Slashy Nominations 136: Praised Be the Alternate Universe

[thefourthvine]

Some of you may remember - or maybe not; a livejournal generation is only, like, eight days, so we're talking about ancient history, here - when I recommended fan fiction in this space. When I was knee-deep in vids, I swore to myself that those days would come again. It was very dramatic and meaningful, although the pervy LotR vid playing in the background might have detracted from the nobility of the moment slightly. Still, it was Oscar-worthy, and I think there was triumphal music (courtesy of the pervy vid), and you should all be very sorry you missed it.

So. Alternate universes. God, how I love these things.

Best FF That Almost Makes Me Grateful to the DC Folks for Their Persistent Attempts to Reboot Their Universe Until Our Memories Are Completely Wiped of Every Reason Why We Liked Their Comics in the First Place. Almost. Although I Still Reserve the Right to Punch Willingham in the Nose If I Ever Meet Him. Kids' Game, by __marcelo. DC Universe, gen or Jason Todd/Stephanie Brown. You know how the infinite universes theory says that everything happens? Every time you flip a coin, a new universe forms, all that? (Yes, that is an oversimplification. Yes, there's more than one theory about this. Don't even get me started, seriously.) Well, I have long suspected that the DC folks are trying to represent that in their books via reboots; every two years, we have one, and the universes rotate one place to the right. So it's inevitable that sooner or later we'll end up where __marcelo goes here. Only, totally not, but wouldn't it be cool if we did? No more of this deal where we add three years to this character and then subtract them from that character and then pretend a whole bunch of other characters never existed. I mean, there's a reason I don't read this stuff anymore: I can't handle all the change. I'm not smart enough to keep up. But if DC did do this with the Batverse characters? I would so, so read it. So what is this mysterious thing that the author has done? (I'm trying for suspense. Are you suspended, yet? Well, fine. I'll keep practicing.) He made them all the same age: Bruce, Dick, Tim, Jason, Steph. And it's just - this story pretty much had me from the opening (is there a universe in which opening with Tim is a bad move?), but it turned into this whole illicit, secret affair when I got to Jason and Steph. Because they work together so much better than Tim and Steph ever did, and also - no. I was about to go to the dolphin-noises place, and you don't need to be here for that. Go. Read. (Eeeeeeee!)

Best FF That Makes Me Add Holmes to the List of Tragic, Cracked Crimefighters. Please Do Not Mention Holmes/Batman or Holmes/Batman/Bond to Me. My Brain Will Explode. Thank You. Out of This Room, by Dorinda (does anyone know if she has an LJ name?). Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson. AUs in rare fandoms are, well, rare; I suppose that if there are only a handful of stories in your fandom, there's not a huge temptation to explore, say, the universe where Holmes is the surgeon and Watson is the detective. But I still want to read that, and a million other ones besides, so I treasure the rare fandom AUs I find. And this one is three in one, so you can imagine all the embarrassing clinging and fawning I do to it. Or maybe you'd better not. This is - okay, it's a brilliant look at some of the possible outcomes of a single canon situation. And can I just say how much I love that? It's kind of a variation of the Five Things That Never Happened story type, and I have a shameful love for those, and also for eigenstate AUs. But combine them - and this story does; it's basically Three Eigenstates We Didn't Observe in This Universe - and you have hit me square in the possibility kink. (I want to see all possibilities fully elaborated. This is one of the reasons I love fan fiction so much; you can find stories featuring all the possibilities and many of the impossibilities, too.) Plus, this story persuades me. See, Holmes is one of those fandoms where I'm handicapped by knowing the canon and, worse, having formed opinions about it long before I ever knew of fan fiction. So it's hard for me to buy Holmes/Watson, because it's hard for me to picture Holmes ever doing anything as messy and human as that. Dorinda, though - she writes Holmes precisely as I have always believed him to be. And then she gives me a Watson I am happy to accept, and it's Watson who makes the happy ending here a real possibility. So my reaction to this story is basically many inarticulate variations on the theme of wow. To wit: wow.

