thefourthvine | Slashy Nominations 130: Things Fall Apart. But Sometimes the Center Still Holds.

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Slashy Nominations 130: Things Fall Apart. But Sometimes the Center Still Holds.

I...wow. I really haven't been updating much at all, have I? I just - sometimes life sucks, and then I go below the radar here. But I still love you all. And this time, at least, I've been paying some attention to what's been going on. By which I mean, of course, that I have been reading (and mercilessly organizing) FF. I have thirty sets neatly boxed up and ready to go and dozens more that are only missing one story - and that's just cataloged fic. You do not want to know what my uncatalogued list looks like. But this, as I remind myself, is a good thing.

What I'm saying is - sometimes you (not you specifically) have to, you know, go away for a while. I think we've all experienced that, right? Hurts but it's necessary. And the thing is, it makes getting back together so very wonderful. Would I have all these nifty packaged sets if I'd not gone on an interminable hiatus? No. Would you love me less if I was setless? Possibly. Do we not, instead, love each other truly and deeply? Well, I love you, and if you don't love me, I will sulk and make the Doe Eyes of Sorrow and maybe cry some, so my advice is: lie.

Um. Can I just start that paragraph over? And make it - I know, shock - slightly less about me? Or at least, less about my raving lunatic side?

Take two: to celebrate my reunion with the active side of fandom, I bring you stories about breaking up.

No, no, wait. These are breakup stories that don't hurt. (Like ouchless Band-Aids, except these are actually ouchless.) The breakup happens, but the story keeps going - or sometimes starts - and it leads not to sorrow but to a joyous (re)union, complete with foot-stomping finale and the whole cast (yes, both of them) on stage, and then everyone takes a bow and goes off for wild sex. Or, um. I meant cast party - wild cast party. Although, you know, thinking about it, there's not really as much difference there as you'd hope.

Best FF That Really, Really Makes Me Want to See the Remedial Version. With the Puppets. And That's Amazing, Given How Infrequently I Find the Occasion to Say, "Gee, I Wish My Life Had More Puppets." My Big Breakup, by Sabine, aka

iamsab. Scrubs, John "J.D." Dorian/Perry Cox. Okay, first things first: the author says, in her note, that if you have not seen Scrubs, this story won't work for you. She is wrong. In fact, every Scrubs story I've read - and, seriously, I've been searching frantically for the stuff* - has worked perfectly for me, despite the fact that I know so little about this fandom that I had to look up the full names of the slashed characters to write this summary, and I spent the first portion of this story trying to figure out precisely what J.D.'s job was. (He's a doctor. Although, seriously, he could be the guy who wears the Goofy suit at Disneyland for all I know of him.) Doesn't matter. When Scrubs writers hit the voice and the tone right, it's gorgeously surreal and delightfully funny and surprisingly involving. Also? J.D. apparently narrates every Scrubs story ever written, and there is a reason, my friends: he has the best voice ever. He's, like, a conduit of pure crack comedy. I - seriously, I love this guy, and we've never even met. So, what happens in this story? Well, okay, check out the theme of this set and the title of the story and take a wild guess. Yep. J.D. breaks up with someone. Someone he didn't even realize he was, you know, that way with. Which, when that happens in real life? Embarrassing, folks. But in Scrubs-land, okay, it is also a little bit embarrassing**, but then it leads to the glorious reunion scene. And, even better, it's a reunion scene in which both parties are finally more or less on the same page. For these two, that must actually be kind of a disturbing experience, but: yay! Which is what this story will make you say. (To translate into Buffyese: it brings the yay.)

