223: Shit Gets Real

[thefourthvine]

I am allergic to celebrities. I just - they bother me. I feel like the basic social contract, as far as celebrities are concerned, is that we pay them a lot of money and in return they spend all their time far away and we (or, okay, I) can pretend they don't really exist. (True fact: when people on my friends list post excitedly about meeting their favorite celebrities, I am happy for them, but I, uh, have to hit the back button very speedily. Because ew, celebrities.)

You might think that this would be a problem, given that I live in a place that has a mildly elevated celebrity density, but this is where my inability to recognize faces pays off; I could watch three back-to-back movies starring someone and then get trapped in an elevator with him for four hours, and when I came out I would say, "You know, he sounded familiar. I think my sister might know him." (The real problem comes about when I am walking around with people and they say - quietly and without pointing, of course, because they are Angelenos, but why even bring it up? - "Oh, hey! It's -" whoever. I do not want to know. If you're ever walking around with me and you see Jeremy Piven or Arnold Schwarzenegger or Jennifer Anniston or Mary Louise Parker, just do not tell me. I will be happy, and you will be happy, and presumably whoever it is will be happy, too. Unless it's Arnold Schwarzenegger, who even I could tell looked incredibly grouchy every time I was with someone who pointed him out.)

So my celebrity allergy was absolutely fine for the longest time. I had the disease and the cure! And then I got into fan fiction, and - and it was no longer fine. Because the celebrity allergy gave me an RPF squick, and that meant there were a lot of stories I yearned to read and could not.

But it wasn't like, say, my animal harm squick, which when triggered leaves me so upset that I once cried on the phone to a telemarketer because of a story I'd been reading. (She hung up.) It just makes me geechy, in the same way that actual celebrities make me geechy. I can deal with being geechy in a good cause. So each time a new RPF fandom came out, I would read a story in it, one that was highly recommended, and each time I would have hope in my heart. Because maybe - maybe the fact that I've never seen American Idol will mean I can read this! (Nope.) Maybe the fact that I can only name about three total bandom guys will mean I can read this! (Nope.) It was always immensely disappointing; there's no feeling quite like reading a story you know is good, that you want to love, except you can't because your skin is filing for divorce from your body.

Still. I persevered. I discovered some fandoms in which I could dabble! (Mythbusters, for example. They're real people, but my brain doesn't consider them celebrities, so I can deal. Also anything featuring people from, like, WWII or before; my brain doesn't consider them real.) And then recently, magically, I followed some links that dine posted, and I found that I can read hockey RPF. I have no idea if it's because I don't consider the players celebrities or because I don't consider them real people, but I don't care. RPF! That I can read! I have hope that I can, at long long last, break this thing. Maybe this time next year I will be able to read bandom and popslash and LotRiPS and J2 and AI and all the other fan fiction I have missed over the years! There will be celebrating then, let me tell you.

In the meantime, as kind of a precursor celebration, a recs set that has been seven years in the making: an all RPF set.

The One That Proves That There's No Soap Opera Like a Hockey Soap Opera. My Siberia: A Russian Knitting Circle Story, by impertinence. Hockey RPF, Sidney Crosby/Geno Malkin.
Here is a list of the things I've learned while reading hockey RPF (note: may possibly not apply to actual hockey):

1. The Blackhawks are by far the gayest team in the NHL.
   
2. Sidney Crosby is a hockey-playing robot.
   
3. No one pines like a Russian hockey player. Entire strands of virgin forest (sorry; in my defense, uncut sounded even worse) only wish they could pine that hard.

And then I picked the story that exemplified 66% of these things. (I do have many Blackhawks recs, but the Gay Little Team That Could (Totally Blow Each Other) is going to have to wait its turn. It's fine; the players have lots to get up to in the meantime. )

So, yes, I went with the Pining for the Robot story. This is a good trope for me. No, this is a great trope for me. I have a lot of love for a certain type of character - the person who is incredibly good at something, or even a lot of somethings, who manages to be a decent person while somehow sucking at being, you know, human. (Yes, fine, my ideal character is Spock. This cannot be a surprise to anyone.) In other words: a robot. (Or, okay, to be clear, a person-type character a lot of other characters are going to call a robot. Or an alien.) And in this trope, I can see some other character appreciating the robot as much as I do. Awesome.

