158: Cats and Crosses

[thefourthvine]

So. Someone on my friends list linked to the YouTube clip about the T.S. Eliot Equation, and I realized it could be used to prove three things about me:

1. I won't have any cats in my old age, because zero divided by anything is always zero. This is good, because I am tragically allergic to cats.
   
   
2. I won't live to be old, because some right-thinking citizen will throttle me before then. I can best explain this via a conversation I had upon viewing the YouTube clip.
   
   Me: But...okay, I get the concept, and yet. Well. Shouldn't the number of exclamation points be an intensifying rather than a mitigating factor?
   BB: What?
   Me: Because if you divide by the number of exclamation points, then that reduces the total number of cats. Whereas obviously more exclamation points should increase the total number of cats, and -
   BB: Are you arguing the terms of an equation from a YouTube comedy clip?
   Me, quietly: I just think it's important to be accurate, and that's obviously inaccurate, because -
   BB, loudly: I said, are you arguing the terms of an equation from a YouTube comedy clip?
   Me, very quietly: Possibly.
   [There is a long silence.]
   BB: Oh my god. Do you hear yourself?
   [There is another long silence in which I reflect upon my life to date.]
   Me: ...Maybe I need a hobby.
   
   
3. I need to post. Yes, I had my usual December quietness, induced by Yuletide + work + seasonal depression, but obviously if I want to live through this year, never mind to a (sadly cat-free) old age, I need a hobby. One that doesn't involve critiquing YouTube math. And, as it turns out, I already have a hobby: fan fiction! It's time to get in touch with my hobby again, ideally before the person who throttles me is Best Beloved.

So, courtesy of the math in some guy's YouTube comedy bit, here I bring you: crossovers.

Yeah. That transition sucked, but in my defense: a) I think you'll find, if you think about it, that there is no possible good transition there, so I can hardly be blamed for not finding it, b) I have to get this post done before I turn into a Crazy Pedant Lady, which is much much worse than a Crazy Cat Lady, and c) I'm sick, so I am excused from having to have smooth transitions and polished prose and stuff. (No, really. I have a note and everything.)

That said, shall we get right to the crossovers?

The One That Features Draco Malfoy in a Cage and Yet Is Somehow Still Gen. Five Have a Magical Time, by lazy_neutrino. Harry Potter x Enid Blyton's Famous Five, gen.

I - I don't know if other people will react to this one the way I did. (My reaction, for the record, was laughter interspersed with broken sobs, because I was obsessed with the Famous Five books in my youth, people, and they read just like this, and oh my god I've wasted my entire life.) You pretty much need to have spent three years of your childhood hiding in your closet with a flashlight and a stack of Famous Five books.

Yes. I was just that cool as a kid. Fear me.

But I think even if you had a more normal childhood - one featuring light and good literature and a total lack of lashings of ginger beer, a phrase that can still cause my entire right side to cramp up from phantom flashlight-holding pain - you can enjoy this. Just know that lazy_neutrino has hit the style of the Famous Five so perfectly that I would actually suspect her of being the reincarnation of Enid Blyton if that wasn't such a horrible thing to say about a person who clearly a) is a very talented writer and b) spent much of her childhood in the same kind of thrall I did, and therefore has suffered enough.

And, of course, the Harry Potter elements are perfect. I just - I love this brilliant (smashing!) clash of two subgenres of British children's literature (the magical and the Blyton, and yes, Blyton is entirely deserving of her own subgenre), and the way the Harry Potter world looks through the eyes of the Famous Five, and, well, every flashback-to-my-unfortunate-youth-inducing word of the narrative.

Bonus: after re-reading this, I felt a lot better about my need to argue YouTube math, because obviously I was broken from the start. Which means I can blame my parents. Or, possibly, Enid Blyton. Both are, obviously, excellent choices that take the burden of normalcy off me. And that, my friends, is the key to mental health.

The One That Is Perfectly Timed for Post-Holiday Reading, Since It Will Make You Feel Good About How Functional and Healthy Your Family Is. Really. The Gods Might Offer Gifts, by iseult_variante. Supernatural x American Gods, gen.