Best FF in Which John Is a Bit of an Ass and Gets - No. That Was Going to a Bad Place, So Let Me Just Say: Best FF That Will Forever Change the Way You Look at Scarves. And People Who Give Them to You. #435, the Atlantis Local Stitch 'n' Bitch Chapter, by

rageprufrock. Stargate: Atlantis. SGA is the fandom of torture for me, lately; it has so many fabulous stories for nearly every category on my list (and yet it's entirely absent from a few of them, which is weird) that choosing just one is nearly impossible. Also, and I think I've mentioned this before, pure agony, so you should pity me. But in this case, it was easy, even though there's a solid boodle of great breakup stories in SGA, because this story has the funniest breakup ever. I don't want to spoil it for you or anything, so I can't go into detail, but I had to put my head down on my keyboard for a while after reading it. It's that good. And the best part is that I can totally see John doing that. Totally. Like, it plays out like a movie in my head, and that? Is totally a movie I would buy on DVD twice, in case I played the first one so much it wore out. Because that's what I do with that scene when I'm down; I read it over and over and over, and it makes everything better. This, people, is the breakup that heals. And I'm afraid if I type anything else here, I'll start describing it, probably with extravagant hand gestures that a) you all won't be able to see and b) that will take my fingers off the keyboard for large portions of my sentences, and then this whole post really will be gibberish, so, you know. Just read it. Be sure not to have any liquids nearby.

Best FF That Proves That You Can Get Lex Luthor to Do Anything If You Just Make It Difficult Enough. The Pragmatist, by

nifra_idril. Smallville, Clark Kent/Lex Luthor. Well, I could hardly let a breaking-up-to-get-together set go by without including something about Lex and Clark, could I? Look, don't argue with me. I couldn't. Or, okay, I could have, but I would never have felt clean again. Because, see, I like my Clark and Lex best in the future, and then there's that whole - well, let's just say unpleasantness - to deal with. I don't do well with stories that end with said unpleasantness; I have a tendency to snap at them, "Look, if I wanted this, I'd be watching the canon." And then I have to go find some independent small retailers to crush or mad scientists to hire, because, seriously, the unpleasantness makes me want to go all Lionel on the world. I know OTPing is out of fashion these days, but Lex and Clark go together. They do. So one excellent solution for me - and, of course, for the many good and noble regimes I would doubtless overturn if I went to the Lionel side - can be found in stories that, cleverly, start after the unpleasantness, and go right for the careful, hesitant, but clearly predestined reunion. And even in that delightful cadre, this story stands out. It's gorgeous and evocative and true to character - and that's tough, drawing an accurate picture of characters so far into the future, after so many changes, after they've grown up - and, really, it makes me want to whip out the adjectives only New York Times reviewers are allowed to use. So I'll just note that this has the best ever reason for Lex reuniting with Clark, explained in a bit that makes me want to send

nifra_idril email filled with nothing but exclamation points. Go read this, and find it. And then you can send her the exclamation points, and I can get on with my - um, not-Lioneling.

Best FF That Has Sex, and Squid, but Not Squid Sex. Which, Given the Fandom, Thank God.*** Every Day I Love You Less, by V, aka

deepsix. Ocean's 11 (And can I get some input on that? I mean, are we calling it Oceanverse now, or is it still just Ocean's 11?), Rusty Ryan/Danny Ocean. I once told

musesfool that the most slashy thing about Ocean's 11 is that Danny always comes back to Rusty. Always. What I love about this story is that in it, Danny does just that - and, seriously, that's one of my big criteria for good O11 FF, that the rubber band connecting them be invisible but highgly operational - and then we realize that Rusty's done it, too. In short: this is a story about how the rubber band goes both ways. And I very much support equal opportunity rubber banding. Plus, this story features three breakups - all of which happen off-screen and prior to the start of the story - which makes it a total curve-breaker in the extensive, important class of Unsad FF That Could Be Called 'Breaking up Is Hard to Do.' And let me just note that there are many fandoms in which any story that started with the premise that two main characters had ended their canonical marriages would totally suck, but in this canon, the girls are pretty much...no. No, I am not even finishing that sentence. It was going to feature a terrible, hideous, horrible metaphor involving scabs. I'm not going there. Ew. I've got some class left. So let me just revert to classic story summary form and then get the hell out of here before I break any more brains: This is a good story. It has breakups. And a getting-together. And squid. You should totally read it. Good night.

-Footnotes-

* Where is all the Scrubs FF, people? How can there not be a giant archive devoted to this fandom? Is there one and I just can't find it? Help me out, before I end up requesting a fandom I've never even seen for Yuletide.

