thefourthvine | Slashy Nominations 70: Blink and You'll Miss It

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Slashy Nominations 70: Blink and You'll Miss It

I have got an awful song lodged in my head. An awful, awful, awful song. A song by Joni Mitchell. A song that is, in fact, my mother's favorite song.

So I am in no mood to fuck around. Hence a set of fast fic. Because it's the fic that doesn't fuck around.

Best FF Introducing One Concept Comics Desperately Need and One Concept Fandoms Desperately Need: The Color Pink, by

basingstoke. DCU, and it's slash without a pairing - a whole new, um, ballgame. And I didn't mean that the way it sounded. So, can I just say that every single possible fandom should have a story in which one of the characters checks out the LotR boys? Think about it, people! Ray ogling Boromir, Fraser agonizing over deviations from the book to the point that he forgets to warn Ray that Boromir dies. Danny secretly buying all three editions of all three movies, plus a poster, and Casey finding out ('cause Danny'd have to have it delivered to his office, since he's never, you know, at his home), and banter ensuing. Bobby and St. John on a movie date ("It's not a date." "It's a movie date." "It's just a movie! No date!") watching Return of the King. Weird metaslash in which the actual book Aragorn watches the movies and says "It was not like that at all, at all. That is not it, at all." There's no end to the joy this could bring! OK. Maybe that's just me. But even if the idea of Kon + Tim + Fellowship of the Rings is not appealing to you (although, for the record, that would make you freakishly strange, possibly even mutant), this story should be. Because: pink kryptonite (that's the thing mentioned in the title that every comic should have). And Batman being so Batman, and Tim...Tim...look, just read this. It makes me giggly and incoherent, folks; it's just that good.

Best FF That Gave Me New Insight into a Character and Taught Me a Whole New Sporting Concept That Will Surely Find Its Way into Many of My Conversations in the Near Future: The Prevent Defense, by

scribblinlenore, who I forgive for her user name even though it makes me recite Poe every time I see it, because, hey, it's better than Joni Mitchell. Sports Night, Danny/Casey. Ish. You know, I read a lot of drabbles. (Well, we all do. I'm not claiming that's special or anything; I'm just saying.) And most of them inspire one of three thoughts: "Hey, there's a great story idea in here - it just needs an extra thousand words to flesh it out!" or "Was there a point to this? A point that I am missing?" or "What the hell was that?" But this drabble kicks ass. It makes me remember why I read all the bad drabblage out there - so that I can find the occasional tiny, perfectly-done gem like this one. What happens here? Casey's thinking of sports, but he's thinking about Danny. You know, the usual. But what the writer has done with that is unusual. And impressive.

Best FF Featuring a Werewolf Who Should Really Think about the Precedent He's Setting, but Won't, Because We Didn't Either at That Age. Or, for That Matter, at This Age.: Weakness, by

enarte. Harry Potter, Remus Lupin/Sirius Black. It's a look back at Sirius and Remus as they once were, before...well, before pretty much everything. And yet we can already see, in this small piece of fic, their entire future together. Sirius is just a little young for his age, just a little thoughtless, and Remus is forgiving but not forgetting. This story shows us why the interlude in Grimmaud Place couldn't be any more than an interlude (and I believe that even if I still resent JKR for writing Sirius so that it had to be that way, and then killing him off just, apparently, for fun). We also see the reason why Remus keeps walking away, moving on instead of fighting - or at least we have proof that he's always been doing that. This is a totally believable young Sirius and Remus, in other words, and teeny canon violations in no way undermine that.

Best FF Featuring a Superintendent of Schools Who Is Going to Learn Just How Totally Outclassed He Really Is: These Aren't the Droids, by

c_elisa. X-Men movies, gen. We began this set with a story from a comics-based fandom and containing a reference to a popular movie, and we're ending it the same way. Here we see why Xavier doesn't have to be evil, why he can afford to be better than that - how he is fundamentally different from Magneto not just because he's good in the moral sense, but because he's good in the skills sense. Xavier, my friends, is the original man with all the answers, and the sad part is that he usually doesn't even pull them from other people's brains. Who needs Jedi mind control when you've got Xavier spin control? Not this passel of mutants, I tell you. Go. Read. Admire. May I join you?