And this is where hockey RPF is good to me, because it turns out Sidney Crosby is an ideal robot. He's a brilliant hockey player with roughly the same skill at being human as an actual alien. (Sadly, there is no story in which Crosby actually is an alien, and the concussion is really a symptom of him going into heat. You can't have everything, I guess.)

Geno Malkin, meanwhile, is a pining hockey-playing Russian, or perhaps the pining hockey-playing Russian. Judging by the fan fiction I've read, he raises the league's pining average at least four full percentage points, and should probably get bonuses in his contract.

So, basically, this story is the perfect introduction to hockey RPF fandom. Geno pines! Sidney is bad at life! Geno pines! Sidney comes up with a terrible plan! Sex and pining! Dating and pining! And then joyful resolution and pining no more. Plus it's really funny. And you don't need to know anything about the characters, or indeed about hockey. Go read this already.

The One That Makes Raymond Carver Sexy. For Reals. A Passage That Sings, by dorkorific. Star Trek Reboot RPF, Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto.

Okay, this one is frostfire_17's fault. We were chatting about Martha Gellhorn, as you do, and we basically had this conversation:

Frost: Can I quote something at you? It will totally squick you, but you need to read it anyway.
Me, forgetting that like 90% of things that are weird in my life start exactly this way: Sure.
Frost: [pastes in a chunk of this very story, featuring MARTHA GELLHORN]
Me: Oh, god. That's - that's - look, just give me the link.

Because, I mean, yes, this one does trigger my celebrity squick like you would not even believe, and I don't care. For dialogue like this, I will read - um. I will read Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto, apparently, squick be damned. And, seriously, it is a fantastic story. Nothing is ever going to make me forgive Ernest Hemingway - even Martha Gellhorn herself couldn't do it - but this came close. (Dear middle school teachers: Don't assign the Ernest to your preteen students. No, don't. Look, I have heard every one of your excuses, and I declare them all null and void. The only valid reason to assign Hemingway to middle school students is to produce a new generation of Hemingway haters.)

So, yes, I love this story, even if it did give me horrible visions of Chris Pine in 20 years, doing beat poetry type readings a la William Shatner, but with additional lecturing on actual beat poets. I - I am not going to recover from that mental image in a hurry.

And, okay, I realize I've made this story sound kind of like its title should be Your College English Classes, Except with Hot Guys Banging. But that's not all it is! There's - pining! (You wouldn't even believe how hard I'm resisting the urge to make a Chris Pining joke here. And failing. I have no willpower.) And Zachary Quinto being kind of a hot mess! And humor! And - and, actually, you would totally read a story called Your College English Classes, Except with Hot Guys Banging, so don't even look at me that way. Just read this.

The One That Proves That Sexual Flexibility Really Is the Key to a Better Life. The Pinocchio Fallacy, by toft. Mythbusters RPF, Jamie Hyneman/Adam Savage, Kari Byron/Grant Imahara.

I cleverly separated this one from the first one because, um. I thought I could probably pack enough words in between these two stories for you to miss that I recommended a Pining for the Robot story followed by an actual robot story. I - like robots, okay? I feel a certain bond.

And this is an awesome robot story. I just - this is, like, gently steeped in the Asimov robot tradition, but then with a thousand tons of amazingness added in. I just. I love everything about this so much. And I want you to read it, which I realize is - well, look. I know that those of you who have not already read this story are thinking one of two things:

1. ADAM from MYTHBUSTERS as a SEXBOT? Okay, that's it, the internet is over. Let's all go learn croquet now.
   
2. Who from what now?

And you've probably already stopped reading this as a result. But if you're still here, no! This story is for you! (Unless you are bothered by robots, in which case you are allowed to pass on by, but for the record robots are the best.) (Also I think I should note here that - okay, for a couple of you, this story summary is going to feel like a slap in the face. I hear you, I was there, too, and it worked out fine for me. If you feel like you've been punched but you still want to read it, email me. I'll go into how it worked for me.)