** For reasons unknown, most of the stories in this fandom don't trigger my embarrassment squick, mostly because they all seem to be taking place pretty much entirely in J.D.'s overheated brain. But this tendency of J.D. to do embarrassing things is why you won't see me watching the canon. It might very well hurt me. Irreparably.

*** Yes, it is a sign of hideous moral degeneration that there are so very many fandoms that I think would be improved by an infusion of squid sex. Probably you should defriend me now, before I start recommending - um. You know, I can't actually think of anything more shameful than some of the stuff I've already loved and recommended. I'm open to suggestions, though.

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Wow. There's O11 fic out there? THANK YOU!

I have some good news for you, because there's lots of good FF in this fandom. There's so much that O11 can't even qualify for Yuletide this year. I've recommended a bunch of it (http://www.livejournal.com/users/thefourthvine/tag/oceanverse) (check out the ones on my old O11 FIHL post especially; although I've found many fabulous stories in this fandom, the first one I ever read remains my favorite), for it is one of my most beloved fandoms. And then there's - there's whole communities. Check out, for example, the stories that resulted from

takethehouse, which were just - wow. And then - no, seriously, come back to me if you're still O11 hungry after that, and I will still have more recs for you.

It is a delightful fandom.

*sighs happily*

My Big Breakup, by Sabine, aka iamsab. Scrubs, John "J.D." Dorian/Perry Cox.

Oh, my God, thank you for that. I had no idea it existed, and it is amazing. You know, I read your recs all the time because they're so cleverly expressed and informative, but I think this might possibly be the first time you ever recced something in a fandom I know the first thing about. Now I know why I kept reading them. *g*

Ooh. Yuletide. Yes. And you need to watch this show.

Considering all the joy your vids have given me over the years, I am delighted to have found a fandom we have in common. Even if it is so tiny as to be officially microscopic.

But, wait. Didn't you write that really good Spike/Angel story a while ago? That's a fandom we share!

(And we sort of have another one, even if I don't rec in it. Your Kirk/Spock essay did major damage to my vaunted disinterest in all things Trekkish. I actually watched an episode. And it is, seriously, at least 80% your fault. (The rest of the blame goes to Cim for the insanely slashy screencaps.) Also? You were, if anything, understating the slash in that particular ep. Holy cow.)

...Spike/Angel story a while ago? That's a fandom we share!

Ah, excellent! Yes, that is my current newest and shiniest obsession. Well, except for the other new and shiny obsessions. *coff* More A/S recs always desperately desired and greatly appreciated. :-) (And thanks for the compliment!)

I'm thrilled to hear that you gave ST:TOS a try. It's sort of like it should be a foundational course for all slash fans, you know? Or maybe for all fans, period. You don't have to choose it as a major or anything, but you need at least an online survey course. But now I have to ask, which episode was it? *g*

There is nothing wrong with squid sex. Or just plain tenticle porn. And if you have done a tenticle porn set, please tell me, because that would be a tragic thing to miss.

Nope, never did a whole squid sex recs set. But I've written tentacle porn. Or co-written it, anyway;

makesmewannadie did all the good bits.

Because one day

lynnmonster said to me, "What dS is really lacking, as a fandom, is crossover tentacle porn."

And I said, "Hey, yeah! You're right!"

Hmmm. I wonder, now that you have me thinking about it, if I have enough fics for a tentacle set? It's not one of my categories, but. Hmmm.

And since

thefourthvine is entirely too proper to tell you where to find the fabulous crossover tentacle pron, I will be more than happy to direct you to it, as befits my status as Procurator General:

The Cetacean Situation (http://www.livejournal.com/users/littera_abactor/2701.html#cutid1)

I mean, of course, TENTACLE PORN.

*headdesk*

Atlantis is crying out for some squid sex. It could happen annually, and they could place bets on how long it would last for. It could be a seasonal holiday native to Altantis, much like the Melbourne Cup¹ is for Australia (or at least Melbourne)!
...SGA has broken my brain.

¹It's a horse race, known as 'the race that stops a nation'. Only, in this case, the orgasm that stops an ancient alien city. Yes.

