When it comes to rants, I always have needs, darling. I mentioned the other day in class that English has six tenses, and you'd think I was speaking Xhosa.

You should have heard me last week - one of the other adjuncts was telling his students that they could use EBSCO and JStor, but nothing they found on Google Scholar would be usable. I went a little loopy.

And that's before getting me started on topics such as splitting the infinitive or clause-final prepositions, or slavish adherence to the subjunctive or to accusative relative pronouns.