thefourthvine: Two people fucking, rearview: sex is the universal fandom. (Default)
Keep Hoping Machine Running ([personal profile] thefourthvine) wrote2007-03-17 08:00 am
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Poll: Hot or Not?

Recently, I was discussing the writing of porn with a party who shall remain nameless (unless she chooses to be named). The key part of the conversation went kind of like this:

Her: I'm writing porn that is very difficult.
Me: *sympathy*
Me: *rambling about ME ME ME*
Me, continuing to ramble: Like, when I was writing my Yuletide 2005 story, my recipient requested "hot het porn." And what I wrote was unbelievably not hot, the antithesis of hot. You were there for the shrieking hysterical breakdown, so I don't need to recapitulate.
[Note: For those many lucky folks not there for the breakdown: there was shrieking. And hysterics. And a post that is, mercifully, locked privately away forever, but can be summarized as, "I will fail my recipient and ruin Yuletide. I LOSE." In conclusion: porn does not come easily to some of us, and if you're just snickering at that, well, okay. I am, too. Join me in my club for the incurably low-minded!]
Me, still rambling: And when I reread that story, it is still the antithesis of hot, at least to me.
Me, rambling ever on: In fact, I don't think I've ever found anything I've written even remotely hot. Huh. Perhaps this is why I am so very bad at writing porn.
Her: ...I find the porn I write hot.
Me: Ooo. I feel a poll coming on.

And then I realized that today I would be in need of distraction. So - here is that poll. And it's only for people who have ever written any kind of porn, of any stripe, except the last question, which can be taken by anyone.

For the purposes of this poll, "porn" doesn't have to be NC-17 or even R; it just has to be erotic in intent. And you don't have to have written a lot of it. Once is enough! And it doesn't have to have been fan fiction, either. And any manner of porn - boy parts, girl parts, a delightful mixture of parts, merman/centaur (no, do not ask where the merman keeps his parts, for that way lies madness), tentacles galore, whatever - is equally valid.

Pimping of this poll would be not only welcome but, given the topic, entirely appropriate. If you know porn writers, why not ask them to come on over? I'd appreciate it. Distract me, people! I'm begging. Nicely.

[Poll #948511]

[identity profile] calathea.livejournal.com 2007-03-17 04:21 pm (UTC)(link)
I find the idea I am trying to write extremely hot, most of the time, or else I wouldn't be writing it down.

I find the actual effort required to translate SCORCHING into words unutterably painful.

I find the end result invariably differs so wildly from the initial idea as to be unreadably awful.

[identity profile] geeklite.livejournal.com 2007-03-17 05:49 pm (UTC)(link)
*points upward*

This is exactly why none of the stuff I've ever written has ever seen the light of day.

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2007-03-17 08:47 pm (UTC)(link)
You know, I am filled with the urge to go rampaging through people's hard drives in the manner of McKay searching for hoarded coffee, because you all are WITHHOLDING PORN. And that is WRONG.

But I will restrain myself, because I am not, in fact, very nearly Rodney.

*resolute*

(Also, it's impossible. That helps me be resolute.)

[identity profile] geeklite.livejournal.com 2007-03-17 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I am not withholding porn, I am saving my friends list from having to be polite while actually thinking "Geek, please do not ever ever write anything ever again, OK?" I don't want more people to mock my fic behind friendslock than there are already ;)

*distracts you with this icon*

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2007-03-17 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I find the end result invariably differs so wildly from the initial idea as to be unreadably awful.

Okay. But. Are you sure that's not just, um, okay. A lot of times, when I finish a (non-porny) story, I have to be pressed
(by which I actually mean "gun to my head FORCED") into sending it off to beta, or even letting anyone else read it, because it differs so much from what I was trying to do. But I have come to realize that that doesn't always mean the story sucks. And betas, betas I trust, will usually provide an unbiased opinion that helps me determine if the story sucks, or if it's just that I hate it.

So I'm saying, you know, maybe you should consider letting someone else check out what you write, to see if perhaps you are judging yourself too harshly. Because, girl, you can write.

[identity profile] calathea.livejournal.com 2007-03-17 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Pretty much the thing where I decide something is unreadable and like, lock it away where it can't do psychic damage to someone is the HISTORY of my writing from about 1980 to 2004, when I found fandom. I think I'm improving on the scale of how much I want to die at the prospect of someone reading something I've written. In general though about a fifth of what I write appears for public consumption anywhere.

I'm not a huge user of betas, so far. It's not that being beta'd isn't great and story-altering and that they don't do sterling jobs when I get them done. I just am not quite sure I've got the beta vibe RIGHT yet. I'd quite like to do a proper collaboration with someone, see how that pans out, see if that kick starts my beta thing and gives me the confidence to reach out and say to someone, hey, does this suck as much as I think it does?