thefourthvine | Slashy Nominations 106: Mix It Up

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Slashy Nominations 106: Mix It Up

I'm going to be out of town for a few days, and I'm experiencing my usual pre-trip discombobulation as a result. (Actually, I'm mostly wondering why the hell I did this and what I was thinking and how I can avoid ever doing it again. I don't like traveling. Hell, in my ideal universe I wouldn't even have to leave my house.) I'm also doing the so-much-to-do-that-I-can't-do-any-of-it panic. What happens when you combine procrastination and panic and impending separation from the internet? Well, at least in these parts, recommendations sets. In this case, a crossover set, because I have a huge list of fantastic FF in this category that I've shamefully neglected lately. And also because slightly surreal stories are excellent preparation for this trip.

Best FF That Proves That There Are Things You Always Want to Remember, and Things You'd Love to Forget. And You Don't Know What Screwed Means Until You Have a Memory That Falls into Both Categories. The Complication of Memory, by Jennifer-Oksana, aka

jennyo*. Angel x Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (and you'll need to be at least somewhat familiar with both canons for this to work), Wesley Wyndham-Pryce/Lilah Morgan. Yes, het. Canon het. I'm not the least bit sorry. And neither will you be when you read this. That goes even for die-hard slashers, because the sex is so not the point here. The real draw of this story is - well, put it this way: this just may be the archetypal crossover vignette. It blends two universes that you'd think had nothing to say to each other, and does that without changing a thing about either of them. And it makes a point about both canons in the process. I suppose I should mention that this story is an overtaken-by-events AU; I think (I'm not sure, mind you, but wouldn't you be surprised if I was?) the events of the last episode of Angel rendered this story an impossibility. But, hey, who cares? Anyway, this road is probably the better way to go. Although maybe not for Wes.

Best FF That Will Burn into Your Brain a Number of Mental Images You'd Pay Good Money to Get Burned out Again. For Example, Rip Torn and Tommy Lee Jones Perving on Will Smith's Ass. See? Now You Want a Neuralyzer, Don't You? Well, You Won't Get One; I'm Not Going Through This Alone. Decoy, by Julian Lee, aka

julianlee*. Men in Black x Smallville, J/K, Clark Kent/Lex Luthor. This crossover makes perfect sense, provided you've been keeping to a regular regime of Disbelief Suspension Mental Yoga, which is pretty much a mandatory practice for reading any crossover. Why does it make sense? Well, consider the facts. Clark Kent: alien! The Men in Black: cope with aliens! Lex Luthor: wears well-tailored suits! The Men in Black: also wear suits, although generally not purple ones! Smallville: regularly ravaged by mutant aggressive weirdos! The Men in Black: suspiciously fond of the oeuvre of Elvis Presley! So what could be more natural than a combination of the two? I mean, besides everything. Because - well, look back up at the pairing list. Yes, you're reading that right - this story involves J and K getting, well, together. And maybe I just failed my slash detection roll - highly unusual for me - but I've never, not even once, thought "they are so doing it" while watching Men in Black. And, frankly, the mere thought of K engaging in acts of...I'm sorry. I can't even write it. Nor can I bring myself to write about Zed, who can arrange an extraterrestrial anal probe at the drop of a hat, taking an unhealthy interest in J's...um. Fortunately for me, though, the sex isn't all that explicit, and in any case the story is amusing enough that it's well worth the occasional unavoidable thought of - you know. Those. Those things we won't discuss anymore, because I want to retain full use of my limited mental faculties, and I'm pretty sure my brain will opt out of further communication with me if I keep subjecting it to these sorts of thoughts.

Best FF That Proves Two Things: First, That Even in Gen No Intelligent Human Can Avoid Wondering About the Relationship Between Jim and Blair, and, Second, That There Actually Are a Few Bad Things That Haven't Yet Happened to Daniel Jackson. In the Canon, I Mean. Lovely, by Martha, aka

soulcake. The Sentinel x Stargate SG-1, gen. There's a lot to love about this story. Lots and lots, and not just the plot and the characterization; this is definitely a case of god being in the details. I knew I was going to like this piece as soon as I saw how Martha handled the meeting of Daniel Jackson and Blair Sandburg. And I knew I was going to love it when the aliens showed up. (No, I don't need to tell you which aliens; you'll definitely know them when you meet them.) And then there's the whole crossover thing - this is another story in which both universes retain all their characteristics without sacrificing realism. And this is, for once, a Stargate crossover that really works. For some reason, that fandom is highly resistant to incursion from other canons; most crossovers involving SG-1 just feel forced. Or maybe unbalanced. But that's not true here, which proves that a) Martha is a great writer and b) Jim and Blair are very flexible and can easily slide in anywhere. (I know, bad pun, but it's true. Half the stories on my crossover list involve The Sentinel.)

