193: Something Random

[thefourthvine]

Here are some things I felt like recommending! Seriously, that's the whole theme, here.

(Side note: If you wonder, as I sometimes do, why our entertainment products appear to be made by straight white men for straight white men, you might want to read this or, if you can, donate a little something to a woman filmmaker.)

The One That Makes Me Wonder Why No One Ever Covered Safe Mind-Melding in My Middle School and High School Sex Ed Classes. Did They Not Care About My Health and Safety? You'll Get There in the End (It Just Takes a While), by seperis. Star Trek Reboot, Jim Kirk/Spock. (Does Spock have a first name? A last name? And why is it Spock, when all other Vulcans seem to be named things like T'Pippi and T'Eppic and T'Pain and T'Eyla?)

So. These days, I do most of my fan fiction reading on my Kindle, which means a delay of anything up to five years (not really) between finding the story and getting it read. (People who write long stories and put them all on one page with no tables: I love you forever. Many times my will has just broken faced with twelve or fourteen separate posts to consolidate.) While this story was waiting to be converted to Kindle format, I went to an OTW committee meeting in which it was described as, "Everything you'd ever want from a pon farr story." (This is why OTW is more fun than any other non-profit in the world. You get recs along with your work. Also, we tend to end most meetings talking about tentacle porn; if we ever get committee mascots, ours will be a tentacle waving proudly, possibly clutched around a big shiny coin.)

Obviously, that booted the priority waaaaaay up. I mean, I don't even have any wants from a pon farr story, or I didn't - I only actually know what pon farr is because of a) Killa and T. Jonesy's vid and b) because people talk about, like, vid farr and fic farr and so I had to get a précis from Best Beloved a while back. But it doesn't matter, because that is so totally right: this is everything I never even knew I wanted from a pon farr story. And, having read it, I want several million more. I totally understand how this whole slash thing got started, now.

(Also, I don't know if this is canon or Reboot or just fanon, but I love how Spock is, in this story, all, I am totally the least emotional person on the planet la la la logic is my only guiding force, and he's actually totally faking it. Because you cannot tell me he's not making emotional decisions here. He's just, you know, putting a logical face on it. As far as I can tell, Vulcans aren't emotionless, they're just bringing new depth to the concept of repression. No wonder fandom loves them so much.)

The One That Makes Me Think We Should Institute a Program of Mandatory Homosexuality for Los Angeles Police Officers. Apparently It Makes Them Eaiser to Deal with, and God Knows That Would Be a Very Welcome Change. Son Is on a Midnight Run Like DeNiro, by hackthis. Southland, John Cooper/Ben Sherman.

(First, an important note. When I rule the universe, there will be a 25 year moratorium on naming fictional characters John or Jack, and anyone who tries to use either name will have his character named by me, instead, and I can tell you right now that the first one is going to be Gervase. I have had it with this. There are baby name books for a reason, television writers! How hard is it to find a name that doesn't already belong to a major character in every other time slot? Not hard at all. Just pick something that isn't John or Jack. Seriously: Evil Overlord TFV forbids fictional Johns and Jacks. Unless your main character is a girl, and then you can name her John J. Jackson III if you want to.)

Okay. I really needed to say that. But, aside from the John Issue (NO MORE JOHNS EVER I MEAN IT OR IT'S THE SALAD MINES FOR YOU), I kind of love this canon. I mean, I have no idea what it is - the lovely qe2 told me that it's about a canonically gay cop in LA, but that's where my knowledge ends. He could be a canonically gay robot cop in a post-apocalyptic LA populated mostly by centaurs and monkeys, for all I know.

Although in that case, this would be an AU. Because one of the many things I love about this story is - okay. I live in Los Angeles. And this is Los Angeles. I can picture these places! I have driven down that street! I would kill Ben Sherman and eat his corpse to own his house! (No, not really, but I can find you a thousand people who would.) I have no idea if hackthis lives here or if she does really awesome research (I suspect the latter, mostly because I have long suspected that she lives in a secret space habitat orbiting the earth, where she creates superplants and bends them to her will), but either way: oh my god, this is SO Los Angeles. And I love it.

And I love these characters even more. (Yes, even though one of them is named John. I am prepared to forgive even that. This time. Next time, though, it is Gervase for sure.) This is a classic slash epic, involving a main character who is broken (but getting better) and grouchy (but well-meaning) and hot totally despite himself, and I love that.