I think it's safe to say you'll enjoy this story if you know either fandom. I don't know Supernatural (well, beyond what I pick up from vids, which is: two brothers, a car, and a woman in plastic wrap taped to the ceiling, plus a lot of scary stuff that means I could never, ever watch the show) at all, but I totally got this. And, going by the comments, people who don't know American Gods also love this story.

Of course, if you love Supernatural, I have to wonder why you don't know American Gods, because you'd probably love it, for the same reason that this crossover is such a fucking brilliant idea. (Brilliantly executed, too, let me just add.) Both canons address similar themes, albeit in a different way, and they are just such a natural fit that I am now wondering where the Dean/Shadow is. Or the John/Loki. (Oh, come on, I can't be the only person thinking that.)

But if there's only going to be one Supernatural x American Gods crossover, I'm glad this was it, because this is so damn perfect. iseult_variante picked just the right characters, just the right moment, and just the right themes - oh my god, people, this hits my family complications kink so hard that I think it might actually have broken it - and does it all so well that it looks easy. Which it manifestly is not.

Bonus: I'm glad I re-read this one immediately after Five Have a Magical Time, because I now feel better about my childhood. I mean, okay, I was a weird, closet-dwelling (ha ha ha - no, literally), book-obsessed little troll, but obviously that is, in the grand scheme of things, both normal and healthy. (No one should point out that neither of the families in this story are ideal barometers of mental health, okay? Let me be pleased with my newfound normalcy.)

The One That Gives a Whole New Meaning to the Concept of Teyla's People. X, by trinityofone. Stargate: Atlantis x X-Men, gen.

This one you can definitely follow if you only know one canon or the other, but if you know both, it is so very wonderful that I would recommend acquiring whichever canon you don't know (or, hell, both canons) just so you can obtain full enjoyment of it. trinityofone does an incredible job of fusing these canons, of mapping the X-verse onto the Gateverse; every time I read this, I experience a vague sense of shock when I finish it and realize, oh, right, this isn't canon. They don't actually have these powers and they aren't actually these people.

But if they were. Oh, god, I would faint from glee. Seriously. I might even die: first ever fannishness-induced implosion. Because it is so right.

If by some chance you haven't read this story (and, really, I don't see how anyone could have missed it, but just in case), I don't want to spoil it for you - the slow reveal is part of the joy of this, figuring out how things fit together and what's going on. I will say, though, that I have special and unholy glee for Zelenka's, um, form in this - the only thing that could have been better is if he'd been Beast. (Oh, god, who is Beast in this universe? Is there anyone awesome enough?)

And now I'm going to shut up, because, really, I am bouncing with eagerness to spoil this whole story for you, all, "And then - and also - and oh my god, you will not even believe but it's so -" Obviously I need to be quiet. Now.

Bonus: I think a few of you know that I am a recovering X-Addict. So many of us went through these little stages in college, and I was not immune. But because I got my sex and drugs and rough-approximation-of-music issues out of the way in high school (a total time-saver, but nonetheless not recommended unless you have excellent mental health coverage), I was left with nothing but geekiness to explore in college. I'd like to say, oh, there was this boy, and it was his fault, and I was totally innocent, but I know damn well I can't shift the blame on this one. It was my inner fan emerging, and she bought every damn comic book that had an X on it. Those of you who have been there will understand what this translates to, in terms of dollars, shame, and square feet of our guest room consumed by long boxes. My point is: this story made it all worth it. It made my heart glad. It also kind of made me want to relapse, but I am stronger than that.

I hope.

The One That Proves That Observer Bias Was Alive and Well and Living in Pseudo-Ancient Greece. Hercules ex Machina, by falzalot. Hercules: the Legendary Journeys x The Bible, gen.

This one you can read with only a vague knowledge of both canons. Yes, I am actually the only person I know who hasn't read the Bible. It's - I tried, okay? All I remember is that there was a chapter that was a lot like that one chapter of the Iliad that lists all the ships everyone brought: just an endless series of people begetting other people, is what I recall. It broke me. (The potluck chapter of the Iliad - "And Ajax of Salamis brought a tasty casserole that served twelve," or whatever it was - didn't break me, but I was a lot older. Also, it was required reading. That helped. And, um, do I need to mention the extremely motivating slash factor? No. I thought not.)

