Slashy Nominations 71: A Rhapsody of Words

[thefourthvine]

I am reading a great, great book, a book that has healed my soul. Said book is Eats, Shoots & Leaves, which has made me feel a lot better about caring more about apostrophe use and the Oxford comma than, for example, the environment. I'm assuming everyone out there has already read this book, but if you have somehow overlooked it - really, purchase it at once. Your joy will expand without limit, I promise you.

So, in tribute to this (grand, delightful, even orgasmic) book, I am offering a selection of fan fiction related to language or linguistics - fan fiction, in short, designed to appeal to the word nerd in all of us. (Because there is a word nerd in all of us, right? Of course there is. I cannot believe otherwise.)

Word nerds unite! You have nothing to lose but inappropriately-used punctuation! And your sanity, of course, but that was living on borrowed time anyway.

Best FF That Demonstrates That You Can Tell Pretty Much Everything About a Relationship, or for That Matter a Person, by Looking at Dictionary Use: Prolix, by Dira Sudis, aka dsudis. Due South, Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski. It was tough to choose just one language-themed story from this fandom, because this is one fandom that really gets the importance of word-related fan fiction. But, in the end, I had to go with this story, because it lives in my mind (and heart) at the intersection of my language bitchiness and my fan fiction love: the perfect blend, at least for me, of the things I hold dear in life. (Well, some of them; I do have loves and interests besides smut and English. I mean, yes, I'm pathetic, but no one is that pathetic.) Kowalski is expanding his vocabulary. Fraser is watching, and I don't mean just watching Kowalski's dictionary use. And, speaking of dictionaries, there is a detail of Fraser's history in this story that is so perfect, so exactly right, that I completely believe it; that detail has been written into canon in my brain. It just feels that true. Although, for the record, a good vocabulary is not the usual result of poor parenting, so no one should try that at home.

Best FF That Demonstrates That True Love Is Never Needing a Thesaurus: Two Words for the Same Thing, by Bastet, aka sweetvalleyslut. Sports Night, Dan Rydell/Casey McCall. Reason number 1,239 why you should love Sports Night: canon word nerds. Slashy canon word nerds! It's a dream come true, frankly: smart, funny men who have the perfect way with words and are so clearly in love that it's impossible not to hum "O Perfect Love" every time they smile at each other, or in fact have any kind of interaction. Here Danny and Casey demonstrate that there is nothing sexier than a person who has an extensive knowledge of synonyms and corrects other people during important conversations. (Because that is sexy, right?) Another amazing thing about this story: it's an all-dialog fic that works. Of course, if there was ever a TV show that was essentially all dialog, Sports Night was it, so it's not exactly shocking that this works, but it does show how well the author gets the Sorkin sound. (And there's also a bonus word nerd in the form of Jeremy, who asks the question about Quo Vadimus that has been bothering me ever since the first time I read the name. I love Jeremy. And not just because he makes everyone else on Earth look relatively un-nerdy, though that definitely helps.)

Best FF That Features Tim Simultaneously Acting Like an Adolescent Boy, an Adolescent Girl, a Member of the Batfamily, and Tim. But Mostly Tim.: Question of Semantics, by weirdnessmagnet. D.C. Universe, Tim Drake (Robin III)/Dick Grayson (Nightwing). The author describes this as "schmangst," and she's got that right, but this is so how the birdboys would do schmangst. Tim wants everyone to be as perfect and subtle as he is. Dick wants everyone to be as open and direct as he is. And, in the end, it all boils down to semantics. And, of course, the two of them work it out through hot sex, because, really, Tim and Dick were made for PWP. Word nerd bonus: Tim has special words he hates! That is just so perfectly, lovably Tim, and it makes me feel such a bond of sympathy with him that I'm actually sort of scared, because identification with a member of the Batclan is one of the seven warning signs of insanity. (They don't tell you this, but most psychologists have dumped the DSM, with all its revisions and finicky, ever-changing criteria, in favor of the simpler and more accurate Superheroic and Mutant Diagnostic Manual. Clinicians love it, and patients feel much more comfortable when their mental disorders are expressed in terms of Marvel v. D.C. v. independent. Demand the SMDM today!)

Best Use of a Tattoo in Fan Fiction Ever, and I Say This as Someone Who Likes Her Fan Fiction Inky: Alignment, by Pares, aka kormantic. The Dark Is Rising, Bran Davies/Will Stanton (with implied John Rowlands/Owen Davies, unless I've completely lost my mind). I'm not sure why this story appealed to my language geek as much as it did. (Actually, I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the last lines, and possibly also something to do with the fandom. I mean, the canon has the greatest imaginary book ever, so naturally this fandom would call to those of us with a literature kink.) In "Alignment," Will and Bran meet again, years after the events of Silver on the Tree, and they get together. Because, clearly, they were destined for each other. I will hear no argument on this point. Pares's view of Will and Bran is a little unusual, but in a good way. And then there's the tattoo, which is total genius; I need Bran to have this tattoo, and that's all there is to it. And did I mention the last lines? I see I did. But I'm mentioning them again, because, wow, that's just...so...I mean...they're just...let me start over. The last few lines, especially the last things Will and Bran say to each other, please my inner language geek to the point where she's dazed and incoherent. (Well, obviously.) Yeah, I could do with a lot more FF like this.

