thefourthvine | 193: Something Random

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193: Something Random

Here are some things I felt like recommending! Seriously, that's the whole theme, here.

(Side note: If you wonder, as I sometimes do, why our entertainment products appear to be made by straight white men for straight white men, you might want to read this or, if you can, donate a little something to a woman filmmaker.)

The One That Makes Me Wonder Why No One Ever Covered Safe Mind-Melding in My Middle School and High School Sex Ed Classes. Did They Not Care About My Health and Safety? You'll Get There in the End (It Just Takes a While), by

seperis. Star Trek Reboot, Jim Kirk/Spock. (Does Spock have a first name? A last name? And why is it Spock, when all other Vulcans seem to be named things like T'Pippi and T'Eppic and T'Pain and T'Eyla?)

So. These days, I do most of my fan fiction reading on my Kindle, which means a delay of anything up to five years (not really) between finding the story and getting it read. (People who write long stories and put them all on one page with no tables: I love you forever. Many times my will has just broken faced with twelve or fourteen separate posts to consolidate.) While this story was waiting to be converted to Kindle format, I went to an OTW committee meeting in which it was described as, "Everything you'd ever want from a pon farr story." (This is why OTW is more fun than any other non-profit in the world. You get recs along with your work. Also, we tend to end most meetings talking about tentacle porn; if we ever get committee mascots, ours will be a tentacle waving proudly, possibly clutched around a big shiny coin.)

Obviously, that booted the priority waaaaaay up. I mean, I don't even have any wants from a pon farr story, or I didn't - I only actually know what pon farr is because of a) Killa and T. Jonesy's vid and b) because people talk about, like, vid farr and fic farr and so I had to get a précis from Best Beloved a while back. But it doesn't matter, because that is so totally right: this is everything I never even knew I wanted from a pon farr story. And, having read it, I want several million more. I totally understand how this whole slash thing got started, now.

(Also, I don't know if this is canon or Reboot or just fanon, but I love how Spock is, in this story, all, I am totally the least emotional person on the planet la la la logic is my only guiding force, and he's actually totally faking it. Because you cannot tell me he's not making emotional decisions here. He's just, you know, putting a logical face on it. As far as I can tell, Vulcans aren't emotionless, they're just bringing new depth to the concept of repression. No wonder fandom loves them so much.)

The One That Makes Me Think We Should Institute a Program of Mandatory Homosexuality for Los Angeles Police Officers. Apparently It Makes Them Eaiser to Deal with, and God Knows That Would Be a Very Welcome Change. Son Is on a Midnight Run Like DeNiro, by

hackthis. Southland, John Cooper/Ben Sherman.

(First, an important note. When I rule the universe, there will be a 25 year moratorium on naming fictional characters John or Jack, and anyone who tries to use either name will have his character named by me, instead, and I can tell you right now that the first one is going to be Gervase. I have had it with this. There are baby name books for a reason, television writers! How hard is it to find a name that doesn't already belong to a major character in every other time slot? Not hard at all. Just pick something that isn't John or Jack. Seriously: Evil Overlord TFV forbids fictional Johns and Jacks. Unless your main character is a girl, and then you can name her John J. Jackson III if you want to.)

Okay. I really needed to say that. But, aside from the John Issue (NO MORE JOHNS EVER I MEAN IT OR IT'S THE SALAD MINES FOR YOU), I kind of love this canon. I mean, I have no idea what it is - the lovely

qe2 told me that it's about a canonically gay cop in LA, but that's where my knowledge ends. He could be a canonically gay robot cop in a post-apocalyptic LA populated mostly by centaurs and monkeys, for all I know.

Although in that case, this would be an AU. Because one of the many things I love about this story is - okay. I live in Los Angeles. And this is Los Angeles. I can picture these places! I have driven down that street! I would kill Ben Sherman and eat his corpse to own his house! (No, not really, but I can find you a thousand people who would.) I have no idea if

hackthis lives here or if she does really awesome research (I suspect the latter, mostly because I have long suspected that she lives in a secret space habitat orbiting the earth, where she creates superplants and bends them to her will), but either way: oh my god, this is SO Los Angeles. And I love it.