Anyway. Less with the crack (I'm writing a 2000 word essay on Orlando, and I've got 2300 words and am not yet done. It's broken my brain. *cries*) and more with my actual point - for me, the SGA break up story that immediately came into my head was Oblivious (http://www.livejournal.com/users/astolat/84169.html?style=mine) by

astolat. Hmm. Not sure where I'm going with this. The whole thing's just random. I, uh. I think I'll go now.

Atlantis is crying out for some squid sex.

There's been some. Also some tentacle porn. But I agree that there should be more. Tentacles need love too!

...SGA has broken my brain.

Right there with you. Right there with you. You don't want to know what unfinished horrors lurk on my flash drive right now. Right now, the fandom's only defense against insanity is that I never actually finish anything. Especially not the really cracked-out stuff.

for me, the SGA break up story that immediately came into my head was Oblivious by astolat.

Oh, Oblivious. It is a wonderful story, and I'm definitely going to rec it. (Probably sometime after everyone else has; I was never going to be first, so I might as well be last and catch a new wave of fans.) And, god, you're right, it's a fabulous not-sad breakup story. I wonder why I don't have it filed under that category? (Though I totally stand by my current rec, too. That breakup scene killed me. Almost literally; should never have read it on a bad asthma day.)

*departs to inspect recs database very closely*

*and probably re-read Oblivious, because - seriously, shouldn't we all?*

There's been some. Also some tentacle porn. But I agree that there should be more. Tentacles need love too!
Wait. There's been some? Where?

And can I get some input on that? I mean, are we calling it Oceanverse now, or is it still just Ocean's 11

I still call it O11 because it's easier to type, but I guess we could call it Oceanverse.

I think it's pretty much up to us, you know? Nobody else is gonna take it on.

And wait, hold on, not qualifying for yuletide? Since when? Where? There aren't even like 200 stories in the fandom that I'm aware of...

Um. I'm probably wrong about that, then. I thought I saw the name while browsing through the Yuletide cut list, is all. But I was kind of on fandom overload - after a while in the Yuletide archive, every fandom sounds sort of familiar, but not really. And now I can't find it on the cut list post. So, you know, I'm probably wrong about that.

I've kind of avoided reading the whole discussion, because some of the decisions have made my head hurt, but if there's some unknown cache of O11 fic out there I haven't seen that's disqualifying it from yuletide, I need to know.

I just looked, and there's not even an Ocean's 11 (or 12) listing on ff.net, so I think it's pretty safely obscure.

True. I am, apparently, going to use all of them interchangeably. But I still use O11 for my fandom abbreviation. It's sleek. It's interesting. It is only three letters long.

Plus, Oceanverse has a weirdly SGA ring to it. Or, you know, whichever other fandoms are mostly to do with the sea.

Yeah, I think maybe O11 to label stories for me, but Oceanverse when talking about the universe itself... "female characters in the the Oceanverse..."

Plus, Oceanverse has a weirdly SGA ring to it.

I think, given how SGA has eaten most of Fandom-at-Large, everything has a SGA ring to it to many people.

Ooooh. Scrubs is my Holy Grail of fandom. It's like... well, there's nothing like it. Ever. I watched every episode of Scrubs in just a few days, and my brain was JD for about a week.

Quick Scrubs Run Down From A Devoted Fan:

Premise: Half hour sitcom based in a hospital, focusing on JD and friends and colleagues. JD, Turk and Elliot start out in the hospital as interns - JD's inner monologue is the voice over, and some of the best eps are when he tags the other characters and we see the world from their point of view. Very funny humour - a mix of dry wit and slap stick. Also has the occasional incredibly teary/poignant moment. Each episode usually comes with a moral to the story.

JD: Often flashes to weird fantasy sequences. He is terribly goofy and embarrassing, and would be unwatchable except for Zach Braff, who pulls it off with the type of sweet charm that I want to impregnate me. He's a mixed up boy.

Turk: JD's best friend and roommate since college. He's what JD isn't - cool, kinda suave, with a bit of an ego. Hooked up with Carla early in the show, and he dances a lot.

Elliot: Neurotic and blonde, doing the 'woman in a man's world' bit. A love interest of JD. I don't like her much, but meh.

