I am a bit offended by the idea that there are sports without hugging. What are these sports, and can we ban them?

I think the kinder, gentler thing to do would be to introduce hugging! ALL ATHLETES MUST HUG. NEW RULE. We will be scoring on cuddliness, adorableness, and sweetness. GET READY. GET SET. HUG!

The important question is, where is the celebratory porn?

I don't knoooooooow. *quiet weeping*