So. Hercules and the Bible. You can see why I chose this as the fourth perfect-fit crossover, right? Hercules: set in ancient times, all about gods. The Bible: set in ancient times, all about God. And, as far as I can tell, the Hercules canon is all about running roughshod through every god-related story on the planet (plus the occasional disco, for which I have still not found an adequate explanation that doesn't involve illegal chemicals in the drinking water), so why not a run-in with, well, I'm not going to say. The beauty of this story, for me, is the moment when it goes off the rails: you're not expecting a crossover, and then suddenly whoops! You're in the Bible. It's fabulous.

Plus, I love the way Hercules reacts to his situation, which is both very Hercules and very appropriate. And, most of all, I love that none of this really merits a blink. Sure, there's the occasional complaint, but this isn't actually different than your average day in the lives of Hercules and Iolaus, professional monsterbait.

Which is, of course, why it's a perfect crossover.

Not Actually a Bonus: I should never have brought up the Iliad in close conjunction with Hercules. I see this now, but it's too late. I'm already picturing Hercules and Iolaus encountering Achilles and Patroclus. (Which, huh, I guess they pretty much could have. Did they?) My head is ground zero of a very unfortunate crossover that involves a hell of a lot of pouting, people. Yikes.

Comments

[entrenous88.livejournal.com]

So. Hercules and the Bible.
I am so all over that story idea -- looking forward to checking that fic out!

And seriously, the Bible reads much easier if you go through the first five books pretty much in a row, and think of it as the trials and tribulations of a really cranky character named God.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

When I posted this, Best Beloved stared at me and said, "You're not supposed to read that part! Just skip it like everyone else!" (Best Beloved has the advantage of many years of bible school, here.) Which, yeah, I've found a lot of interesting stuff just browsing at random in the Bible - there is a substantial helping of gorgeous language in there, for starters - but all my instincts (honed in the closet mentioned in this entry, actually) say you start at the beginning of a book and read until the end. You don't skip parts just because they sound like four grandmothers gossiping at a reunion of a family you don't know. (Or because it reads like the potluck list for the family reunion.)

On the bright side, this means I am the only person left in history who can be surprised by plots from the Bible. I cried throughout the Prince of Egypt, for example, and I'm Jewish. Didn't matter, though, because I can't read Hebrew and thus didn't know what was happening in the Haggadah until I saw the movie.

So. It will help if I just sort of take the first five books in a giant-sized chunk? *makes note*

[holli.livejournal.com]

Uh. I think I know who Beast would be.

I think it's Sam Carter.

I think I have a problem with my brain being missing, oh god.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. You are a genius. That's exactly who Beast is!

*pleased beyond measure*

(And, obviously, you don't have any brain missing; in fact, judging from this, you have extra brain. Or I am unusually dense. Or, as is all too likely, both.)

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

I won't have any cats in my old age, because zero divided by anything is always zero. This is good, because I am tragically allergic to cats.

ME TOO!

I look at that video as a vindication of my cat-hating ways, really.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

ME TOO!

I had to type "LOL" in a story once. It hurt. A lot, actually.

Also, when I look at emoticons, what I see is random punctuation with no inherent meaning, so - yeah. Zero divided by any number will always be zero, and thank god because there is not enough asthma medication in the world for me to cohabit with a cat.

I look at that video as a vindication of my cat-hating ways, really.

I don't actually hate cats. They are non-primate mammals, ergo I like them. But they tend to rub up against me, and then I pat them, and then I stop breathing. And then I break out in hives. (You would think I would have learned by now not to touch cats, but no. The call of the non-primate mammal is strong.)

[frostfire-17.livejournal.com]

dude, that totally threw me, too. I mean--okay, first of all, obviously the exclamation points should be an intensifying factor. And then there's the fact that using too many exclamation points almost certainly stems from the same gland or whatever that using too many LOLs and/or smileys does, so there's probably a direct correlation, which would mean that the number of cats would always be the same, wouldn't it?