Carla: Street-smart nurse who is good friends with Dr Cox and is essentially the straight man. She's kinda disturbed by the best-friends-forever love between JD and Turk.

Dr Cox: Angry, cynical man prone to long rants. Really long rants. He's JD's mentor, he can't stand authority and messes up badly whenever he actually tries to show someone ::couJDgh:: he cares.

Janitor: Apparently lives for tormenting JD and crushing on Elliot.

Other Characters: Dr Kelso is the money grubbing, egomaniacal head of the hospital, Ted is the suicidal hospital lawyer, Todd is a surgeon jock who hits on anything with breasts, Jordan is Dr Cox's ex-wife and Doug is the worst doctor EVER.

The Gay: There is so much gay in this show it's scary. I mean, there's the weird love between JD and Turk, which always leads to the gay puns thrown in for laughs. But then, there's the whole JD/Dr Cox subtext which is so gay it makes me wibble. There's the whole mentor/protegee thing, the fact that Dr Cox tries so hard to push JD away, which only intensifies JD's desperation for approval, the girl's names... I can't even begin to describe all the slashy vibes that come off this show. I mean, it's the most gay show I've seen. It's so gay it's easy to ignore the het canon. In fact, the het canon kind of helps seems as JD and Dr Cox are so bad with women you just KNOW it's because they really just want to get naughty in on-call room...

/tangent.

Fandom: There's so little fanfic it hurts. I've been working on the one story for months. But then, it's an incredibly hard fandom to write, because capturing anything less than JD's brilliant inner monologue would probably condemn me to eternity in hell.

There's an LJ community [Unknown site tag] which has links for most of the available fic I've seen. And if you can be bothered wading through the crap, there's some decent stuff on Fanfiction.net.

My Spiders From Mars (http://www.mandysbitch.com/fic/myspiders.htm) by mandysbitch is one of the absolute best fics in this fandom - funny and true to the characters.

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, most of the episode titles start with "My...", which is why most of the fanfic titles do too.

I love Scrubs.

Also, it's late and I'm a moron and now most of that post is in bold. Like, awesome!

Bold or not, it is extremely welcome. Like I said, I'm not the world's foremost Scrubs expert. Or even this block's. You have increased my Scrubs knowledge at least tenfold! Plus I got a rec. So, really, this is an excellent comment, and it has rendered my love for you even more intense and immense.

A few queries: Is the show over? Also, what was the name of that LJ community? Desperate Scrubs fic seekers need to know these things. Not that I am, you know. Desperate. Exactly.

And you realize that I am salivating at the thought of your unfinished Scrubs fic, right? I'm...I'm twitching, here. Also making the Doe Eyes of Mingled Hope and Sorrow. If you could see me, you would weep. Um. Except that I am also wearing a silly hat, which kind of decreases the pathos a bit, so maybe it's best to just imagine it.

Is the show over? Also, what was the name of that LJ community? Desperate Scrubs fic seekers need to know these things. Not that I am, you know. Desperate. Exactly.

Nooo, it's not over. I think it's gone into season 5. Or will be starting season 5 soon. I'm not sure. I rely on bribing my man with coffee and sexy knickers to get him to download shows I want. And I just got Arrested Development, so I need to go shopping before I work on a new series...

And um, I'm completely brain dead at LJ codes, so if the following code

scrubsfic doesn't show up, the community is called scrubsfic. There's some good stuff, some bad.

And you realize that I am salivating at the thought of your unfinished Scrubs fic, right? I'm...I'm twitching, here. Also making the Doe Eyes of Mingled Hope and Sorrow. If you could see me, you would weep. Um. Except that I am also wearing a silly hat, which kind of decreases the pathos a bit, so maybe it's best to just imagine it.

I'm imagining... now. Oh lord, close those Doe Eyes! It hurts! Pull the hat down!

It's umm... mostly finished. I think [Unknown site tag] agreed to beta about six months ago when I thought that writing JD would be a breeze, and I'm going to finish it. Right after I fail this semester...

Sigh. That's supposed to be

mandybitch for beta.

