Con Report Part 1: Wherein TFV Learns Valuable Lessons

[thefourthvine]

Oh my god. Vividcon.

Yes, I have thinky thoughts to post here (including ones on Where This Journal Is Going), but I just got back from the most social weekend of my life (no, I am really not kidding) and now I'm getting some kind of plague. Coherence isn't going to be happening today. This is just my wow report, plus a few notes that I may forget as normal life returns.

Right now, though, I'm going to get out whatever reactions I can manage while being grimly stalked by a dog who apparently cannot believe that I left her again, despite her clear indication that she prefers me to be present at all times, ideally with food on hand. The last time I left her (in the excellent care of Best Beloved, let me note - this dog is not abused, no matter what she may tell you; she is a filthy, filthy liar) this resulted in serious sweet potato action. God only knows what the price will be this time. (I threw away the lone sweet potato we had before I left for VVC. Fool me twice, shame on me.)

So. I had a blast and I'm planning to go back if I possibly can, which - look. For all you fans who have been saying, "I am not a con person," there's a lesson here, and it is: if I can go to a con and have fun, maybe you can, too. It's worth considering. I am not the Fan Least Likely To, but I am very nearly that person, and I went. I had fun. I'm still capable of typing in mostly complete sentences. I am living proof that people who don't have social skills can still have good cons!

I'm not going to talk about who I met; I'd leave people out. But I do want to thank all the people who talked to me - you made the con work for me, seriously, because one thing I should have mentioned is that I lack the ability to start a conversation unless I have a direct question to ask. (No, really, do not say, "Just say hello!" Trust me, this is not useful advice in my case.) And I really want to thank the concom for inviting me, and being so nice to me. And, you know, all of VVC for being awesome. And, um - I'm getting sniffly. I mean, more sniffly. (I wasn't kidding when I said I was sick.) I probably need to stop before I'm openly weeping and clutching my con DVDs to my bosom, which might void their warranty.

Actually, I can't clutch my con DVDs to my bosom, as I've been re-watching them pretty obsessively, so there will probably be a Vids from VVC post coming up, likely long after everyone else has posted theirs.

In the meantime, here are nine things I learned at VVC.

1. There is no good way to explain to outsiders what, precisely, Vividcon is. Attempts to try will end in heartbreak, and that's even if you're not currently sitting next to a missionary singing for your soul in Korean. (True story. You don't want to know.) Three conversations that prove this:
   
   At the Airport on the Way There:
   Person who has been scrutinizing my t-shirt: Viv-id-con. What's that?
   Me: It's a convention about fan-made music videos.
   [Pause]
   Person: *gets up and moves to a different chair about 15 feet further from me, as though I had said, "It's a gathering of people with highly contagious fungal diseases"*
   
   Checking into the Hotel:
   Checker-in person: So, you're here for...vivid dot com? Is that what it is?
   Me: Vividcon.
   Checker-in person: Right. All the girls together.
   Me: Well, it's actually - see - okay, yes.
   
   (This was the concept all the hotel employees seemed to carry away from it, actually: lots of female-type persons, together. The hotel shuttle driver said, "Was that the party with all the dancing ladies?" Spinelessly, I agreed. There were ladies, there was dancing: close enough. Plus, I liked the mental image this gave me. The hotel employee who asked me why there weren't any men at our party was a bit more of a problem. "There are," I said. "No, there aren't," he said. I did not say, "Then I nominate you to deliver the bad news to some people who genuinely seem to believe that they're guys," but in retrospect I should've. Or maybe just posted a note on the con suite board: "Hey guys, you're girls. Just FYI!"
   
   After a while, I found myself wondering if the men attending the golf course managers' convention I once shared a hotel with - and, seriously, if you get to pick, I would not recommend golf course managers as party fun time companions - got remembered mostly as "the group with all the men." (I myself remember them as "the convention of guys you could pick out at fifty paces because a) they wore clothes that most people would don only as penance for something really bad, like maybe killing their father and marrying their mother, and even then lots of people would probably choose to put their eyes out instead, and b) they all hit on me." Keep in mind that I was 16 at the time.))
   