Best FF That Makes Me Really, Really Want to Learn How to Make Paper. A Heart for Every Fate and Wild, by destina. Stargate: SG-1, Jack O'Neill/Daniel Jackson. Okay, you're all familiar with the broccoli test, right? Some of my favorite pairings pass it, some don't. Many would know broccoli was wanted, but flatly refuse to get it. (I like 'em prickly and difficult, apparently.) Jack and Daniel might pass, although I think the refusing to get it thing would come into play with them. (Jack, for example, would know Daniel wanted broccoli, but he'd pretend he didn't. He'd come back with something seriously lame and stupid, like a lawn chair and three boxes of tampons, and then sit back to appreciate Daniel's expression when he saw them.) In any case, my point is, in this story (Yay! We're back to talking about the story!), Jack and Daniel pass the desert island test, which is much more stringent. (Since I just made it up, I suppose it's unreasonable to expect you to know what the desert island test is, so - if two people can spend the rest of their lives trapped alone together with no entertainment or distractions or conveniences, and at the end of thirty years they're both alive and as sane as they ever were? They pass.) I've often said that lost-earth (either it's gone, or they can't get to it) stories are not sad endings in SG1, and, as Destina proves here, neither is the desert island scenario. The obvious ending for a story like this is, "Yay! They're improbably rescued shortly after they find true love and hot sex!" I in no way object to that, not at all. But I love Destina for doing the brave thing here, skipping the deus ex machina and showing that, really, for some pairings, the desert island is a happy ending. And for writing this so damn well. Don't miss the sequel, either, which is basically an elaboration of the happiness of the ending, perfect for those of us who need a lot of reassurance.

Best FF That Makes Me Wonder, for What Has to Be the 80th Time, What the Hell Ginger Tea Is, and Why Everyone Drinks It but Me. The Convenient Husband, part one and part two, by Brighid, aka brighidestone. Stargate: Atlantis, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay. I'm sure those of you who somehow managed to miss this story can still tell it's from the Harlequin challenge, just from the title. (Those of you who weren't in the fandom for the Harlequin challenge - uh, it's a romance novel type thingie, and also, you are in for some amazing reading.) And that's one of the things I love about this story: it's just, it feels perfectly in line with the challenge. Perfectly. (And, seriously, I tried to think of something to write for that challenge, and I totally failed. It's not as easy as it sounds. Of course, it didn't help that my first thought, on seeing it, was that some sick, deluded soul in the SGA fandom wanted a bunch of flash fiction about jesters in masks. I was flat terrified, and had to click away to preserve my remaining sanity. I only figured out the truth some little while later.) I also love this story because I realized, reading it, that John and Rodney are the most portable characters ever. It's hard to think of an AU where they wouldn't fit. King Arthur's court? They fit! The Tokugawa Shogunate? They fit! McCaffrey-esque telepathic soul-bonding dragons? They fit! (I suspect, though, that Rodney would be a dragon in that AU. John would be his rider, of course. Chaya would be a queen, and Rodney would never ever let John mate with her.) Citizen Kane? Unfortunately, they fit there, too. (There are limits. I mean, John might end up as the sled, and also, no.) I just - I love that, and I love it especially when John and Rodney are so perfectly themselves, no matter where they are. They're definitely themselves in Brighid's story. (Don't ask yourself how anyone could consider marriage to Rodney McKay convenient. We already know John has no instinct for self-preservation.)

Best FF That Suggests That Unfortunate Things Will Happen to Those of Us Who Don't Answer Our Telephones. But I Don't Care; Those Things Are Incarnations of the One True Evil, and No One Can Tell Me Different. Last Will and Testament, by Speranza, aka cesperanza. Stargate: Atlantis, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay. This one is a bonus because, okay, look - if, by some chance, you don't know about it, go read it right now. All other commentary is going behind a cut tag, and please please please do not click on this cut tag until you've read it, okay? There's a spoiler that could possibly actually spoil the story for you, and that would be sad, but it's the only thing anyone ever wants to talk about with this story, so I'm putting it behind the cut.

