Okay. You know I love you, right? So you will know that I am speaking from a place of total and sincere love and admiration when I say that that is the worst idea you have ever had.
Because, one, I don't HAVE any manners. None. And, two, most of my experience in this arena has been, like, trying to teach dogs where it's okay to pee and what not to bite. So my guide would read: "Be good, and you know perfectly well what I mean by good: don't bite anyone, don't potty in the house - and, yes, fandom counts as your house, don't take anyone else's chew toys or cushion, and for the love of god shut up; you can't bark at the neighbors just because they're different from us, and they have a perfect right to have fun in their own yard if they want to."
And then when fandom got wanky I would squirt everyone with water and then send them to their rooms.
It would be awful.
Although if you can find people to cover everything else, I could maybe do the Proper Forms of Squee. It'd be just like yoga combined with Tai Chi, except totally different:
The One-Breath Squee Level: Beginner. Form: Breathe in deeply, focusing on your center of power. When you are fully energized, release your strength toward your target on a single exhale, through the mystic words "Oh my god I loved it so cool I love you yes yay yay YAY!" (Note: Advanced users may add further yays as necessary.) Meditation Key: "There is no love until there is only love."
The Pimp Squee (To Be Directed at One Who Has Not Yet Seen the Light) Level: Moderate. Form: Draw energy from the strength of your love for the canon. Soak the canon into your pores; breathe the canon into your lungs; fill your center with your love for the canon. Then, when you feel ready, release your strength at your target. This strength may take the form of recorded media, porny fan fiction, artwork, photographs, and vids. Never give up, never surrender. (Note: Advanced users may wish to progress to the Major Pimp Squee (To Be Directed at Groups of Persons Who Need to Find the Light) or the Extreme Pimp Squee (To Be Directed at One Who Stubbornly Refuses to Even Consider the Light, Despite the Clear Perfection of the Light for Her Specific Needs).) Meditation Key: "Those who have not found the light are lost in the dark, like little children in an abandoned mine. Don't you hear them calling you to rescue them?"
no subject
Okay. You know I love you, right? So you will know that I am speaking from a place of total and sincere love and admiration when I say that that is the worst idea you have ever had.
Because, one, I don't HAVE any manners. None. And, two, most of my experience in this arena has been, like, trying to teach dogs where it's okay to pee and what not to bite. So my guide would read: "Be good, and you know perfectly well what I mean by good: don't bite anyone, don't potty in the house - and, yes, fandom counts as your house, don't take anyone else's chew toys or cushion, and for the love of god shut up; you can't bark at the neighbors just because they're different from us, and they have a perfect right to have fun in their own yard if they want to."
And then when fandom got wanky I would squirt everyone with water and then send them to their rooms.
It would be awful.
Although if you can find people to cover everything else, I could maybe do the Proper Forms of Squee. It'd be just like yoga combined with Tai Chi, except totally different:
The One-Breath Squee
Level: Beginner.
Form: Breathe in deeply, focusing on your center of power. When you are fully energized, release your strength toward your target on a single exhale, through the mystic words "Oh my god I loved it so cool I love you yes yay yay YAY!"
(Note: Advanced users may add further yays as necessary.)
Meditation Key: "There is no love until there is only love."
The Pimp Squee (To Be Directed at One Who Has Not Yet Seen the Light)
Level: Moderate.
Form: Draw energy from the strength of your love for the canon. Soak the canon into your pores; breathe the canon into your lungs; fill your center with your love for the canon. Then, when you feel ready, release your strength at your target. This strength may take the form of recorded media, porny fan fiction, artwork, photographs, and vids. Never give up, never surrender.
(Note: Advanced users may wish to progress to the Major Pimp Squee (To Be Directed at Groups of Persons Who Need to Find the Light) or the Extreme Pimp Squee (To Be Directed at One Who Stubbornly Refuses to Even Consider the Light, Despite the Clear Perfection of the Light for Her Specific Needs).)
Meditation Key: "Those who have not found the light are lost in the dark, like little children in an abandoned mine. Don't you hear them calling you to rescue them?"