No Heterosexual Explanation Moments

[thefourthvine]

Recently, I was talking to frostfire_17, and the topic of the No Heterosexual Explanation Moment came up. (It will not surprise you to hear that we were talking about the Fast and Furious franchise at the time. There are few other franchises so thoroughly inundated with such moments, I think.) It is the moment when you try, you genuinely, seriously try to take off your slash goggles and figure out what the writers, producers, directors, and actors thought was happening in a scene, and you can only conclude that, no, they must have thought the same-sex pairing was doing it, too. (It can also be the moment that a non-slasher wanders in, studies the screen for a long moment with narrowed eyes, and then says, "They are so fucking each other.")

As far as I can tell, there are two major categories of No Heterosexual Explanation Moments. The first is where the plot only makes sense if the pairing is, in fact, a pairing; I tend to put the first season of Smallville (what I know of it) into this category. Lex's behavior is just, you know, really really hard to explain unless he is very hot for Clark indeed. And the second kind is where it's just not something people with a strictly platonic, UST-free relationship ever do. Like, for example, when one cop signs "I love you" to the other cop as he's being med-evac'd out on a helicopter. I am pretty sure they don't teach that in police academy courses on Effective Partnerships in the Law Enforcement Profession, is all I'm saying.

But Frost and I realized that, tragically, we just do not have the depth and breadth of experience to make a complete catalogue of No Heterosexual Explanation Moments. This is where I am hoping you all come in. What are the key NHEMs of our time? Of past times? Of all time? Educate me! Bonus points for links to clips, if they come from a visual medium.

F/F as welcome as M/M, of course. And, hey, if you've got any NHEMs for threesomes, lay 'em on me. The only key is that even a person struggling not to see the pairing will still say, "...You know, I just really think they're doing it." (Obviously, if it is an actual canon pairing, it cannot feature in an NHEM, because in that case there shouldn't BE a heterosexual explanation.)

ETA: Spoilers in comments, of course! And the more the merrier, in my opinion.

Comments

[liviapenn]

The whole breakup scene in Psych 4x01 "Ghosts" which is where my default icon comes from:

[Gus has just been told by his boss that he can't work two jobs any more, and Shawn shows up to confront him about it]

Shawn: (pained expression) Oh my god. This isn't a joke. You're really quitting Psych?!
Gus: (equally mournful expression) I am so, so sorry, Shawn.
Shawn: In a text message, no less?!
Gus: I couldn't think of any other way to tell you. I knew you would just convince me to stay. Listen, maybe we could still do it on the weekends.
Shawn: Get ready to hear some good news. I've worked out a compromise that will solve all of this.
(Gus looks hopeful)
Shawn: You quit this job. THIS job you quit!

[in the same discussion]

Shawn: Who needs forty-eight thousand dollars to live?
Gus: I need thirty-two. The other sixteen generally goes to you.
Shawn: Don't be ridiculous.
Gus: I claimed you on my taxes, Shawn!

[odditycollector]

Okay, I can't remember the exact quote, but I am fond of the bit where Shawn is really offended that Gus had gotten drunk married a decade ago, and Gus is all, "It wasn't a *real marriage*. You know when I get married for real you are going to be standing right beside me on the altar! [pause] As my best man."

[liviapenn]

AHahahaa. Oh yes. And the whole part in "Thrillseekers" where first Shawn hates Gus' new girlfriend, and then changes his plan and starts insinuating himself into their hugs and their shared moments, and Gus is like, "You have to stop doing that," and Shawn is like, "But I don't know how else to deal with what's going on here!" HE NEEDS TO BE A PART OF IT.

[odditycollector]

Isn't there a vid around on exactly that theme? I distinctly remember such a thing existing!

[liviapenn]

I don't know! Is there? :O

[odditycollector]

Yes! Fine, I shall do the heavy googling paging through delicious.com (it will be horrible if we lose that site)! I just always assume I am less aware of vids than just about anyone.

http://fv-poster.livejournal.com/66043.html

[mollyamory]

Shawn/Gus is clearly what Shawn/Cory grew up to be! :)

[gwynevere1]

Yes, I just tried to list all the Shawn/Gus in a comment at LJ, but I just gave up and wrote "See every episode."

I should have checked DW first.

[lunarwolfik]

Shawn and Gus? Totally married. With sparkly hearts.

Gus: I claimed you on my taxes, Shawn!

D'awwwwww