Comments

[erjika.livejournal.com]

Hi, I'm a not-so-closeted language slut, so THANK YOU for posting these recs. *in a happy place*

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Yay! Rejoice in your uncloseted, open, proud language sluttishness. We are the last bastions of decency in this society, and fine company, too.

We need an icon, actually: proud to be a word slut. Increase our visibility! Show everyone we aren't ashamed!

Um. May be over-doing this a trifle. But you take my point.

[fanofall.livejournal.com]

Do you think makesmewannadie would make us "Proud to be a word slut" icons?

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

I think she might, if we asked her very, very nicely. Of course, I already owe her such an enormous debt that I am very close to writing FF because otherwise I will never be able to return even the tiniest fraction of what she has given me, so it might be unwise of me to ask. But I look at it this way: if I already owe her that much, what's a little more on top of it? (One hopes that the answer to that is not, "the straw that broke MMWD's back." One really, really hopes.)

So, let us whine enticingly at her in unison, shall we?

[fanofall.livejournal.com]

OKAY!

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Are we heading over to her comments to do it? Or does she have a special "whine" thread?

I suppose we could just link her over to this.

*whines enticingly, just in case MMWD is listening, and waves to fanofall to join in*

[fanofall.livejournal.com]

::whines a LOT::

[whispers] Do you think it will work?

[norah.livejournal.com]

"Proud to be a word slut"....
Okay, there's that
And "pedant pride"
and "Glorious in our freakishness"
and "Prevent Prejudice: Hate Everyone"
and I need a begging icon that says "pretty please"

Send me whatever bases you've got - some of these things are hard to find visual representations of!

[fanofall.livejournal.com]

Okay. I really really suck at this stuff, but I've got a couple of ideas. I'll come up with something. :-D

[erjika.livejournal.com]

Haha, I've been in the process of making a "language whore" icon for a while, though it'd be more of a foreign language thing, rather than a linguistics thing. <-- *points out excellent use of descriptors* The only problem is that I am also a queen of procrastination, and, well...

But yes! Language sluts must unite! (and more language-centric fics must be written!)

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Huh. An icon with "smut" in a whole bunch of languages would be really, really cool. And you could do a variation of "sex: the universal fandom" - "smut: the universal language." Or "sex: the universal language." That would work, too.

Icon lust ends now.

What kind of foreign-language icon are you going to do?

[erjika.livejournal.com]

An icon with "smut" in a whole bunch of languages would be really, really cool.

Hee! That's pretty much what I tried doing at first; just the phrase "language whore" or "language slut" in several different languages. Unfortunately, I don't speak any language aside from English fluently, and appealing to my flist didn't help all that much. Basically, it ended up being many variants of romantic languages, plus Japanese, and that was it. I wanted at least a couple things germanic!

So instead I (was? am?) planning to just throw in a bunch of random foreign phrases, even (and especially) nonsensical things, and then have "language whore" at the bottom. Unfortunately, as I said, my laziness Knows No Bounds...

I'm liking the idea of "sex: the universal language," because it's so true! And it'd be a lot easier to find 'sex' in multiple languages (had a long discussion over which Japanese words to use for "language whore").

Alas, the icon lust will never die! *was condemned the day she bought extra userpics*

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Alas, the icon lust will never die! *was condemned the day she bought extra userpics*

For me,it went in the other direction: the icon lust, followed by shameful succumbing to said lust, followed by accumulation of icons, followed by need to use (and show off) said icons, followed by purchase of extra userpics. It's good to know that that particular reaction works just as well in reverse.

And it'd be a lot easier to find 'sex' in multiple languages

For something that simple, I imagine you might even be able to trust Babelfish, which claims:

Dutch = geslacht (ew)
French = sexe (a little unoriginal, from our perspective)
German = geschlecht (gesundheit!)
Italian = sesso (a brand of gasoline, yes?)
Portugese and Spanish = sexo (I'm beginning to see a problem with the concept; there's such a thing as *too* simple)

Plus you can use their Japanese, Russian, Korean, Chinese, and Greek ones, even if I can't transcribe them here.

And, speaking of icons, who is that in yours?

[erjika.livejournal.com]

Regarding compulsive icon-making, that's kinda how it was with me; needed more space to show off icons. It's just that the act of purchasing extra icons was the signal of my doom, from which I doubt I'll ever recover. Woe! _o_

Haha, my friend's reaction upon finding out how to say "I love you" in German: "Well no wonder Germans don't have many kids!" (honestly, though, could there be a less sexy way of saying that?? "Ich liebe dich" *spits out phlegm*)

Thank you for the translations! I think we can manage to trust babelfish for sex. Which sounds really bizarre, but hey. *starts working on it* Just too bad they don't have Arabic; that's such a pretty-looking language.

Posterboy of my icon is Tomas Rosicky, a footballer from Czech Republic (and he is Teh Uberpretty!). And yes, hi, I'm very football-obsessed right now. It's fun to see how one's fandoms change, just by looking at one's userpics. XD