   On the Airplane Home:
   Woman next to me: So you went to Chicago and you stayed near the airport and you didn't leave the hotel? Why?
   Me: I was at a convention. It was in the hotel. I was busy.
   Man in the aisle seat: There are lots of things to do in Chicago, you know.
   Me: Well, yes, I'm sure, but I was there for a convention, and -
   Man: What kind of convention?
   Me, warily: A fan-made music video convention.
   [Long pause.]
   Man, trying to sound upbeat: There are lots of great things to do in Chicago! Museums, the aquarium, art, you name it. Lots of heritage stuff, too.
   Woman, apparently helping to sell the argument: There's shopping, eating, clubs - incredible. You can have a lot of fun in Chicago.
   Me, quietly: I had a really good time.
   [Another pause.]
   Woman, obviously trying to be kind: Next time, honey, just stay downtown.
   
   Lesson learned from this: Next time, I'm going to tell people I'm going to Chicago for a lesbian sex party.
   
   
2. There is nothing quite like watching vids in the company of large groups of people. I seriously wish I had a recording of the room as people watched Another Sunday, by jescaflowne. (I also wish I had a recording of everyone around me muttering, "barkley, oh my god, that's so obviously barkley" during one of the challenge vids. And, oh, lots of other things.) If you ever have the chance to go to a vidshow, go. Just for that.
   
   Lesson learned from this: I'm going back to VVC. Oh, yes, I so totally am. (Someone remind me I said this next year, please.)
   
   
3. If you have hair that requires any kind of maintenance at all, by the second day of the con, you will have Con Hair. (Also known as "Oh, fuck it" hair.) Sensible people shave their heads prior to cons; those of us who can't do that just have to bring lots of ponytail holders and hairsticks. I suspect this is why they do Club Vivid on the first night, when we're all still capable of dressing up nicely.
   
   Lesson learned from this: Next time, when my clothes should fit again, I'm dressing up for Club Vivid.
   
   
4. Naps are key. Going to a con is sort of like regressing in age a lot: you have snacktime, you have playtime, you spend all day with your friends and having fun, and then suddenly you find yourself deeply cranky and distractible and prone to bursting into tears. This is a sign that you need a nap. Take one. In other words, don't fall into the Disneyland trap, where you convince yourself that this is such a fabulous event that you must, must, must see and do absolutely everything. You can tell the people who think this at Disneyland: they're the parents with the sobbing kids and the couples who aren't speaking to each other. I didn't see anyone crying or fighting viciously at Vividcon, but then, most of us succumbed to the Need to Nap before disaster struck.
   
   Lesson learned from this: Next time, I'm going to try to plan to nap, so I won't feel awful for sleeping through the panel I most wanted to attend. Making a schedule for myself before I left that included where I should be during every moment of the day and yet did not include nap time - um, that wasn't brilliant.
   
   
5. iPods are key. Because, okay, you may think to yourself, "I'll be watching to vids all day! What need will I have for extra music?" And, see, yes, precisely: You'll be watching vids all day. And it is inevitable that the song you like least out of all of them will get stuck in your head. In fact, it will sign a lease on valuable brain space (as in, you may forget your own phone number), settle in, and begin prospecting for a roommate. (You will not like the roommate, either, and you will really hate the mashup of them that appears in your head after they've spent some time together.) Only carefully selected music fully under your control can save you.
   
   Lesson learned from this: Next time, I'm bringing my iPod. Also, I might make a playlist called For the Prevention and Treatment of Earworms. Actually, I might not wait until next VVC to do that.
   
   
6. Cons are noisy. Or, more specifically, large groups of women in small spaces produce a specific kind of noise; conversing over it is an acquired skill. If you talk a lot, don't expect to have a normal voice on the last day of the con.
   
   Lesson learned from this: Bring throat lozenges. Possibly just bring a whole bunch and dump them in the con suite.
   
   
7. Everyone at the con will be smarter, prettier, and more talented than you. Or, to invert that concept, a lot of people are just as intimidated as you are. You will look at people's nametags and swoon. I thought I'd be surrounded by rockstars, and oh, I was. But these rockstars were, mysteriously, very nice to me. A lot of them seemed to know who I was. It was like attending an Oscar party and having people walk up to you and say, "Oh, hi! I like your posts!" (Only without the existential horror that actually being at an Oscar party and having someone say that would produce.)
   