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

*bonds*

And then there's the fact that using too many exclamation points almost certainly stems from the same gland or whatever that using too many LOLs and/or smileys does, so there's probably a direct correlation, which would mean that the number of cats would always be the same, wouldn't it?

Excellent point. Would you like to co-author a paper? Our hypothesis would be that, if we survey a random sampling of emails written by Future Old Age Cat Owners (FOACO), we will find a trend toward a specific value of the cat number (n_c). Probably, the older a FAOCO gets, the closer one comes to the ultimate value of n_c.

*wonders where we could find a sufficient random sampling of FOACO emails*

[delurker.livejournal.com]

Once I visited Mont Saint Michel, which is a mountain connected to the mainland by a causeway, and all the way down I kept having flashbacks to Five go to Smuggler's Top, which I have read so often it is engraved on my brain. (I kept waiting for the secret passages to turn up, but no such luck.)

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

I remember Five Go to Smuggler's Top!

Oh dear god I'm having flashbacks. Send help.

(Also, yet more blame to heap at Enid Blyton's feet: you went to Mont Saint Michel and thought of the Famous Five. That's sad.)

I kept waiting for the secret passages to turn up, but no such luck.

Oh, I know. Just in general, my youthful reading prepared me for a much more secret-passage-ridden adolescence and adulthood than has actually come to pass. *sad*

[tevere.livejournal.com]

Speaking of spending years tucked in a closet with a torch and a series of beloved, dog-eared books...

YOU WROTE JAMES HERRIOT!

*runs to read*

I had no idea it was a fandom, but now I am filled with glee. Glee!

(Yes, I am a little slow getting around to this whole Yuletide business. Nevermindme.)

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Um, yes. I did in fact write James Herriot. In all honesty, though, I should warn you that that story could be really, really awful. I'm afraid to re-read it and find out.

(Yes, I am a little slow getting around to this whole Yuletide business. Nevermindme.)

But, hey, that just means more lovely archive for you to romp through!

[dzurlady.livejournal.com]

*waves at icon*

The One That Gives a Whole New Meaning to the Concept of Teyla's People. X, by trinityofone. Stargate: Atlantis x X-Men, gen.
I love that fic! Oh how I wish there was more of it. Also, the manips it spawed were awesome. :)

I love the Famous Five when I was younger. (I've re-read several things like that and wondered how I did not notice the weirdness of the writing at the time.)

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Oh how I wish there was more of it.

God, I know. In fact, that is totally what would drag me back into Marvel comics - that universe.

I suppose, for the sake of my floor space and my wallet, I should be grateful that that will never happen. But I'm not.

*whimpers helplessly in manner of addict denied fix*

I've re-read several things like that and wondered how I did not notice the weirdness of the writing at the time.

*winces*

Uh, yeah. There are some children's books that are just as good or even better in adulthood - actually, lots of them. I have two bookcases full of them. But then there are some that are just oh my god. Like, when I was little, I was much enamoured of an early chapter book series about Mrs. Pigglewiggle. I thought they were fabulous and smart and fun. And then I re-read them as an adult and I was horrified. They're actually about utterly incompetent parents who allow a sadistic witch to abuse their children and then giggle about it to their friends. And I mean that in all seriousness. It's awful.

Children just have different tastes, I suppose. Which is why I am all the more impressed with the books that manage to be good for both kids and adults.

[vass]

(My reaction, for the record, was laughter interspersed with broken sobs, because I was obsessed with the Famous Five books in my youth, people, and they read just like this, and oh my god I've wasted my entire life.)

I *know*. *clings, sobs* Enid Blyton is one of the fandoms I read not out of affection for the source but a desire to do violence to it, the author, and the younger me who wanted to *be* Darrell Rivers.

I actually liked Five Go Mad in Dorset, and I usually hate comedy shows. It was vicious.

And, um, do I need to mention the extremely motivating slash factor?

