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thefourthvine) wrote2010-04-19 02:53 pm
thefourthvine) wrote2010-04-19 02:53 pm
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Star Wars at the Park
I kind of gave up on Star Wars; I think it was sometime in the middle of Attack of the Clones. I could just feel all my interest drifting away. (Although I still have love for the original series, of course.) But I spend a lot of my time at the park these days, and I tell you what: small children have not given up on Star Wars. The last two times we've been there, I've overheard some truly fascinating examples of - well, in a way, it's like very early fan fiction.
And in a way, it's like stand-up comedy. (Okay, more like run-around comedy. Still.)
The Theological Convictions of Boba Fett
Kid 1: You're Boba Fett!
Boba Fett, agreeably: I'm Boba Fett.
Kid 1: You have to stay Boba Fett all day no matter what.
Boba Fett, nodding: I'm Boba Fett.
Kid 1: And I'm God!
Boba Fett: Then you're dead. God is dead.
God, sounding shocked: God isn't dead.
Boba Fett: God's in heaven, right?
God: ...Right.
Boba Fett, in the tone of one who would say QED if he knew the term: So God is dead.
God, visibly feeling like something is wrong, but unable to put his finger on what: But - but - God is magic!
Boba Fett, confidently: And dead.
The Trouble with Yoda
Boy 1, arriving at play area with tiny girl in tow, sounding glum: My mom says we have to let her play.
Boy 2: I just give my brother a toy. [He hands her a lightsaber.] Here. You're Yoda. You have to be Yoda because he's small and you're small.
Tiny Girl, gripping lightsaber: I'm Yoda!
Boy 2: And I'm the taxi man.
Boy 1, in ominous tones: And I'm a VAMPIRE.
Yoda, standing firm with lightsaber: I'm Yoda!
Taxi Man, running at her with a stick: I'm going to hit you, Yoda!
Yoda, whamming him with the lightsaber: Can't hit me! I'm Yoda!
Vampire, from across the play area: I'm going to BITE YOU.
Yoda: Can't bite me! I'm Yoda!
Vampire, making claw hands and swooping in with his stick: ARRRRRRRR, I'm BITING YOU.
Yoda, getting him in the the knees with the lightsaber: CAN'T.
Vampire, bewilderedly: You're afraid of vampires! Why aren't you afraid?
Yoda: I'm Yoda. Yoda isn't afraid!
[The vampire and the taxi man retire, probably to discuss the Yoda problem. She watches. They, perhaps unwisely, turn their backs to whisper privately.]
Yoda: YAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[She charges and nails them both with the lightsaber from behind.]
Vampire and taxi man: OW. NOT FAIR.
Yoda, collecting the sticks they dropped during the surprise attack: Yoda wins!
And in a way, it's like stand-up comedy. (Okay, more like run-around comedy. Still.)
The Theological Convictions of Boba Fett
Kid 1: You're Boba Fett!
Boba Fett, agreeably: I'm Boba Fett.
Kid 1: You have to stay Boba Fett all day no matter what.
Boba Fett, nodding: I'm Boba Fett.
Kid 1: And I'm God!
Boba Fett: Then you're dead. God is dead.
God, sounding shocked: God isn't dead.
Boba Fett: God's in heaven, right?
God: ...Right.
Boba Fett, in the tone of one who would say QED if he knew the term: So God is dead.
God, visibly feeling like something is wrong, but unable to put his finger on what: But - but - God is magic!
Boba Fett, confidently: And dead.
Poll #2789 Park 1
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 485
Who wins?
View Answers
Boba Fett. Hard to argue with logic.
427 (88.0%)
God. Hard to argue with magic.
58 (12.0%)
The Trouble with Yoda
Boy 1, arriving at play area with tiny girl in tow, sounding glum: My mom says we have to let her play.
Boy 2: I just give my brother a toy. [He hands her a lightsaber.] Here. You're Yoda. You have to be Yoda because he's small and you're small.
Tiny Girl, gripping lightsaber: I'm Yoda!
Boy 2: And I'm the taxi man.
Boy 1, in ominous tones: And I'm a VAMPIRE.
Yoda, standing firm with lightsaber: I'm Yoda!
Taxi Man, running at her with a stick: I'm going to hit you, Yoda!
Yoda, whamming him with the lightsaber: Can't hit me! I'm Yoda!
Vampire, from across the play area: I'm going to BITE YOU.
Yoda: Can't bite me! I'm Yoda!
Vampire, making claw hands and swooping in with his stick: ARRRRRRRR, I'm BITING YOU.
Yoda, getting him in the the knees with the lightsaber: CAN'T.
Vampire, bewilderedly: You're afraid of vampires! Why aren't you afraid?
Yoda: I'm Yoda. Yoda isn't afraid!
[The vampire and the taxi man retire, probably to discuss the Yoda problem. She watches. They, perhaps unwisely, turn their backs to whisper privately.]
Yoda: YAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[She charges and nails them both with the lightsaber from behind.]
Vampire and taxi man: OW. NOT FAIR.
Yoda, collecting the sticks they dropped during the surprise attack: Yoda wins!
Poll #2790 Park 2
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 526
Who wins?
View Answers
Yoda. YAAAAAAAAH!
102 (19.4%)
Yoda. Now I want to see a new version of the movies, with Yoda played by a tiny girl.
127 (24.1%)
Yoda. Now I want all politicians to conduct their business with lightsabers.
39 (7.4%)
Yoda. She could probably take over the world if she didn't have to take a nap.
258 (49.0%)
Gotta love kids playing.
I miss working with kids whenever I read stuff like that. But kudos go to Yoda, she clearly has mastered the logic of the game.
I'll add my vote to the notion that ticky boxes would have made poll 2 even more gleeful.