It's only those who have already read the story who are here with me now, yes? Okay, then I don't even need to tell you what the One Thing is about this story. I will say, though, that what I find most interesting (and, upon reflection, vaguely disturbing) about the story isn't that, and it isn't anything that I've seen discussed anywhere. Although I will admit I didn't, like, seek out meta on this, and I wasn't reading much of my friends list when this story was posted, so it probably was discussed everywhere and I missed it. Feel free to give me links or little lectures about the importance of paying attention, okay?

But, see - does anyone think that the weirdest part is actually that John is so much like his father, even down to looks, and Rodney is so much like his mother that they are, in essence, marrying the parent who raised them? I think a lot of us do that, to a certain extent, but the whole, uh, consanguinity just, well, really drives that home for me. I spent the last half of the story braced for the hideous news that Rodney had killed his father; I was terrified that Speranza had misunderstood a challenge she herself posted and, instead of writing a Harlequin, she'd redone a classic plot. (I figured that John was probably the one who would end up blind. Um, yeah, not my best work of ending-prediction ever.)

So, okay, it didn't go the Oedipus route - and, seriously, thank god for that. Which leaves me pondering the incest itself. Normally, incest is an unbreakable squick for me. But this story works because the brotherly relationship was never the main one in my mind. I apparently assigns values partly by primacy, and my hindbrain gives primacy to what I know first. And in the story, the sex came first, so that's the relationship I'm invested in, and then - wham! incest! - and suddenly I'm complicit in it, because I'm rooting for it. (From this, we can clearly see that Speranza is also a manifestation of the One True Evil, although she's way better than telephones.) The other thing I've seen discussed is the realism (or not) of this story, but to me, that's a non-issue; the whole essence of a Harlequin - and, again, this is just me - is that the writer defines the reality, and I have no expectations at all. It's totally not like crack, where I expect no realism at all in the premise and plot, and total realism in the characterization. (Harlequin challenges: freeing writers from the ties that bind them to any specific level of reality! That makes them sound like really good drugs, and, wow, they so totally are.)

Comments

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Or those of her son. Really. Writing a series is not like owning a family buisness.

Oh my god. She lets her kid write FF for her stuff? He can joint the illustrious ranks of Christopher Tolkien and Christopher Rice, then. Ew.

And, no, I haven't read her latest books. I - I'm not strong. I doubt I could stand the strain.

Actually, I've been seeing a lot of SGA/Pern ideas floating around. Obviously this is an idea whose time has come.

Really? Where? (Uh. Once again I've been skipping reading the ol' friends list. Time is a cruel mistress.)

*looks at plot bunny with renewed interest*

Write it write it write it write it!

*passes you plot bunny*

Or you could just end up with S'ppard.

*winces* It's like a pairing portmanteau, yet even worse.

Although, really, I think it'd be Sh'pard. Which is no better and possibly worse. I think I'll stick with F'jon for the moment. But thanks for the information; I have used it. I made Caldwell C'ldwell in some snippet or other, though, and is it just me or does it seem like the version of him with the elided vowell would be a total bastard?

[dzurlady.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. She lets her kid write FF for her stuff?
They, uh. Wrote one together. As a kind of handover. And now he's writing them on his own, as part of the series. And, yes, he really likes the universe and he's done reference books and all that, but - no. It's just wrong. Also the book I read was kinda crap (the protagonist appeared to be the hero, until like the very end of the book when suddenly everything shifted around it was kinda like the plot fell out from beneath me as I read). Maybe he does better on his own. I should go to the library and get one of his solo ones (one? no idea how many he's done), in the name of research. *quails slightly*

*winces* It's like a pairing portmanteau, yet even worse. Although, really, I think it'd be Sh'pard. Which is no better and possibly worse. I think I'll stick with F'jon for the moment.
*cries* It really, really is.