I suggest you read the Book of Saul and the Book of Ruth. From a slash point of view, you can probably then skip forward to the New Testament, where there's Judas, Peter, and The Disciple Jesus Loved.

Not Actually a Bonus: I should never have brought up the Iliad in close conjunction with Hercules.

Heh. You said 'conjuction'. Heh.

[vass]

Recommenting, because I forgot to add:

Does a Crazy Pedant Lady keep a huge collection of commas and apostrophes, all appropriately placed? (I ask because this could be me one day too.)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_abulafia/]

Shouldn't the number of exclamation points be an intensifying rather than a mitigating factor?

But you're right! It's a legitimate response!

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

But you're right! It's a legitimate response!

THANK YOU. (Actually, I'm very pleased at the number of people who are saying, "Yes! I thought that, too!" If we're insane, we're all insane together. *happy*)

[djinanna.livejournal.com]

Catless old age is such a very sad thought. Therefore I want you to know that Sega Toys has found a way to resolve your problem:

Sega's interactive robotic cat (http://segatoys.co.jp/nearme/)

Sadly, the site is in Japanese, but there's a link to a video of the robotic cat interacting with a little girl down at the bottom of the screen.

The cat is kinda sweet looking ... it's much more realistic than previous versions ... and I can testify that it's MUCH more friendly and interactive than my long-haired white cat (pictured in icon), who in 13 years of living with me has never willingly allowed me to touch her and who I have touched unwillingly (for purposes of brushing or putting in a cat carrier for a move or a vet visit) probably less than a dozen times. She's fast. She's veryveryvery fast.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

*stares*

Robot...cat?

*considers*

She's fast. She's veryveryvery fast.

How do you give her pills? I mean, we have dogs, and we pretty much just hold out the pills and they glomp them down. But I'm not sure how you'd give pills to what sounds like a large fuzzy air molecule. Cat ownership sounds challenging.

At least with the robot cat, you would just send it in for repairs.

[lilacsigil.livejournal.com]

Delightfully naked, hairless cat for you!

Thank you for the links - the Famous Five/HP story I had already read, and it's wonderful!

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the links - the Famous Five/HP story I had already read, and it's wonderful!

It really is. Are you another person who suffered from Famous Five-itis in your youth? I had no idea there were so many of us in fandom.

Possibly we should start a support group.

[apatheia-jane.livejournal.com]

Weirdly, I made it through the begetting chapter. Somehow. It may have something to do with being 8 & my best friend moving away, & I was under the impression that the Bible was a guide to miracles, like if I studied enough, if I could just figure out the pattern, then I could get Him to make her move back, preferably next door this time.

But to this day, I hate that chapter in the Iliad that is forever preventing me from getting to the slash.

Ah, Htlj/Xenaverse - running roughshod through religion, history, continuity, discos, & on at least one occasion, the 20thC (Reincarnated!Xena & Ares both crash a Xena convention, & the important thing to note from this is that the gods are immortal, & can show up in any timeperiod. As such, any fandom can have, for a spin on the classic aliens made them do it, a love god (http://www.geocities.com/grnicupid/GrnEye_211.jpg) made them do it. See, now I'm picturing a war between Ares (see icon) & Cupid (http://fanzone50.com/KarlUrban/GreenEyes.html) over characters. Buffy/Faith for example. Ares is whispering into Faith's ear, you can't trust her, she doesn't even like you FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! & Cupid is saying but she's so hot when she's angry & blonde & flexible SHAG! SHAG! SHAG!

Nevermind, I'll go back to lurking now. Also, commiserations on your childhood. My gran had all the books, & a giant green armchair next to the bookshelf, & I'd crouch in the little corner barricaded in behind the armchair to read them & avoid my family. Fortunately, I still had proper lighting.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

I was under the impression that the Bible was a guide to miracles, like if I studied enough, if I could just figure out the pattern, then I could get Him to make her move back, preferably next door this time.

Motivation is clearly the key to surviving the begats. ("The begats" sounds like folksy name for a disease. "Oh, poor Martha, did you hear? She's got the begats. Can't even get out of bed.")

But to this day, I hate that chapter in the Iliad that is forever preventing me from getting to the slash.

