[Poll] 2012

[thefourthvine]

I am so tired there is a real chance I will just fall over right here instead of doing the many things I need to do before I can sleep tonight. And I have an inexplicable wrist injury. Poll time!

But first some explanatory text.

I rarely make New Year's resolutions. I am exceedingly demand resistant, so wanting to do a thing + intending to do a thing + basically ordering myself to do a thing = that thing will never be done by me. My deep, instinctive reaction to any order - even, like, "Duck!" - is, "I won't, and also fuck you," and that is absolutely true even if I am doing the ordering. (Or even if it's a lie. One year an acquaintance, who is very nice but sort of obsessed with growthfulness, and yes she does use exactly that word, asked me what my resolution was. Rather than tell the truth, which I knew would lead to a sincere, intense discussion of stagnation vs. blossoming, I told her my goal was to review every book I read for the year on GoodReads. And even though that was total bullshit, that year I stopped using GoodReads. I really am just that difficult.)

Occasionally, however, there will be a thing that fits into the tiny, tiny margin in my brain where resolutions are okay. I am not sure what qualifies a thing to go in there; it's just something I know. The last resolution I made was in 2005, and it was "Check the mail every day." (See, I would think, "Well, but I don't have time to sort the mail, so I should wait." The next day I would think, "Well, but I don't have time to sort a lot of mail, so I should wait." You can see how this goes.) I hoped that checking the mail daily would stop our mail carrier from hating us quite so intensely, and although that didn't work - I think the key there would have been having no dogs, or possibly getting no mail - I did get the mail every day for a year.

Or rather, that was the last resolution I made until this year. My current resolution is considerably more embarrassing, but I will tell you, because I am too tired to know any better. See. Okay. When you have a small child, there are certain - um - look. My resolution this year is "Remember to close the door all the way when you're going to the bathroom." Because when the earthling was able to get around, but not able to turn door handles, leaving the door cracked prevented him from spending the three minutes I was in the bathroom pressed against the door, miserable and alone and separated from Mama oh NO. But the earthling has been able to turn door handles with confidence for more than a year. And this holiday season I noticed that I had to make a great effort to remember to close the bathroom door when there were people in the house (besides BB and the earthling, I mean); it was like in the early months of the earthling's life, when I was breastfeeding so much that it took conscious, sustained effort for me to wear a shirt in the house.

I don't want to be that person. So: bathroom door closed this year, thank you.

But I feel kind of - envious, comparing this resolution to all the sincere efforts at self-improvement I see going on around me. I know that charts and goals and SMART objectives and comparables just cannot work like that for me, but it does look fun. I mean, I would totally join you except I am actually secretly a thirteen-year-old girl, and I do not mean silly or whatever people usually mean by that; I mean I am still, in some ways, the girl I was at 13: sullen and obstinate and willing to cut off her own legs if anyone, even for a moment, suggested it would be better not to. (True fact: every single time someone refers to a grown person as a thirteen-year-old girl in a work of fan fiction, I do not picture some ridiculous melodramatic love-obsessed naïf. I picture teeth and claws. It's confusing.)

So I cannot post about goals and so on. It would be futile. But all your goal posts (Hee! Oh, man, when I am tired I am so funny. To myself, I mean.) made me wonder: what would really make things better for you in the next year? If you had, like, a New Year's Wish instead of a New Year's Resolution, what would it be? (Yes, this is mostly so I can work on my When I Am Ruler of the Universe plans. What do you do when you're exhausted?) I am referring strictly to changes in you, by the way; change in other people is Beyond the Scope of the Poll.

Poll #9051 Goals and the Cumberhorse

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 369

View Respondents

Which one of these things would improve your life the most in the next year?

View Answers

More money
57 (16.4%)

Better money management
8 (2.3%)

More time
8 (2.3%)

Better time management
41 (11.8%)

More free time
6 (1.7%)

More family time
0 (0.0%)

More sleep
8 (2.3%)

Better sleep (more consistent, more restful, whatever)
17 (4.9%)

More work
13 (3.7%)

Better work (more meaningful, more engaging, more sane, whatever)
37 (10.6%)

More meaning in your life
6 (1.7%)

More people (or relationships) in your life
22 (6.3%)

More socializing
2 (0.6%)

More time alone
2 (0.6%)

Better health
46 (13.2%)

More exercise
17 (4.9%)

More fun
3 (0.9%)

More creativity/creating stuff
20 (5.7%)

More help
0 (0.0%)

More freedom
3 (0.9%)

More love
8 (2.3%)

More safety
0 (0.0%)

More security or stability
13 (3.7%)

Nothing on this list can make my life better, but something else could, and I am off to tell you about it in the comments!
9 (2.6%)

Nothing on this list can make my life better, and I can't think of anything else, either. I guess I am just really happy with the status quo.
2 (0.6%)

What's one thing you really, really want in 2012? (If answering this is compatible with your brain, I mean.)