But thanks for the information; I have used it. I made Caldwell C'ldwell in some snippet or other, though, and is it just me or does it seem like the version of him with the elided vowell would be a total bastard?
Hmm. Well, I'm all for Caldwell not being a bastard in fic, but - he seems popular as a villain, and there is *always* some utter bastard involved in these sorts of things, so - most probably.

Really? Where?
Umm. Well – there’s some of it here (http://fledge.livejournal.com/90290.html), and I have seen more of it, but can I now find it? Of course not. *eyeroll*
I find it especially amusing because when I first got the plot bunny I was all like "This is just too cracked out, even for SGA," and then suddenly I saw several other people talking about it. And everyone seems to have come up with it independently. I love this fandom.

Write it write it write it write it!
Unfortunately it is not very crossovery - basically, Rodney accidentally Impresses a fire lizard; wacky hijinks ensue. I think I shall write it, just because it's so much fun; whether it ever sees the light of livejournal is another matter.

Still, I was thinking about the idea - clearly, Sam would be a gold dragon, and Rodney would be totally smitten. Unfortunately she would already be mated with the dragon/rider pair of Jack and Daniel. I'm not sure who her rider would be, though.

Also - Rodney and F'jon's Impression would, possibly, happen something like this:

[dzurlady.livejournal.com]

As long as he could remember, John has lived in the Weyr. He'd been fostered there at a young age - so young that he can't even remember his parents, although he'll tell anyone who asks that the dragons more that makes up for it. All he's ever wanted is to be a dragon rider. In his free time, he climbs up the sides of the Weyr and watches the dragons and their riders doing drills, and imagines flying high and fast and fighting Thread, imagines shooting through the air on his dragon (always a bronze, although he tells himself that a brown, or a blue, or even a green would be fine, he would be happy with whatever he got) and shooting tongues of flame before pivoting away.

So when he finally gets chosen to stand on the Hatching ground, even though he tries to pretend that it's no big deal, under the surface he's a bundle of excitement and tension because, wow, soon he'll have a dragon; and yet (and he only lets himself think this late at night, when he can't get to sleep) what if for some horrible reason he's left standing there when all the dragons have hatched and chosen someone else, and all that’s left are the empty shells?

When they are taken out onto the sand for the Hatching, the great queen curled protectively around her clutch, his glance flickers from one egg to another, the sound of dragons thrumming rattling his bones, setting a counterpoint to the beating of his heart, which seems to be trying to hatch its way out of his chest. The first egg shatters, and the noise from the crowd swells as the tip of a blue nose appears, glistening slightly. The boys around him jostle against each other as more and more eggs begin to split and shatter, dragonets hatching two and three at a time now, and around him he can hear soft gasps and voices raised in delight, joyfully shouting out the names of their new dragons. The boy next to him is down on his knees, fingers clumsy with excitement brushing shards of eggshell from a blue dragonet as it croons with pleasure at his touch; just in front of them both another boy drops to his knees to welcome the brown staggering clumsily but determinedly towards them. John is shaking now, hands trembling as the orderly group around him gives way to the chaos of Impression.

It is then that a soft sound draws his attention, his whole body suddenly tensed and leaning towards the gentle snap of breaking shell. With an indigent squawk, the shell splits fully and disgorges a bronze dragon in a messy tumble. He shakes his head once before awkwardly staggering to his feet, half turning, and sets off with great determination towards John. John takes a half step forward, unable to hear anything now over the noise of the blood in his ears, and then his legs give way and he falls to his knees on the hot sand. He has a moment to stare at the dragonet as it weaves towards him, long delicate wings slightly lifted from the body, a moment that seems to stretch impossibly before suddenly the bronze reaches him, overshoots slightly and stumbles against him, and he reaches down to steady -
"Rodney!" The cry comes up from his heart to his throat and bursts free. "His name is Rodney!"