Anyway. All that said, what this story is really about is what it means to be human, and what it means to be not human. It has a message, even! And also it has robot messageboards, and Kari Byron fighting for robot freedom, and Tory the Tool of the Man, which I frankly always kind of thought he was, and just general wonderfulness. Plus, you know, the best sexbot characterization I have ever read, and see, that right there is why fandom is awesome, because I never dreamed I'd have a chance to write that sentence. The fact that I did is clear proof that you should go read the story that inspired it. NO REALLY I MEAN IT.

The One That Proves That There's No Morning After Like the Morning After Elfland. Force Majeure, by astolat. American History RPF, Alexander Hamilton/George Washington.

Okay, so, this is the rare story in our household that caused a squick that wasn't mine. It turns out Best Beloved, who does not really have any textual squicks to speak of, found one as soon as she looked at this story's information a day or two after Yuletide.

"Washington," she said. "I - don't know. I'm not sure I can do that. Just. Washington."

I am here to tell you that if the idea of George Washington slash is squicking you out (BEST BELOVED), you should absolutely make every effort to get over it, because this story has magic and elfland, and also a narrative voice that will absolutely make you long for the complete history of this universe. Like, I would even read about the Civil War and the Reconstruction in this universe, and given that the worst history teacher in the world worked extra hard to make sure I would stab myself in the foot rather than hear the word "carpetbagger" one more time, even decades after the class, that is saying something. Mostly that this universe is great. (Also that apparently sufficiently good fiction can make up for an entire year's worth of educational trauma.)

And, okay, for reasons that are possibly obvious, early American history is not my strong point (same teacher, although fortunately we spent a lot less time on it, albeit still enough to guarantee that I fulfilled all my history requirements in college with classes featuring the initials BC), but I love the references in here to both our actual universe and - historical mythology? Whatever. Basically, I'm saying I love the cherry tree and everything it stands for.

And if this story has given me an appetite for founders slash, I'm sure that will pass in time. (Just - think! All nations! All founders! Ideally with magic or dragons or giant talking birds! Okay, maybe that's just me. At least I didn't suggest national founders and robots. Although that's mostly because I've already been to the Hall of Presidents.)

Comments

[torachan]

I don't have any weird feelings about celebs, but I just don't care about them and don't understand why, even if it's a celeb who is really good looking and seems like a nice person based on what I've seen of them, I would ever want to meet them. Especially like, stand in line (and pay money!) to get an autograph or shake their hand. Why??? So, I am baffled by most of my fellow fans.

I don't know if it's my indifference to celebs or just general not-paying-attentionitis, but I have lived in LA for 35 years now and I think I've seen maybe five celebs. (Part of it is definitely that I rarely go to places rich people go.)

Anyway! Does it bother you to read RPF even when it's an AU and not about them being actors or musicians? Like, if someone gave you the story and didn't tell you first that it was RPF and you thought it was original characters and enjoyed it, it would become weird to you to find out that the names were the same as celebs? I don't like RPF about celebs as celebs, because I have issues re: rich people, and also bafflement because I don't understand the appeal of the whole "lifestyles of the rich and famous" thing, but I've read a lot of good RPF AUs.

[thefourthvine]

I don't know if it's my indifference to celebs or just general not-paying-attentionitis, but I have lived in LA for 35 years now and I think I've seen maybe five celebs.

I used to work in a job that involved celebrities. And BB used to work in Malibu. (True fact: one of her employees spent a year pursuing a celebrity on her lunch hour.) And also I used to go hang with a friend who worked right near the dance studio where allllll the stars take their kids. As a result, celebrities have been sort of unavoidable at certain points in my life, and I have seen - well, a lot more than five, although I obviously couldn't testify to that in court. I AM FINE AS LONG AS I DON'T KNOW THEY'RE THERE. JUST DON'T TELL ME.

