thefourthvine | Slashy Nominations 57: Blurred by Slight Intoxication

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Slashy Nominations 57: Blurred by Slight Intoxication

Alcohol might not be much on its own, but combine it with fan fiction and we do indeed see how sweet life can be. Of course, there's not so much of the slight here; for the most part, these stories contain some serious intoxication. But don't worry about alcohol poisoning and don't bother ordering blood levels; in fan fiction, drunkenness is just a classic way of getting two people horizontal. Or, you know, into other assorted positions.

To put it another way: yay, drunkfics!

Best FF That Proves That Everything Is Better with Wombats: Vombatus poeticus, by

q_skud_. Master & Commander, Stephen Maturin/Jack Aubrey (ish). I'm dedicating this rec to

makesmewannadie, who understands that wombats do indeed make everything better. Wombats can even help with unrequited love, which is pretty much we've got here. This is an itty-bitty fic, and g-rated, so it's really fairly astonishing that

q_skud_ managed to fit so many of my favorite things into it: wombats, Latin, good poetry (on this occasion by Catullus), Stephen Maturin. It's like I was born just to provide this story with its ideal audience. Plus, it helps fill the world's gaping need for wombatfic. Writers, what have you done for wombatfic today? Remember: fandoms need wombats.

Best FF in a Fandom I Am Absolutely Not Reading, Not Not Not: Vaguely Gay, by

miriam_heddy. Sports Night, Dan/Casey McCall. Let me just repeat that: this is not one of my fandoms, people. I don't even know what the show is about (though I'm thinking sports probably come into it somewhere), and I am not getting involved in another damn TV fandom. They're too difficult. It's just - the title of this story really appealed to me, because that's what the guys we slash so often are; there's just something, you know, vaguely gay about the way they interact with their supposedly-straight, supposedly-platonic best friends. So I read the story, and it proved to be good, and so here we are. Of course I can't be sure that this is in-character or canon-appropriate or anything, as this is - did I mention this? - not my fandom. Not! My! Fandom!

Best FF That Scarred Me Forever with a Casual Mention of a Former President of the United States: Scotch Courage, by Kellie Matthews. Due South, Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski. Come for the intoxicated Ray. Stay for the unintoxicated sex. And please, please, somebody tell me that the whole comment about our former President doesn't mean what I think it means, because if it does, the resultant mental images will torment me to the grave. In fact, they may torment me into my grave, so please, say it ain't so. (Sorry, folks. Wish I could provide a better summary. But every time I read or even think of this story, my brain fixates on that one horrible implied-but-please-god-not-true President thing, and it just locks up. Ew.)

Best FF Featuring a Sex Scene That Could Cause Impressionable Readers to Begin Singing "Giles of the Nine and a Half Fingers and the Xander of Doom," Which Is Grounds for Murder in Nine States: Four Dicks, by The Spike, aka

spike21. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Xander/Giles. Can I just say right now that I hate alcoholic-Giles stories? Because I like my Giles shiny and idealistic, and I like him snarky and careworn, but I don't like him passed out. He cannot snark when he's passed out, people. But...I still like this story. It's set in a time when Giles and Xander were both disenfranchised, feeling lost and out of it and wondering what the hell came next; this is a solution way better than the one Joss thought of. And Xander is perfectly in character here, using humor as a cover and a shield. So, you know, even though I don't like stories like this, well, I like this.

Best FF That Makes You Want to Snuggle up to a Warm Fuzzy Evil Demon Monster of Your Very Own: Untitled, by

wiseacress. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Spike/Xander. This is a bonus story, right here, because it's more of a scene, and anyway I try not to repeat fandoms in one set. But this is so worth reading, because it showcases something too many BtVS FF writers forget. I mean, we hear so much about the Ultimate Sexy of Spike that sometimes I wish Buffy'd staked him in season two. And there's almost as much FF talk about Spike's odd, soul-free humanity. There's just not so much focusing on Spike's evident caretaking need. But it's there, folks. He took care of Dru for a hundred years, even though she spent 99% of that time getting a direct feed from Planet Crazy. I understand he also took good care of Dawn, although I myself have not experienced what we might call the Dawn Season of Buffy (also known as the Sunset Season of Buffy, for an entirely different reason). Here, he's taking care of Xander, and he's clearly enjoying himself, and no, you perverts, it's not what you think. It's shmoop, which so clearly should not work with a BtVS-style vampire, except that it...does. And if that's not enough reason to read this, well, let me up the ante. It contains the phrase "make me your pirate bride." Thought that'd get you. Sure got me; I'll be working that phrase into nearly everything I say from now on.