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Weird metaslash in which the actual book Aragorn watches the movies and says "It was not like that at all, at all. That is not it, at all."

Oh God, now I want to read that. Metafic can be so much fun.

Yay! Slowly but surely I am spreading my madness. Soon it will all be in the brains of others, and then surely it will leave me alone?

(No, since you ask, I am not even remotely worried about the fact that I sound like an insane comic book villain.)

Now we must find someone we can blackmail into writing book!Aragorn being shocked, shocked and horrified by movie!Aragorn. Know any dirty secrets about FF writers?

(See, if you were an insane comic book villian you wouldn't be aware of your insanity. Just look at Batman.)

Now I want to take a character from the beginning of a season and sit him down in front of the TV and make him watch the end of a season. Say, introduce first season Willow to big, scary season 6 Willow.

Oh, medieval myth!King Arthur and Bruckheimer!King Arthur, to take my current obsession.

*hides from the plotbunnies*

Sadly I don't know enough LotR writers, and I have no blackmail material on the ones I know.

Ooooo. That's so excellent. Now you've got my brain in this whole horrible metaspace, where first season Xander sees seasons 2-6 and decides he'll go gay before all his relationships end badly ("If I'm going to treat anyone like that, or get treated like that, I want it to be that Spike guy that does it, or that I do it to. Because he's a vampire, so he totally deserves it - no guilt! Plus, cheekbones."), and Harry reads up to OotP and then has a fit: "What do you mean the others aren't written yet? What am I supposed to do, just leave my life hanging for however long it takes her to get around to it? And do you know what freaks on the internet get up to with me in the meantime?"

And then there's Danny seeing The West Wing and having a nervous breakdown over whichever character it is that is supposedly a carbon copy of him. ("Danny, is that guy a sportscaster?" "No." "Is his name Danny?" "No." "Then I don't really see the problem." "Casey, he talks like me! He acts like me! He has the same background as me! He - is - me! I thought I was unique, Casey!" "Oh, trust me, we all think that. Or hope that, anyway.")

Let's not even talk about my vision of Bodie and Doyle doing reviews of later cop TV shows, because that is just too scary. Although I'd love to hear Jack Sparrow's opinions on other pirates through the ages.

So, our mission is clear, then. We will begin the "We Blackmail Because We Love" project.

Step one: gather incriminating and/or embarrassing material on authors we admire. Be creative! Be wily! No fandom too strange! Make full use of modern technology!

Step two: force them to write metastrangeness to our exacting standards.

Step three: chortle and rub our hands together.

Step four: repeat.

Are you with me?

(See? I am indeed a Batman villain. You may call me Fanfic Girl.)

*cackles*

I am way ahead of you. You know how you get writers? Challenges. Authors love mad challenges.

The "Metafic O' Doom" challenge.

Make bookverse characters meet their movieverse incarnations, or the other way around. Fastforward and let them see their future. Introduce canon!Spike to fanon!Spike.

Isn't there quite a difference between bookverse and Master&Commander, too?

Comic Lana Lang and Smallville Lana.

Omg! Pre-crisis Jason Todd meets post-crisis Jason. With ensuing hilarity of comical proportions.

Glee!

(This gives new meaning to batshit insane.)

Oh, god. Jack Sparrow encounters Keith Richards, or whoever that one guy is from the Rolling Stones who he was based on. No, wait: Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp, and Keith Richards getting drunk together! It's a disturbing yet delightful blend of RPS, FPS, metafic, and madness!

The only thing I can picture anyone getting really snarky about in book v. movie M&C is the violin playing, which Russell Crowe totally sucked at faking. ("I cannot believe they have allowed someone so entirely unmusical to portray me." "Now, Joy, 'tis not so terrible as that, surely. I understand he is a member of an orchestra, so he must have some musical skill." "It was a band, she said, not an orchestra. A band with an entirely ridiculous name. I tell you, I feel it very deeply, Steven.") Well, also I bet Maturin and Aubrey would wonder where so many of their friends were, and at some of the weirder chronological variations.