Dead brain...

think [me] agreed to beta about six months ago when I thought that writing JD would be a breeze, and I'm going to finish it. Right after I fail this semester...

Hey - I remember that... will still do it if you like.

Oh - and a handful of Scrubs recs (http://www.mirrordance.net/recs/scrubs.html) here.

Oh God, not the Doe Eyes of Sorrow! Put those things away!

Uh... what categories is SGA missing from?

*off to read*

Dude. WATCH SCRUBS. The show itself is maybe one of the gayest things I've ever seen. Highlights include: J.D. telling Turk that he "misses [him] so much it hurts sometimes," (and that's in the FIRST EPISODE) Dr. Cox and his best friend (played by the fantastic Brendan Fraser) playing Gay Chicken, J.D. making Barbies of him and Cox kiss each other--I'm pretty sure I didn't imagine that one--J.D. and Turk going on a "man date," Dr. Cox going for a ride on the back of J.D.'s scooter (yes, scooter)--and so much more.

I just bought the first season, and it seriously is one of the best shows out there, even minus the gayness. Yeah, there's some embarrassing moments (and I have an embarrasment squick like you wouldn't believe), but there're also the ones where I fall out of my chair laughing and ones where I burst into tears. If I had to compare this show to something, it would probably be Sports Night, despite the completely different styles, because of the way they both seemlessly blend comedy and drama. Oh, and the reason no one writes Scrubs fic? Is that *no one in fandom watches it,* so don't you think you should be setting a good example? Hm?

(I oculd probably burn you DVDs, too. You know. If you were interested. =P)

YOU MUST WATCH SCRUBS.

That is all.

So what I want to know is how do you come up with the categories for your rec sets?

I would never miss an opportunity to hop on the "You must watch Scrubs" train. It's the show that makes me wanna be a better person. I'd compare it to Northern Exposure, but I hear that won't work for you either. *g* So how about I just say it's one of two comedies I'll watch on purpose and it makes me cry more than most dramas do.

* Where is all the Scrubs FF, people? How can there not be a giant archive devoted to this fandom? That's what I have been asking for years. This show deserves so much more than the paltry dozen or so fics in existence.

and also, just in case you didn't catch it from earlier commenters, you should totally watch Scrubs when it comes back in January. Each episode is candy-coated crack with a splash of heart. It's so good.

Thanks for the rec!

(I'd completely forgotten that there was squid in that story. So reading this, I was like, I wrote a story with squid? WHAT? I DID WHAT?... oh wait, I did. *g*)

Also? J.D. apparently narrates every Scrubs story ever written, and there is a reason, my friends: he has the best voice ever. He's, like, a conduit of pure crack comedy.

Also, it's *canon*. Every Scrubs episode is narrated by J.D. through internal monologues and voiceovers. How can you have a Scrubs fic without at least one surreal delusion from JD's mind?

There's Scrubs fic! Really good Scrubs fic! How did I not know this? Dude. Seriously, if ever I have a firstborn child, you can have 'em if only for that.

SGA totally needs squid sex of some kind, incidentally. You're so right. I'm also absolutely waiting for the "Atlantis gets jealous of people getting with John and so persuades/zaps Rodney into acting as the ultimate cockblock" fic which somebody had better be writing right now, dangit.

Oh, and also, just more recs makes up for the big break, but also, uh, good luck and suchlike.

Just another, "Watch Scrubs! WATCH!" vote. I, too, have a horrible embarrassment squick, but Scrubs tends not to actually hit it, I find because it's too busy also being CRACKTASTICALLY HILARIOUS. :)

Thanks for these recs! :)

I love you.

I had not read "Stitch'n'Bitch", but I have now, AFTER having taken SEVERAL breaks so I COULD BREATHE FROM THE LAUGHING.

Sweet god. I must track Pru down now and force her to write things... oh, wait... someone already has...

Pru's moved all her fic recently; S'n'B is now at http://glitterati.talkoncorners.net/fiction/435.html

(I do sincerely hope I'm not being a pest. But everyone should be able to find the good fic, porn or no, right?)

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Slashy Nominations 130: Things Fall Apart. But Sometimes the Center Still Holds.

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