurt/starter. Cover with tea towel and let sit for twenty-four hours. Put lid on and stick in fridge. Eat at will.)

[msilverstar]

Your gardening books are obviously not about Southern California, because the weather there is such that tomatoes often produce into November and maybe December. After that they tend to turn black and wither, but sometimes still bear a last few tomatoes. I recommend pinching back the new growth, especially flowers, so the late energy goes into the fruit. Also keep watering them if you want more fruit.

[yasaman]

Baking bread is so intensely satisfying. It doesn't even have to be that hard, especially if you use something like that no-knead bread recipe. It seems like actual magic when you get water, yeast, salt, and flour to turn into something you usually buy from the store.

[misspamela]

$4 LOAVES OF BREAD? Were they made of GOLD?

[semielliptical]

Composting! I've only been composting about year and I wish I had done it sooner, it's easy and keeps so much waste out of the landfill. Though if your city has a good municipal composting program you could do that instead and save a little space in your yard.

[macey]

XDDD I will take that as a no!

It is picking fruit / nuts from public land, or at least non-cultivated plants. Blackberries, raspberries, bilberries, hazelnuts, cob nuts, rose hips - if it grows in public woodland (or moorland) you can pick anything, and if it grows in a farmer's hedge which is accessible by public right of way, you can pick it too. My dad makes a lot of jams from the berries, and all sorts of rose hip stuff - syrup, jelly, & so on. You can also pick elderflowers and make cordial, or elderberries and make elderberry wine. 's kind of awesome.