[dzurlady.livejournal.com]

John runs a shaking hand along the gently curved body, gaze fixed on the gently spinning eyes. He’s beautiful, perfect, the most fantastic dragon ever to have hatched.
Of course I am, Rodney says. Are you just going to sit there all day, or are you going to feed me? I'm *starving* - who knows what lasting damage might be done to me if I don't eat soon? His eyes began whirring faster, changing colour in response to his rising stress.
“Hey, hey,” John says. “Relax. There’s plenty of food, shh, we’ll get some soon, everything will be *fine*.” Almost instinctively, he moves his hand up onto Rodney’s head, begins to scratch the ridges above his eyes. Rodney’s wings flutter back to his sides, and his eyes slow again.
Oh, he says. That’s nice. How did you-? Oh, oh, and my back, too, you have no *idea* how cramped I’ve been in there, all curled up, I’m amazed I can walk at all, to tell you the truth – hey, hey, did I tell you that you could stop scratching me yet?
John looks down at Rodney, leaning trustingly against him, and he can’t help but laugh in delighted triumph. He’s a dragon rider, a bronze rider, and nothing can hold him - can hold them back now.

[chalcopyrite.livejournal.com]

Yes! My brain went straight to how *itchy* growing dragons get, and immediately Rodney was all, "No, left, left, *other* left, yeah right there, no, *there*, no, down a bit, hey, don't stop!" And yet, I suspect he would make a disturbingly adorable and klutzy dragonet.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

And, yes, he really likes the universe and he's done reference books and all that, but - no. It's just wrong.

It really, really is. I mean, come on, Child of Anne McCaffrey. If you can write, surely you can write something else to prove your chops and get some experience under your belt. And if you can't, which is my suspicion, why are you ruining a series you claim to love?

I should go to the library and get one of his solo ones (one? no idea how many he's done), in the name of research. *quails slightly*

*is awed by the courage and fortitude displayed in your willingness even to contemplate such an action*

Hmm. Well, I'm all for Caldwell not being a bastard in fic, but - he seems popular as a villain, and there is *always* some utter bastard involved in these sorts of things, so - most probably.

See, I have issues with the way Caldwell is displayed in fic - well, I mean, I'm the person who wanted him as the military commander of Atlantis in the second season, so obviously I don't see him as Colonel Bad Guy - but one thing I've found about writing fusions is that the universe dictates the disposition of the more minor characters. Like, there's one that I'm writing in which almost every character except John and Rodney comes off as much, much more unprincipled or bad or just plain annoying than in the canon. And - I like those characters, but those are the roles, so what can I do?

Which is all a long-winded way of saying: yeah, you're right about that; in that universe, someone has to be Lord High Right Bastard, and it can't be any of the Genii (who are obviously a different weyr - maybe a southern one?), so it's going to need to be someone like Caldwell.

And everyone seems to have come up with it independently. I love this fandom.

*beams*

I know. It is the most wonderful place ever; our crack output alone could entertain the entire population of several small countries for years. Admittedly, they'd have to have a highly gay porn oriented citizenry, but still.

Unfortunately it is not very crossovery - basically, Rodney accidentally Impresses a fire lizard; wacky hijinks ensue. I think I shall write it, just because it's so much fun; whether it ever sees the light of livejournal is another matter.

Yes! Write it! And even if it does not see the light of LJ, it should totally see the light of me. Because I am harmless. And also, I want to read it. Like, a lot.

I'm not sure who her rider would be, though.

Janet? She's the only other strong female I can think of in that fandom, and Janet would make an excellent rider. (She could still have an adopted daughter named Cassie. She'd be the only survivor of a tragic destruction-by-Thread of her entire village, or something.) Also, Sam/Janet is a common pairing, so - it works in parallel, too.

[djinanna.livejournal.com]

The Genii would have to be a Hold, not another Weyr. Holds were where the farmers (and bad-guy politicos) are - and they hold the purse-strings on the Weyrs in the form of food and other supplies that are supposed to be given in tribute so the Weyrs can concentrate on fighting Thread ... and that's where the aristocracy - the Lord Holders - come from. And there is much corruption. Oh, and stodgy prejudicial-ness, as the Holders consider the Weyr folk to be kinda loose and immoral and shocking (all that S. E. X. and stuff). And so on.

signed

Another Victim of Pern-icious Brain Stuffing