   Lesson learned from this: Vidfans are awesome and surprisingly kind.
   
   
8. In a con of 110 people, it is entirely possible to miss seeing 75% of the people attending. (I suspect this is more true when you spend half of your con time in the dark.) By Sunday, people had begun to doubt my existence; fortunately, I had marycrawford to swear that I a) existed and b) had existed right along. (I mean, at VVC. My mother can swear to my existence over a more protracted period of time.)
   
   Lesson learned from this: Next time, I'm setting up dinners and lunches in advance. I may also look into the purchase of a large light-up hat with glowing letters that spell THEFOURTHVINE.
   
   
9. There is nothing quite as wonderful as the sight of fans having fun. Club Vivid was worth it even for someone medically forbidden to dance at the time (and aesthetically forbidden to dance always), and not just because jarrow272 dressed up in an actual pimp costume with a cape and everything. People were just - really really enjoying themselves. It was amazing, and it makes me smile every time I think of it.
   
   Lesson learned from this: Cons are fun. VVC is fun. And I mean that both in general terms and for me. I <3 VVC forever.

Comments

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

This is a wonderful con report! Woah! Thanks for sharing *still grinning*

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

P.S. Almost unbelievable after your point 1) above, but when I was at the immigration checkup at Washington DC for my Shore Leave con, the woman behind the counter not only said "nice" about the prospect of a fan-run scifi convention, but told me with a smile she had surfed some fanstuff online the night before! W000T! We're everywhere, really.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it! Were you there? Because I'm not entirely sure if this report would be interesting to anyone who wasn't there, but I don't remember meeting you. (If I did, um, sorry! Con-brain.)

[renenet.livejournal.com]

Naps are key. Going to a con is sort of like regressing in age a lot: you have snacktime, you have playtime, you spend all day with your friends and having fun, and then suddenly you find yourself deeply cranky and distractible and prone to bursting into tears. This is a sign that you need a nap. Take one.

OMG, so true! ::dies::

I'm glad you had a good time! Sorry I didn't meet you. Please do come back!

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I didn't meet you, either, although I think I saw you in passing. I remember your badge, anyway. But maybe next time! Yay, VVC!

[charmax.livejournal.com]

I loved reading this and hearing that you had a great time. I also love your dog and the picture that's conjured up right now of the look of her displeasure at you leaving. ♥ *g*

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

My dog is very good at expressing her feelings. Much better than most humans, actually. It's kind of impressive.

I did indeed have a great time. Your CV vids were so awesome, by the way. I especially loved Boogie Wonderland, and, um, so did the crowd - certain shots definitely met with cries of approval.

[qe2.livejournal.com]

For all you fans who have been saying, "I am not a con person," there's a lesson here, and it is: if I can go to a con and have fun, maybe you can, too.

Hah. Yeah. Moi aussi. (Although, as per usual, you said it first and perfectly, thereby saving me the trouble.)

I'm still capable of typing in mostly complete sentences.

Honey: as you will still be capable of typing in mostly complete sentences (and alternately breaking my heart and making me weep with laughter at them) when you are no longer on this planet, this proves not much.

before I'm openly weeping and clutching my con DVDs to my bosom, which might void their warranty.

Or trigger it. Remember, these are con DVDs we're talking about.

Next time, I'm going to tell people I'm going to Chicago for a lesbian sex party.

Depending on the con - and the rooming arrangements - that's not far wrong sometimes :-).

(You will not like the roommate, either, and you will really hate the mashup of them that appears in your head after they've spent some time together.)

AHAHAHA. *weeps aforementioned tears of laughter* Man, I so want a mash-up from you now.

So incredibly with you on the naps point (though sleeping at night is also recommended - remind me to tell you about the Muskrat Jamboree night I spent "sleeping" in my rental car) and the uselessness of "just saying hello".

Also: *GLOMPS*

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Hah. Yeah. Moi aussi.

