thefourthvine: Two people fucking, rearview: sex is the universal fandom. (Default)
Keep Hoping Machine Running ([personal profile] thefourthvine) wrote2011-05-01 05:19 pm

No Heterosexual Explanation Moments

Recently, I was talking to [livejournal.com profile] frostfire_17, and the topic of the No Heterosexual Explanation Moment came up. (It will not surprise you to hear that we were talking about the Fast and Furious franchise at the time. There are few other franchises so thoroughly inundated with such moments, I think.) It is the moment when you try, you genuinely, seriously try to take off your slash goggles and figure out what the writers, producers, directors, and actors thought was happening in a scene, and you can only conclude that, no, they must have thought the same-sex pairing was doing it, too. (It can also be the moment that a non-slasher wanders in, studies the screen for a long moment with narrowed eyes, and then says, "They are so fucking each other.")

As far as I can tell, there are two major categories of No Heterosexual Explanation Moments. The first is where the plot only makes sense if the pairing is, in fact, a pairing; I tend to put the first season of Smallville (what I know of it) into this category. Lex's behavior is just, you know, really really hard to explain unless he is very hot for Clark indeed. And the second kind is where it's just not something people with a strictly platonic, UST-free relationship ever do. Like, for example, when one cop signs "I love you" to the other cop as he's being med-evac'd out on a helicopter. I am pretty sure they don't teach that in police academy courses on Effective Partnerships in the Law Enforcement Profession, is all I'm saying.

But Frost and I realized that, tragically, we just do not have the depth and breadth of experience to make a complete catalogue of No Heterosexual Explanation Moments. This is where I am hoping you all come in. What are the key NHEMs of our time? Of past times? Of all time? Educate me! Bonus points for links to clips, if they come from a visual medium.

F/F as welcome as M/M, of course. And, hey, if you've got any NHEMs for threesomes, lay 'em on me. The only key is that even a person struggling not to see the pairing will still say, "...You know, I just really think they're doing it." (Obviously, if it is an actual canon pairing, it cannot feature in an NHEM, because in that case there shouldn't BE a heterosexual explanation.)

ETA: Spoilers in comments, of course! And the more the merrier, in my opinion.
petra: Man with half his face obscured by a cracked mirror (Sam - Half crazy)

[personal profile] petra 2011-05-02 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you for the Tenth Doctor/Master phonesex clip. I had hunted it down and then I thought to refresh. May I add the bondage chair to expand upon the thesis?
kindkit: Picture of the TARDIS, captioned "This funny little box that carries me away . . ." (Doctor Who--TARDIS)

[personal profile] kindkit 2011-05-02 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
Oh yes, add away. Really, we could add just about every moment the Doctor (any Doctor) and the Master (any Master) were in the same scene.
iceshade: (TW: Janto dance)

[personal profile] iceshade 2011-05-03 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
Pretty much any Ten/Master moment from The End of Time fits here, really. Though I would be willing to bet MONEY that RTD is a Doctor/Master shipper
petra: Harley Quinn hugging Poison Ivy blissfully (Harley & Ivy - Femslash yay!)

[personal profile] petra 2011-05-03 01:43 am (UTC)(link)
I believe you would have a terrible time finding anyone to take the opposite tack.