And I love these characters even more. (Yes, even though one of them is named John. I am prepared to forgive even that. This time. Next time, though, it is Gervase for sure.) This is a classic slash epic, involving a main character who is broken (but getting better) and grouchy (but well-meaning) and hot totally despite himself, and I love that.

And I also love, let me add, that the younger, inexperienced partner here is totally the sexual aggressor, and does none of that virginal squeaking that we sometimes see. He's all: yes, I want to do this, now let's get some cocks in play, sir. I deeply, deeply love that. I can't tell you how much.

The One That Will, for the Next Ten Years or So, Make You Snicker Helplessly Anytime Anyone Suggests Purchasing a Shag Rug. And Then Argue That Sex Toys Should Not Come out of the House Maintenance Budget. Hi, I'm Captain Jack Harkness, by

frostfire_17. Star Wars x Torchwood, Chewbacca/Jack Harkness.

I am going to sit back for a bit and let that pairing sink in. Now, after it has sunk in but before you run away screaming, I'm going to share with you my own thought process when I saw this:

Me: I, um. Wookiee [and why does my spellchecker know Chewbacca but not Wookiee?]/human sex? Um. I really don't think...
Me: But it's Frostfire, though. She can make me like any pairing. I mean, okay, she's never challenged my limits this much, but...
Me: And if anyone was going to do it, it'd be Captain Jack Harkness.
Me: Oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to read this.

And I did. And I was very, very glad I did. I mean, it would be worth reading just for the introduction, with its slightly frantic explanation of how she came to write this (and, even though she posted it for Kink Bingo, Kink Bingo is not to blame; she just sat down one day and decided to write this of her own free will, and I really had not believed I could love her more, but that did it), but it gets even better than that. It's Jack! And Chewbacca! And Jack so totally would do Chewbacca, and I can't even blame him (although the thought of all that hair touching me makes me want to claw my own skin off, but Jack does not have my issues, or, at this point in his canon, any actual issues that I can tell). And I totally have to congratulate Jack for having the good sense to pick out the best sentient being in the room.

But most of all, I love this story because it made me realize that Jack Harkness isn't kinky. Kinky, to me, requires that you have an unusual focus on one - or several - areas of sexual interest. (Fur! Bondage! Opera glasses and bouffant hairdos! Whatever.) Jack has no special focus whatsoever - he's equally interested in all fields of sexual endeavor. His preference is, basically, any way you want it. Which means that to me Jack Harkness is the definition of vanilla. Obviously I need to work on my terms a bit.

The One That Teaches Us That If You're Going to Do a Spurious Magical Ritual, You Should Do It Outside. Preferably While Armed with Electric Cattleprods, Just in Case. Accidents Will Happen, by

holli. Supernatural, gen.

Oh, adolescence. A time of rebellion! A time of unfortunate fashion choices! A time when you accidentally bring the dead back to life in your parents' basement!

Okay, maybe that didn't happen to you. It didn't happen to me, either. But I did once spend four extremely boring hours listening to the angst of a guy who was absolutely convinced he was possessed by a ghost. I had mono, and I was in no mood, and I ended up faking an exorcism just to get him to shut up and let me sleep. (Seriously: I took my middle school Latin - yes, I did say "amo, amas, amat" at one point, so thank you for that, Mrs. Scher - and some candles and some assorted cooking herbs and spices and unpossessed him. And the lesson here is: don't get between a sick person and her bed.) If I'd been living in the world of Supernatural, probably I would have ended up desouling him or something.

I just love this story, and I love these characters - I think I used to know them, in fact - and most of all I love the perspective this provides on the Supernatural universe. Because, sure, there are badass demon hunters with magical guns and magical cocks (I may be wrong about the magical guns, but I can cite several million stories on the magical cocks thing), but there must also be lots of suburban girls with random superpowers. (Also, I bet fire insurance is a bitch to get in the SPN world. And every year good actuaries probably go mad, tearing at their hair and shrieking, "But my predictions should have been correct!")

