Keep Hoping Machine Running (
thefourthvine) wrote2007-03-17 08:00 am
Entry tags:
Poll: Hot or Not?
Recently, I was discussing the writing of porn with a party who shall remain nameless (unless she chooses to be named). The key part of the conversation went kind of like this:
Her: I'm writing porn that is very difficult.
Me: *sympathy*
Me: *rambling about ME ME ME*
Me, continuing to ramble: Like, when I was writing my Yuletide 2005 story, my recipient requested "hot het porn." And what I wrote was unbelievably not hot, the antithesis of hot. You were there for the shrieking hysterical breakdown, so I don't need to recapitulate.
[Note: For those many lucky folks not there for the breakdown: there was shrieking. And hysterics. And a post that is, mercifully, locked privately away forever, but can be summarized as, "I will fail my recipient and ruin Yuletide. I LOSE." In conclusion: porn does not come easily to some of us, and if you're just snickering at that, well, okay. I am, too. Join me in my club for the incurably low-minded!]
Me, still rambling: And when I reread that story, it is still the antithesis of hot, at least to me.
Me, rambling ever on: In fact, I don't think I've ever found anything I've written even remotely hot. Huh. Perhaps this is why I am so very bad at writing porn.
Her: ...I find the porn I write hot.
Me: Ooo. I feel a poll coming on.
And then I realized that today I would be in need of distraction. So - here is that poll. And it's only for people who have ever written any kind of porn, of any stripe, except the last question, which can be taken by anyone.
For the purposes of this poll, "porn" doesn't have to be NC-17 or even R; it just has to be erotic in intent. And you don't have to have written a lot of it. Once is enough! And it doesn't have to have been fan fiction, either. And any manner of porn - boy parts, girl parts, a delightful mixture of parts, merman/centaur (no, do not ask where the merman keeps his parts, for that way lies madness), tentacles galore, whatever - is equally valid.
Pimping of this poll would be not only welcome but, given the topic, entirely appropriate. If you know porn writers, why not ask them to come on over? I'd appreciate it. Distract me, people! I'm begging. Nicely.
[Poll #948511]
Her: I'm writing porn that is very difficult.
Me: *sympathy*
Me: *rambling about ME ME ME*
Me, continuing to ramble: Like, when I was writing my Yuletide 2005 story, my recipient requested "hot het porn." And what I wrote was unbelievably not hot, the antithesis of hot. You were there for the shrieking hysterical breakdown, so I don't need to recapitulate.
[Note: For those many lucky folks not there for the breakdown: there was shrieking. And hysterics. And a post that is, mercifully, locked privately away forever, but can be summarized as, "I will fail my recipient and ruin Yuletide. I LOSE." In conclusion: porn does not come easily to some of us, and if you're just snickering at that, well, okay. I am, too. Join me in my club for the incurably low-minded!]
Me, still rambling: And when I reread that story, it is still the antithesis of hot, at least to me.
Me, rambling ever on: In fact, I don't think I've ever found anything I've written even remotely hot. Huh. Perhaps this is why I am so very bad at writing porn.
Her: ...I find the porn I write hot.
Me: Ooo. I feel a poll coming on.
And then I realized that today I would be in need of distraction. So - here is that poll. And it's only for people who have ever written any kind of porn, of any stripe, except the last question, which can be taken by anyone.
For the purposes of this poll, "porn" doesn't have to be NC-17 or even R; it just has to be erotic in intent. And you don't have to have written a lot of it. Once is enough! And it doesn't have to have been fan fiction, either. And any manner of porn - boy parts, girl parts, a delightful mixture of parts, merman/centaur (no, do not ask where the merman keeps his parts, for that way lies madness), tentacles galore, whatever - is equally valid.
Pimping of this poll would be not only welcome but, given the topic, entirely appropriate. If you know porn writers, why not ask them to come on over? I'd appreciate it. Distract me, people! I'm begging. Nicely.
[Poll #948511]

no subject
Of course I often suck at reading porn, in that if it's not very well written and/or very character appropriate and/or plot-relevant and/or I have been waiting 100 pages I damn well BETTER read this consummation - I will just skim it to get back to the story proper. I am the worst slash fan ever.
no subject
*bonds*
*fade to black*
*snickers*
Um, yeah. I'm quite the fan of the fade to black myself. (Also the no-payoff porn, which makes my betas scream at me.)
Of course I often suck at reading porn, in that if it's not very well written and/or very character appropriate and/or plot-relevant and/or I have been waiting 100 pages I damn well BETTER read this consummation - I will just skim it to get back to the story proper. I am the worst slash fan ever.
If you are, then let's share table at the Worst Slash Fans Ever con. I will skim sex scenes unless they're, you know, in character and right. Sometimes I find myself wishing a story that is not only porny but in my pairing was gen, because the plot is amazing, can we get back to the plot?
But I tend to think that my disengagement is - well, if I was sold on the porn, if it served an important character or plot purpose, if it was part of the conflict or tension or whatever, then I know I'd read the porn with joy. So I tend not blame my disengagement on me. Disavowing personal responsibility for the win!
no subject
I like this idea of selling the porn being the author's responsibility! Except when I'm the author. Then it falls on the reader to read it. And like it. Hopefully.
(...part of my conflict with writing porn may also be that my mother reads most of my fic. Well, she is a slash fan. But still. My mother. It's something I have to be careful never to remember when actually writing any.)
no subject