I wanna know what love is; I want you to show me.

[thefourthvine]

Older fandoms, you confuse me so. The story I'm reading right now has piercing gazes, searing gazes, cuddling, comforting, lengthy descriptions of eyes that change color (Green! Hazel! Gold! No, I'm not kidding - really, gold, and this isn't the right fandom for him to have been implanted with a Goa'uld.), marriage proposals, men of action sharing their feelings in astonishing detail and with great (sometimes searing) honesty, a guy telling another guy how beautiful he is, holding hands, kissing, and two adult men (of action!) with extensive disposable incomes living together and sharing a bed.

And it's gen.*

I am patiently waiting for the mutual declarations of eternal love while hugging (or crying; I'd totally take crying) in the rain. Then, and only then, will I be able to stop reading.

So, does anyone have a story from an older fandom to recommend to me? You people have mostly been at this longer than me - surely you've got some nice gen or slash story favorite from a pre-LJ fandom that you could link me to. Gen or slash welcome - especially gen that I can read as gen. Seriously. Save me from myself. And this story. I am just bewildered, here.

-Footnote-

* Another gen story in the same fandom (but by a different person) features a noted canonical horndog turning down NSA sex with a beautiful woman because he's in love with someone else - that someone being, of course, the guy who is his Entirely Not Slashy Totally Hetero Life Partner. (It also had a paragraph about their great and abiding love, and the Totally Hetero Life Partner isn't even in the story. Nor is there any explanation of why the THLP would want his "friend" to turn down the sex - I mean, seriously, it was just presented as "this is what you do when you're in love with your THLP, forswear sex and cleave only unto him, but in a straight and manly way." I guess I am just not straight enough to understand that.) And the author's note contained a diatribe against slash. Oh, my people.

Comments

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU. I AM NOW SCARRED FOR LIFE.

(Also, seriously, Illya has a two-color cock? Is that like a special upgrade or something? And if it is, can you get colors other than rose/ivory?)

[qe2.livejournal.com]

But of course! At the Lands' End of cockage, the dicks du jour also come (...) in seafoam/teal, puce/stucco, salmon/brick, and the ever-popular fog/midnight.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

I'd like mine with a convertible top.

[qe2.livejournal.com]

We're out of stock on those at the moment. Could we interest you in a monogram? Guaranteed to occupy only the fashionable portion of the foreskin...

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

And if I might bring up a somewhat delicate matter - what of sizing? Because I note that in the original example, the size is "tower." Does it, um, come in something smaller?

[qe2.livejournal.com]

But of course.

S

M

L

Tower

Leaning Tower

Architecturally Improbable Tower

Seven-Wonders-of-the-World-Type Tower

Ron Jeremy

Does that help?

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid I must cancel my order, as the image of Ron Jeremy has scared me to the point where I am seriously considering becoming a nun and taking up smarm as a full-time occupation.

[qe2.livejournal.com]

Dear bi-colored-member customer -

Please accept our apologies for your recent traumatisation. We have discontinued the offending sizeation. In the future, we will cap our offerings at the Burgish level. Please advise if this will suit.

Yours truly, Customer (eager)service

[sprat.livejournal.com]

HEEEEEEEE.

[executrix.livejournal.com]

RONON: What's white and twelve inches? Nuthin'.

[qe2.livejournal.com]

Your icon fills me with happiness.