Does it bother you to read RPF even when it's an AU and not about them being actors or musicians?

Mostly yes. BUT. If you have some stand-out recs for long RPF AUs, I would love to have them, because obviously that is the next step (after Hockey RPF; THANK YOU, big gay stick-handlers!) to conquering my RPF squick.

[roga]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you are reading rpf oh my god I AM EXCITE.

[thefourthvine]

ME TOO. Please let this be the beginning of the end of the squick! PLEASE OH PLEASE.

[ainsley]

Also anything featuring people from, like, WWII or before; my brain doesn't consider them real.

Aha! You are brilliant. I have a similar RPF squick, and I think you just explained why my brain doesn't process it the same way as, say, Neil Patrick Harris from the annals of TFV recs sets past.

I will give a couple of these stories a try! <3

[thefourthvine]

See, Neil Patrick Harris isn't real - he's a movie character! I saw him! In that movie! And, okay, granted, he was playing himself, but my brain is a squirrelly beast and knows no logic.

But I fistbump you, my fellow sufferer. This is a crappy squick to have. GO AWAY, FAMOUS PEOPLE. Or at least - be less real?

[spatz]

Although bandom completely destroyed my RPF squick, your tale is a perfect encapsulation of having a squick that everyone else loves: all "I keep trying it, and it never works, but all these awesome writers are taunting me with things I cannot read and somehow I feel bizarrely like I've let down Team Have All The Kinks." Except more hilarious, as you do.

Now I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon reading about English Lit and sexbots. Yay, fandom!

[thefourthvine]

your tale is a perfect encapsulation of having a squick that everyone else loves: all "I keep trying it, and it never works

YES EXACTLY IT IS SO TRYING. Why must we have squicks? I am pretty sure I'd be happier without them!

Now I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon reading about English Lit and sexbots. Yay, fandom!

Do not neglect the hockey players or the US president, either. Seriously SO AWESOME. All of these.

[killing_rose]

You have recs for more Hockey Player fic? Because I read that fic. It languished on my Kindle for months, as I wandered off to Once Upon a Time fic and Yuletide, finished one night in a frenzy of "must read all the fic". And once I finished it, I said, "I want more!"

...Only I couldn't get into any of the other long!hockey fic that was on my Kindle.

[thefourthvine]

SO MANY RECS OMG. It's a small fandom, but disproportionately full of good writers, and they apparently love the tropes more than Sidney loves hockey, so. LOTS OF RECS, is what I'm saying.

[paxpinnae]

Man, what is it with hockey RPF suddenly blowing up my friends list? First I learned figure skating because of Johnny Weir and Evan Lysacek, and now I need to learn another sport on ice? I mean, I'm not complaining, because I get to read fic and claim it's educational, but it'd be nice if fandom could decide that baseball was where it's at. Opening Day is only three months away!

Also, Okay, that's it, the internet is over. Let's all go learn croquet now. made me laugh so hard I scared the cat, and I'm not entirely sure why. I mean, it's no secret that the English language is your bitch, but that phrase. I want it on t-shirts and icons and possibly skywritten over San Diego during Comic Con. There is an irrational amount of love there, is what I'm saying.

[thefourthvine]

It's happening because hockey RPF is awesome, that's why. And, yes, totally educational; I have spent a LOT of time googling various hockey terms these past two weeks. (And I have learned things. Like, did you know FIGHTING IS LEGAL in hockey? I totally didn't, causing Frost to do the chat equivalent of a minute-long astonished stare. Also, they announce those fights like PORN, for serious. "He's on him! He's really going at him, yeah, they're going at it hard and fast, and he's just not ready for -" OH MY GOD PEOPLE DO YOU HEAR YOURSELVES?)

but it'd be nice if fandom could decide that baseball was where it's at

I am prepared to try to read it if fandom goes there! Although the only baseball player I can name is Babe Ruth, so. That would be a learning experience for me, too. (If baseball RPF becomes a thing, I am coming to you for answers!)

