thefourthvine | Poll: When fan fiction meets real life, what happens?

I answered Yes. The whole deal - the smut, the perversion, the orgies. because my husband does know that I read smut and slash, but I'm pretty sure he isn't aware of just how smutty some of it is. I don't think he would be too bothered, but I don't see the point in telling him "I just read about Ron, Harry, and Draco having sweaty underage butt-sex!"

He's generally supportive of my fannishness; for example, he hasn't read the HP books but went to see PoA with me knowing very well that this was the story of the gay werewolf's reunion with his long lost love.

RL friends - one good friend and I discovered fanfiction around the same time, and she used to write fic, including some fairly explict h/c slash. So she knows all and will even listen to me talking about new fandoms she doesn't follow!

Last year I told some RL friends about a LOTR knitting project, and to make a long story short, I think that probably led to two of them finding my LJ. They never said anything, and I don't know if that's because they were appalled or uninterested or what. I worried about it for a short time but then I decided that for the most part I didn't really care if these particular friends knew. Though eventually I might talk to them about it, because if they are appalled I guess I would like to try to explain about my fannish life.

I think the lesson there is that RL friends and family who know about "harmless" fan interests might have opportunities to connect that to an online persona. But I find it difficult and boring to both completely hide my fannishness in RL, and to remove all traces of my RL from my online activities.

as someone who just recently invited a real-life, pre-fandom friend to view this rather fannish LJ

I meant to ask - how did that go?

There is one RL person that I would like to introduce to fan fiction, but since as far as I know she doesn't even know it exists, I'm not sure how to bring it up without making an Important and Awkward Announcement.

ooooh. Good, seriously interesting poll! Pretty much everybody in my life knows, b/c I'm surrounded by gay men who find my hobby strange, but interesting, and they tend to be helpful with, uh. Technical questions. But most of my family doesn't know, and I've started to get twitchy about the fact that if you google my email, it's REALLY OBVIOUS who I am (mostly b/c I have a 9 year old sister who's becoming rapidly internet savvy). Gonna have to do something about that...

Oddly enough, most of the writers in my department got their start in fanfiction, so when someone caught sight of a piece of slash fanart taped to someone's planner and yelled, "DUDE, Harry/Draco is totally my OTP too!" there were at least twenty writers clustered in a group chattering about fandom and slash and porn and...it was really quite mind-boggling.

My mother found out that I wrote fanfiction, years and years ago, and effectively banned me from the internet for a long, long time.

I answered "other" on the "who knows and how'd they take it questions." Most of my friends know I write LOTR fanfiction. One of them, and my guy, know I write smut. The rest of them may think I write smut, or they may think I'm kidding when I laughingly mention staying home to write pr0n. The guy knows I write boy/boy smut; the pal knows I like boy/boy smut. None of them know I write RPS, and I don't think they think the fanfic is smutty. Which, unless you count RPS as fanfic, it isn't.

Oh, and my mom knows I write boy/boy relationships in a collaborative writing community, but I've never actually told her it was smutty.

They all seem to think it's a good hobby. :)

I answered "everyone knows", but that isn't quite true - people I work with don't know, etc. Well, they know I'm a geek (it'd be hard to miss the action figures on my desk), but the full extent.

However, my immediate family and most of my friends know - but there was no outing required, not that I remember. I mean, when I was 13, my mother would leave me notes by the computer that said things like: "I bookmarked a Janeway/Chakotay I think you'd like." and said fic would be NC-17. She doesn't do slash, but she knows I do and has no problem with it.

My little sister writes anime het and yaoi.

My Dad things we're all a little nuts, but can cheerfully go on about someone we're related to who died in 1689 for hours, so we ignore him.

And most of my friends I either met through fandom or some other sort of geeky activity.

So, yeah. Not really an issue.

Quite a few RL friends know -- ranging from disinterest, to mild disdain -- and my ex knows, thoroughly disapproves (I think he's more anti the anonymity, and the fact that I don't spam slash stuff all over my 'real' LJ) and keeps trying to 'out' me, which is worrying only because of his motives -- there's worse stuff he knows about me: most people he could out me to would not be at all bothered.

Does that make sense? Words not doing their thing tonight.

Just clarifying a couple of things. I've told a number of RL friends about the fanfic, and responses have ranged from squicked but accepting to "Wanna read my Spike/Buffy epic?" I checked all the applicable boxes for question #6.

Also, as you probably know, my Someone Special is not only supportive, she is my beta reader. She's even started writing the occasional fic herself.

If you've got a Someone Special, does that person know you're into fan fiction, slash, etc.?

As it happens, my girlfriend not only is into slash, she commented above. *kisses

commodorified* So, yeah. My Someone Special knows I'm into slash. I beta for her, actually.

Does anyone in your real life (besides that Someone Special, if applicable) know about this fan fiction/slash/smut thing?

I really don't seperate my fannish life and my real life at all. My roommate, who I originally met in online SF fandom (The Lois Bujold mailing list to be specific) is a fanfic and slash reader. We regularly jokingly refer to ours as "the slashiest household ever"

Most of my friends these days are fannish, but not all of them. Some are in different aspects of fandom, ie traditional book-based SF fandom and such. I make no secret of the fact that I'm a fanfic fan and that I read slash as well as het. Kind of like my sexuality, I don't go out of my way to bring it up, but if it comes up I'm happy to discuss it and I don't lie, but I may be more or less circumspect depending on what I expect to be the response/comfort level of the other party.

