Sorry, I can't get on board with everyone else who loved this summary. Although I'll agree with you about many things--the ridiculous plot, the bad dialog, the astoundingly gay gayness of the gay...I can't get over the fact that you're bashing actors who don't deserve to be bashed.

IMO, you mixed too much of your personal opinion in this to be a credible meta-piece. I started reading it to see what you had to say about the fandom, but I got disgusted by what you had to say about Vin Diesel. I'm sure that losing a reader due to something that doesn't have much to do with the movie--your opinion--wasn't what you had in mind.

This especially chewed my fur:

Don't judge him too harshly, though; if you did any two things as much as he does those, you wouldn't have time for character development or plot arcs, either.

I think you're letting your bias cloud your judgment, because there is blatant character development. Dom is in no way static or flat. Get out a textbook on the elements of fiction and look up the section on characterization. I mean, really: if you're going to do a meta treatment, why not be fair? Otherwise you're not doing the film or the fans justice.