And I also love, let me add, that the younger, inexperienced partner here is totally the sexual aggressor, and does none of that virginal squeaking that we sometimes see. He's all: yes, I want to do this, now let's get some cocks in play, sir. I deeply, deeply love that. I can't tell you how much.

The One That Will, for the Next Ten Years or So, Make You Snicker Helplessly Anytime Anyone Suggests Purchasing a Shag Rug. And Then Argue That Sex Toys Should Not Come out of the House Maintenance Budget. Hi, I'm Captain Jack Harkness, by frostfire_17. Star Wars x Torchwood, Chewbacca/Jack Harkness.

I am going to sit back for a bit and let that pairing sink in. Now, after it has sunk in but before you run away screaming, I'm going to share with you my own thought process when I saw this:

Me: I, um. Wookiee [and why does my spellchecker know Chewbacca but not Wookiee?]/human sex? Um. I really don't think...
Me: But it's Frostfire, though. She can make me like any pairing. I mean, okay, she's never challenged my limits this much, but...
Me: And if anyone was going to do it, it'd be Captain Jack Harkness.
Me: Oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to read this.

And I did. And I was very, very glad I did. I mean, it would be worth reading just for the introduction, with its slightly frantic explanation of how she came to write this (and, even though she posted it for Kink Bingo, Kink Bingo is not to blame; she just sat down one day and decided to write this of her own free will, and I really had not believed I could love her more, but that did it), but it gets even better than that. It's Jack! And Chewbacca! And Jack so totally would do Chewbacca, and I can't even blame him (although the thought of all that hair touching me makes me want to claw my own skin off, but Jack does not have my issues, or, at this point in his canon, any actual issues that I can tell). And I totally have to congratulate Jack for having the good sense to pick out the best sentient being in the room.

But most of all, I love this story because it made me realize that Jack Harkness isn't kinky. Kinky, to me, requires that you have an unusual focus on one - or several - areas of sexual interest. (Fur! Bondage! Opera glasses and bouffant hairdos! Whatever.) Jack has no special focus whatsoever - he's equally interested in all fields of sexual endeavor. His preference is, basically, any way you want it. Which means that to me Jack Harkness is the definition of vanilla. Obviously I need to work on my terms a bit.

The One That Teaches Us That If You're Going to Do a Spurious Magical Ritual, You Should Do It Outside. Preferably While Armed with Electric Cattleprods, Just in Case. Accidents Will Happen, by holli. Supernatural, gen.

Oh, adolescence. A time of rebellion! A time of unfortunate fashion choices! A time when you accidentally bring the dead back to life in your parents' basement!

Okay, maybe that didn't happen to you. It didn't happen to me, either. But I did once spend four extremely boring hours listening to the angst of a guy who was absolutely convinced he was possessed by a ghost. I had mono, and I was in no mood, and I ended up faking an exorcism just to get him to shut up and let me sleep. (Seriously: I took my middle school Latin - yes, I did say "amo, amas, amat" at one point, so thank you for that, Mrs. Scher - and some candles and some assorted cooking herbs and spices and unpossessed him. And the lesson here is: don't get between a sick person and her bed.) If I'd been living in the world of Supernatural, probably I would have ended up desouling him or something.

I just love this story, and I love these characters - I think I used to know them, in fact - and most of all I love the perspective this provides on the Supernatural universe. Because, sure, there are badass demon hunters with magical guns and magical cocks (I may be wrong about the magical guns, but I can cite several million stories on the magical cocks thing), but there must also be lots of suburban girls with random superpowers. (Also, I bet fire insurance is a bitch to get in the SPN world. And every year good actuaries probably go mad, tearing at their hair and shrieking, "But my predictions should have been correct!")

And let me finish this with a helpful hint for any teenagers reading this: if you accidentally summon a big unconscious naked guy, for the love of god lock him up and call someone. Do not talk to him. Do not get him a blanket. Do not look directly at him unless you're absolutely sure he's out cold. That kind of situation is the definition of something you want to be someone else's problem.

Comments

[amalthia]

Hi, I can't remember if I shared the link to the Ebook Library? I"m not sure how helpful it would be for Kindle users but there are many mobi formatted stories there. And if nothing else a single file RTF version. If you have calibre you can create your own mobipocket fan fics. :)

there is also the Kindle_ebooks community at LJ.