Like

commodorified said, when I don't talk about something its mostly out of respect for other people's comfort levels not out of concerns for keeping things secret. So, for example, my mother knows I read and edit slash and she even knows my fandoms, it comes up in conversation sometimes and while she doesn't understand it, she doesn't have a problem with it. My father knows I'm fannish and has heard me mention fanfic and that my girlfriend writes fanfic, but its not something he'd be interested in discussing with me, so it just doesn't come up much and when it does I say less then I would to my mother.

If you've told someone from your real life about this whole fan fiction/slash/smut thing, how did he or she take it?

I've really never had a problem with this. I tend to work gradually into explanations with people who's reaction I'm not sure of but I also never apologize for or demean my own fannishness and the combination seems to have served me well.

On the other hand, I am also blessed with a liberal family. I move in a mostly fannish friend group and I live in one of the more liberal cities out there, so I recognize that I'm very lucky in those ways.

Does anyone in your real life (besides that Someone Special, if applicable) know about this fan fiction/slash/smut thing?

In some of my communities, I'm out about slash -- and have found that the unlikeliest people are also into slash.

In others (such as my birth family), I'm so far into the closet that they don't even know I'm in the house.

And yes, I keep a strict separation between those communities.

Also, the joy of sharing with your Someone Special? If you're lucky (and I am), your SS will want to play, too. My husband now wears slash-colored glasses to the movies with me.

Just a little more info on my answers. My husband knows in a general way that I read slash. I don't think he knows that I write it. It's sort of a don't ask/don't tell situation.

I got my best RL friend hooked on fanfic, but she likes het pairings more than slash. Still, we talk about fanfic a lot.

My most recent ex was never into it, but he certainly approved of my involvement. He used to love when I'd finish reading something and head over to him, with my pupils dilated, and give some rather explicit instructions on how I wanted him to fuck me.

As for my friends, most know as much as they want to know, some even enjoy story recs. Others aren't interested so we don;t talk about it. Often I'll try to find out a friend's kink and supply stories of that sort. Btw, does anyone have any ready good lesbian stories in the whedonverse?

My fandom/fic/slash life is strictly separate from all other slices of the life-pie. A few RL people know that I have "HoYay" filters on when I watch TV or movies, and they're tolerant--even amused.

I have some fear of being outed for writing smutty slash, partly because I work in an oh-so-politically-correct, public-sector environment where it could be embarrassing to the point of job-loss.

Okay, this is where it gets fun...

I've lived with this person for 7 years, we've been together for 13 years, but the relationship is dead, dead, dead. I'm basically still here because I'm differently employed and he pays the rent.

No, he does not know I write slash. He would be mortifed and horrified if he did.

The people in my life that know about the slash, knew me as a slash writer before I met them in person. No one that is strictly from RL and has no contact with my VL knows about the slash. I suspect one or two would be okay with it, but I'm not taking that chance.

Like others, these days all of my friends are slashers I've either met online, or been introduced to by other slashers.

The only non-slasher who knows I slash is my little brother (now turning 18) who's very cool about it (and, I think, views it as an eccentricity of mine). He's fun to watch stuff with because he sees the slash, even though he's got no interest in reading/writing/fandom/etc.

Let me just say: I met my ex girlfriend on livejournal writing slash. I know at least three committed lesbian couples who met on livejournal writing slash. The livejournal slash scene is the most fantastic dyke dating service EVER.

That said, even the suggestion that I write and publish erotica (content unspecified) has scared men I've dated in the past. Though unfortunately I have a history of choosing men who could use some moral fibre weetbix in the morning, so, hey.

My ex-university friends are my biggest fans, though I wouldn't consider telling the married Christian high school friends. I showed my brother (a journalist) some of my work, with my heart in my mouth, but he was merely polite and completely incomprehending.

My social situation is unique I guess. I have a group of close friends. About half of us are all into fanfiction and specifically slash. So very often when two or more of us get together conversation descends into fandom chatter. The half that aren't into have a range of irritated tolerance towards it. I have told a few of my other friends, but only those that I knew would be cool with it. Oh, and my parents know strangely enough. They are befuddled (especially because I'm a lesbian who reads slash) but they are used to it with me. We don't talk about it though.

*waves hello*

I left a message introducing myself a few weeks back, and given your rant about a dodgy internet connection thought I'd just say hello again. I love your recs, although I don't read all the fandoms you like.

In fact, my two favourite fandoms, currently, are Smallville and rps. You probably aren't interested, but I have two rec communities:

rec_room which is multi-fandom (don't let the recent rps posts fool you, it's predominantly fps), and

lotr_squee which is lotrips. I mainly write lotrips, so I doubt you will ever read anything I write :)

I have been burning to know if *you* write fanfic though?

Thanks for doing such an entertaining job of this LJ. Your recs are as readible as the stories!

Er. Elaborating on the "What's your most serious current relationship?" question.

I'm somewhere between "dating seriously" and "together for eternity." It's kind of complicated. I'm in a triad (a three-person relationship in which each person is seeing the other two--in my case, generally all three see each other together) and we've been together for three years, and we've pretty much decided that we can't live without being connected to one another. We don't see each other all that often, so I'd hesitate to say we've got a marriage-type thing (besides the fact that "marriage" is something we've never wanted, because it implies exclusivity, and while we're fidelitous to each other in the sense that we're loyal, it's an open relationship and we're free to see other people, provided the triad always comes first, priority-wise) but I wouldn't say we're just dating seriously, either, because it's a thoroughly committed relationship, and more to the point, we've never really had what most people would define as a "date" to begin with.

Damn. Who ever guessed such a simple question would require such a complicated answer?

my other to how they take it: no one in real life fandoms/no one cares. though, i guess i lied. my group of lesbian friends (dyke here) all had me write willow/tara for them. i forgot. but they were hardcore gamer geeks, so they understood fandom limitedly.

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