His first name is DANIEL? Arg. I cannot keep up with the cursed Jossverse, I really cannot. Daniel "Oz" Osbourne, then?

And, yes, thanks to you am I now the most pathetic TV fangirl who ever lived. This is not an accomplishment of which you should be proud, either. It is pure, pure evil.

Though fun. But, yes, totally evil. I take comfort, however, in the thought that you must have nearly run the gamut of your potential evil TV conversions. Soon my precious remaining shreds of innocence will be safe. Right? Right?