View Answers

Unrelatedly, but to settle a point of contention between BB and me - can Benedict Cumberbatch be reasonably described as horsey or horse-faced?

View Answers

Yes. Obviously. Long face = horsey. Textbook!
58 (16.2%)

...I guess? I mean, it's not the first word that comes to mind, but okay, sure.
145 (40.5%)

No. Have you looked at a horse recently? Have you looked at Benedict Cumberbatch recently?
84 (23.5%)

I have no idea who Benedict Cumberbatch is. (Probably I live on Alpha Centauri.)
27 (7.5%)

I know who he is, but describing faces is really not a thing I can do.
44 (12.3%)

Comments

[sanj]

More exercise would probably improve my life the most, but "more love" and "more money" would also definitely not suck. :)

[thefourthvine]

I hope all three of them happen for you in 2012, such that you forever remember it as the year of love, money, and long walks!

[malnpudl]

One thing? I'm supposed to choose ONE thing?

I'm not very good at that.

Also: Your Cumberbatch question reminds me (my brain is oblique) of a favorite Far Side cartoon that used to hang on the fridge door, many residences ago. Dog is saying to human: "Well, yes, I have dog breath, but you say that like it's a bad thing." So yes, Mr. Cumberbatch is horse-faced. Horses have beautiful faces. Which are long. As does Himself. Which is not a bad thing. :-)

[thefourthvine]

SORRY. My mother is an experimental psychologist. Forced choices are in me by nature and nurture.

So yes, Mr. Cumberbatch is horse-faced. Horses have beautiful faces. Which are long. As does Himself. Which is not a bad thing.

This is my argument! I have always thought that "horse-faced" is a neutral adjective describing a person with a long face. BB believes differently (and is also, I should note, far, far better than I am at telling if a person is conventionally attractive or not; she has actually formulated useful rules for me, such as "If you think he looks like a member of the rodent family, everyone else thinks he's hot"). I described him as horsey, and she gave me that look that says, "I realize you're doing your best, but WOW." But he IS horse-faced! Right?

[paxpinnae]

I actually need less "love," or at least much better impulse control and/or ability to commit. (Communication skills have so far been above-par, though, which is a relief.) Also, a job. I may have gotten a little emotional/sailor-mouthed about that in my fill-in-the-blank, for which I apologize.

[thefourthvine]

I actually need less "love," or at least much better impulse control and/or ability to commit.

I knew there would be things that just wouldn't fit in this poll. PEOPLE ARE COMPLICATED. I have noticed this before.

I may have gotten a little emotional/sailor-mouthed about that in my fill-in-the-blank, for which I apologize.

No worries or need to apologize. Every day is Talk Like a Sailor Day around here!

[darchildre]

"Horsey" doesn't really spring to mind for me, but that's mostly because it is overwhelmed by "reptilian" or "insectile" or "creepy space alien". I find Mr Cumberbatch weirdly difficult to look at in a lot of ways.

[thefourthvine]

Hmmm. I have trouble recognizing actual FACES (hence the horsey; shapes of faces are easier!), so my major complaint about Mr. Cumberbatch is that he keeps letting people cut and dye his hair. How am I supposed to tell who he is if he keeps CHANGING like that?

But "creepy space alien" is evocative, and I will run it past BB to see if she agrees! YOU COULD WELL BE RIGHT. He certainly seems to have come from SOME mysterious place to take over all the roles in theater and film.

[kindkit]

I'd say Benedict Cumberbatch is almost horse-faced, but not quite. His chin is too pointed and his cheekbones too pronounced. When I think of someone as horse-faced, I think of their dominant features being the length of the face and the nose.

[misspamela]

Agreed. He has too much cheekbone to be horsey! And his teeth are too small.

[greyminerva]

Better time-management, which in reality would have to mean More Self-Discipline.
Because it's not that I actually lack the time (well, for some meanings of "time" I guess I do), but that I spend it all in front of the computer rather than doing housework, working out, socializing, devoting myself to Jr., sleeping, etc., etc.
More money, better health and a Significant Other in my life wouldn't be amiss either.

