Slashy Nominations 103: I Wonder What Fool It Was That First Invented Kissing

[thefourthvine]

Don't like the title? I do, but I can see how you might think it's a bit off-message for a recommendations set celebrating kissing. But I had a hideous time thinking of anything to put up there, and even after I resorted to searching, everything I found had, well, unfortunate overtones. I seriously considered "like kissing God," even though that was about drug addiction. I also flirted with "with eyes that saw not, I kissed her," (I'd have changed the "her" to "him," of course), but, well, if you know that one, you'll see why I refrained; I love the first part of that one, but the last bit makes me alternately recoil and hiss. (I freely admit that this may be an idiosyncratic reaction.) Plus, you know, the girl he's kissing is his daughter, which, in this context - ew.

So instead I went with sarcasm about kissing. It had a certain appeal.

Best FF That Shows Us That There Are Bad Habits, and Then There Are Very, Very Good Ones. Unplanned, by Beth H., aka bethbethbeth. Due South, Ray Kowalski/Benton Fraser. For some reason, stories that don't use kissing as just a quick stop on the road to hot kinky sex seem to be more common in big fandoms. I think maybe in small fandoms there's too much tension; the writers are thinking, shit, if I don't get them fucking, who will? Whereas in larger fandoms people can have a certain confidence that if they don't get to the 69-while-hanging-from-a-chandelier* part, someone else will. This story doesn't get to the inverted oral sex, but I think you'll agree that it doesn't need to. I've loved this for a long time, had it in the recs database for a long time, but watching the canon made it so much better. Because the thing is, lots of times the guys looked like they were about to do this, like this is exactly what would happen if they forgot themselves for a second. They acted like a couple, so much so that there were scenes that seemed to end just before Ray and Fraser casually, coolly, and calmly stuck their tongues in each other's mouths. (And, yes, I will eventually stop trying to make everyone watch the dS canon. But those of you who have been here for a while may remember the SN Siege, when I had Obsessive-Compulsive SN Recommending Disorder for a month. This may be like that. Just warning y'all.)

Best FF That Will Make You Clutch Your Gum and Your Porn to Your Bosom, So Be Careful; No One Likes Sticky Porn. Things to Get Arrested For in Singapore, by shrift. Sports Night, Dan Rydell/Casey McCall. Choosing this one was tough; SN has so many excellent kissing stories. But in the end, I had to go with this one, because it's just so Danny to do this; he's one of the very few people, real or imaginary, who can be annoying and adorable at the same time. (Mind you, dogs do this effortlessly pretty much all the time. It's only people who usually can't manage it.) Shrift sees this. She gets this. Which is why I love her dearly even though I cannot look at her name without wanting to re-read The Phantom Tollbooth. Or it's one of the reasons, anyway; there are many reasons to love Shrift, just as there are many reasons to love this story. (Yes, fine, I know that was a lame transition. If you can think of something better, let me know.) I love the structure of this story, how you go through the day following this recurring theme (or, hey, trope). It feels almost like an episode, with lots of snappy, funny dialog and a surprisingly touching conclusion. Plus there's random information about Singapore. How could I not love it? I couldn't. And you should join me in this love.

Best FF That Demonstrates the Deleterious Effect Confessions of Cannibalistic Urges Can Have on Your Sleeping Arrangements, So You Wannabe Cannibals Should Think Before You Speak. Or Not. Definitely Not If You're Sharing My Bed. Kryptonite, by mimesere. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Oz "I've Forgotten His Real First Name Again" Osbourne/Xander "I Do Remember His But I Never Can Bring Myself to Use It" Harris. I have a weakness for Oz, that lycanthropic sayer of the strangest right things in the fewest possible words. But the thing that makes me love him makes him hard to write. (I suspect that the canon writers took him out of the show so that they wouldn't have to think so hard all the time.) Which means that a story like this one, where Oz sounds like Oz - I will go a long way for such a story. I will read Oz/Buffy for that. (I'd even consider Oz/Dawn, although I'd have to punish myself for Bad Bad Thoughts afterward.) Which makes it all the more wonderful that I didn't have to go anywhere unfortunate for "Kryptonite" - this is one of my favorite BtVS pairings, right here. I think we can all rejoice about Oz/Xander sex. And we can be happy about the length of this story, too; it's surprisingly long for an "only a kiss" piece. Note, particularly, the last segment - look at how much Mimesere manages to convey in such a short and seemingly trivial piece of writing, how much she manages to suggest without showing a thing. That is perfect, folks, a perfect ending, and not an easy thing to write. Be amazed.

Best Slash FF Featuring Entirely Chaste Behavior on the Part of All Participants. Or As Chaste As These Guys Ever Get. Nesting Place, by destina. Master and Commander, Stephen Maturin/Jack Aubrey. This is very non-explicit, and what I like about it is how well it illustrates a certain thing about the M&C books. Because, OK, there's one part of one sentence in this story that Patrick O'Brian would never have written (at least as far as we know, although, let's face it, we don't know much about the guy - he could've been writing all manner of Age of Sail gay sex scenes in the privacy of his home, and, god, I'd love to live in a universe where he did); if you take that itty bitty part out, this whole thing, including the kiss, could've come directly from the books. Jack and Stephen are that close. Which makes the books so slashy they almost transcend slashiness. Reading them, I generally get the feeling the O'Brian was just being reticent and polite and eliding the sex parts. (Which, yes, I'm sure would mortify the guy if he was still alive. I'm reporting how I feel, not what I think, OK?) But I'm more with the nosy and the details and the smut, so I like Destina's approach, which is writing like O'Brian minus the gallant, respectful courtesy.

