Slashy Nominations 45: They Win That Laugh

[thefourthvine]

I've been wallowing in pathos recently as the result of an ill-advised attempt to watch certain classic movies. Do not trust film classics, people: they will betray you and leave you in dire need of SSRIs. And chocolate.

Fortunately, FF can be trusted. Well, some of it, anyway. The funny stuff, basically. And now I'm passing the humor on to you lot, 'cause let's face it, the last entry was almost as depressing as, say, the first fifteen minutes of Rocky.

Best FF That Will Make You Feel Substantially Better About the Next Professional Convention You Attend: At the Fifteenth Annual Evil Masterminds Convention, by basingstoke. Smallville x Austin Powers, Lex Luthor/Scott Evil. There's just something so wonderful about this whole concept, not to mention hysterical and right; clearly, Scott Evil and Lex Luthor belong together. And there's evil condoms! And explanations of evil parenting techniques! And talk of Robo-Cow! If you've been neglecting your TV or movie watching, fear not - this story works just as well if you're completely clueless about both canons. Oh, and you'll definitely want to read this if you're considering evil as a future career path. I had been, but hearing that evil doesn't sleep in pretty much killed that.

Best FF That Shows Us Precisely What the DC Universe Really Needs: Competent Psychiatrists: The Death Trap of Dr. Nefario, by Benjamin Rosenbaum. DC Universe, gen. This story explores what it'd be like if Dick Grayson had a psychiatrist - and I think we can all agree that by god he needs a psychiatrist. I also think we can all agree that these are precisely the issues he'd be exploring in therapy. I have a documented bias toward therapeutic humor, yes, but how can you not love (and laugh at) a story in which Nightwing simultaneously explores his Bruce Wayne issues and releases himself from a death trap? And, really, this is one of the most accurate portrayals of a therapist I've read in FF.

Best FF That Proves the Basic Usefulness of Whining by Its Very Presence in This LJ: The Missing Jecht Sphere, by Talya Firedancer, fyredancer. Final Fantasy X, Auron/Jecht/Braska. In an earlier entry, I whined pathetically about the absence of A/J/B in my life. The result was not one but two excellent links to stories involving precisely that. Evidently, my parents were wrong: whining does get results. This particular result is funny, though again I think it'd only be funny to those people who already know what a Jecht Sphere is. If you are of that number, read this story at once. And expect more whining in this venue in the future, thanks to makesmewannadie, who rec'd this story, and laylah_r, who rec'd the other one.

Best FF Featuring Authentic Colonial-Period Australian Prints: Port Jackson, by Skud, q_skud_. Master & Commander books, gen. Again, we've got a humor piece you'll need to know the canon to find amusing; in this case, you'll need to have read the first few M&C books. But even if you haven't read any of them, go read this FF; it's the only one I've ever seen told entirely in LJ icons. It's one of the more interesting versions of picfic I've seen, and it's especially appealing to me, the original Icon Loser. (I have icons only through the generosity of others; any icon made by me would incite pity and mockery in equal portions, and, hey, I've already got enough of those.)

Comments

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

My hatred for monkeys (and all primates, and do not tell me I am one; I absolutely refuse to admit any relationship to primates, or in fact most human beings, and in fact I'm fairly sure I'm operated by a ferret collective from the planet Ul) is based on one horrible, horrible class I took in college. (Evolution of homo sapiens, basically.) At one point, it had gotten so bad that I had an honest-to-god allergic reaction - urticaria - every time someone mentioned a primate. And this persisted for years after the class had broken me emotionally and physically and sent me weeping into therapy.

(Why was the class so bad? Here's one tiny extract that sticks in my mind, for obvious reasons.
Professor: Some people claim that humans evolved from insectivores.
[Long pause as professor contacts brain, which is located on a distant planet.]
Professor: But we know this could not be true.
[Longer pause. Best Beloved, who was also in the class with me, and who was an absolute demon about paying attention and taking notes, continues the impressive doodle begun on day four of the class.]
Professor: Because there were no insectivores when the dinosaurs were around.
[Long pause, while everyone in class prays for death.]
Professor: Because there were no insects when the dinosaurs were around, because there were no plants for them to live on.
[Long pause. Professor again attempts to contact brain. Entire class sits up in shock and exchanges frightened glances, which glances essentially say, did I just hear that or am I losing my mind? Several brave souls raise hands, but are ignored, as professor has just managed to uplink to brain and is desperately trying to download PIN and blood type, and, probably, own name.]

The scary part is that the professor was quite respected in her field. Although not, I daresay, by anyone who had taken a class from her. (I understand she'd been a decent teacher and a great researcher before tenure, though.)

But, um, rant aside - I love Richmond Lattimore, too. I have read parts of the new, supposedly way cooler translations, but I care not for them. I care not, I say. I also keep the first Illiad translation I read - Shefter - but more for, you know, sentiment. Plus it's smaller and more totable and fits in my purse.

[norah.livejournal.com]

Eeep. The scary professor would be enough to maybe scar me away from most primates, if not the one true Monkey. And I hear you on the denial about being a part of the human race. For me, right now (I dunno where you are) is v. exacerbated. Being American is shameful these days, as though we are all somehow complicit in the things this administration is perpetrating.

ferret collective

Bwahahahahahahahahaha

*dies*

Love it.

Um, your LJ just appeared pretty recently, so I have to ask,

Where have you been all my [fandom] life?!

Long-lost non-primate sisters in menstruation!