[Poll] Park Manners.

[thefourthvine]

Ever since I realized, back in college, that I was dropping social cues with the kind of consistency most people reserve for breathing, I have maintained two mental lists, and I spend at least a small part of every day going over them: Social Cues Dropped (But at Least, in Retrospect, I Know What I Was Supposed to Do or Say) and Social Clues Dropped (No Clue What Should Have Happened.) I am pleased to say that the second list is generally shorter these days than it used to be. (The other one is much, much longer. But this post is not about my oddities.)

There is also a third mental list that I update less frequently. It is probably best titled simply WTF?, although I think of it as Other People's Mistakes.

Today, I had an interaction that I am tentatively slotting into the third category, but I'd like your opinion on it.

Because of an unexpected appointment cancellation, I took the earthling to the park rather later than is usual. After some time on the swings and the playset, the earthling went into climb-every-mountain mode and began slogging up the highest hill in the park.

At the top of that hill is a stone bench and table. When we got there, there was a man, middle-aged and normal looking, sitting on the bench, and a dog, one of those big silky collies that always look dignified even when they are running into trees, sitting at his feet. (This one did not, while I watched, run into a tree, but I will never forget seeing a collie do that. It changed my view of them forever.) When we got near the bench, the earthing experienced summit sadness and began refusing to go in any direction that was not further up, which was problematic, since we were as high as we could go. Observing me negotiating with the earthling, the normal (looking) man leaned over and said to me, thoughtfully:

"You know, I think my dog is the love of my life."

"Yes, dogs are wonderful," I said, most of my mind on the earthling.

"I've never felt this way about anyone else," he said.

"They're really wonderful," I agreed, starting to feel like I was joining a conversation already in progress.

"She's sure better than any woman," he said, sort of chuckling. Then he paused, and in a low, more personal tone added, "Or any man."

"...Oh?" I said.

"I really do love this dog. I mean love this dog," he continued. "People can't understand that, but it is what it is and I don't regret it." He paused for a second, then added, "I just wish people were open-minded. That's what I always say: keep an open mind."

"That's, um, nice. You have a good day, now," I said, and scooped up the earthling and carried him, protesting vigorously, toward the car.

So, my question to you people is: was that as weird as it felt at the time? And if so, when did it go off the rails?

Let me know what you think: take the poll over at LJ!

Comments

[parhelion]

Wow. When did Mr. J. R. Ackerley come back from the dead, along with Queenie, to haunt you and the earthling?

Here's hoping that was only a case of really, really, really bad phrasing which translates in day-to-day life to nothing more than the collie having more chew toys than even a dog knows what to do with.

[scrollgirl]

I'm kind of hoping the guy was just trying to freak you out so you'd leave him in peace at the top of that hill. Ewww :P

[jan]

LOL! I'm with Scrollgirl -- I bet he was just trying to weird you out so you'd leave him in peace, especially if your negotiations with the earthling involved crying or whining. Some people have zero tolerance for kids' noise and will do anything to get away from kids (whereas most moms I know have extraordinary tolerance, to the point of selective deafness I'm afraid). Have you read about this? [http://www.mercurynews.com/top-stories/ci_13671032] SWA subsequently apologized.

[scrollgirl]

Oh wow, I can't imagine getting kicked off a plane like that. Yeah, screaming kids are annoying, but a plane ticket is a plane ticket, you know?

[jan]

I agree. I've been stuck on plane with a screaming baby before; it was not pleasant, but after I put my earplugs in, I was fine. I figure it's public transportation -- it comes with the territory.

Note ironicon use. *g*

[chalcopyrite]

Wow. I mean, it started with a non-sequitur (that didn't even have anything to sequit from!) and just... got weirder. I didn't really appreciate the o.0 element until the *second* time I read this, because I was trying to figure out what moved him to open that conversation in the first place. Srsly, WTH?

(Okay, I was also laughing at the collie running into a tree, but I think that's excusable.)

[merrily]

O_o

Man people are odd.

[giglet]

I sure hope there was context missing. But his choosing to talk to you about it was a pretty clear case of oversharing.

[xenacryst]

Yeah, that was weird. I think it went off the rails with the first "You know." If it was ever on the rails to begin with, something I'm not entirely sure of. Maybe he was just trying to fend you off, but he was doing so ... very oddly.

[fish_echo]

Ever since I realized, back in college, that I was dropping social cues with the kind of consistency most people reserve for breathing, I have maintained two mental lists, and I spend at least a small part of every day going over them: Social Cues Dropped (But at Least, in Retrospect, I Know What I Was Supposed to Do or Say) and Social Clues Dropped (No Clue What Should Have Happened.)

I wish I were as dedicated as to have actual lists! Instead, I just sort of go *sigh, standard human interactions. foiled again. sigh* and then worry over things.


And as far as the park conversation, yeah, weird.

[norah]

I told you about the guy I met when I was leafleting against Prop 8, right? Who was convinced people would want to marry their dogs, and then kind of...went there?

[bravecows]

Ahahaha, that is definitely third category! I think the conversation went off the rails at the second line -- maybe even the first, especially if you weren't already gazing admiringly at his dog. But then I tend to dislike having strangers strike up conversations with me. Americans might tend to do that more as an ordinary thing?

[perfica]

Perhaps he keeps having this same conversation with every stranger he meets in the hope that one day someone will finally say, "Yes, it's perfectly reasonable for you to love your dog that much. Go sex him/her/it up with my blessing!"

[zing_och]

I'd guess this guy is not all too familiar with the rails in the first place.

[torch]

Yes, this. I'm not sure this conversation had any rails.

[ladyvyola]

I believe I shall quote The Truth About Cats & Dogs: "We can love our pets, we just can't LOVE our pets."

And I agree with Torch. There were no rails, safety or otherwise, in place around this conversation.