I want it on t-shirts and icons and possibly skywritten over San Diego during Comic Con. There is an irrational amount of love there, is what I'm saying.

YAY AND THANK YOU.

[risha]

I think that most RPF people have great sympathy for your squick, and indeed, many may have had the same problem at one time. I have at least one woman on my friends list that has said that she won't so much as watch interviews of bandom people, because if she did, they'd become real people and she'd never be able to write them ever again.

It took me months of full (fandom-)time RPF to get over the occasional squick relapse. Even now, years later, breaking the fourth wall can make me cringe. And I absolutely can't read anything with Grant Morrison in it (though I'm fine with Korse, the character he plays in My Chemical Romance videos). Why? No clue. Apparently my brain feels differently about comic books writers than it does musicians.

[thefourthvine]

Okay, so you had totally intelligent things to say about squicks, things I wanted to respond to, and then I got to the end of your comment and was like, "...Grant Morrison is in MCR videos? What - what is - I don't -" and now my brain is kind of broken.

THE STREAMS ARE CROSSING. Apparently. (Seriously? Grant Morrison is in MCR videos? SERIOUSLY?)

[sothcweden]

I completely agree about not wanting to meet celebrities. Even when I go to concerts I don't want to go to the stage door and get autographs and actually talk to them. I like celebrities to be at a distance.

I had a real revelation when I went to see Adam Lambert's Glam Nation concert the summer of 2010. Due to major money issues for many years, he was the first live act I'd seen since about 2005. What really struck me was that for many of the fans attending seemed to be about having Adam Lambert see them rather than the other way around. I had one guy (who was annoyed to be further back in the crowd) bitch that Adam hadn't come for and didn't need to see ugly old people like me and the lady next to me (I was 35 at the time), so we should move so Adam could see him and his friends. And when listening to the YouTube vid of a live performance of a haunting, soft, and single instrument/single vocalist piece, I can hear a few women screaming at the top of their lungs in the silent places, determined to be heard. Is this new? Is it the result of things like Twitter? Or has the cult of celebrity always been this way?

Also, if you can stand to see the word, have you read Carpetbaggers? It's a wonderful Narnia story.

[thefourthvine]

That's really bizarre. I mean, okay, it turns out that without a lot of drugs I can't handle crowds and noise well enough to go to concerts (unless they are, like, orchestra concerts), so I haven't been to one since I was a teenager. My memories are kind of out of date. But - I guess maybe some people really feel like they have a connection with the celebrity? And, um. No, seriously, it's beyond me. *wavy hands*

Also, if you can stand to see the word, have you read Carpetbaggers? It's a wonderful Narnia story.

I want to! I keep vacillating between OMG Cofax it's bound to be good and OMG it's going to break me. I - don't want to be broken, is the thing. But it sounds so amazing.

*vacillates more*

[silver_spotted]

hockey fic \o/

I have a friend who can only read fic about hockey players not on her favourite team (the Wild) because otherwise they'd be too real. So yeah, rpf-reading is a weird thing :)

[thefourthvine]

Hockey fic is the BEST!

And I totally love that I am hearing about all these squick-avoidance strategies people have. I FEEL MUCH LESS ALONE. Thank you!

[thingswithwings]

I have read/listened to maaaaaybe 12 ST XI RPF stories, but I've read A Passage That Sings twice. :) There's a great podfic of it, too, if the idea of listening to an RPF celebrities podfic doesn't make your internal organs want to crawl out of your mouth too badly. Penny's impersonation of Chris Pine talking to a dog is so good I want to have it auditorily framed.

And yaaaaaaaaaaay for The Pinocchio Fallacy! Oh gosh I love it also. In the end I think it's much better than croquet.

[thefourthvine]

There's a great podfic of it, too, if the idea of listening to an RPF celebrities podfic doesn't make your internal organs want to crawl out of your mouth too badly. Penny's impersonation of Chris Pine talking to a dog is so good I want to have it auditorily framed.