Oh, I long to hear comics-Rogue's commentary on movie-Rogue. It's practically a need.

And as for Clark Kent, well, there are about 18 versions of him to be introduced to each other. Wacky hijinks would surely follow!

Yay! I have surrendered to the madness, and am the happier for it. We must surely spread this joy. A challenge it is. I suggest "The Batshit Crazy Metafic o' Doooooom Challenge" as a name, but I'm willing to shorten it if you prefer it that way.

(We are, clearly, the two-faced menace of fandom. And we have this in common with other Batbaddies: we're having way more fun than the broody, sullen good guys. Shall we chortle together?)

Keith Richards will play Jack's father in part two!

All comic, TV, and movie incarnations of Batman meeting at Batmoot Convention.

I need this challenge. Fandom needs this challenge. We shall convince everyone of our superior madness and make no prisoners. Muahaha.

"The Batshit Crazy Metafic o' Doooooom Challenge" it is. We have to do this. It is imperative.

(I even have an icon for the occasion: Janus-faced Psycho be its name.)

*hee* Batmoot!

*snerk* Keith Richards playing Jack's father. No, wait. Were you serious? That wasn't serious, was it?

So, how shall we phrase our challenge? Because the concept is a bit vague, and while we do want to confuse people, we want it to be the right kind of confusion.

Possible text for editing, modifying, or hating:

acari and

thefourthvine have lost their minds. They'd like to take you with them. And what better way than with a big honkin' multi-fandom challenge?

The challenge: Go meta. Suggestions:

Have various incarnations of characters confront each other. Examples: Book!Aragorn v. movie!Aragorn. Comics!Superman v. movie!Superman v. TV!Superman. Every single Batman incarnation meeting at a Batmoot (suggested title: "Batman Has HOW Many Faces?").
Have actors and characters meet. Examples: Jack Sparrow getting wasted with Johnny Depp (bonus points if you can throw in Keith Richards!). Every single Orlando Bloom character meeting Bloom himself (suggested title: Conversations with That Wanker Bloom). Brad Pitt getting his ass kicked (or, um, other things) by the real Achilles (book version, of course).
Go where no meta has gone before. We'll all love you the more for it.

Still not clear? For more examples, or more plot bunnies than you can stand to face, visit the Thread That Started the Madness (http://www.livejournal.com/users/thefourthvine/21246.html?thread=265726#t265726).

The players: All fandoms, all pairings, all ratings.

The rules: Um, should we have a word limit? A due date? An archive of submitted stories on the web somewhere? Not so good with the practicalities, me. I lack experience with challenges (though I adore the results).

And where should we issue this challenge? And how? Hmmm. Feeling bogged down in the details. Back to you, Acari.

Not kidding about Keith Richards.

ComingSoon.net has also confirmed with a very reliable source that Johnny Depp's wish has come true. Rolling Stones' Keith Richards will indeed play Captain Jack Sparrow's dad in the sequel. As you probably know by now, Depp modeled Sparrow in the first film after the musician. (source) (http://www.comingsoon.net/news.php?id=4739)

The text sounds good to me. I think people will catch up on that we want them to go as mad as humanly possible.

Okay, details. I'm shamelessly copying the proceedings of the Day After Tomorrow Challenge (http://www.livejournal.com/users/anniesj/253657.html).

1000 words minimum word count, what do you think? 500 is a bit short. I have webspace for an archive (if this ends up being big), there's some nifty link script so I don't have to code anything (am laziest archivist ever).

Deadline: Two month? Fics due September, 1st.

Okay, we announce the challenge and interested writers leave us a comment (with a possible fandom/idea/whatever so we see if there actually is interest)

Then we'll do a masterlist post and the authors leave the URL to their stories.

We issue the challenge in either yours or my LJ and then pimp it to a couple of communities and get it announced in the various fandom newsletters. The Lotrips one is already covered since I run it. *g*

Sounds good? Well, I have never managed a challenge before either. Eeek.

Your LJ, is my thought, as it's more writerly, but I will post a link here.

