Slashy Nominations 78: Strange Fits of Passion I Have Known

[thefourthvine]

Every fandom has its big pairings. And if you read this journal, you'll know I'm no opponent of Danny/Casey or Jim/Blair or Sirius/Remus. But I also have an abiding love for stories with rare pairings, or pairings no mortal ever dared to pair before. And I think I can safely say you'll find at least one of each of those in this set.

Best FF Featuring a Powerful Anti-Drug Message; Namely, That If We Spend All Our Time Stoned We Might Fail to Notice Critical Things in Our Environment, Like That One of Our Friends Is Actually Green. Kissable Fanatic, Unhinged Minim Artists, by basingstoke. Marvel, Toad/OMC. There are very few pairings involving an original character that I'd put in a rare pairings entry, but I have never before seen Toad in any pairing anywhere ever. He could do nothing but jerk off in a story and I'd consider it a borderline rare pairing, and it's safe to say he goes well beyond that in this one. I actually put off reading this one for weeks because the thought of Toad doing, you know, that - well, it made me want to file taxes early, let's put it that way. But eventually I'd done all the accountancy and scrubbing I could do, and my curiosity got the better of me - and you know what? This is a damn fine story. It isn't squicky, the original character is an actual character, there's a plot - really, what more could anyone want? And if you said, "Someone who isn't green and sticky and whose tongue is less than three feet long would be first on that list," shame on you. Rank prejudice is what that is, and I tell you freely: you'll be the first up against the wall when Magneto takes over. But if you read this now, perhaps they'll be kind to you. So, really, I'm recommending this for your own safety as much as anything.

Best FF That Shows Us What Hides in Your Bedroom Closet After You Learn That All the Demons and Monsters Are Real and Right Outside: Paying Attention, by Lar, aka obsessedmuch. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Xander Harris/Larry (does Larry have a last name?). Xander/Larry is one of those pairings that should just happen a lot more often. I've actually seen the episode in which Larry outs himself to Xander, and there's definite slash potential in there. I mean, it happens in a locker room. And Xander and Larry have always hated each other, and they've engaged in the manly-yet-moronic art of fighting together, and, honestly, the whole situation is crying out to be slashed. And yet still this is a rare pairing. I guess it's more proof that there is no justice in bed*. Or in slash. But Lar is struggling to redress this tragic deficit. Read this in the name of Slash Equality, if nothing else. Plus, hey, it could well be the only pairing in this set that doesn't make your eyes roll back in your head from horror. That's got to be a plus.

Best FF That Is Totally Based on the Canon Author's Writing and Yet Would Cause Said Author to Burst into Flames Were He to Hear of It, and I Don't Mean the Gay Kind of Flames, Either: Peter in Love, by Tosca, aka toscas_kiss. The Chronicles of Narnia, Peter Pevensie/Aslan. Really. Yes, I'm aware that this sounds even worse than the whole "That stag was a liar" bit in The Silver Chair. Please, don't run screaming yet. I wanted to stab my eyes out and spend decades wandering in the wilderness after I saw the pairing, too. But here's the thing: this story is great, and somehow Tosca manages to evade every single potential squick here, which must have been like doing an slalom. While stoned. And blindfolded. On a frictionless surface. Still not convinced? It isn't explicit, and that should help. So, really, give it a try. (Note: if you don't know how the last book in the Narnia series starts, I'm not sure this will make much sense to you. But, hey, if you don't know how that book starts, you are blessed beyond all measure, so be grateful. And I've never actually read The Last Battle, because I'm still bearing a grudge against C.S. Lewis for writing it, so you can be sure that don't need more than the bare plot outline.)

Best FF That Shows Us That Prison Showers Can Be Dangerous in Novel and Entirely Unanticipated Ways, As Well As the Old Boring Ones: The Color of Straw, by David Hines, aka hradzka. D.C. Universe, Scarecrow/Harley Quinn. I know. As if I haven't disturbed you all enough as it is, now I'm recommending het. Again. It's like some horrible disease. But this - this is amazing het. It's got the best damn characterizations I've ever seen in DCU fic involving either of these two - admittedly, that sounds like damning with faint praise, but it's meant as an enthusiastic endorsement; it's just that I'm not so good at showing enthusiasm. And it's so, so right and probable and in canon. And it's even funny. It's also not very explicit, so if you just cannot bear the thought of male and female connectors interacting, so to speak, you can squint your eyes and think of England during that part. (Although you should probably try to avoid thinking about Peter Pevensie in England, especially if you're still feeling jittery about the whole Aslan thing.)

-Footnote-

* Anyone who said, "Well, not unless you're sleeping with a judge" is going to be punished. I mean that. Hell, if you so much as thought that, you should be making like Rev. Dimmesdale right now. Have you no shame?