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YOU MUST READ SPORTS NIGHT.

Even better, you must WATCH Sports Night. It's one of those rare slash fandoms for whom the show is So. Damn. GOOD.

I'll even loan you the DVDs.

You know you want to.... :-)

I do NOT want to! I do NOT! Do not tempt me, fearsome maiden. (I mean, really, do you want to spend the next month explaining SN to me? No, I didn't think so.)

Speaking of which, I owe you an email. So we can argue about this there.

(What is SN about? Not that I'm interested! I'm not! Not my fandom!)

Okay, while that's true, SN is really a much easier fandom to get into than, say, oh, just off the top of my head, for instance, THE WHEDONVERSE. Because it's a half-hour comedy, and it's Sorkin, for godssakes. Intellectually stimulating, yes, and plot-filled, yes, but seven years' worth of craziness.

And really, how can you not love a show that uses the phrase "inveterate womanizer" and expects its viewers to get it?

And that calls one of its two male leads "vaguely gay"...and gets away with it?

And that has what may be the best exchange regarding a certain article of clothing between two people ever in the history of creation?

And that gives Robert Guillaume the screen time? EVEN AFTER HIS STROKE?

Also? Sports Night is about sports the way NewsRadio is about the news. Which is to say, not at all. And that's not the right quote, but I couldn't find it, and I wanted to get this off to you quickly.

But you should watch. And you should love. Because you will. And then I'll send you the link to my very favorite fanfic ever in the whole wide world, that I actually PRINTED AND BOUND because the clippies were getting angry with me.

ETA: That should say "But NOT seven years' worth of craziness"....

Kellie's one of my fave writers, and that was the first story of hers that I got to beta. Whee!

And yes, it was big news at the time when that former president went on record in a Playboy magazine interview, saying he'd never been unfaithful but he'd had lust in his heart. Which, frankly, squicks me a lot less than anything W might have in *his* alleged heart. *G* Still, I understand that Ray and Fraser smut does not normally lend itself to images of politicians having sex. :)

Yup, that was the one. I was specifically referring to the fact that he not only said he had experienced lust in his heart (implication being that it was for someone other than his wife), but that he felt that having lust in your heart was no different from having actually carried through and done the deed physically. It was quite a controversial comment. Guess I should have footnoted it for those younger than me. :)

And thanks for the rec! :)

In this case, it would've been an act of mercy to explain that in a footnote, because I took it to mean (and my Best Beloved, who I made read the story because I was afraid I was hallucinating or something, agreed with me) that Jimmy Carter had admitted to having lust in his heart for men.

And all I could think was oh, god, ew; I mean, I'm a big fan of the gay lust thing, obviously, but that? That would turn HoYay into HoYuck. With a vengence. I mean, the Clinton administration proved that there's such a thing as Too Much Information about the President's sex life, but discovering that Jimmy Carter had gay fantasies would've taken that to a whole new level.

Oh, and one other question. Jimmy Carter did a Playboy interview? Was this while he was President? Because if so - go Jimmy.

Ooo! It's an Ardent-connected Kellie Matthews story! No wonder I liked it so much.

As I noted to Kellie, below, I sort of misinterpreted the paragraph about Carter in the story, and it was a frightening experience. Very frightening. Although, now I think about it, most politicians would be very much improved by gay fantasies. In fact, I'd pay money to rewire our entire federal government that way.

Ah! Yes. I can....ew....I can see why that would be a squicky thing. Let us never talk of this again.

:)

Agreed. But you know you'll be thinking of it every time you hear the words "Jimmy Carter" for the rest of your life.

I mean, I know I will.

(Side note: is that Fraser in your icon?)

Hee!

Yes, that's the Mountie himself. Early season Fraser, with the buzz cut and the much lusted-after Brown Uniform. Later, he wore his hair longer and was more prone to wear the red uniform, but he was equally luscious.

The brown uniform looks way better than the red one; it's a pity it doesn't appear in FF more often. Although I sort of see the writers' point - I mean, anyone who can make the red Mountie suit look good has got something serious in the charisma department. It's a useful shorthand for "this man is a demigod, at minimum, and all who see him fall under his spell."

The buzz cut is interesting, though; it makes him look really young. Am I sick and wrong for nonetheless liking it better than the grown-out hair of the later seasons?

There are a cadre of us who love the brown uniform -- that's how I got this icon, actually. I lusted after

kikala's icon and she kindly gave it to me. Sometimes the brown uni pops up in fiction -- usually with Ray thinking about how hot it looks -- but you're right. For some reason the red one gets more play in fiction -- probably because it's easier to describe. :) (I love the red one, too, actually -- I'm an equal opportunity uniform fetishist.)