I loved Seperi's story and I got the LRF version up rather quickly but sadly that format doesn't work on the kindle. :( I'm really hoping they'll find one format that works on all devices.

I also love authors that share fic in single non-table html files.

[thefourthvine]

You did! And it is actually pretty helpful for Kindle users, because even if there's not a Kindle-ready format there's the one big file that makes it easy to make a Kindle document. I like it! I use it!

I also love authors that share fic in single non-table html files.

YES YES YES.

[copracat]

Because all the other Vulcans are named Sarek and Saavik, Surak and Tuvok?

I could be wrong about Surak. I googled, but it was a bit overwhelming.

[shelf]

That makes it weirder for me. Why not S'Pok or Supok? I mean, I guess there could be differences in translating the phonetic system to our alphabet, since his might've been done by his mother, rather than by a linguist. But it certainly seems to be pronounced like you would pronounce "sp" in English.

The spoken language of Vulcan does look like it uses CC clusters (st, rr, shk - even shtr) and obviously does C'C (where ' I imagine represents a glottal stop or some kind of break in the sound?) in names and other words, but from the admittedly few Vulcan names/places I've seen, Vulcan doesn't seem to use CC clusters like 'sp' in proper names. (At least, atm: Spock's grandfather was apparently called Skon.) Also from my very thorough ;) research, i.e. searching for the string "sp" on this page, the only times "sp" specifically comes up are in English words and in Spock's name. The Vulcan language dictionary (http://www.starbase-10.de/vld/) has some sp clusters at beginnings of words or where it looks like there were compounds, but in at least one group of those it looks like they borrowed from English. The rest might similarly be borrowed w/o changing much to fit Vulcan phonology.

[kathmandu]

"(Also, I don't know if this is canon or Reboot or just fanon, but I love how Spock is, in this story, all, I am totally the least emotional person on the planet la la la logic is my only guiding force, and he's actually totally faking it. Because you cannot tell me he's not making emotional decisions here. He's just, you know, putting a logical face on it. As far as I can tell, Vulcans aren't emotionless, they're just bringing new depth to the concept of repression. No wonder fandom loves them so much.)"

You really should read Spock's World, by Diane Duane, or at least get Best Beloved to mark the relevant parts for you. Her explanation is that Vulcans---not being psychopaths---do have emotions, they just strive for mastery of emotions. Only a few go through a special process to block all emotions.

See, Vulcans have a very violent and warlike history, to the point where they nearly wiped themselves out multiple times, so nowadays they try REALLY HARD not to let their feelings rule their judgment.

As for the names, T'[foo] is a feminine naming convention. Spock is descended from the great philosopher Surak, the one who pioneered Vulcan pacifism, so men in that family are named S[foo] in his memory.

[thefourthvine]

Sadly, Spock's World seems to be out of print, but I am off to search the wilds of half.com to see if there's a copy there, because that sounds awesome. Thanks for the rec!

Spock is descended from the great philosopher Surak, the one who pioneered Vulcan pacifism, so men in that family are named S[foo] in his memory.

I like this technique better than the English-language technique of just reusing the name and adding a number. How much less cool would Spock have been if he'd been named Surak CVIII?

[hooloovoo]

Fics that are posted in many parts are a problem for me. Because when I go to put them on my kindle, I have to copy paste each section, and that involves seeing each section, and if there are words on my screen I have to read them, and then I get spoiled for really random parts of the fic. I could just not read the words, but that's really hard.

[amalthia]

I run into the same problem sometimes when I'm merging stories. :(

[bluemeridian]

His full name is S'chn T'gai Spock. As I understand it, his family name is S'chn T'gai, while Spock is his 'first' name. His father is S'chn T'gai Sarek. I have read one fic which stated his mother selected the name Spock, and while I doubt that is canon, I rather like the idea. *g*

[jeeps]

ooh, where does this come from? i've only ever heard "he has one, but it's unpronounceable" on the matter.

[medrin]

My theory is that it is Sam that are the most overrepresented name in TV. Yes, Jack and John are there an awful lot to, but unlike Sam there are actually a lot of people named that IRL, but Sam didn't become insanely popular amongst kids until the last ten years, not when all those fictional people were born. Daniel is also overly overused, and all this points to Stargate as the fandom with the most unimaginative namers.

In conclusion, yes, you really should rename the next Jack or John you see to Gervase, but you should also name the next Sam to Erastus.

