Coming out of the Closet; or, the Secret Life of Recommenders

[thefourthvine]

When I first started this LJ, I had never written FF and had reason to believe I never would.

Really, in retrospect, I should've known better. Eventually, we all write fan fiction; I understand this now.

But to save myself the embarrassment of publicly associating with my FF (and to save you lot from suddenly seeing FF in a recommendations LJ), when I succumbed to the irresistable lure, I did it under a pseudonym. Which is sort of pathetic and sort of psychotic, inasmuch as thefourthvine isn't exactly my real name, so we're talking about a pseudonym for an alias here, and that's just way too recursive to enhance my sanity.

I've posted a fair amount of FF lately - well, for me, anyway - and that's made me think about this whole thing of having a nom de plume for an assumed name for an entity livejournaling as, or whatever, and I've decided it's time to stop with the spy games. For one thing, it's starting to feel vaguely hypocritical; I mean, I recommend FF and rant about the nine million things that I have decreed to be FF sins; seems like I should give people full opportunity to point to my own FF and say, "But you do it, too!" And then there's the fact that some people guessed anyway, to the point where I've wondered if my FF writing is the same kind of secret as an intraoffice affair: something that everyone is politely pretending not to know.

In short, the time has come for me to own up to my writing. So, for the record: I write FF under the name Littera Abactor, whose work can be found at littera_abactor.

No one who reads this should feel obliged to read anything in that LJ, of course. In fact, most of you would probably prefer not to, as the FF I write is nothing like the stuff I recommend. The sample size is still too small - I've written maybe half a dozen stories - but early indications are that I specialize in the weird and the humorous, without many detours in the way of plot or smut. However, if you do read anything, you are naturally free to nitpick, grouse, or poke fun, just as you are here. (And I'll read and love your comments, and still only have about a 50% chance of coming up with a response to them. Also just like here.)

This will stay a recommendations LJ, though; I'll continue to use only the littera_abactor LJ for FF.

So. While we're cleaning out the closet, does anyone else have a secret to share with the class?

Comments

[estrella30.livejournal.com]

omfg.

You're writing DS!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

*squees*

*goes to read and friend your lj*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

But, you know, dS appears to be my crack fandom. In my stories, they don't end up in a Canadian shack. If I ever got them into a shack of any kind, I would expect it to be on Mars. ("It's an incredible opportunity, Ray. The first colonists of Mars! Imagine!" "And it takes how long to get there?" "Er, three years, which I admit is, er, a bit much, but -" "Do we get our own room?" "Yes, Ray." "Three years, huh? I got a lot of ideas how to pass that kind of time." "I'd hoped you would, yes." "Wait, what about Dief?" "He's anxious to go. I've explained to him that there aren't any wolves on Mars, but he definitely expects to find something there. He just refuses to be clear about what." "Huh. So. When do we leave?" "We're going, then?" "You wanna go, Dief wants to go, and I got some friends out that way I haven't seen in a long time, so I'm thinking - hell yeah. I mean, if you'll have me.")

So, you know, fair warning and all that: when dS Crack Writers Anonymous gets started, I expect I'll be shanghied down there and handcuffed to a chair.

*squees in return*
*friends in return*
*departs, squeaking happily*

[imkalena.livejournal.com]

It's true . . . fanfic really is just for fun. :D

And I didn't know it was you, but I'm pretty out of the loop these days.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

As far as I can tell, FF, for me, is pretty much a safe outlet for unsuspected insanity. Which, yeah, OK, is fun. I see your point.

(And out of the loop? No! You can't leave the loop, because we love you so much that we will drag you back to it for your own good. *nods emphatically* Yes, it's for your own good. Ours doesn't even enter into it.)

[cris-mimi.livejournal.com]

Will read your fics soon... ^^

I friended your fiction lj.. hope you don't mind?

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

I absolutely don't mind; I'm always thrilled to get new friends, under any name. (And the bonus is, over there friends list maintenance is still possible, meaing I can friend people back. *glories in the Freedom to Friend*)

But remember: reading this LJ does not obligate you to read the stories in that one. And if you do read, comments are always welcome but never required. (I have a secret fear of becoming a "feedback me or I will steal your dog" writer.)