I agree about the haircut. He looks indecently young in the icon -- I haven't really stared at it in a while. Frankly, he looks pretty young period -- one of the things that gets lost in the fiction is that, for all his wisdom and maturity, Fraser is quite boyish. In the pilot ep, he's practically a baby. (When

kelliem and

bluster and I were lucky enough to meet and greet PG a couple of years ago, he looked strikingly like the hot boys I used to lust after in high school, right down to the jeans and untucked t-shirt. *G*)

LaT wrote a story about the buzz cut (titled, appropriately enough, "Buzz"). I haven't read it in a while but it's very likely at the DS archive and maybe at Due Slash, too. See? There's a fetish for everything in DS. *G*

There are a cadre of us who love the brown uniform

Two questions:

1. Is the Brown Uniform Cadre a militaristic organization with vaguely totalitarian aims?

2. If not, do I need special papers or something to join?

...he looked strikingly like the hot boys I used to lust after in high school, right down to the jeans and untucked t-shirt.

This is not an image I needed to have. Because I so completely do not want to think of Benton Fraser as being in any way, shape, or form similar to the lower primates that passed for boys in my high school. I mean, seriously: the only halfway decent ones were the gay boys in the drama club.

Whoa. I think I just understood way too much about how I ended up a slash-reading, slash-rec'ing lesbian. Go away, insight!

The Dan and Casey love in Sports Night is more text than sub. But I love the show more than reason, so I'm incredibly biased, and yes, Danny is *canonically* called "vaguely gay."

Is there a Sports Night cult or something? I mean, I sort of expected peer support for my decision not to acquire yet another bewildering TV fandom. And instead I get a zillion comments from people telling me that I will never attain true happiness unless I embrace Sports Night.

It's sort of scary.

Love the icon, though. That expression on the guy's face? Very geeky and yet strangely cute. And anything that features canonical suggestions of homosexuality, no matter how nebulous, can't be all bad.

Is there a Sports Night cult or something?

Cult? What? *whistles innocently* There's no cult here, not at all...

I sort of expected peer support for my decision not to acquire yet another bewildering TV fandom.

Really? In my experience, whenever I give the tiniest indication that I might be interested in a new fandom, people cackle loudly and come out of the woodwork to give me free samples of crack, all while saying that everybody's doing it, and hey, is there a bridge I can jump off, guys?

That expression on the guy's face? Very geeky and yet strangely cute.

That is Danny. He is geeky and cute and charming and nutty.

And anything that features canonical suggestions of homosexuality, no matter how nebulous, can't be all bad.

Mmm. Danny and Casey's relationship is quite often the center and heart of the show. (Like... Danny gets hurt when Casey forgets their anniversary. Casey admits that he chose Danny over his marriage. Danny is perfectly comfortable with Casey's kid, and also freaks when he thinks Casey doesn't need him anymore. I could go on, but I'll spare you.)

You people do this just to make me crazy, don't you? Getting all tempting with the clear implications of a more-than-merely-friendly relationship, rich with its promise of in-character slash. Not fair. Fun, but not fair.

Danny gets hurt when Casey forgets their anniversary.

Their anniversary of what? Because, unless I'm missing out on a key part of American culture (and, really, it wouldn't be the first time), friend-type relationships don't typically have anniversaries. I mean, I have friends. I don't have anniversaries with any of them. I only have an anniversary with my Best Beloved. Are you sure they're only vaguely gay in canon?

I could go on, but I'll spare you.

No, no. Why start sparing me now, when you've got me all curious? It's not fair - you hold out the nummy sexy crack and then you take it away. Be consistent!

Really? In my experience, whenever I give the tiniest indication that I might be interested in a new fandom, people cackle loudly and come out of the woodwork to give me free samples of crack, all while saying that everybody's doing it, and hey, is there a bridge I can jump off, guys?

Well, yes, in my experience, too. But I don't understand why that is. I'm not a writer, so no one actually benefits from sucking me in to yet another fandom. Unless it's just the company in hell principle at work.

And, really, shouldn't my community be supportive of my stated wish to set boundaries on myself and limit my reach to what I can handle safely and comfortably? But, no, instead I get people tempting me with fic and porn and candy. You might just as well shoot the stuff directly into my veins, you know that?

Fandom is clearly seriously dysfunctional and unhealthy.

Hmmm. Actually, that probably explains why I like it so much.

You people do this just to make me crazy, don't you?

Possibly. Is it working?