Best FF That Proves That Guy Talk Is the Conversational Equivalent of Hilton Hotels: the Same Wherever You Go, and Not Especially Interesting or Fun Unless You Mix in a Lot of Sex. Ego Collision, by

lynnmonster. Due South x Hard Core Logo, Billy Talent/Ray Kowalski/Joe Dick.

lynnmonster has a scary superpower: she can write the unwriteable story. This woman has written great tentacle porn and mpreg wingfic and even feathercock, which last hideous mutant subgenre I had never even known existed until she wrote in it. In short, she is a menace to the sanity of the human race and we should all treasure her. But if you're also scared by her - in which case you're a lot smarter than I am, or a lot closer to the beginning of your Inevitable FF-Related Morals Decline - don't worry. This one isn't quite as improbable or disturbing as the ones I mentioned above; it's just, well, OK. A little weird, maybe. Because we're talking about sex between two characters played by the same actor (plus a third character played by an entirely different actor), for one thing, and then there's what I think of as the Unbearable Weirdness of Hard Core Logo, a film that features animal sacrifice and suicide and rape and yet is still a comedy. But despite all this strangeness, this story is not even slightly crackfic. I totally buy this aged-down version of Ray Kowalski, and the rest of the story is so realistic and right and in-character that...well, I'm not going into any more detail; I'll just say that if you've done your time in the scuzzier kind of club you'll feel right at home with this story, and if you've got knowledge of both canons, you'll feel right at home with the characters.

And that's it for this time. See you all on Wednesday. 'Til then, read a little extra FF for me, OK?

* Thanks,

auster and

flambeau!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Jennifer-Oksana is

jennyo. And thanks for the link to the SG/TS crossover; hadn't seen that one yet!

Thanks!

And Martha's writing a slash sequel to Lovely. It's called Tatters, and you can find all the parts posted so far at her slash website (http://www.skeeter63.org/~soulcake/slash/slash.html); new chapters go up first on her LJ (

soulcake. (And if you do read it, please let me know what you think; I've got a severe case of WiP-phobia, so I'm trying to hold off 'til it's finished.)

It's fantastic. Really. You wouldn't think you could do SG/TS/Angel, and yet... it totally works.

She did threaten to bring in dS at one point, but we're almost to the end and I think she's successfully resisted.

Oh, thank you for the link to Tatters -- I really enjoyed "Lovely" and I'm happy to see that there's a sequel in progress. If I don't forget, I'll let you know what I think :)

That'd be

jennyo and

julianlee. :)

Oh, lord. I don't so much blame myself for not getting

jennyo's, but it's sort of embarrassing that I didn't get Julian Lee's, inasmuch as she is already on my friends list.

Can I plead late-night pre-trip jitters and sleeplessness? Um. Anyway. Thanks very much for being informative and refreshing my shockingly lax memory.

In short, she is a menace to the sanity of the human race and we should all treasure her.

*nodsnodsnods*! That's our

lynnmonster! I swear to god, whenever conversations go weird places, there's always this moment of panic and someone says, "Oh my god - DON'T TELL THIS TO LYNN!" Which, of course, never works, and then there's feathercock, and Lynn always finds someone else to blame it on.

It's a talent, really.

Yay Recs!

Have a good trip, my little wombat, and write when you get back!

"...this story is an overtaken-by-events AU; I think (I'm not sure, mind you, but wouldn't you be surprised if I was?) the events of the last episode of Angel rendered this story an impossibility."

The term of art for this is Jossed. Usage: This story was written before the series finale, but it's been Jossed. OR, I want to write a post-ep for that, and I need to do it before my idea gets Jossed. Fr. Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy, Angel, and Firefly, fandoms which experience Jossing on a regular basis.

[/word nerd]

Ooh, you've found one of the few good Stargate crossovers. You'd think it'd be easy, what with the portal to different worlds and all, but no, it would seem not. Come on fandom, take advantage of your canon! Not in a bad way. Unless that's how your tastes run.

