Keep Hoping Machine Running (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thefourthvine) wrote2022-03-04 02:45 pm
thefourthvine) wrote2022-03-04 02:45 pm
Entry tags:
You Can Absolutely Remake Reality, Philip Roth. It's Called Fan Fiction.
This was initially going to be a set of small fandoms, and then I looked at my bookmarks and went: wow, that is SURE a lot of random RPF you read last fall for whatever reason. Maybe do that? And I am throwing in some fandom explanations, because I don't expect every person who reads this to be an avid fan of, you know. The YouTube show Just Puddings. For example.
Like That Ring I Never Won, by nahco3. Men’s Basketball RPF, Kevin Durant/Russell Westbrook.
Let me fill you in on the big drama here. Kevin and Russell were the core of the OKC Thunder for years, and they were this weird duo that shouldn’t have worked but somehow did. (Russell is all fashion and style and wild, on and off the court. KD (his nickname, which I sometimes enjoy calling him because due to overexposure to Canadians, I think for a second about Kraft Dinner, a thing he would never, ever eat) is pure control, all about discipline.) They were close! They loved each other! They were stars! But they never quite had the right team behind them to get a championship. Then Kevin’s contract was up, and the question was -- would he re-sign with OKC to stay with Russell?
Friends, he did not. He went to go win championships with the Golden State Warriors and left Russell alone and losing in OKC. Russell, when it was his turn to move on, chose the Houston Rockets. (There wasn’t room for him on the Warriors anyway.) And my heart broke, just a tiny bit. Because they were so great together and it was very sad.
So what this is is fix-it fic for real life. I love it because it’s got all the pining and all the yearning and also it has James Harden, Meddlesome Best Friend, living his best life by absolutely destroying Kevin Durant’s. Plus, Russell Westbrook gets to be happy, which is all I really want from this pairing. (No, that’s a lie. I want them both to be happy. Together. Which this fic delivers.)
I’m Gonna Keep You in Love with Me (for a While), by beethechange. Buzzfeed: Unsolved, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej.
The deal here is that Ryan and Shane had a successful Buzzfeed show in which, uh, Ryan told Shane ghost stories and then they explored various “haunted” locations. (No hauntings were ever observed.) Ryan is the big-eyed believer in all things paranormal, and also, uh, all things. Shane is the mostly skeptic trying and failing, because it’s literally impossible, to convince Ryan that there are simpler explanations than “a goat demon is infesting this bridge.” (Don’t ask.)
No, really. This whole show concept is way more entertaining than it sounds, mostly because Ryan absolutely loses it any time they’re on location, so you have Shane trying to sleep in a bed in a haunted hotel and Ryan next to him, truly and perfectly high on fear, unable to blink or think. But it’s also entertaining because of their dynamic, because they fuck with each other and are good friends and have A+ banter. (You may have seen them in such notable gifs and memes as “hey there, demons, it’s me, ya boi” and “I’ve connected the dots.” Seriously good banter.)
So, yeah, the key unsolved question of the canon is obviously “what if they woke up married?” and that is something beethechange asks and answers extremely well in this fic. It has everything you want from a woke up married fic: panic, unfortunate Instagram posts, awkward conversations with friends and coworkers, awkward bed-sharing, and, of course, true love forever (eventually). And, given that we’re talking about Ryan and Shane here, also truly amazing banter. It is what I want! All the time! Honestly just the best.
Learn to Beg and Learn to Say Please, by likecharity. British Comedy RPF, Ed Gamble/James Acaster.
These are two British comedians who have a podcast together about food, where James is the magic genie server (the word “server” is used advisedly here; James gives off a Certain Vibe, by which I mean “he toured the country with a show that involved him kneeling for the first chunk of it, because I guess he’s just more comfortable on his knees?”) and Ed is the nominal normal adult (he is in fact barely managing the “adult” half of that phrase), and their guests order their perfect meal. (Which is then described at length, so it can either be an absolute sensory delight, or it can be Joe Thomas telling the world’s longest story about how he failed to roast a lamb and it was gross, because Joe Thomas is Not Like the Other Large-Eyed Waifs and may not even be human.)
They -- we’re back to James and Ed now -- also have a YouTube show together called Just Puddings, where Ed, a type one diabetic, tells James, a confirmed sugar lover, what desserts to eat for him. Yes, that’s how they phrase it. I have to think that Ed, at least, is fully aware of how that sounds, but he definitely does not give a fuck. And James certainly likes being told what to do and what to eat! Which is just a normal thing that everyone enjoys! Right?