I only have an anniversary with my Best Beloved. Are you sure they're only vaguely gay in canon?

Casey was likewise baffled by what anniversary he'd missed, until Danny informed him that it was the anniversary of their first show together. (This led to Casey's eventual confession that he chose Danny over saving his marriage, which made Danny go googly-eyed.) And I've been assured that some people don't see Danny and Casey as a couple, but if one chooses to believe they could be, their love is more text than sub. Especially when you consider that they've been partners for ten years, and have serious problems functioning without each other.

God, they're so cute, they really are.

Be consistent!

Sorry! I'm only on my second cup of coffee, and what brain cells aren't devoted to doing my job seem to be off furtively scribbling notes for superhero porn.

Unless it's just the company in hell principle at work.

The power of squee is a wonderful thing. A tiny bit of the pimping has to do with selfishness, sure -- when there are more people who watch Sports Night, talk about it, and rec it, there's a greater chance of pulling in people who DO write, and a greater chance that all the new Sports Night stories in the archive won't all have my name attached. But mostly I just like nattering happily about Sports Night with people who will listen.

Possibly. Is it working?

It's eight o'clock in the morning. I am reading freaking SPORTS NIGHT smut - and the good quality, totally uncut (get that mind out of the gutter) stuff, too. I had an hour of sleep last night.

If this isn't insanity, it's hell.

With good porn. (Which is why I'm fairly sure it's not heaven.)

Sorry! I'm only on my second cup of coffee, and what brain cells aren't devoted to doing my job seem to be off furtively scribbling notes for superhero porn.

Superhero porn? All is forgiven. Never mind about the whole consistency thing. Just get that superhero porn on deck. Um, so to speak.

But mostly I just like nattering happily about Sports Night with people who will listen.

You know, the people who got me so far into the due South fandom that it will take a freaking bathysphere to get me out had pretty much the same excuse. (Why, yes,

ardent_muses, I am looking at you.) This is a disease, is what this is. And it is very contagious.

But, hey - it's a fun disease.

Oh, man, Sports Night is so good. They only made 2 seasons, and the eps are 26 minutes apiece, so it's easy to watch quickly -- and though there's not a ton of SN fiction out there, an surprisingly high proportion of what's out there is good -- it seems to appeal to some of the best fanwriters I know. :-)

Mmm. Sports Night.

Huh. Usually I find that the highest percentages of quality FF are from small book fandoms - there are ones where almost every fic is good. Whereas TV fandoms tend to have FF that's rather thick on the ground, but that usually requires a bit more, um, sorting. There's still a lot that's good - often more than in the small book fandoms - but it's a smaller percentage of the total avilable fic.

So it's interesting to me that Sports Night might be more like a non-TV fandom. Huh.

(Side query: is the girl in your icon looking *out* of a porthole or *in* to a washing machine? I look at her looking at me and feel vaguely worried that the spin cycle might start soon.)

Aw, but Sports Night is a great little fandom. Very low-key, pretty Dan/Casey centric. There's a fab primer (http://www.livejournal.com/community/crack_van/17700.html), and some really stellar fic.

Thanks for the primer link. But I am not picking up a new fandom. Not. Not!

Well, probably not.

I'm serious about what I said to

shrift above, though; I keep expecting a commenter to show up in here saying "Sports Night is love, and love is Sports Night."

And the sad part is, I would probably still end up reading some SN FF. I'm pathetic. And I'm forced to wonder if LA has an inpatient rehab for FF addiction yet; if so, I should probably make reservations now. Would save my Best Beloved a lot of trouble.

Your recs fill me with glee.

That is all.

Yay! I am a distributer of glee! That sounds so much better than "purveyor of smu"t or "procurer of porn."

Glee provider. I could get into that.

(Love the icon, by the way.)

I don't even know what the show is about (though I'm thinking sports probably come into it somewhere),

Except they don't. Not really.

Plus, only two seasons! Out on DVD! You can devour them like candy!

But...but...two seasons is a lot. I've seen less than a full season's worth of Buffy eps - spread out over four seasons, though - and it's taken me months!

And more to the point, if there's anyone on this planet who does not need another fandom, that person would be me.

(Or, OK, maybe you. But I would be second!)

You people are ennabling my FF addiction, that's what you're doing. And tempting me. And just generally behaving like - well, actually, like fans, now that I think about it.

And the pathetic part is that I'm looking at these comments and telling myself that, really, it's a small fandom, so it won't take much time for me to get up to speed, surely, and it's not one of those huge, time-sucking fandoms like due South, where you can spend the rest of your life just getting to grips with the PWP written in August 2000, never mind an actual comprehensive survey of the entire body of available work.

