Chicken Help Requested!

[thefourthvine]

Dear meat-cooking faction of my friends list,

I would like to make some chicken. I want it to be a mix of white and dark meat, something that I can easily convert into small pieces, and fairly tender (not dry, not very chewy). It does not need much of a sauce, because most of it will go into the freezer for Earthling Chicken Salad. (Chicken pieces + diced fresh tomatoes + olive oil + choice of flavoring.) Ideally, it should keep all the fat it came with.

What do I need to buy? (Keep in mind that I am buying this for Tiny Alice Waters, and thus should probably go for higher-quality chicken, if there is a variation in quality amongst chickens; also, for reasons of personal moral qualms, I am willing to pay more for more humanely-treated chicken, if that exists.) Where should I buy it? What do I need to do? How can I make chicken happen?

Please keep in mind that although I am a good home cook, I have never made meat. I was a vegetarian long before I learned to cook, so meat has always been a total blind spot in my kitchen vision, if that makes sense. If there is a ritual anointing that anyone would know to do? I don't know it. If there's some safe-handling thing that is so insanely obvious that no one ever mentions it? I won't do it unless you tell me to do it. You know those exercises you had to do in school where you had to pretend the teacher was an alien (generally not much of a feat of imagination, there) and explain to her how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Please pretend I am an alien, because I am. I have never visited Planet Meat before. I need a very thorough travel guide.

I have a crockpot, and if a crockpot can produce this kind of food, I would prefer to use it, since mine has three crocks and one can just become the Meat Crock. But if there is an easy, non-crockpot method for producing chicken, I would also enjoy hearing about it. (Please nothing that requires setting fires. I would prefer to emerge from this with all my parts basically intact.)

I would really appreciate your help. (And Tiny Alice Waters would, too.)

<3,
TFV

Comments

[concinnity.livejournal.com]

Most of my farmer's markets sell dead animal bits, although they are somewhat hidden behind all the delicious fruits and vegetables. Based on what you've said, I bet yours does, too. Those dead animals have probably been more humanely raised and slaughtered than the ones at the supermarket, which in my experience means they taste better, too.

You can ask the farmer about whether and how often they move the chicken pens around (ideally, you want a pastured and free-roaming chicken. Depending on where your chickens lived, they have enormous acreage, or enormous acreage upon which they are shuttled from location to location), if they're organic or transitioning or whatever. Oh, and your farmer can probably tell you what parts are better for what you want.

Alternatively, you could also check www.eatwild.com to see if there is a farmer near you, or a farmer that ships to your location. As I understand it, many of the farmers will send you meat on dry ice or something. Anyway, apparently it is still delicious when it reaches you.

The only thing I know about cooking chicken is that they are tastier with butter and/or olive oil.

I'm impressed/shocked that you're doing this! Good luck!

[sapote3.livejournal.com]

I want to second this, as as I have commented earlier I can at some times approach Earthling-level gastronomic pickiness. I promise you that low-grade commercial chicken will taste different - it's spongier, paler, much less developed, and much less chickeny. The difference is about the same as uninspired 24-hour-diner scrambled eggs versus good farmer's market eggs.

Now, I have not cooked many chickens independently, but I have been an accessory to a lot of chicken-cooking, and I vote with everyone who says to remove the giblets, add oil & spices or broth, and roast or crock-pot the entire chicken to the point of food safety and then pick the meat off. I am not a huge fan of dismembering whole raw chickens, partially from a sanitation standpoint (the mess incurred is far less if you cook it first because the raw chicken touches fewer things) and partially because raw chicken meat is gelatinous and tough and unpleasant, while cooked chicken meat handles like food. The only reasons I can think of to dismember the raw chicken is if you want to sautee or fry pieces separately, and it doesn't seem like you do - you just want a whole mass of cooked chicken to do things with.

Oh, in response to your question on the last thread - I was going to recommend the Polentia Provencale from TJ's, but I just got a bag that had really substandard peas, I think they're going through some troubles with their pea suppliers. But the polenta chunks, pea-less, might still work - they're effing delicious. And the whole thing's in heavy creme fraiche, so yay full-fat.