thefourthvine | No Heterosexual Explanation Moments

Recently, I was talking to

frostfire_17, and the topic of the No Heterosexual Explanation Moment came up. (It will not surprise you to hear that we were talking about the Fast and Furious franchise at the time. There are few other franchises so thoroughly inundated with such moments, I think.) It is the moment when you try, you genuinely, seriously try to take off your slash goggles and figure out what the writers, producers, directors, and actors thought was happening in a scene, and you can only conclude that, no, they must have thought the same-sex pairing was doing it, too. (It can also be the moment that a non-slasher wanders in, studies the screen for a long moment with narrowed eyes, and then says, "They are so fucking each other.")

As far as I can tell, there are two major categories of No Heterosexual Explanation Moments. The first is where the plot only makes sense if the pairing is, in fact, a pairing; I tend to put the first season of Smallville (what I know of it) into this category. Lex's behavior is just, you know, really really hard to explain unless he is very hot for Clark indeed. And the second kind is where it's just not something people with a strictly platonic, UST-free relationship ever do. Like, for example, when one cop signs "I love you" to the other cop as he's being med-evac'd out on a helicopter. I am pretty sure they don't teach that in police academy courses on Effective Partnerships in the Law Enforcement Profession, is all I'm saying.

But Frost and I realized that, tragically, we just do not have the depth and breadth of experience to make a complete catalogue of No Heterosexual Explanation Moments. This is where I am hoping you all come in. What are the key NHEMs of our time? Of past times? Of all time? Educate me! Bonus points for links to clips, if they come from a visual medium.

F/F as welcome as M/M, of course. And, hey, if you've got any NHEMs for threesomes, lay 'em on me. The only key is that even a person struggling not to see the pairing will still say, "...You know, I just really think they're doing it." (Obviously, if it is an actual canon pairing, it cannot feature in an NHEM, because in that case there shouldn't BE a heterosexual explanation.)

ETA: Spoilers in comments, of course! And the more the merrier, in my opinion.

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Does the entire canon of Starsky and Hutch count? Because. Er. The first forty seconds of this clip from A Coffin for Starsky and the scene with the dip, for example.

WOW. Um, also, WOW. I - I really don't know what to do with that, except to assume they were doing it. Are you sure that they weren't actually, canonically doing it? Maybe you just missed the episode with the kiss!

The kiss is in the blooper reel only, sorry!

which is here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAifiPz6u5c

kiss is at the 40 second mark.

... I - just - tell me, were they allowed to DO that in the seventies? I wasn't alive then, and I'm genuinely curious.

... is that simulated fellatio at the 20 second mark?!

Yup!

personally I have always felt that Starsky had a lot of internalized homophobia to work on (there is an episode where he finds out a mentor was gay, and he clearly has SO MUCH TROUBLE DEALING, and there is at least one scene in that episode -- they are in a car, talking, and it reads to me a lot like Hutch is treading very carefully not to give away his total crush on Starsky so as not to freak him the hell more out than he already is, and and...I need to go read some S/H RIGHT NOW.)

You mean this scene? (just the first bit of the vid).

Yes, Hutch proves their gayness with math. ♥

AWW YOUR ICON. <3 <3 <3

OMG A B13 FAN. *clings*

Okay, how has no one commented about B13: Ultimatum yet? I mean, Damien forgets his apartment security code, forgets his girlfriend...and then remembers Leito's phone number after 3 years without seeing or speaking to him. While in prison. In handcuffs. Holding two guards in arm locks.

Eeee, David Bell smiling, how rare! (I think he is actually a doppelganger of Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother.)

And yes! I submit lots of B13: Ultimatum, and that scene in particular, only makes sense with slash goggles. They are so adorably, openly mancrushing on each other, like in that scene in the hallway when Damien tells Leito to go do his spiderman thing, right before Damien kicks the crap out of all those guards.

(no subject)

spatz - 2011-05-03 15:12 (UTC) - Expand

imwalde - 2011-05-03 23:17 (UTC) - Expand

OMG, adding this show to to-watch list.

It's super-ridic cheese, but the slash factor is off the charts. In the pilot movie, they get undressed together at least twice, and go to a porno together.

Not that scene, although i love it!

I mean the one that starts around 2:50 of this segment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UpmLRKl4Qc

AWWW THEM. That long silence at the end of the conversation? The significant glances? *melts* I really need to track down the rest of the series.

Do you have any S/H recs? My usual methods haven't turned up much that wasn't painfully dated. These, but S&H is woefully underrepresented on Delicious.

If I can interject, all the

crack_van recs are here on the

starsky_hutch comm, at the top.

I know we're on DW here, but the comm is on LJ.

S/H is full of very traditional stuff -- even a lot of the recently-written fiction reads like classics. If absolutely sincere h/c is your bag, there is no better fandom, but if it's not the pickings are sometimes slim!

Laurajv is right, but I do love some S&H AUs. Jat Sapphire's Another Dawn Patrol, in which the boys are WWI flying aces, is a really good one.

There was another one which took place during WWII, but I can't seem to find it.

greenygal - 2011-05-04 04:29 (UTC) - Expand

Thanks for linking my vid!

Thanks for making it! ;) I like to watch it when I need a pick-me-up, because I always end up grinning like a loon.

Actually, it seemed particularly appropriate to link in this post - my first viewing was at a con where half the audience didn't know jack about the show, and the reaction to that scene was hysterical. Lots of laughter and "did that really just happen?" faces, because how else are you supposed to take that scene? NHEM, indeed.

lauramcewan - 2011-05-03 15:31 (UTC) - Expand

spatz - 2011-05-03 15:38 (UTC) - Expand

lauramcewan - 2011-05-03 15:52 (UTC) - Expand

That was awesome; thanks for mentioning it!

They're in bed together when the series ends, if that helps.

Jumping in here to add that the last ep of the series is, well....

Starsky gets shot. Badly. He lies in ICU forever, hovering on the verge of death, while Hutch watches him with the most stricken expression imaginable. Hutch goes on a rampage, determined to find Starsky's attackers. He is absolutely terrifying. He calls the hospital and finds that Starsky is fading fast. In fact, Starsky flatlines while Hutch is on the way. The doctors work frantically on him, but it's no use until Hutch bursts through the ICU doors. Then Starsky's heart starts beating again. The doctor can't explain it. But WE can. :-)

And then at the end, the last scene of the last ep, they're lying in Starsky's hospital bed. Together. Laughing and gazing into each other's eyes.

You want slash, S&H GOT it.

Ok, the Starsky and Hutch fangirls are totally winning me over.