And then I realize what I'm doing: I'm rationalizing the acquisition of another fandom, when I'm still chewing on my previous new fandom and digesting the one before that. (Warning: do not carry this metaphor to its logical conclusion. If you do, you will regret it. And so will I.)

God help me. I'm doomed. So, so doomed.

But...but...two seasons is a lot.

Not when the episodes are 22 minutes each. They go by so fast you barely even notice.

And more to the point, if there's anyone on this planet who does not need another fandom, that person would be me.

(Or, OK, maybe you. But I would be second!)

Yeah, but do you want another fandom? With Peter Krause and Josh Charles? And William H. Macy, who shows up for a great run of episodes in the second season? And the beautiful, subtle, regal presence of Robert Guillaume?

God help me. I'm doomed. So, so doomed.

Yeah, welcome to fandom. Feel free to start over at PolyRecs (http://bifictionalbedlam.slashcity.net/recs) -- we have a nice manageable Sports Night page.

No! Don't go into the light! You can't go into a new fandom, 'cause then I have to get into a new fandom to read the stories you recommend and you already got me three more then I had. It's all your fault really, do you know how long that I've been trying not to get into the Buffyverse? It's almost as bad as getting into Harry Potter. I'll never get any work done. *sighs and wonders off to find more Xander/Spike*

I'm sorry, but it's too late. I've been converted by the Sports Night Overmind. And if I possibly can, I will lure you in, too.

Really, it's for your own good. You will be happy with more fandoms! Only with multiple fandoms can you find true love and joy and unity. And once you have passed the forty-fandom mark, you will attain a higher level of being that we call uberfensch. Excelsior!

excellent journal. really really good taste, and some very funny recs. a pleasure. i guess it takes a lot of effort to keep it going, so i just wanted to let you know that these efforts are very much appreciated. great job.

I am so glad to hear that you like it! It does take a lot of time and effort to do this, so it's very, very nice to hear that people are enjoying it.

Thank you!

Sports Night is Love. Love is Sports Night. Step into the glow.

Sorry. Wandered in from Fametracker a while back and had to emerge from lurking to share the Sports Night love. Only 22 minutes per episode...a nice little break in whatever you're doing...and in discussing canon slashiness, let's not forget that Dan and Casey once spent a large chunk of an episode in their underwear, discussing their mutual lack of pants.

OK, back into hiding. Or rather, back into Due South, which is all your fault - my first fandom where I'm completely canon-innocent.

Do not hide from us. We are the uberfensch, and we will assimilate you.

Or rather, back into Due South, which is all your fault - my first fandom where I'm completely canon-innocent.

Don't let

ardent_muses hear you say that. (And now I must do my happy dance, for I have converted another person to the joys of canon-free fan fiction! Oh, joy a thousand times repaid!)

...let's not forget that Dan and Casey once spent a large chunk of an episode in their underwear, discussing their mutual lack of pants.

This is absolutely something we should not forget. I wish to hear more. Details! I need details! (Why did no one think to mention this to me before now?)

I love this lj. It's my first stop when I'm either a) procrastinating or b) actually finished my work. Guess which is more common? ;)

Sports Night is a great little fandom... and the sixth or seventh fandom I started reading in without knowing canon. The DVDs are on my netflix list, which happens to be 300+ titles long. I'll get to it eventually, I supposed. In the meantime, fic!

If I may make a suggestion for a future category... my special slash weakness are "complete" AUs (where the characters are in a completely different job/life situation than canon, rather then a different "what if" for the canon). *looks up innocently* feeding an addiction is the healthiest way to cope, right?

One last time for emphasis: I love your recs.

Oooo. You are a truly skilled multi-fandom non-canon FF reader. Clearly, you need your own LJ, so you can start rec'ing things for me. I promise I will be a regular, enthusiastic reader if you do, because we MFNCFFRs need to stick together. (We also need to do some work on that acronym.)

Complete AUs, hmmm?

*thoughtful inspection of database*

Not quite there yet, because AUs of all kinds work for me in some fandoms way more than others, so I've got a bunch in one or two fandoms and...well, that's about it. But I will start collecting now. Lord only knows when I'll actually be able to do a set on them, though.

I will do my best. I'm all for feeding the addiction.

Greatness. Addiction is fun.

How do you know when you're completley addicted? When you're reading crossover NC-17 AUs between two television series you've never seen, that's how. :)

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Slashy Nominations 57: Blurred by Slight Intoxication

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thank you

Re: thank you

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