Re your footnote - there's a LJ community for anthropomorphic fiction. I wouldn't be surprised if someone has already written Love/Hate. The latest is Lie/Truth slash. Some pieces are really quite good, with a range of styles, though humor often predominates. I'm partial to the linguistic pieces myself, though Diet/Junk Food was also well done.
From user info: A community for fiction about anthropomorphic personifications, from Academia to Potassium Ion Channels, and the anthropomorphs and humans who love them.
Anthropomorphic Fiction
http://www.livejournal.com/community/anthropomor_fic/
From user info:
A community for fiction about anthropomorphic personifications, from Academia to Potassium Ion Channels, and the anthropomorphs and humans who love them.