(If you've been intrigued by the TS/SG-1 in 'Lovely' there, can I reccommend Actualize This (http://www.handbasketholidays.com/stories/actualize.htm)? It's also a TS/SG-1 crossover, with a little of The Invisible Man thrown in, and is much more lighthearted than 'Lovely.' I waxed...long on it over here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/lite_bright/126067.html). )

Wow. It's not just a TS/SG crossover, it's TS/SG/Lovecraft. And a Lovecraft to which I have a special professional connection, at that. Awesome.

A "special professional connection"? What, *what*? You're living in a gambrel-roofed apartment in witch-haunted Arkham while you study dubious and blasted higher mathemics?

Madly curious!

No, but I spent two years giving tours of it (http://www.salemweb.com/witchhouse/).

Of course, that's the restoration done in 1948, when it opened as a museum. When Lovecraft saw it (http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/avp/cas/fnart/fa267/17th/corwinhouse2.jpg), it had shops on the first floor and rented rooms upstairs, but was already being called the Witch House by the entrepreneurial apothecary and antique dealer on the first floor. They had cut a doorway through the chimney and were giving tours of "ye antique witch hearth". It took about 200 years for Salem to get over being ashamed of the witchcraft trials and start marketing them. And now I'll get out of tour guide mode before I tell you about America's very first collectible spoons :)

Oh, that's just extrememly cool. So that's where your vaguely sinister (which I adore) icon comes from, too. You'd think any true Lovecraft fan would have made it to Salem by now, but alas, I still have not.

Glad you like the icon - I chose a random picture I already had to crop when I first started the lj, and I thought it looked cool but was never quite sure...
And Salem's definitely worth a visit sometime, although there's a lot of kitsch that has to be approached in the right spirit.

feathercock
Should I ask, or just run away?

Run. Run, and never look back. Insane asylums are full of strong women who broke when faced with the improbable horror that is feathercock.

(Contrary suggestion: read Lynn's story. Because it's actually good. Just don't think about the existence of feathercock outside of that one story.)

Okay. (coughs)

I have been extremely patient. But you said you would be back Wednesday. It is now Wednesday. (checks calendar) You have to come back, my dear wombat, because I have to tell you about the Ray and the Fraser.

And the completely insane boss, but that's for e-mail. :-D

I hope you had an uneventful trip. I think you could use a little boredom at this point.

She is all gone! Where is

thefourthvine? I came here looking for you so we could miss her together. *misses*

I KNOW!

I actually found her at one point, but I am beginning to fear that may actually have been a wombat-loss-induced hallucination, because she disappeared again.

*misses too*

*forlorn sniffle*

SHE LIVES!

Her partner just emailed me today to say their phone lines are down and won't be up until Thursday but not to worry. So, no Internet or phone access, but alive and well. *celebrates*

(deleted comment)

I know! I was rilly starting to worry, so I am glad for safe and soundness. At least it is just the phones, though I bet OTP is in withdrawal from fandom already. *waves* Hi,

thefourthvine! Are you reading this on Thursday along with the other million messages in your inbox?

See how much we missed you! *clingse*

Can you imagine? Best Beloved probably contacted you in the hope that you'll be able to come up with something to stave off the worst of the DTs. *imagines

thefourthvine sitting in a corner, rocking and muttering "smut smut where is the smut must have it my preciousssss..."*

Hmmmm. I could mail some to her, I guess! Hee! HEY I KNOW!!! I COULD MAIL HER DIRA'S HOCKEY AU!

*hatches evil plot to provide OTP with smut*

Yeah, that'd about do it, wouldn't it? Of course, then she might OD...

But, it's DIRA. And the HOCKEYSMUT. Which, just to mention, I TOTALLY LOVED and there's not enough fangirl in the WORLD to tell her how much.

Hmm. Yes. You should do this.

and put an eentsy beentsy kiss on it from me so that she knows I miss her too, but that you had the bestest idea EVAR and I'm just ... well, piggybacking, really...

What is this hockeysmut of which you speak? Did Dira finally finish it? Because if so, that is cause for celebration, and also all by itself makes the whole Saga of the Phone That Died and the associated Saga of the Fucking Phone Company totally worthwhile. Because it's worth going away if you return to news like that.

(We just got the phone fixed. Just about - seventy seconds ago. I am still downloading the 1,865 messages that accumulated in my non-fannish email box while I was tragically without connection to the outside world. But I had to come here to see what was up, because, you know, the withdrawal has been absolutely heinous, and I needed an immediate fix. Amusing addiction-related note: I noticed that the DSL was out within minutes, but it took me a whole day to realize the phone was out, too; I just thought the telemarketers were bothering someone else for a change.)

DAMN. No, seriously. DAMN.