Oh god. I don't do podfic because I am the world's most visual, text-oriented person, and just do not, like, take information in if it is coming at me in speech (yes, this makes life delightful in many respects, for serious), but - but I want to hear that imitation. I have a feeling it would make my LIFE.

Off to download!

Oh gosh I love it also. In the end I think it's much better than croquet.

It is WORTH loving. I finished it the first time and actually had to go right back to the beginning because I just - she does so many awesome things in that, and I wanted to be sure I wasn't missing stuff, you know?

Way better than croquet. WAY better. I mean, I can't exactly be considered an expert, because the one time I played croquet, it was this old set that we found, and it turns out you're supposed to have more than one ball? So, yeah, not an expert. But I still feel very confident in saying: BETTER THAN CROQUET.

[out_there]

I don't really have an RPS squick, but I do have a lack of caring for the canon. Basically, I'll read the RPS for fandoms I'm reading (i.e. Star Trek reboot got me to read Chris Pine and Zach Quinto, current Glee obsession is getting me to read skintightsock's Darren Criss/Chris Colfer fic... partly because she writes awesome and awesomely funny smutty stories, and partly because I currently have one of those vaguely-embarrassing crushes on a celbrity I will never meet Darren Criss, stop being adorkable) but I don't last long. Even popslash was only a flirtation for a few months.

Mostly, I can rewatch an episode of something over and over and love it every time. But if I watch too many interviews with actual celebrities they feel like real people and I have very little love for most real people. (There aren't a lot of people I could be trapped on a desert island with and not want to kill by the second day. Not for food or anything, but just so I didn't have to constantly spend time with them. I handle people best in short bursts.)

But, what I was actually going to say, is if you want the feel/style of reading RPS without it really being about real people, there's a Glee AU set on American Idol which really hits both of those. I mean, the Idol judges are there but the story is all around fictional people, so it's not really RPS just a real-place setting. I can find the link if you want/haven't read it.

[thefourthvine]

I am so fascinated and amazed by everyone's different approaches to RPF.

But, what I was actually going to say, is if you want the feel/style of reading RPS without it really being about real people, there's a Glee AU set on American Idol which really hits both of those. I mean, the Idol judges are there but the story is all around fictional people, so it's not really RPS just a real-place setting. I can find the link if you want/haven't read it.

WHY YES I WOULD LIKE THAT LINK. It seems like something I could read! And, hey, I'd come out of it knowing more about AI than I did when I went in. (Right now I know that there's singing. And judges. Um. There you go.)

[ladysorka]

My personal RPF squick is strange and weird. I mean, I spent three years in bandom! I went to (way too many) concerts! I went to meet&greets (and didn't say anything other than 'hi' and 'thank you')! I was really into one of the extremely minor players, and she actually found my buzznet and left me comments, which was freaky, but I stayed in bandom! So logically I should not have an RPF squick. But I do.

I can't read fic about actors.

There's just something about the line between actor and character that's just... I can't do it. Musicians, sure. Sports stars, okay. Politicians, hell, I've read it. People like the Mythbusters, yes please. Actors, no. It makes no sense. And yet.

[thefourthvine]

Squicks mostly don't make sense, I think. I mean - if they were reasoned objections, they'd be meta, or at least fandom_wank. Instead they're just - visceral flinches. But I am totally fascinated by the actor-specific squick. If they ever set up the Squick Research Institute, you've got to join a study.

[lilacsigil]

I have an RPF and celebrities squick, too! Fortunately, I live in rural Australia and there's very little risk that I'll accidentally run into any. I don't mind when celebrities turn up in fics being their public persona (e.g. a fic about Janet Van Dyne from the Avengers where she chats to Tim Gunn about fashion design would be awesome!) but as soon as the fic is *about* the celebrity, I'm out. This goes a million times more for commercial celebrity RPF aka gossip magazines.

WWII is riiiiight on the edge of RPF squick for me - I'll read it if everyone involved is dead, but not if there's some still alive. WWI and earlier is fine!

[thefourthvine]

I don't mind when celebrities turn up in fics being their public persona

That never bothered me, either. (Witness the fact that I included John Travolta in a story I wrote with nary a wince.) Maybe our brains were manufactured in the same place! What's your model number?