[maygra.livejournal.com]

Can I nudge/plead/bribe you to post the uhm...those. You know what.

as for secrets, I've only used another fic pseud once, becasue I was Writing M7 escort fic and it was so very OTT even for me that I wanted no expectations either within or without...only..well, I forgoet to change all my amil settings so when I posted the fic, it indeed had the ",maygra" moniker right there in the emails...

shortest sock puppet life ever....

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

That is hysterical, and somehow so you. I mean, if I wrote you as a character in a story, I would definitely include the "too laidback to have a sockpuppet" thing, because - really, that's perfect.

You should have an icon for that. Maybe it could say, "Public sockpuppets: the perfect accessory for the confident fan." Hmmm, no. Needs work.

(About those. Um. Stories. Look, do you feel up to reading what I've got? And giving me an honest and critical assessment? I don't have much more, but I'm halfway through - I know now what the structure is, which should stun you rigid - and the hard parts are all ahead of me. Basically, I'm trying to decide whether to ditch them or finish them or post them as-is. Your opinion would be a big help on that.)

[joyfulseeker.livejournal.com]

I've wondered if my FF writing is the same kind of secret as an intraoffice affair

I can honestly say I had no idea you were littera_abactor. Funny!

[indywind]

I had sort of a teensy suspicion that littera_abactor and thefourthvine might be, if not the same person, pod-siblings separated at birth with similar senses of humor... but not so much so that I can't now say "that's you? wow, I thought she was good; that explains it!"

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

OK, that is funny, because I assumed you were definitely in on the Big Office Secret; I thought that anyone who had friended both must have figured it out. Now I feel...very loved, actually. You like me! You really like me! Both mes!

Wow.

*experiences warm fuzzies and the sudden urge to write schmoop*

[qe2.livejournal.com]

Dude.

DUDE.

I totally should have figured that out, from the high quality of the writing both places if nothing else.

Except not, because I actually like not knowing whodunnit until the end of the book rather than trying to get there before the author, when it's a GOOD book, and this is just like that. Yes. *nods firmly*

Welcome out :-).

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

*looks admiringly at non-closet surroundings*

It's nice out here, isn't it?

And you were one of the reasons I ended up telling, because you were so nice to Littera Abactor when she was a total crank with just one insane story to her name. And then a few posts ago you said being recommended here made you want to write again, and I was like - yes! Totally! And you so should, because... But I couldn't quote to you any of the things you'd said to Littera or anything she'd said to you, so I was sort of stuck for a response.

Apparently I'm not cut out for duality.

In any case, I'm glad you now know. (And I have a totally different approach to mysteries; I do want to solve the puzzle, but then I cheat. I can never make myself use just the clues the author gives the detective.)

[janet-carter.livejournal.com]

Eeeeeee!!!! You wrote the fabulously amusing Noah story! And I remember giggling at that SN one! Yay!

My resolve to stay away from the dS-tentacle-fic until after I finish this paper is weakening...

And no, my attempts at writing remain safely unposted (mostly fragments of SN dialogue and a bit of toying with an unfortunate incident at the Shedd Aquarium involving a giant squid back when the ink challenge was up at ds_flashfiction).

OK. Enough rambling commenting. Back to paper. And laundry - I'm concerned about my neighbors' dryer skills, given that there were four distinct strata of lint in the screen just now.

(Literary cattle-thief?)

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

The tentacles are writhing for you, janet_carter. They are also calling out to you in a crack-ridden but pleading manner: "Come visit us! We are so lonely! Also, we will serve as a useful break from your paper, recharging your batteries so that you can return to the academic fray filled with new ideas! Also tentacles! And tentacle ideas, such as are suitable for any paper!"

I myself would not listen to them. They are not trustworthy tentacles. (I almost wrote, "They aren't tame tentacles," but that got me into a whole bad dS x Narnia x Doctor Octopus space, about which the less said the better.)

Literary cattle-thief is one way to go with that, definitely. I myself was thinking more in terms of "thief of letters" or "literary thief," but the cattle - they add something.

Yee-haw! Round 'em up, move 'em out! Let's get these dogies out there before the lawmen git here!

