I am up for auction! Okay, my work is.

[thefourthvine]

I am up for auction at help_japan. This is one of those "Who knows if anyone will want this, but, hey, someone might!" type auctions, because what I am offering is: a review.

Yes! If you were looking for a bewildered review by someone who probably knows absolutely nothing about your fandom and may not be able to identify any of the characters by the end, never mind at the beginning, I am here for you. I will review any English-language (English subtitles also acceptable), Netflixable (if it will be Netflixable eventually, and you're willing to wait, that's fine) movie or TV episode you choose. I am not expecting kindness, either. I will totally watch Spock's Brain for charity.

Things to note: Whatever you pick for me can't have child death or animal harm in it. (It is okay if they're endangered, as long as it is clear they're fine in the end. And if it's just a tiny thing in an otherwise safe movie or episode - horses die in battle or whatever - I will deal.) Also, I can totally promise to write a review about whatever you want me to watch, but I can't promise to like it. I might! But I might not. And in any case I will almost certainly be poking fun at whatever it is. (See the TOS review below - I really do love TOS. But that doesn't mean I'm always nice to it.) Just something to keep in mind.

Some of my previous reviews, so you can decide if this is something you might wish to spend your charity donation currency unit of choice on: Anchors Aweigh, Star Trek TOS: Journey to Babel, and, as a total blast from the past, The Fast and the Furious.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, YAY! Bid at my thread.

ETA: K-drama partisans may wish to read the DW comments!

Comments

[sassbandit]

Oh, I *so* want to make you watch Sharpe :P

[blueraccoon]

I have bid on this thread, however due to diminishing finances and such may not win. If I don't win, what do I have to do to get you to write a review for me anyway? :)

[paxpinnae]

Okay. Based on the first ten minutes of bidding, there's no way I'm going to be able to afford this on my own, but does anyone want to pool resources on getting a review of a k-drama?

[thefourthvine]

And you can! Bid, and your will be done! Although, I'm just warning you: it's a hat fandom, right? I'm not going to be able to tell anyone from anyone else. BUT I WILL WATCH IT ANYWAY!

[dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com]

TEMPTING.

Which one were you thinking of?

[thefourthvine]

Um, make very persuasive suggestions? I have no idea! It never occurred to me that this would be a thing someone actually might want.

[paxpinnae]

I'm totally flexible. The first episode of IRIS presents interesting possibilities, because of the mud-wrestling and how clearly Sa Woo and Hyun Joon are in gay gay special forces love, but then again something like Boys Over Flowers or My Lovely Samsoon gives a lot more room for gender role commentary. Or you could just toss TFV off the deep end and do something like Coffee Prince. So, yes, clearly I need help on many levels.

[odditycollector]

If I had more disposable income right now, I'd be trying to force you to watch the sexbots and cupcakes show. And giggling a lot. (It is... pretty bad.)

[out_there]

While this probably sounds like something no-one would want, I immediately read and thought, "That would be awesome. Totally awesome."

But on the other hand, money. But on the really awesome third hand, at least I'll still get to read the awesome review of whatever-it-is.

[thefourthvine]

Sexbots. And cupcakes. What show IS this? Because, um, wow, that's two things I never expected to see together.

[thefourthvine]

I just want to say that this comment is simultaneously enthralling and confusing. I 100% approve of gay gay special forces love! And, um, I am REALLY curious about what parts of Coffee Prince constitute tossing me off the deep end.

Either way, k-drama sounds like a fascinating field of study!

[odditycollector]

As an answer, I am just going to c&p an old LJ post in your general direction.

I've just watched a few episodes of Zettai Kareshi - a Japanese soap about a girl who is randomly selected to receive her very own sexbot. I am not sure I would recommend it to anyone who doesn't immediately pencil in a dozen exclamation points after the concept, but. But. The universe is more complete that there is a live action drama about a sexbot* in it.

*A surprisingly pg-13 rated sexbot drama, so far, unless maybe you are against guys running around in their underwear?

odditycollector: Okay, so the show seems to be divided into "the robot chasing her in case she wants to have sex with it" and "cupcake crises."
caia_comica: .....omg this show was written by the Superdictionary people!