[thefourthvine]

It's true that Sam is also very much overused, but I don't get twitchy about it the way I do John and Jack. (When you can have a poll made entirely of just Captain Jacks, I feel like things have GONE TOO FAR.)

But if I am made ruler of the universe, I promise I will include Sam on the Mandatory Renaming list. And maybe Daniel. Then I can rename SG1 to be Teal'c, Gervase, Rycroft, and Kusumita.

[kass]

I'm so glad you liked the pon farr story! Isn't it fabulous?

I'm not an oldschool K/S fan per se, so I hadn't spent a lot of time with the genre of pon farr fics, but as I read this one it immediately became clear to me that this is what it's all about. Damn. :-)

[thefourthvine]

Yes INDEED. That story made me a Kirk/Spock believer. I didn't know about the touch telepathy or the mindmelding or even really how the pon farr works, but it is now clear to me that Vulcans were designed as a gift to every fangirl in the land.

[queue]

Your description of Jack Harkness made me so amazingly happy it almost redeemed my mood. (The fact that the redemption was qualified is in NO way ascribable to you.) He is, like, the walking/breathing/screwing definition of What The Actual Fuck.

And I'm so reading that story now. Also the ST:TR K/S, because although that pairing mostly escapes me in TOS (I don't deny it, I'm just not struck by it), it practically jumped me and gave me a lap-dance in the reboot.

I can hook you up with Southland, if you like. It really is worth seeing. In addition to the Kindle, do either you or the Best Beloved have an iPoddy thing that plays video files?

[gnomad]

\o/ I love that there is finally a fandom we're both reading in! And at the same time! Of course, that means I've usually already read the fic, but still, it makes me gleeful.

And mmmmmmChewy porn....

You'll Get There in the End (It Just Takes a While)

[zvi]

How does seperis deal with Uhura in this fic? And is there a suggestion that Kirk and Spock are compelled to be together through some outside force, like fate or the weight of the universe or something?

[ajatshatru]

Chewbacca/Jack Harkness ... before you run away screaming

Hey, Han had a wookiee wife, I found the info somewhere *Is blase*



Okay, certainly not Teppic. You've so been reading PTerry's 'Pyramids' XD

[fanofall]

Do you suppose there's a book out there that tells the hollywood types that they have to name someone Jack or John, or no one will believe they have protagonists? I have often wondered that.

[menatarms]

Have you heard of Fanfiction Downloader? It's a program (only compatible with Windows at the moment) that takes stories from fanfiction archives and can save them as a single file in either RTF, HTML, or MOBI format.

The sites it supports are:
Fanfiction.net
Fanfiktion.de
Checkmated.com
Adultfanfiction.net
Animexx.de
Fictionalley.org
Fictionpress.com
Skyehawke.com
FanFicAuthors.net
FicWad.com

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

Per a memo from to Gene Roddenberry from producer Robert Justman, male Vulcans have names that start with S and end in K; the rules have since loosened up, but the K sound remains very common. Female Vulcans tend to have names that start T’P—; I dunno if that was established by the Great Bird of the Galaxy, or if Theodore Sturgeon came up with that in “Amok Time” (T’Pau and T’Pring) and later writers continued the pattern.

Edit: Ah. Naturally, there is a Wikipedia entry (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulcan_(Star_Trek)#Names) on the subject.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

male Vulcans have names that start with S and end in K

...Are there not a lot of Vulcans, then? Because I would expect, with naming conventions like that, and how long Vulcans live, and especially given that Vulcans appear to have similar rules in re: vowels and suchlike, that there would be a lot of Vulcans with REALLY LONG NAMES. Or else every Vulcan group would be like my first grade class, which was, as I recollect, 60% Jason by volume.

But I suppose it would be logical. I mean, think how much it would simplify monogrammed towels.

[shinealightonme]

At some point in original Trek, Spock says he has a first name, but humans can't pronounce it. I've always suspected that the "unpronounceable name" thing is an epic inside joke the Vulcans are playing on humans, dating back to first contact between the species, when the Vulcans were trying to come off as impressive and enigmatic as possible, and they've kept it up since then because of good old fashioned Vulcan determination.