And yes. That is the hockeysmut of which we speak. And it's PHENOMENAL. And detailed. WITH FOOTNOTES!!!

And, when you dig out from under your pile of e-mails, you should send me one. ;-D MWAH! WELCOME BACK, DISAPPEARINGEST WOMBAT!

I would ask if they could have more bad luck, but I'm afraid that would just bring THE WRATH OF GOD down upon their heads, so we'll just say YAY they're fine and hope they get their phones back up and running. :-D *blows noisemaker*

THANK YOU. Thank you for coming here and telling

fanofall.

I was gone so long that I was afraid that someone would, you know, foreclose on my LJ or something. That I'd come back and find a totally new person doing the recs, and it'd be like I'd never even been here. And then there'd be a new chapter, and it would turn out that not only was I figment of someone else's imagination, but that I was stuck in one of those headache-inducing SF novels that don't hold up on the second read.

Obviously, I've been having strange thoughts while I was without my precious DSL, which only now do I appreciate as I should always have. There will be ceremonies of thanksgiving in this household tonight, I'm telling you, and probably every Friday hereafter. (I'm thinking of calling it the Feast of the Working Internet Connection and, Oh Yeah, Voice Line, Too. Maybe I need something a bit punchier, though.)

(Glad that BB got in touch with you. We had to wait until she went back to work to send email, even, which is just - tragically 1991. And pity the BB: she had to spend a long weekend in a house with an internet-less

thefourthvine.)

SQUEEE! YOU'RE BACK!

*hugs you and dances you around*

It's not that I don't love you, but I wasn't looking forward to re-doing the fifty-plus footnotes on Dira's novel so I could print it out and mail it to you. :) Now you can read it online, with hyperlinks an' all.

Knowing me, I was starting to think to myself, OMG was it something I said? So I'm glad it was the phone, and I'm glad you had BB email me, and I'm gladder than glad that you're back with working phone and internet and stuff! YAY!

Good lord. Fifty footnotes is more than any woman should have to face. (Unless she's being paid; I think we've both faced far, far more than that in the line of remunerated duty.) (And, for the record, you totally proved your love with the whole unpicking-twenty-rows thing. Greater love hath no woman. Or man. Person, really.)

(And, for the record, I'm seriously into parentheses now that I have - oh, glory - the power of written communication returned to me. I've missed punctuation, I tell you. Well, I mean, I work with it, but I've missed using it in day-to-day conversation, and - you know what? This is making me sound insane and neurotic and punctuation-obsessed, and while that's true, I'd rather maintain a normal front in public. So I'm going to segue violently and without care for the safety of bystanders.)

I'm very, very glad I thought of having BB email you (it was a novel concept, as BB hardly ever checks even work email); I was thinking, shit, she called me just before the phone died (well, just before it died completely - we had a frustrating period during which it sometimes worked and sometimes didn't and sometimes it did, technically, work, but only intermittently, and never when we wanted it to, and it was just this - this whole thing) and I never got a chance to call her back. She's going to think I hate her!

And of course the phone would choose the time when we were switching our cell phones over. I think it knew, and was paying me back for all the times I've said hateful things about it. But no more. I am a Changed Woman; I am born again with the knowledge of the goodness of telecommunications.

(Incidentally: my cell phone number remains unchanged - because apparently right now you cannot get a cell phone number with our area code unless you already had one, because of the Great Phone Number Shortage - so you can still call it. And, of course, you can call the land line, because it is - YAY! - working once more, praise Ma Bell or whoever the presiding deity of telecommunications is.)

I actually called you again and it just rang and rang, so maybe my first thought should not have been OMG THEY DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO ME AND HAVE UNPLUGGED PHONE/CHANGED NUMBER TO AVOID MY CALLS but rather, I wonder what is wrong with their phone? Heh. I have issues. :)

*shares punctuation with you*

...--—;)))(((!!??,.,,,(?

♥!

OMG PUNCTUATION!

Sorry. Hee!

I'm trying to find a Sentinel story that I *think* was reced here... blair is bad at paying his bills and gets into mad debt... jim helps and winds up taking out a loan from his dad to help pay for it all... if anyone has a clue, please share the wealth. thanx!

Try

the_rec_room. That's what they're there for.

The address for 'The Complication of Memory, by Jennifer-Oksana' has apparently changed and is now http://jennyo.imjustsayin.net/complicationofmemory.html if you'd like to change it. Cheers.

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Slashy Nominations 106: Mix It Up

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thanks!

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help!

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