So clearly there was an identified need to investigate this whole situation. Like. Someone had to get to the bottom (and also the top) of it all. And likecharity took on that burden and did a frankly amazing job. This is essentially that Just Puddings dynamic, but taken one step further, in that Ed tells James what to eat. And then he gives him some other orders. And it’s pretty great. The end!
The Real Thing, by sevenfists. Men’s Hockey RPF, Evgeni Malkin/Sidney Crosby.
Look, I had to.
A quick background for people who didn’t get subjected to nine million drafts of my Sid/Geno stories (or to those who did but have blissfully had the whole thing wiped from their memories): Sid and Geno play for a hockey team called the Penguins! They are different people who work together amazingly well! Sid’s very controlled and incredibly superstitious, which actually makes him sound like a mashup of Kevin Durant and Ryan Bergara, but that is a horrible thought and I am never going to think it again. (Sorry to inflict it on you, but if I go back to delete it, I might read it, and that would mean I have a permanent -1 on my saves against psychic damage.) Anyway, Sid was predicted to be a superstar from childhood, raised to be a superstar from childhood, and became, you guessed it, a hockey superstar. Meanwhile, Geno, also a hockey superstar, is more relaxed, more funny, and more freewheeling, and also you do get the sense that he is an actual human when he talks. (Sidney had a personality on/off switch installed by Hockey Canada, as required by Canadian law.) Together, they work well when they shouldn’t.
But this fic, though. This is Sid and Geno not working well together off the ice (at first)! Which I deeply enjoy. And also it has the greatest, most horrifying central concept: you can be visited by your past self. And the thing is, uh. I would honestly rather have oral surgery than spend any time with teenaged me. (Although she’d probably be pretty happy to know that life has worked out well for me so far, something she absolutely didn’t expect.) There are just some mirrors we should not have to look into, basically. But in this one, Sid has to. And Geno has to deal with two Sids, which is more than anyone should have to, especially when one of them has decided to go full jailbait sexpot.
I tell you what, though: younger Sid is an absolute brat in this, and I’m so happy for him every time I read it. Go live your best life, young Sid! Make your own future self’s life harder! It’s for the best! Also it’s fun.
So: angst, two Sids, time travel fuckery -- I genuinely don’t know what else you could possibly want. I definitely do not want more than this. (Not true. I will take a hundred more things exactly like this, thanks.)
Like That Ring I Never Won, by nahco3. Men’s Basketball RPF, Kevin Durant/Russell Westbrook.
Let me fill you in on the big drama here. Kevin and Russell were the core of the OKC Thunder for years, and they were this weird duo that shouldn’t have worked but somehow did. (Russell is all fashion and style and wild, on and off the court. KD (his nickname, which I sometimes enjoy calling him because due to overexposure to Canadians, I think for a second about Kraft Dinner, a thing he would never, ever eat) is pure control, all about discipline.) They were close! They loved each other! They were stars! But they never quite had the right team behind them to get a championship. Then Kevin’s contract was up, and the question was -- would he re-sign with OKC to stay with Russell?
Friends, he did not. He went to go win championships with the Golden State Warriors and left Russell alone and losing in OKC. Russell, when it was his turn to move on, chose the Houston Rockets. (There wasn’t room for him on the Warriors anyway.) And my heart broke, just a tiny bit. Because they were so great together and it was very sad.
So what this is is fix-it fic for real life. I love it because it’s got all the pining and all the yearning and also it has James Harden, Meddlesome Best Friend, living his best life by absolutely destroying Kevin Durant’s. Plus, Russell Westbrook gets to be happy, which is all I really want from this pairing. (No, that’s a lie. I want them both to be happy. Together. Which this fic delivers.)
I’m Gonna Keep You in Love with Me (for a While), by beethechange. Buzzfeed: Unsolved, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej.
The deal here is that Ryan and Shane had a successful Buzzfeed show in which, uh, Ryan told Shane ghost stories and then they explored various “haunted” locations. (No hauntings were ever observed.) Ryan is the big-eyed believer in all things paranormal, and also, uh, all things. Shane is the mostly skeptic trying and failing, because it’s literally impossible, to convince Ryan that there are simpler explanations than “a goat demon is infesting this bridge.” (Don’t ask.)