WWII is riiiiight on the edge of RPF squick for me - I'll read it if everyone involved is dead, but not if there's some still alive. WWI and earlier is fine!

My line appears to be drawn roughly around my parents' births. WHO KNOWS WHY. My brain didn't come with a manual, and I suspect substandard work on the line.

[lannamichaels]

And humor! And - and, actually, you would totally read a story called Your College English Classes, Except with Hot Guys Banging, so don't even look at me that way. Just read this.

I totally want to write that fic, as soon as I figure out what fandom that should be in.

[paxpinnae]

That fandom totally exists, and it is called The History Boys. (Well, with "College Prep" instead of "College," and "History" instead of "English," but there are definitely Hot Guys Banging, so it may work for you!)

[toft]

:D thank you for reccing my story! I am delighted you liked it. I still have great ambivalence about RPF, and a squick about it that kicks in at very weird times. I feel that the Mythbusters guys are performing versions of themselves on TV and therefore are not real people, and when I read other RPF I tell myself that I am reading original fiction based on ideas of what famous people might be like that happen to use their name. That's how I make it through the day!

[thefourthvine]

That's how I make it through the day!

Here is the main thing I have learned from this post: everyone has her own RPF coping mechanisms. This is FASCINATING, is what it is. (And, yeah, totally, celebrities are performing their personas. This may actually be the source of my squick, come to think of it. Who knows? BRAINS ARE WEIRD.)

[astolat]

hahaha if it makes Best Beloved feel any better, I remain vaguely appalled at myself. (George Washington! SO WRONG!)

Also I second the rec for Carpetbaggers which is BRILLIANT.

[thefourthvine]

Just don't think about the George in the Hall of Presidents, or you'll NEVER SLASH AGAIN. (And it's Yuletide. You can't be appalled at yourself for things you write for Yuletide. I think it's in the official rules.)

Also I second the rec for Carpetbaggers which is BRILLIANT.

Okay, yes. I mean, Cofax, it's going to be. But. I just. I'm kind of a fan fiction lightweight, and I'm afraid the story will BREAK ME.

[brownbetty]

Oh my goodness! I…

I have RPF/celebrity geechiness too, although I am partially protected from it by not having a clue. So Hockey and boyband RPF I can usually sail through safely, at least until I encounter it repeatedly and my resistance is word down as I begin to know who these people are.

Which is to say, that Pine/Quinto is probably too close, but the rest of those could be space vampires, yay!

[thefourthvine]

Yay for at least temporarily being able to read this stuff! (Although you have given me an unsatisfied craving for the hockey guys as space vampires. CURSE YOU.)

[twtd]

I'm having the opposite problem happening to me right now because when I started reading RPF I had no squicks and now I'm developing them because I discovered I am too few degrees of separation from my RPF subject of choice. She's gone from being inaccessible-minor-celebrity-of-awesomenees to good-friend-of-an-acquaintiace. So far I can still read fic about her but writing it has become almost impossible.

[thefourthvine]

Oh my god, that's horrible. I mean - just, really, my skin is crawling for you, although possibly that's the celebrity squick talking. My condolences on your burgeoning squicks, though! And, um, you can come to the support group meetings?

[doctor_denmark]

It's immensely weird and amazing to me that suddenly there are a ton more people reading hockey fic, two years after I got dragged into the fandom. I'm glad you're enjoying it, and isn't My Siberia amazing?

[thefourthvine]

You built this great fandom and now all these newbies are showing up, forgetting to take their shoes off inside, getting Carey Price and Corey Perry mixed up. WOE. But you have all been super-awesome about it, so I thank you! (I have learned SO MUCH about hockey guys since making this post. Um, mostly that Ovechkin should not be allowed to dress himself and Tazer should not be allowed to do anything ever, but THOSE ARE THINGS I NEEDED TO KNOW.)