Mr. Cumberbatch does in fact have a longish face, which may well be described as "horselike", however, to most people this connotes the negative meaning "plain", "homey", and sometimes even "ugly", which I don't think applies to the divine Mr. Cumberbatch.
Alien might actually be a better description, yes.
He has a very peculiar and "unique" look, which can transcend into "gorgeous beauty" when he's in character, fully "alive" and brilliant. :D
Most of my favourite actors aren't very interesting in stills, but when they come alive on screen, _I_ at least think they're GORGEOUS.

Just like Martin Freeman isn't really THAT handsome - but as John Watson, he has my complete attention; I am literally smitten with him.
Even though he's far too short for me. ;)

[malnpudl]

He has a very peculiar and "unique" look, which can transcend into "gorgeous beauty" when he's in character, fully "alive" and brilliant.

YES. Exactly. *nodnodnod*

I am reminded of the Gaugin quote: "The ugly may be beautiful but the pretty, never."

Cumberbatch is not pretty. Not at all. But he is beautiful -- especially on film, when you can see the mobility of his face and the life and intelligence behind it.

[ghost_lingering]

People's answers to the second question are by turns heart-breaking and hilarious and I just want everyone's wishes to come true. <3

For the record my new year's resolution is to keep doing the things I got into the habbit of doing last year organically (they weren't 2010 resolutions). Which is to say: yoga multiple times a week, writing (most) every night, planning & cooking all my meals (except when eating out in a social setting w/ other people), and keeping track of all of my spending. I think this means I am an adult now? Say it ain't so!

[ghost_lingering]

..and by 2010 I mean 2011 (shush it's only 10 days in!)

[rosaleendhu]

I said more creating, but that's the same as better time management since I sort of run a craft-based business.

[copracat]

In my experience - in the context I've heard/read it used - 'horse-faced' is an insulting term used to denigrate women.

[kate]

Horse-faced or horsey has a connotation of unattractiveness to me (and I've never really heard it used for a guy before - it's mostly horse-faced women), however I asked soleta from the couch and she didn't have that connotation. To her, horse-faced just meant long-faced. *shrug*

[copracat]

B Cumberbatch is a plain man with good bones much beloved of the camera, so he spends a lot of screentime looking divine under the ministrations of the Sherlock BBC DOP. I thought the first series DOP was a lot more fixated on ethereal, dying Jesus Sherlock than this season's guy.

[indeliblesasha]

I just...look I just have to take a moment here to tell you that your...resolution? Are we officially calling it a resolution? To close the bathroom door is a really frankly admirable one and one that I never have hope of achieving. As I have two toddlers, one of whom is not tall enough for turning door knobs yet, and also two separation anxiety riddled dogs.

I must tell them all if I am going to the bathroom, and give them the option to come with me. If I do not I will absolutely wind up with three of the four *guaranteed* tracking me down. If I'm dumb enough to close the door, the *dog* will be the one knocking. No lie.

I mean, I still usually wind up with the three of them in the bathroom with me when I tell them where I'm going, but at that point it's considered acceptable for them to close the door for me, as long as we're all inside together.

So, actually, my reaction to your post was to laugh a lot and and say "OH MY GOD I HATE YOU!" But I meant it in the kindest, most adorable way possible. :D



If I have a resolution this year, it is to live up to the last thing my grandmother ever said to me, the week before she died.

"Now, one more thing before I let you go: you are a wonderful mother, and those boys are so lucky to have you. I'm proud of you. I love you, too. Bye bye."

But I started that one before the new year, so I don't know if it counts.

♥ ♥ ♥

[hannah]

I picked the option to tell you what could make my life better in the comments because I'm in a position so much like limbo it's hard to say which item would be the best. Would better time management get me more productive on writing and on job hunting? Would more work be better than better work, since better work could be an unpaid dream internship and more work could be a reasonable five-day-a-week day job? Should I just go the more-money-fewer-problems route? It's not something I've considered before, and it's throwing me for a loop.

The fact that I'm putting this much thought into this sort of internet poll does serve as a good warning sign I'll need to be in bed a couple of hours earlier than what I managed last night.

[vass]

Benedict Cumberbatch's face is not so much horsey as something like a gremlin, or at his least mythological a frog.

Horsey is the Duchess of York.

[sporky_rat]

I was thinking more the Prince of Wales?

It gets better as he gets older, though.