Yes, the cattle definitely add something.

*departs in search of Dead Kennedys and "Rawhide"*

[minitrog.livejournal.com]

does anyone else have a secret to share with the class?

My favourite colour is yellow, although I pretended for 25 years that it was red. *g*

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Oh, well. You yellowists are just perverted. And it's all your own choice, you know; if you just tried to like a nice decent color, just made an effort, you'd be loving red or blue in no time. But no. Well, if you choose to be a Yellow Invert, don't expect me to...

Whoops. Wrong channel. Hang on a second.

Yay yellow! It is not my own personal favorite color, but many people I know and respect admire it, and I think no less of them for it. I firmly believe that everyone should be allowed to make his or her own choice about color preferences. There's no inherent goodness or badness in any color, and in any case, it harms no one.

Be honest! Be open! If you are yellow, embrace yellow! Isn't that the message Monty Python was trying to teach us in the bridge scene? Truly an inspirational film for the ages!

*lovingly embraces yellowphile [Unknown site tag]*

*departs, humming various tracks from Free to Be You and Me*

[lyra-sena.livejournal.com]

Yay!! *spins you around in the fresh air, outside the closet* I sorta figured it was you-- also, the tentacle fic is classic. I'm so happy you're writing!

As for secrets -- I'm wearing panties with blue polkadots on them!!

[indywind]

closet secret: I'm not gay. As much. Anymore.

::laughs at self::

[norah.livejournal.com]

*holds hands with you shyly in public*

[lyra-sena.livejournal.com]

y'all are so cute.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Whee! I like you both!

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

*squeaks incoherently with glee*

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

While we're cleaning out the closet, does anyone else have a secret to share with the class?

*raises hand* I'm byob_kenobi.

Um. Most people know that, though.

*goes to read your fic*

[norah.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha! I didnae know that. I recced both of you!

[boniblithe.livejournal.com]

Nice to meet you!

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

And...well, I was going to say, "And you," but I'm not sure I can. Did Emily Post ever cover introducing your secret identities to your friends?

[brownbetty]

Hahaha! You wrote the tentacle porn! Awesome! It's funny, because I feel that I "know" you far better from this journal, but the only comment I've ever left has been for your tentacle porn.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

But now you've commented in both places, which is a most excellent thing. (And I think the tentacle porn sort of scared comments out of a lot of people. It's the writhing, probably; the tentacles have ways of making you talk.)

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

While we're cleaning out the closet, does anyone else have a secret to share with the class?

Err. Hello, my name is Cherry, and though I don't read graphic sex, I totally read your recs for the amusement factor, and because many of them are long and plotty and I read those parts, anyway.

And it's maybe possible that was part of how I got into the Due South fandom.

*Goes back to sit in the corner by herself*

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Hi, Cherry!

*enthusiastic claps*

We love you! Porn or no porn! No more corner-sitting for you!

*hauls Cherry firmly out of corner*

And it's maybe possible that was part of how I got into the Due South fandom.

Oooo. I'm feeling very proud of myself right now. And I suppose I should say, "my work here is done," but it probably isn't; a fandom slut always has more pimping to do. So...Sports Night?

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

I had no idea who the co-writer was on that tentacle fic. (I didn't even ask MMWD.)

Anyway, it was a fun, cracked-out crossover to beta. :)

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

I totally wondered about that. See, this is why I had to tell people, because I can't restrain my curiosity; if I'd tried to keep it a secret, I'd've ended up telling everyone who had anything to do with both LJs, just to see if they already knew.

I'm glad you had fun beta-ing it; I certainly had fun writing it (except for the inevitable month-long pre-posting panic attack, but that's just part and parcel of the FF writing gig, I'm finding). There's nothing like writing a story that is chock-full-o'-crack from beginning to end to free one from the constraints of - well, sanity, I guess. But I florish where sanity withers, so that's good, right?

And thank you for doing such an excellent beta on it, by the way; now that I know you in both personas, I can thank you in person.

So. Did I tell you I'm thinking of getting Tentacle Pride t-shirts made? (The initial plan was to go with "I write tentacle porn" and "I edit tentacle porn," but seems like it'd be better to have t-shirts people could actually wear.)