See vassilissa's comment above; she's got help for you! And if you pester her, she may have even more help for you, in the form of a useful guide.

As such, any fandom can have, for a spin on the classic aliens made them do it, a love god made them do it. See, now I'm picturing a war between Ares (see icon) & Cupid over characters.

I - I do not want to picture Ronon Dex and Hercules trying to out-leather each other. AND YET I AM. Curse you! *shakes fist*

Or, oh my god, Teyla and Xena. What have you done to my brain?

My gran had all the books, & a giant green armchair next to the bookshelf, & I'd crouch in the little corner barricaded in behind the armchair to read them & avoid my family.

*nods* Avoiding the family was the key. My closet-dwelling tactics came about because I wanted to be alone.

Books: giving people inviolable bubbles of personal space since 1440.

P.S.

[dzurlady.livejournal.com]

But what about if you just like cats? And perhaps started out a little bit crazy? Does that excuse you from crazy old cat lady-ship? (Aww, kitten! So cute!)

Re: P.S.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Weeel, no. It just means you can get started on the Crazy Cat Ladyness early. As early as you like. Why wait for old age?

(And kittens are cute. Lethal, but cute. When I was accompanying my mother on a house-shopping expedition, we visited one place where the current owner had these kittens - very new kittens. They were in an exploratory phase, so they wanted to say hello to us and climb up our pants, and they were teeny, and oh my god so cute. Of course, my mother didn't buy the house because we couldn't remember anything about the it but OMG KITTENS. So, really, kittens are not recommended as house-buyer bait, but they are indeed cute. Although I maintain that puppies are cuter. *biased in favor of animals she's not allergic to*)

[marycrawford.livejournal.com]

You recced Hercules ex Machina, yay! I love this story, and now I have added ammunition to lob in falzalot's general direction when she protests that she's not a writer at all, no, really. The 'another day, another giant sea monster' flavor of it just works so well, and I adore Herc and his issues and Iolaus' casual way of dealing with same.

Not Actually a Bonus: I should never have brought up the Iliad in close conjunction with Hercules. I see this now, but it's too late. I'm already picturing Hercules and Iolaus encountering Achilles and Patroclus. (Which, huh, I guess they pretty much could have. Did they?) My head is ground zero of a very unfortunate crossover that involves a hell of a lot of pouting, people. Yikes.

HEE. I can see Achilles and Hercules having a pouting contest while Patroklos and Iolaus knock back a few drinks and discuss the proper care & feeding of sulky demigods. And no, they didn't meet in canon, but I think it's canon that H & I were at Troy (though I couldn't tell you offhand where that was mentioned). I keep hoping someone will write that story.

That said, there's Fortunes of War (http://www.ltljverse.com/stories/war.htm) by Randi Dumois, one of my favorite HtLJ slash stories and one that hasn't gotten a lot of attention; it's set during a gathering of the armies long after Troy, where Hercules and Iolaus meet Achilles again. And I'm really not doing it justice by describing it like that.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

*eyes falzalot*

She's a writer. I'm willing to make a signed statement to that effect, if necessary.

I can see Achilles and Hercules having a pouting contest while Patroklos and Iolaus knock back a few drinks and discuss the proper care & feeding of sulky demigods.

PRECISELY.

I keep hoping someone will write that story.

*looks pointedly at you*

I believe we have a volunteer! Miss Mary Crawford, thank you for stepping forward. Now, when may we expect the story?

That said, there's Fortunes of War by Randi Dumois, one of my favorite HtLJ slash stories and one that hasn't gotten a lot of attention; it's set during a gathering of the armies long after Troy, where Hercules and Iolaus meet Achilles again.

It's set after the Great Sadness of the Iliad. But it's Hercules and Iolaus and Achilles, and therefore I must read it. *whimpers*

[foreverdirt.livejournal.com]

Shouldn't the number of exclamation points be an intensifying rather than a mitigating factor?

Oh, me too. Me too. When he held up the sign, I started thinking "Hold on, how is he going to spin exclamation marks as a good thing?" and then he didn't and I was sad.