No, really. This whole show concept is way more entertaining than it sounds, mostly because Ryan absolutely loses it any time they’re on location, so you have Shane trying to sleep in a bed in a haunted hotel and Ryan next to him, truly and perfectly high on fear, unable to blink or think. But it’s also entertaining because of their dynamic, because they fuck with each other and are good friends and have A+ banter. (You may have seen them in such notable gifs and memes as “hey there, demons, it’s me, ya boi” and “I’ve connected the dots.” Seriously good banter.)
So, yeah, the key unsolved question of the canon is obviously “what if they woke up married?” and that is something beethechange asks and answers extremely well in this fic. It has everything you want from a woke up married fic: panic, unfortunate Instagram posts, awkward conversations with friends and coworkers, awkward bed-sharing, and, of course, true love forever (eventually). And, given that we’re talking about Ryan and Shane here, also truly amazing banter. It is what I want! All the time! Honestly just the best.
Learn to Beg and Learn to Say Please, by likecharity. British Comedy RPF, Ed Gamble/James Acaster.
These are two British comedians who have a podcast together about food, where James is the magic genie server (the word “server” is used advisedly here; James gives off a Certain Vibe, by which I mean “he toured the country with a show that involved him kneeling for the first chunk of it, because I guess he’s just more comfortable on his knees?”) and Ed is the nominal normal adult (he is in fact barely managing the “adult” half of that phrase), and their guests order their perfect meal. (Which is then described at length, so it can either be an absolute sensory delight, or it can be Joe Thomas telling the world’s longest story about how he failed to roast a lamb and it was gross, because Joe Thomas is Not Like the Other Large-Eyed Waifs and may not even be human.)
They -- we’re back to James and Ed now -- also have a YouTube show together called Just Puddings, where Ed, a type one diabetic, tells James, a confirmed sugar lover, what desserts to eat for him. Yes, that’s how they phrase it. I have to think that Ed, at least, is fully aware of how that sounds, but he definitely does not give a fuck. And James certainly likes being told what to do and what to eat! Which is just a normal thing that everyone enjoys! Right?
So clearly there was an identified need to investigate this whole situation. Like. Someone had to get to the bottom (and also the top) of it all. And likecharity took on that burden and did a frankly amazing job. This is essentially that Just Puddings dynamic, but taken one step further, in that Ed tells James what to eat. And then he gives him some other orders. And it’s pretty great. The end!
The Real Thing, by sevenfists. Men’s Hockey RPF, Evgeni Malkin/Sidney Crosby.
Look, I had to.
A quick background for people who didn’t get subjected to nine million drafts of my Sid/Geno stories (or to those who did but have blissfully had the whole thing wiped from their memories): Sid and Geno play for a hockey team called the Penguins! They are different people who work together amazingly well! Sid’s very controlled and incredibly superstitious, which actually makes him sound like a mashup of Kevin Durant and Ryan Bergara, but that is a horrible thought and I am never going to think it again. (Sorry to inflict it on you, but if I go back to delete it, I might read it, and that would mean I have a permanent -1 on my saves against psychic damage.) Anyway, Sid was predicted to be a superstar from childhood, raised to be a superstar from childhood, and became, you guessed it, a hockey superstar. Meanwhile, Geno, also a hockey superstar, is more relaxed, more funny, and more freewheeling, and also you do get the sense that he is an actual human when he talks. (Sidney had a personality on/off switch installed by Hockey Canada, as required by Canadian law.) Together, they work well when they shouldn’t.
But this fic, though. This is Sid and Geno not working well together off the ice (at first)! Which I deeply enjoy. And also it has the greatest, most horrifying central concept: you can be visited by your past self. And the thing is, uh. I would honestly rather have oral surgery than spend any time with teenaged me. (Although she’d probably be pretty happy to know that life has worked out well for me so far, something she absolutely didn’t expect.) There are just some mirrors we should not have to look into, basically. But in this one, Sid has to. And Geno has to deal with two Sids, which is more than anyone should have to, especially when one of them has decided to go full jailbait sexpot.
I tell you what, though: younger Sid is an absolute brat in this, and I’m so happy for him every time I read it. Go live your best life, young Sid! Make your own future self’s life harder! It’s for the best! Also it’s fun.
So: angst, two Sids, time travel fuckery -- I genuinely don’t know what else you could possibly want. I definitely do not want more than this. (Not true. I will take a hundred more things exactly like this, thanks.)
no subject
(also because faces are how faces are, and this icon is super tiny anyway: this icon is Ryan and Shane giggling because of course.)