I'm not so much on the technicalities of the writing process so I'm stringing along with you on the word limit and the due date. September it is. We will celebrate the end-of-summer crazies in a way that will scar us forever.

Pimping will be a problem, though, as I have posting access to exactly 0 fanfic-related communities. I will, of course, pimp here. Perhaps I should take this as an opportunity to obtain posting access to a community or two? Hmmm. What this world needs is a central community for multifandom challenges. That would make pimping so much easier. But it will not come in time to save us, so I will have to move forward on the posting-access plan.

This has got to be the world's worst challenge to be issued by two challenge virgins. So we are correctly aligned with our insanity axis. Go us!

Amateur insanity at its finest. Wacky challenges R us.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/acari/217934.html
What you say? It's locked to you only.

When do you want to unleash the madness? I'll be offline for a week or so starting this Friday.

since we'll be linking to this post everyone will be able to read our amateur planing. befitting this challenge, I think.

Totally befitting this challenge. And the post is very nearly perfect. Except that the last bulleted point is missing its bullet. (The one that starts "Go where no meta...") And are we giving two months or one? I thought two, but September 1 would be one. Either way is, of course, good for me.

Besides that? I think it captures the spirit of our insanity remarkably well.

I think we should unleash the madness tomorrow. Or on the first of August. Why not? It's not like we're going to get more experienced or anything. And if we wait too long, we might think better of it.

And then it will be time for dark deeds late at night. Involving digital cameras and extra-legal searches and entrapment. So, no, better to go with this now, while there's still some hope for us.

Except that the last bulleted point is missing its bullet. (The one that starts "Go where no meta...")

I blame lack of sleep, but what do you mean? Must be one of my English-challenged moments.

Two months would be November of course. Duh. And I'll post it tomorrow since I won't be online in the first week of August and thinking too much about this may stop us.

Authors across LJ should rejoice since we won't have to resort to blackmailing, then. We're doing this for the benefit for all fen. *nods*

So should I post it, then?

Yup!

I wandered over from

makesmewannadie's pimping of this challenge.

What this world needs is a central community for multifandom challenges.

I just wanted to mention that you might want to check out

challengefinder. It's multifandom and I think everyone has access to post. If not, let me know and I'll drop the mod a line and have her give this a pimp there.

Excellent idea!

OMG the Aubrey dialogue! *falls over dead from laughing* I LURVE you! You are teh BESTEST! *runs off to pimp challenge*

Oh *please* write the Xander slash. Please, please, please!

Alas, I cannot. If you're wondering why I cannot, well, I've posted an instructive example. I actually tried to write said fic, and I've posted it in my journal, locked so that only you - I hope to god - can see it.

After you read it, assuming you read it, I think you'll agree that the world is a better place when I don't write fic.

So. *encouraging poke* Why don't you write it? *blinky eyes* Please?

Someone, I'm pretty sure it was

theodosia, wrote a piece for

ds_flashfiction that was about F, K, Frannie, and maybe a couple other folks going to see one of the LotR movies. Found it! It's The Fellowship Goes South (http://www.livejournal.com/community/ds_flashfiction/153477.html), and I think you will *very* much enjoy it.

*hee*

Yes, I did enjoy it, and I am so glad you pointed me towards it. Thank you.

(Its subtitle should really be "Ray and Fraser Discover Subtext." One assumes there will be a sequel in which they attend The Two Towers, discuss the scene where Legolas does everything short of kissing Aragorn full on the mouth, and bring up notable instances of their own past which were quite, quite similar. Because I hear there were some.)

I am now horribly, horribly addicted to X-Men fanfiction.

Although it doesn't cost money like the comics do. And St. John and Bobby so rarely get it on in canon. *sigh*

*snerk* Um, yes, there was a point to this comment but it's gone now. Wait, no, you're getting me into too many fandoms! I used to have a nice, sensible two and suddenly I'm reading Teen Titans fanfic when I haven't ever read a DCU comic in my life. Confusing, let me tell you :D

Anyways, thanks for all the amazing recs [in case you couldn't tell I've lurked here for awhile]. Keep it up!

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Slashy Nominations 70: Blink and You'll Miss It

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