[thefourthvine]

I encourage you to GO FOR IT. I promise to write you many words of bewildered incoherence!

(And, truly, it does indeed sound to me like something no one would want. But people have bid! For which I am grateful. Very, very grateful. Also a little fearful, because - oh my god, what would someone PAY to have me watch?)

[thefourthvine]

I REMEMBER THAT POST. I even remember thinking that in an alternate universe where I actually watched - you know, things - I would have to see an episode of that, because SEXBOTS AND CUPCAKES.

Although mostly what I remember about that post is thinking that caia_comica is awesome. And very, very right.

[dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com]

. . . I think I need this first episode of IRIS you speak of here.

This is an idea which makes me deeply, deeply happy. Sadly, I can only commit about $25 to it, and I don't think that's more than a drop in the bucket of what would be needed to win this auction.

[amberfox]

Given the fact that I had to put my dinner aside after the second time I nearly snorted a cherry tomato out my nose, I would! Sadly, I make $80 a week, so the odds of me coming up with enough spare money to get anywhere are basically nil. But I'll enjoy the results anyway. You're going to share, right?

[paxpinnae]

EVERYONE needs the first episode of IRIS. Fortunately, it, like all the k-dramas I mentioned, is available streaming on Drama Fever.

That's about my maximum commitment too, which I why I wanted to reach out to other people. We cannot be the only two people who want to see what happens when TFV reviews a korean soap opera.

[quinfirefrorefiddle]

My job just ended today, and I needed to donate a chunk of my last paycheck to charity (yes, required) and I don't have another job lined up- and I'm not *supposed* to feel resentful about donating, but I was.

And now? If it wins an "Empath" review? Well, that may make me smile while applying for jobs that are so ridiculously below my paygrade that I'm actually moving in with my dad for an indefinite amount of time.

Awesome.

[odditycollector]

Well if you ever do... it is mostly nonsense and gentlemen in underwear, and then entirely oblivious to its occasional interlude of Deep Existential Horror. Should a robot that has shown signs of self preservation beyond its programming be considered defective or the envoy of new form of sentience we are... uh. using as sexbots? What is consent, here? What if a robot extrapolates its future and responds with Do Not Want?

NEVER MIND HAVE A CUPCAKE.

(Also, it has a company that is the worst ever at focus group testing.)

Also, as you requested, I was going to tell you about the shoes! But I see you have found them.

[thefourthvine]

I cannot help but feel that there needs to be a Portal crossover with this fandom. Mostly because I want to read the line "THE CUPCAKE IS A LIE."

Also, YAY SHOES!

[thefourthvine]

How can they make you donate a chunk of your paycheck? Isn't it supposed to be, you know, voluntary? *eyes them*

You totally deserve an Empath review, I tell you what.

[quinfirefrorefiddle]

I'm (almost) a pastor. Donations are part of the job- and actually, I'm a little behind, this'll help me catch up.

They don't actually check or anything... but I need to do it.

You'll actually like McCoy! I think. It's a delightful ep (aside from, you know, the random torturing- but it's 60's TV primetime torture, so you'll be fine)... and actually creates a bunch of fic tropes, I think.

ETA: Also, you are going to *love* the scenery.

[gwyn]

Oh, dude, I got all excited there for a second and thought you might be offering to review one of our fics! (Or vids!) Not that I would not totally love to hear your take on, say, Prison Break or something, which could be fucking high-larious.

[zeborah]

Ooh, thanks for the link! This means I can watch the rest of Queen Seondeok whose broadcast here got sadly interrupted by an unrelated earthquake (Christchurch) and the destruction of my TV three weeks ago.

I am, as this implies, more a fan of the historical k-dramas than those in more modern settings. On the other hand, IRIS looks intriguing too! I could throw US$25 into the pot too if it'd help.

[zeborah]

(Oh curses, they don't stream outside North America. Oh well, I'll find some other source. Anyway my offer stands.)