-Footnote-

* Is it wrong that I can see - well, no, but hear - this happening?

"I can't take this much longer. All the blood's rushing to my head."
"Whine whine whine. You think I'm happy? I got the world's worst wedgie, here."
"So cut the fucking cord already."
"Yeah, right. You like toast? You wanna be toast? 'Cause that's what'll happen if we fall."
"Jesus. Just - feeling really light-headed, here. Can't you die like this?"
"I'm not dying with my face two inches from some jackass's crotch, thanks." [thoughtful pause] "Huh. So, you really uncomfortable down there?"
"I told you, I'm dying -" [zzzzzzt] "What - oh. Oh. Oh Jesus God."
"Mmmm."
"Yes. Yes. Yes - oh no you shit don't you fucking dare stop."
"So. More comfy now? A little less blood pooling in your head?"
"No! I'm not more comfortable! Go back to what you were doing!"
"Maybe I would if you put that mouth to some use besides whining."
[pause]
"Yeah, sure, OK." [zzzzt] "Mmmmm."

And I refuse to say what fandom that was in on the grounds that it may - no, would - incriminate me. It wasn't any of the ones recommended above, though; I'll tell you that for free. Now allow me to slink off in shame for even thinking, let alone actually transcribing, this.

Comments

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

I don't think it could be self-delusion that this is significant

Oh, good.

I also think it's relevant that the first book (in which there is a discussion of this very topic) was published in 1970. I'm not personally familiar with the mores of the times, and definitely not familiar with British mores from then, but I don't think there'd have been much in the way of pressure to be politically correct in re: homosexuality. In other words (because I know I'm not making much sense - I have a fever and a whole bunch of medication zipping around my bloodstream right now), I don't think his firm adherence to the tolerant end of the spectrum can be attributed to cultural revisionism. Especially given that he was already, what, 56 at that point? It seems like this must be mostly his personal opinion, rather than a reflection of common standards and beliefs.

Anyway, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who sees significance in all this.

[semielliptical]

I see what you mean - I think you were making sense despite your fever! (Hope you're feeling better, btw.) O'Brian was a cool guy, and I wish he had been around a bit longer.

Somewhat unrelated - have you ever thought of doing a set of recs focused on a naval/military theme? I was wondering how many fics are out there that try to make the hot sex fit into the reality of military life.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Well, the key thing with any recs set is the number of potential fandoms or stories in the set - I try to have four different fandoms and four different authors in every set. Offhand, I can think of four for a military one:

SG-1. (There are quite a few good stories that at least mention the whole Jack's-in-the-military thing, and several that actually deal with the consequences of Jack a) fucking a man who is b) one of his direct reports while c) they both must need some kind of security clearance for the jobs they do.)

TS. (There's only a few stories that would qualify, but Jim was in the Army, after all, and I've a read a few slash stories set during that time of his life; I wonder if I bookmarked any of them, though. Could be tough.)

HH. (Well, obviously.)

M&C. (Again, obviously, although I've noticed a tendency in both of the major Age of Sail fandoms to sort of gloss over the whole Articles of War/sodomy/court-martial/death thing.)

I suppose I could also tentatively include PotC stories that involve Norrington. And - hee! - Illiad and Odyssey stories, for a totally different look at being gay in the military.

Hmmm. I've got an Air Force, an Army, and three or four Navies. I need something about Marines. (Norrington, given his post, probably should've been a Marine, but he obviously isn't.)

And, oh, I just thought of a good title: It's a Great Place to Start. Well, I mean, it's the obvious title, isn't it?

Damn. I might have to do this one. Especially if you have any further suggestions for fandoms or FF.

(P.S. I also wish PO'B had been around longer, but the man was born in (I think) 1914 and died in (I think) 2000, so he did have a nice long run. I just wish he'd started writing earlier.)

[semielliptical]

I've noticed a tendency in both of the major Age of Sail fandoms to sort of gloss over the whole Articles of war/sodomy/court-martial/death thing.

Yeah - hot, loud sex on a ship can be fun, but also doesn't feel that real. One of shalott's M&C fics - The Undiscovered Ocean, I think - has that great conversation where Stephen tells Jack that the only way they can have sex is to do it regularly, quickly, and silently, and talking about it that way is hot in a completely different way.

Illiad and Odyssey stories, for a totally different look at being gay in the military.

Yes! Though I can't think of any, unfortunately.

I need something about Marines.

Hmm...Marines...do you read X-Files? I think Skinner was a Marine. It's been years since I read XF fic regularly, but I might be able to come up with some good Skinner fics that reference his past. Maybe Doggett was a Marine, too...I can't remember.

Yet another Army fandom is Band of Brothers, which I have just gotten into. General, dein Tank ist ein starker Wagen is a rather hot blowjob by sabine101 that I think is accessible even if you're not familiar with the fandom. It seems realistic to me, though a blowjob in a tent not far from the front line probably isn't.