My big fear is that ol' Wolfgang is going to try to convince us that Achilles and Patroclus were both In Love with the Same Woman (Briseis, most likely). Because we all know they weren't, you know, lovers or anything; no, all that sexual tension came from sharing a tent with the woman they both loved.

Because two guys having - ew! - intimate relations? No way. Especially not war heroes, because men who have sex with men are all totally limp-wristed pansy boys, right? Wouldn't know a sword if they took one point-first through the groin! No, Achilles and Patroclus were totally straight, and did we mention Briseis? See, there was a chick involved! No homoerotic overtones of any kind! Now stop writing slash about these two and take up knitting or something.