[foreverdirt.livejournal.com]

I won't have any cats in my old age, because zero divided by anything is always zero.

Well, unless you never use an exclamation mark where a full stop will do. In which case you have a divide by zero error and you'll end up owning three and a half camels.

[keswindhover.livejournal.com]

If it helps, I watched that clip, and instantly thought "Why is he dividing by the exclamation marks?" It's the obvious first question, in my view.

But I didn't say it aloud! :) LOL (And that's three cats in old age, not one and half)

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Well, at least we're all mad together. I find this surprisingly comforting.

And, wait, wouldn't that be one cat in old age? (1 x 1)/1. Or do we have a new, better equation to replace the clearly flawed TSEE? *on tenterhooks awaiting the TSEE 2.0*

[jeddy83.livejournal.com]

Another Famous Five tragic here. I loved reading the books when I was younger. Even better, though, we had several records with Famous Five stories on them and, if it had been raining and we'd been really good, my mother would let us listen to them. *g*

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Oh. Oh my. Famous Five records. I just - I can't even - the very concept is causing a fatal exception error in my frontal lobe.

*blue screens*

[janet-carter.livejournal.com]

I didn't read the Famous Five books, but I desperately wanted to, because the characters in many of the books that I read had read them (or, okay, depending on the book, mocked them). I was sad that the library didn't have them. Or maybe I found one at a used book fair eventually, but after I was too old for it? Yes, I think it was Five Fall Into Adventure. < /my own specialness>

And each of those crossovers sounds more brilliant than the last *goes to read*

[janet-carter.livejournal.com]

Also, re: the Bible: I was raised going to church every week, and took a lot of biblical history-related classes in college, and I still haven't read all the way through the majority of the books of the Bible, let alone the whole thing. (For any given book, I've probably read a chunk.) It's more of a skimming and highlights and general-familiarity kind of book; as pointed out above, it's an anthology, and some of the books have multiple stories and multiple drafts of the stories smushed together, and God had editorial approval over it all, but continuity wasn't so much His thing, let alone overarching plot arcs (with occasional exceptions).

For that matter, I majored in ancient Greek and haven't read all of the Iliad, so I'm not sure what my point is. I really do spend a lot of time reading; my parents can vouch for my childhood. Just not Enid Blyton or the Bible or the Iliad.

[umbo.livejournal.com]

So, okay, yay crossovers, boo being allergic to cats, but I can't help but notice this entire list of crossovers is all gen, and I want to know if we can expect a list of crossovers with pairings any time soon? And now I'm off to read X, because I don't think I ever did before.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

It was an accident! I didn't mean for them all to be gen! (And, actually, did not notice until you pointed it out. This says something bad about me, I'm pretty sure.)

But, just for you, I will begin accumulating crossovers with pairings. Of course, it could still be this time next year before you see the post, but - hmmm. I could almost assemble it already.

*thinky*

(Also, X is wonderful.)

[noneeca.livejournal.com]

okay. so i haven't even read past your first rec. i haven't even read the rec in question. but i had to post a comment before i died laughing. because; DUDE. i am JUST. LIKE. YOU. obsessed with Famous Five as a sprog. loved the dog. loved the fact that there was a tomboy named George. gah. loved it all. still have the books - about 10 or so, though knowing Enid Blyton as i do, she probably wrote waaay more than just 10.
um... *small cough* did you happen to read her boarding school books? like Mallory Towers or the Chalet School series? *hopes fervently that she is not the only who wanted to go to those schools as a kid*

aaaanyway. yes. so i'm going back to reading your recs now. cheers!

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

*clings*

There's life after the Famous Five, and it is called fandom, judging by the number of fellow Five-ians I've found with this post.

still have the books - about 10 or so, though knowing Enid Blyton as i do, she probably wrote waaay more than just 10.

Oh my god yes. I have about 30 of them, and I'm nowhere near the complete set.

did you happen to read her boarding school books? like Mallory Towers or the Chalet School series?

Sadly, no. But - Mallory Towers and Chalet School are both actual fandoms. Teeny ones, but - I remember seeing at least one request in yuletide this year, and I know several people who are ever seeking Chalet School fic.