And let me finish this with a helpful hint for any teenagers reading this: if you accidentally summon a big unconscious naked guy, for the love of god lock him up and call someone. Do not talk to him. Do not get him a blanket. Do not look directly at him unless you're absolutely sure he's out cold. That kind of situation is the definition of something you want to be someone else's problem.

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Hi, I can't remember if I shared the link to the Ebook Library? I"m not sure how helpful it would be for Kindle users but there are many mobi formatted stories there. And if nothing else a single file RTF version. If you have calibre you can create your own mobipocket fan fics. :)

there is also the Kindle_ebooks community at LJ.

I loved Seperi's story and I got the LRF version up rather quickly but sadly that format doesn't work on the kindle. :( I'm really hoping they'll find one format that works on all devices.

I also love authors that share fic in single non-table html files.

Because all the other Vulcans are named Sarek and Saavik, Surak and Tuvok?

I could be wrong about Surak. I googled, but it was a bit overwhelming.

"(Also, I don't know if this is canon or Reboot or just fanon, but I love how Spock is, in this story, all, I am totally the least emotional person on the planet la la la logic is my only guiding force, and he's actually totally faking it. Because you cannot tell me he's not making emotional decisions here. He's just, you know, putting a logical face on it. As far as I can tell, Vulcans aren't emotionless, they're just bringing new depth to the concept of repression. No wonder fandom loves them so much.)"

You really should read Spock's World, by Diane Duane, or at least get Best Beloved to mark the relevant parts for you. Her explanation is that Vulcans---not being psychopaths---do have emotions, they just strive for mastery of emotions. Only a few go through a special process to block all emotions.

See, Vulcans have a very violent and warlike history, to the point where they nearly wiped themselves out multiple times, so nowadays they try REALLY HARD not to let their feelings rule their judgment.

As for the names, T'[foo] is a feminine naming convention. Spock is descended from the great philosopher Surak, the one who pioneered Vulcan pacifism, so men in that family are named S[foo] in his memory.

Fics that are posted in many parts are a problem for me. Because when I go to put them on my kindle, I have to copy paste each section, and that involves seeing each section, and if there are words on my screen I have to read them, and then I get spoiled for really random parts of the fic. I could just not read the words, but that's really hard.

His full name is S'chn T'gai Spock. As I understand it, his family name is S'chn T'gai, while Spock is his 'first' name. His father is S'chn T'gai Sarek. I have read one fic which stated his mother selected the name Spock, and while I doubt that is canon, I rather like the idea. *g*

ooh, where does this come from? i've only ever heard "he has one, but it's unpronounceable" on the matter.

I've seen it referenced before, but for spelling I stopped by the Memory Beta wiki entry. The correct pronunciation contains glottal stops and is indeed supposed to be unpronounceable by humans.

And that is a very nice icon. :)

Oh, good god, I should finish reading things before I comment!

(This is why OTW is more fun than any other non-profit in the world. You get recs along with your work. Also, we tend to end most meetings talking about tentacle porn; if we ever get committee mascots, ours will be a tentacle waving proudly, possibly clutched around a big shiny coin.)

*gasps for air while laughing*

That makes it weirder for me. Why not S'Pok or Supok? I mean, I guess there could be differences in translating the phonetic system to our alphabet, since his might've been done by his mother, rather than by a linguist. But it certainly seems to be pronounced like you would pronounce "sp" in English.

The spoken language of Vulcan does look like it uses CC clusters (st, rr, shk - even shtr) and obviously does C'C (where ' I imagine represents a glottal stop or some kind of break in the sound?) in names and other words, but from the admittedly few Vulcan names/places I've seen, Vulcan doesn't seem to use CC clusters like 'sp' in proper names. (At least, atm: Spock's grandfather was apparently called Skon.) Also from my very thorough ;) research, i.e. searching for the string "sp" on this page, the only times "sp" specifically comes up are in English words and in Spock's name. The Vulcan language dictionary (http://www.starbase-10.de/vld/) has some sp clusters at beginnings of words or where it looks like there were compounds, but in at least one group of those it looks like they borrowed from English. The rest might similarly be borrowed w/o changing much to fit Vulcan phonology.