Oh my god, I think of you as such the perfect person to go to a con with. I cannot believe you'd say you're not a con person! (Although that may be why I think of you as the perfect con companion.)

this proves not much

You should've seen my correspondence with the strangefandom mods, right after I'd had surgery. I was *definitely* not making sense then or writing complete sentences, although I still managed to communicate the all-important "no buttsex in front of jealous witches" rule. (It's amazing how many people don't know that one. Do they not teach safer sex in schools these days?)

Or trigger it. Remember, these are con DVDs we're talking about.

Well, but I think if I emailed absolutedestiny and said, "Um, I wept so much I kind of broke my con DVDs. I can has more DVDs, pls?" he'd shoot me.

Depending on the con - and the rooming arrangements - that's not far wrong sometimes

Very true. As Jackie K. said above, everyone has her own experience of VVC. I just figure, why not get that out there on the table? I'm pretty sure it's what some of the hotel staff was thinking. (Although VVC didn't have nearly as much rampant making-out as MJ sounded like it did. Unless I was just excluded from it. Maybe no one wants to make out with me? *clings to BB, who still does*)

Man, I so want a mash-up from you now.

You do NOT want the mashups that appear in my head. They are made of evil.

My family has a long tradition of forgetting the lyrics to things. There's a traditional Christmas song from my father's (i.e., the not Jewish) side of the family that goes, "Oh, the weather outside is ta-da/Ta-da-da, da-da, da-da-da/Ta da-da-da-da-da-da-da/Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow," for example. I seem to have expanded on this by a) replacing random words or words I forget with "puppy" and "dog," which are of course key to singing to dogs, and b) mixing up songs. So, for example, I often sing a song that goes, "Sometimes it's hard to be a woman/Giving all your love to just one man/Some people claim that there's a woman to blame/But I know it's my own damn fault." Or I sing, "Sometimes it's hard to be a puppy/Giving all your love to just one food/Some people claim that there's a Greyhound to blame/But I know it's just kibble's fault."

My point is: you don't want my mashups. I sure don't.

the Muskrat Jamboree night I spent "sleeping" in my rental car

...Am I allowed to ask why? Because I am now really curious.

Also: *GLOMPS*

*GLOMPS* back. I'm so glad you're around a bit more! It's been making me very happy to see you posting. *many, many hugs*

[sanj.livejournal.com]

Oh, YAY. I'm so glad you had a good time and want to go back!!

Not only because, yay, you had a good time, but also because I didn't make it this year, and therefore you have to come back so I can meet you in person. :)

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Oh, most definitely. Next year in Chicago! It's totally like "Next year in Jerusalem," except how it's entirely different.

[30toseoul.livejournal.com]

That is AWESOME. I'm so glad you had a blast!

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

It was tons of fun! (And I'm glad you're back in communication, post-horse-adventure. Until we lose you to the Pole. Wah.)

[fan-eunice.livejournal.com]

YAY you're coming back next year! I am so glad you had a good time, and sad I did not get to have shy breakfast with you! It made me very happy to get to stand with you for a little while and talk Peanuts holiday specials at Club Vivid though :). Best. Con. Ever. *squishes you*

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

It was indeed an awesome con, and I'm glad you survived having your vid first in Premieres. (Isn't it good to get it over with, though?) And your fuzzy head was awesome and very glittery.

Next year: shy breakfast. (This year, I was too shy to go to breakfast with anyone; I took a book instead.)

*squishes back*

[cupidsbow.livejournal.com]

I'm so envious, but I'm glad you had such a great time.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

I'd say you should so totally come, but, well, you're kinda far away. Um. marycrawford came from The Hague this year, so maybe someday you can come, too?

In the meantime, OMG, download the vids. MADE OF AWESOME. The SGA ones should especially make you happy. (They did me.)

[winter-elf.livejournal.com]

*laughs so hard* Yea, I've given up trying to explain cons to mundanes. Even my mom.

mom-'So you're going to San Francisco for a Con? What kind of Con?'
me-'yaoi con'
mom-'what's that'
me-'anime convention'
mom-'oh, okay (in that, not getting it voice) have fun'.