Damn. Now I wish I could remember who (besides slemslempike, who I believe has deleted her LJ, but who wrote her thesis on those books), because now I want to link you to them. But, sadly, I didn't make notes. *vows to do better in the future*

In any case: you're not alone. I didn't manage to find the boarding school books, but other people did. And, inevitably, they ended up in fandom.

[brownbetty]

…are you suggesting that if I dig up the Famous Five books from wherever they are buried, I will find them not as good as I remember?

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey. You'll find them appalling. I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but - well, better you know, right?

*pats you soothingly*

[lite-bright.livejournal.com]

Ooh, it has been a age since I last got online, and now! A rec (and cat, and childhood drama) post appears, like a mirage to a traveller in the desert. YAY. and also, er, thank you for making my day.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

*beams*

Thank you for making mine. And welcome back to the internets! There are many stories to read here. *shows you around to refresh your memory*

reposted for pernicious apostrophe

[brownbetty]

Yes, I am actually the only person I know who hasn't read the Bible. It's — I tried, okay? All I remember is that there was a chapter that was a lot like that one chapter of the Iliad that lists all the ships everyone brought: just an endless series of people begetting other people, is what I recall. It broke me.

Oh honey. Don't read those chapters. Organized religion was formed so that people could band together and pay other people to read those chapters. That's what we have Rabbis for.

Re: reposted for pernicious apostrophe

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

This makes a great deal of sense, actually. I shall leave it to the professionals.

*makes mental note*

(Also, LJ didn't send me a notification of your original comment, the one with the pernicious apostrophe. Apparently LJ's automailer has apostrophe issues, too. *suddenly likes the automailer much, much more*)

[wychwood]

Me: But...okay, I get the concept, and yet. Well. Shouldn't the number of exclamation points be an intensifying rather than a mitigating factor?
BB: What?
Me: Because if you divide by the number of exclamation points, then that reduces the total number of cats. Whereas obviously more exclamation points should increase the total number of cats, and -
BB: Are you arguing the terms of an equation from a YouTube comedy clip?
Me, quietly: I just think it's important to be accurate, and that's obviously inaccurate, because -
BB, loudly: I said, are you arguing the terms of an equation from a YouTube comedy clip?
Me, very quietly: Possibly.
[There is a long silence.]
BB: Oh my god. Do you hear yourself?
[There is another long silence in which I reflect upon my life to date.]
Me: ...Maybe I need a hobby.

I would, you know, laugh at you, if I hadn't spent far too many hours of my life ranting about the "women = evil" equation, based on the fact that As Any Fule No, "time and money" would be "time + money" not "time * money" (what *do* they teach them in those schools?). And, also, any square root has the possibility of two solutions, one positive and one negative, so even if you accept the dubious multiplication, one could still argue that women would be *either* evil or the opposite of evil, namely, good.

*cough*

Sorry. Humorous maths pedants unite!

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

*eyes that equation*

Grr. Thank you for summing up my objections so neatly.

Obviously, we should form a humorous maths pedants club. (In a spirit of international cooperation, I will even let you have the 's' on the end of math.) It's lovely to find someone else has done your work for you.

*unites*

*nominates you for club president*

[raucousraven.livejournal.com]

You and your transitions are both made of awesomesauce. Thank you for pointing me at X -- it was glorious. Might I venture to point out that people with high X-Men tolerances sometimes also enjoy Heroes (http://www.nbc.com/Video/rewind/full_episodes/heroes.shtml)? The series does not, at present, have anyone with admantium claws, but it does have the cutest little fangeek I have ever seen.

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

*bouncy*

I am waiting enthusiastically for Best Beloved to watch Heroes. Which means waiting for Netflix to send us the season one summary (best idea EVER, whoever thought to release those). Because, yes, I suspect that Heroes is very much my deal. Especially Hiro. (And Wolverine was never actually my favorite character; I was a Rogue fangirl. No, really. It was - it was a thing. But I also adored Beast and Nightcrawler to PIECES.)