My theory is that it is Sam that are the most overrepresented name in TV. Yes, Jack and John are there an awful lot to, but unlike Sam there are actually a lot of people named that IRL, but Sam didn't become insanely popular amongst kids until the last ten years, not when all those fictional people were born. Daniel is also overly overused, and all this points to Stargate as the fandom with the most unimaginative namers.

In conclusion, yes, you really should rename the next Jack or John you see to Gervase, but you should also name the next Sam to Erastus.

I knew there was a reason it seemed quite complicated: it really is.

ahaha, sorry to tl;dr on you &

thefourthvine. It's just, language!

But fascinating! It's so cool that language can be analysed the way you do.

I'm so glad you liked the pon farr story! Isn't it fabulous?

I'm not an oldschool K/S fan per se, so I hadn't spent a lot of time with the genre of pon farr fics, but as I read this one it immediately became clear to me that this is what it's all about. Damn. :-)

Your description of Jack Harkness made me so amazingly happy it almost redeemed my mood. (The fact that the redemption was qualified is in NO way ascribable to you.) He is, like, the walking/breathing/screwing definition of What The Actual Fuck.

And I'm so reading that story now. Also the ST:TR K/S, because although that pairing mostly escapes me in TOS (I don't deny it, I'm just not struck by it), it practically jumped me and gave me a lap-dance in the reboot.

I can hook you up with Southland, if you like. It really is worth seeing. In addition to the Kindle, do either you or the Best Beloved have an iPoddy thing that plays video files?

\o/ I love that there is finally a fandom we're both reading in! And at the same time! Of course, that means I've usually already read the fic, but still, it makes me gleeful.

And mmmmmmChewy porn....

How does seperis deal with Uhura in this fic? And is there a suggestion that Kirk and Spock are compelled to be together through some outside force, like fate or the weight of the universe or something?

I run into the same problem sometimes when I'm merging stories. :(

Chewbacca/Jack Harkness ... before you run away screaming

Hey, Han had a wookiee wife, I found the info somewhere *Is blase*

Okay, certainly not Teppic. You've so been reading PTerry's 'Pyramids' XD

Do you suppose there's a book out there that tells the hollywood types that they have to name someone Jack or John, or no one will believe they have protagonists? I have often wondered that.

You did! And it is actually pretty helpful for Kindle users, because even if there's not a Kindle-ready format there's the one big file that makes it easy to make a Kindle document. I like it! I use it!

I also love authors that share fic in single non-table html files.

YES YES YES.

I googled, but it was a bit overwhelming.

It is overwhelming! In a totally awesome way, of course. I guess this is what happens when the fandom has been around for almost half a century: there's a lot of fanwork (and fanwank) out there. I admire them! Even as I am totally bewildered by a lot of this!

Sadly, Spock's World seems to be out of print, but I am off to search the wilds of half.com to see if there's a copy there, because that sounds awesome. Thanks for the rec!

Spock is descended from the great philosopher Surak, the one who pioneered Vulcan pacifism, so men in that family are named S[foo] in his memory.

I like this technique better than the English-language technique of just reusing the name and adding a number. How much less cool would Spock have been if he'd been named Surak CVIII?

I am actually very proud of my ability not see any words on the screen. Although if I could, I would give that ability to you or

amalthia, because I don't usually care much about spoilers. So I am sad for you, and this makes me hope all the more that the ebook file sharing schemes get even bigger and better.

it's just sad that not all authors are able to provide single file posts of their fics. :(

But yeah from single file it's not too hard to get it converted to either format. :)

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193: Something Random

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You'll Get There in the End (It Just Takes a While)

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