[azurelunatic]

Hmm. I would not describe his face as horsey with that haircut and color. With the redder hair that does not have the froof at the side, yes. But since his face is not quiiiite long enough that that would be my first thought, and not quite squared-off-at-the-chin enough, the Sherlock hair tips it back out of that range for me.

[shrift]

The thing about resolutions is that I personally don't do well with putting off making changes until a specific date, because then I'll never do it. I mean, there is a reason why I've trained myself to unpack my suitcase IMMEDIATELY upon returning from a trip, why I immediately fold the laundry when it's dry... because otherwise I will be living out of a suitcase in my own home and sleeping on a pile of laundry.

Getting more sleep is the one thing I haven't been able to do, and at the risk of being all "What's that? I can't hear you over the sound of my deafening awesomeness." about it, I'd like to see what I can do when I'm not dealing with a continual case of sleep deprivation.

[minim_calibre]

What is this unpacking of which you speak?

Signed, I think I still have things packed from the LA F2F, and that was a whole house ago.

[fred_mouse]

The number of the things on that list that I could manage with better time management. *wistful sigh* Or, in fact, agreement with my inner brat that I don't have to Be Different From The Masses All The Time.

[askye]

My resolution was really simple this year: do more things (for example - try new things, be more active, push myself, whatever). I figure it's a vague enough that it can be different things and also actually doable.

[stasia]

Heh. When Merrie was little, I used to joke that if I super-glued high-topped sneakers to the floor, then put her in them and tied doubleknotted bows and superglued the knots...

I'd get five minutes to myself in the bathroom before she'd figured out how to get out of the shoes and would be knocking on the door.

She didn't cling to it and worry that I was gone, she just ... wanted to talk to me. Or see what I was doing. Or just stand around and stare.

Once, when she was older (say, um, 5) I'd decided it was time I had Alone Time in the bathroom, so when she came into the room to ask me something, I told her to wait until I was done. Then I had to say that she had to do this waiting outside the bathroom. Then I had to specify that she couldn't just stand directly outside the door, but had to go into another room and leave me alone for a minute.

She sighed heavily and slumped down the hall until I was done. She was back in the door asking her question before the toilet finished flushing.

Kids.

Stasia

[aderam]

Perhaps unrelated to the post-in-general, but I find it really interesting that yours is a 13-year-old girl. Mine's always 12, or occasionally 10 for the more carefree ridiculous stuff.

It makes me wonder: is it an even-number, odd-number thing? Is it a cultural thing (I'm Canadian)? Did nothing important happen to me at the age of 13 (maybe)? Is it just that twelve doesn't have as many syllables (likely)?

[paceus]

When this expression is used in fics I've read it's always been a 14-year-old girl, and I was confused by the number 13 too. :)

[blueraccoon]

So, I did not actually answer the first question, because I DO NOT KNOW. More money has been my go-to for the last two years, but I have a JOB now, one that (gasp) pays a living wage, so I think I do not need more money I just need to figure out what to DO with it. So maybe I should have said "better money management skills". I fail at quiz.

Also, re La Batch - I think of Sarah Jessica Parker when I think of horsey-faced. Totally not Benedict, who is just...divine.

[metaphortunate]

I want my house to be TIDY. That would make me happy. To get that I would need:
1) More time, that does not need to be spent entertaining a tiny monkey or on anything else
2) For my packrat husband to bow to my iron will and let me organize the damn house as I wish. Failing that, for us to come to a series of compromises about our stuff and our space.

It will happen! It has already begun happening. It is just going to happen excruciatingly slowly, as I carve out 20 minute chunks of time here and there and spend them organizing the closet, or the cabinet under my sink, or one bookshelf, etc. It may take all year but I bet things will be better in 2013. Unfortunately I also bet I will be frustrated until then.

[athenejen]

Out of those, more money is absolutely the thing that would improve my life the most, but I think the real answer might actually be more energy/motivation. Which maybe falls under some combination of better health and better time management, but isn't quite just either.

[st_aurafina]

I need more sanity, with which, presumably I'd be able to get more sleep.

Surely Cumberbatch is feline? I could see him as an over-size mackerel tabby cat, more easily than a horse. Oh, oh! Unless it's one of those weird little Icelandic ponies. Now, that I CAN see.

[annakovsky]

A friend of mine once described Mr. Cumberbatch as having a "soft, cream-cheese face" AND I CANNOT UNSEE THAT DESCRIPTION. But I agree that horsey also fits the bill.