I have an excellent basic lasagna recipe, as well as many interesting variations, and I will happily share them with you. I'd share the actual lasagna, too (I figure there's at least 75% chance I'll be making that tonight), but you're really too far away for that to be practical.

Or are you a member of the anti-lasagna party? Because if you are, I have to inform you that I will brook no deviation from the One True Lasagna Path. Only through the consumption of excellent lasagna can you find true happiness. Put your faith in the lasagna. It will not let you down.

Lasagna is love, and love is lasagna.