And My Siberia is TOTALLY amazing, yes. As is so much of the other hockey RPF I've read. And I absolutely salute the fandom's dedication to running ALL THE TROPES. That makes for a quality fandom, that does.

[mindyfromohio]

(Sadly, there is no story in which Crosby actually is an alien, and the concussion is really a symptom of him going into heat. You can't have everything, I guess.)

I WOULD TOTALLY READ THAT.

[thefourthvine]

FUCK YES. Over on LJ impertinence and jamjar are TORMENTING ME with visions of how awesome it could be, and the answer is: REALLY FUCKING AWESOME.

I am seriously pining over the lack of Alien Sidney in Heat stories in my life. PINING.

As lilacsigil said ...

[jenna_thorn]

the phrase "public persona" is key for me. It's the difference between the deliberate display of sequins and feathers on the red carpet (which I love) and badly framed long lens shots of someone in yoga pants in line at the grocery (which skeeves me completely out.)

Someone challenged me to explain why I could read (and write) LotRPs without tripping over my own privacy issues and so I had to actually think about it.

My thought was that there are several universes, several canons, if you will: (1) the books, which stand alone (I love what Jackson did, except for a few really important bits where I violently disagree) and include a proper Entmoot and Tom Bombadill and Faramir who was not tempted, (2) the nine+ hours of movies about Frodo and Mordor, (3) the nineteen hours of documentary starring Sala Baker and Peter Jackson and New Zealand who should have won for Best Supporting Actor, and includes canon like Bean walking up the mountain in costume because he wouldn't get in the helicopter and a whole bunch of surfing. For some folks, there's also (4) with Bean marrying someone from his local and ... um, crap, okay, I'm pretty sure Sean Astin has kids, and yeah, I don't know, mostly because four, for me, simply doesn't exist.

[wychwood]

Ahahahaha, this is hilarious

...in that I too! am another RPF squicker! Not as severe as you, but I can't deal with things where I know they are real people (see also: my allergy to gossip / celebrity magazines). I have now desensitised enough that I can read RPF in fandoms where I don't know anything about any of the characters.

ONLY I have also spent the last three years getting deeper and deeper into hockey fandom (THE KIND WHERE NO ONE IS DELIBERATELY WRITING SLASH FIC), so now I am utterly incapable of reading your new favourite fandom. I feel like there is some terrible wrongness coming at me from the universe.

(PS DID I MENTION THAT I AM A BLACKHAWKS FAN)
(IN FACT I AM WEARING TWO SEPARATE ITEMS OF BLACKHAWKS GEAR RIGHT NOW)
(BUT I CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT ANY OF THEM EVER HAVING SEX WITHOUT SKEEVING RIGHT OUT)

*cough*

Anyway. I can't touch the fic fandom side of things, but should you desire any clarification of hockey terminology, news stories, etc etc etc, I would be very happy to enlighten you! Also, there are many hilarious things in the traditional sports fandom side of things which I am sure you would greatly enjoy - (how about a recurring feature about hockey players hugging?? and it doesn't matter if you're faceblind because they have their names on their backs and identifying numbers on their backs, both arms, and the front and back of their helmets!)

[dine]

I am completely blown away by the number of people I know who have embraced hockey RPF in the past few weeks - I didn't mean to start a trend! I'd apologize for that, except I doubt anyone (including me) is really sorry about it

it's so cool that you've found an RPF fandom that works for you - may it be only the beginning, cause there are *so* many excellent stories in various fandoms awaiting you

[wintercreek]

I have some (but not insurmountable) trouble reading RPF about famous people as themselves, by which I mostly mean I can read the really good stuff while feeling weird about it. I do think I have an easier time reading AUs, and I have a rec if you want to try a Glee RPF AU: Calling Calling Calling Me is a San Francisco college AU that I enjoyed.

Also, I completely agree on a passage that sings - it's one of the two pieces of Star Trek RPF I've read, and it's so marvelous I couldn't help loving it. The other one, if you're curious, is l'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux which is short (~5000 words) and very much about magical realism.

[juliandarling]

Did not know hockey RPF was a thing, now it is MY THING.