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

“This Side of Paradise,” i.e. “the one with the spores and Spock in a tree.” A

[cathalin.livejournal.com]

I would just like to say that you make my world a brighter place. I am not even kidding. Every single one of these recs sounds like *exactly* what I would love. I've been meaning to read Jenn's anyway (omg why *haven't* I, since I've stalked her writing since the internet was first invented or something, and also shipped k/s in my head before I even knew what sex was, and probably even slashed the *concepts* of mind melds and pon farr).

Also, call me crazy, but only you could cause me to knowingly read Wookie slash.:)

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

OMG, read Jenn's story! Read it now! You will liiiiiiiike it. (And you will like all these others, too, I do believe.)

And I had no idea about mind melds and pon farr and that until very late in life, so it has always seemed to me like Vulcans were more or less DESIGNED for slashing purposes. I mean, can you imagine if original Trek were on the air now? Can you imagine the reaction to whatever episode first introduced pon farr? The internets would break. The newsletter the next day would have to be cut for length and might very well break the post character limit. We would probably run out of exclamation points.

Also, call me crazy, but only you could cause me to knowingly read Wookie slash.

IT'S FROSTFIRE'S FAULT. BLAME HER.

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahaha, THANK YOU. I am happy I could make you happy, and now you have made me really happy, so now it's all one big circle of happiness and xenophilia. And shag carpets. :)

But seriously, the reception that this story has gotten has been so great, and I am always pleased when you like something of mine, and I am always very, very pleased when I get someone to like something of which they were once skeptical. And that is such an awesome rec, I laughed and laughed. YAY. *pleased*!! And Jack! Jack as the uber-vanilla! I'm going to have to give that some thought.

*hugs!*

[geeklite.livejournal.com]

I will admit, I had seen your story mentioned a few times and had always skipped over it, but since tfv mentioned it, I just had to go read, and seriously I was amazed by how much I liked the idea. :D

[raucousraven.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh, Reboot!fic. Never leave me!

Also, T'Pain totally needs to be canon right now.

[athenejen]

Huh. I tend to think of vanilla as only really liking straight-up, non-kinky sex, and kinky as having some set of kinks; someone who would possibly be turned on by all of them would still strike me as essentially kinky and definitely not vanilla, as a vanilla person would probably find most of them kinda gross, or at least not hot. Though, I do see your point about "kinky" meaning, to you, having specific kinks (and only specific kinks), in that case I would submit that Jack Harkness is neither kinky nor vanilla. At least not in the way the term vanilla is used in kink-related communities. I think you could make a case for it if you go back to the base metaphor (vanilla going with everything), but that is not really how it's commonly used.

I agree with you about the John/Jack thing, but I'd also like to submit Chuck for a temporary moratorium, as the number of popular and oft-discussed characters named Chuck has proliferated greatly in the past couple of years, and Chuck is an unusual enough name that I end up doing a mental double-take nearly every time I see it.

[lapillus]

And we need to add Sam to the list of names to avoid. At this point I hesitate even to guess gender from it.

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

Man, I love that SPN story. It is ALWAYS good for a pick-me-up when I need one.

[azurelunatic]

According to Spock's World, and this is borne out in other bits of actual canon, Vulcans are a people of strong and raw emotions by nature. Surak, the famed Vulcan philosopher, saw how the emotions of his people were driving them to their destruction, and went about changing the world. In the end, Vulcans controlled their emotions, and Romulans (Rihannsu, dammit!) who chose to embrace their passions, went off-planet and far away.

[cellia.livejournal.com]

I was debating whether to post something like this about Vulcans and emotions, so thank you! (and for putting it better than I would have as well!)

[wendelah1]

I love your plot summaries complete with color commentary. I think I enjoy them more than most of the fic I read.

[azurelunatic]

Also, faking an exorcism is awesome.

My cure-all for most people who believe themselves to be in possession of Serious Magical Troubles is a white candle and an earnest prayer for protection. I found it ever so hard to not laugh at a fellow I used to work with who believed himself to have gotten hexed by an email forward. (Whatever it was that was bothering him, that worked, he reported back.) Headology ftw.

[seadreamer.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear God in heaven, you made me read Wookiesex!!! And I so blamed it on you too, when I commented at the author's LJ. Thank you for that. I'll be sure to blame you for the sick, sick and twisted dreams, and might quite possibly work this into Cliche Bingo somehow. ^_~

Lackey CD reference?

[brindel.livejournal.com]

I am prepared to forgive even that. This time. Next time, though, it is Gervase for sure.

Gervase? As in the Lizard Wizard?! (I totally love that song!) *g*