When I get back it's, 'so what did you do in San Franciso'.
me-'I was at a convention'
them-'so what did you DO?'
me-'I was AT A CONVENTION'.

:::sigh:::

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

*sighs with you*

Yeah, there really is no point in explaining. Especially to strangers. (I actually did explain this one to my mother, but it's possible she was just smiling and nodding. My family tends to do that a lot with me.)

[nestra.livejournal.com]

HA, I got to meet you first. The airport shuttle was kind to me this year.

I'm glad you had a good time.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

And thank you so much for coming up to me! It was awesome to meet you, and you kept showing up and saying nice things to me throughout the con. It was wonderful.

Hope you had a good time, too.

[lapillus]

I'm so very glad you had fun! I'm also very glad that you volunteered to help on tech since it meant I actually got to talk to you :)

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

I am so totally bribing Shoshanna for another tech setup job next time, since it is easily the best job at the con. (Does bribery work on her? Must investigate this.) It was lots of fun! And I'm glad I got to talk to you, too, and hear about your treasure trove of audiovisual technology.

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

It was good to meet you after reading your LJ posts for so long.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

It was good to meet you, too. Wish we could've talked more!

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

I'm SO GLAD you had a good time, I knew you would, and now I am massively jealous and yearning. It sounds so awesome.

[jarrow.livejournal.com]

"Then I nominate you to deliver the bad news to some people who genuinely seem to believe that they're guys," but in retrospect I should've. Or maybe just posted a note on the con suite board: "Hey guys, you're girls. Just FYI!"

Oh my god. [!!!] As a guy who used to be a girl, that would have been THE FUNNIEST THING EVER.

you convince yourself that this is such a fabulous event that you must, must, must see and do absolutely everything

Hi, that is SO TOTALLY ME. And it usually works! (It did this time!) You know, until I broke down for 3 hours Sunday night. \o/

And you mentioned me! *blushes* Aren't you the sweetest. I'm sorry I did not get to dance with you! The pimp will ride again next year, fear not.

It was so great to meet you, and I'm sorry we didn't get to talk more! But it pleases me greatly to see that you had such a fantastic time and want to go back. I'm right there with you :-)

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

I'm so pleased that you had a good time. I was very excited to meet you, I just wish I had been able to put together more coherent sentences. Next year I promise to have a paragraph prepared! Or at least a few words. Either way.

[anoel.livejournal.com]

It was so awesome to get to meet you! I only wish I could have spent more time with you but that's cons for you. Your conversations with people are priceless although disappointing that people don't recognize the love that is Vividcon. YES for Another Sunday. A huge part of going to vidshows is the audience and that vid was made for it. If only you had seen the LKBV show last year! Your lessons really are too true. I still swoon at all the nametags I see. And Club Vivid really is love and so happy and fun *happy sigh*

Yay for you coming back! VVC IS love.

[elynross.livejournal.com]

I'm so very, very glad you had an awesome time! Do come back, maybe next year I'll schedule myself for fewer naps, a shorter stressed-out time, and some actual conversation with people I would like to converse with...

[shrieking-ell.livejournal.com]

1) Ummm...hi...I'm Ell...found your LJ by way of wyomingnot and am now stalking my way through it randomly and laughing hysterically, tagging fic to read and generally upsetting the cat.

2)Lesson learned from this: Next time, I'm going to tell people I'm going to Chicago for a lesbian sex party.
a) Try going to a con in Vegas and explaining to anyone that, no, you didn't gamble in the casinos. At all.
b) Wait. You mean cons are not supposed to be all about the girl!sex?

3)you are akin to the best crack supplier ever with the recs. really. this is like Christmas :-)

[it-mightbe-love.livejournal.com]

haha! Hi (this is what happens when a person stalks a journal like I stalk yours) I never comment, though i think I might have at some point for you. But other than that yes--

Music is key to cons, i attended a Star Wars convention last year (I was dressed up like a twi'lek. Lots of blue and leather, it was awesome) and if you think trying to explain to a mundane about a vidcon is difficult?

Try explaining why a reasonably attractive nineteen year old is at a convention for star wars geeks.