thefourthvine: Two people fucking, rearview: sex is the universal fandom. (Default)
Keep Hoping Machine Running ([personal profile] thefourthvine) wrote2007-03-17 08:00 am
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Poll: Hot or Not?

Recently, I was discussing the writing of porn with a party who shall remain nameless (unless she chooses to be named). The key part of the conversation went kind of like this:

Her: I'm writing porn that is very difficult.
Me: *sympathy*
Me: *rambling about ME ME ME*
Me, continuing to ramble: Like, when I was writing my Yuletide 2005 story, my recipient requested "hot het porn." And what I wrote was unbelievably not hot, the antithesis of hot. You were there for the shrieking hysterical breakdown, so I don't need to recapitulate.
[Note: For those many lucky folks not there for the breakdown: there was shrieking. And hysterics. And a post that is, mercifully, locked privately away forever, but can be summarized as, "I will fail my recipient and ruin Yuletide. I LOSE." In conclusion: porn does not come easily to some of us, and if you're just snickering at that, well, okay. I am, too. Join me in my club for the incurably low-minded!]
Me, still rambling: And when I reread that story, it is still the antithesis of hot, at least to me.
Me, rambling ever on: In fact, I don't think I've ever found anything I've written even remotely hot. Huh. Perhaps this is why I am so very bad at writing porn.
Her: ...I find the porn I write hot.
Me: Ooo. I feel a poll coming on.

And then I realized that today I would be in need of distraction. So - here is that poll. And it's only for people who have ever written any kind of porn, of any stripe, except the last question, which can be taken by anyone.

For the purposes of this poll, "porn" doesn't have to be NC-17 or even R; it just has to be erotic in intent. And you don't have to have written a lot of it. Once is enough! And it doesn't have to have been fan fiction, either. And any manner of porn - boy parts, girl parts, a delightful mixture of parts, merman/centaur (no, do not ask where the merman keeps his parts, for that way lies madness), tentacles galore, whatever - is equally valid.

Pimping of this poll would be not only welcome but, given the topic, entirely appropriate. If you know porn writers, why not ask them to come on over? I'd appreciate it. Distract me, people! I'm begging. Nicely.

[Poll #948511]

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2007-03-17 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
(First, I just want you to know that I STILL think, "Oh, right, she's a teapot" every time I see your icon. Why can't you be a part-time crumble?)

I think the problem is that writing porn is a balancing act in that one has to be able to reach for the porn-brain to check the temperature, as it were, but write with the non-porn brain.

This make sense to me. I think my own problem is that I don't have much of a porn brain, so I'm writing porn with something not suited to the task, if that makes sense.

...Which, upon re-reading, it totally doesn't.

*sighs*

Writing with my porn brain would probably be a stupid mash of verbs and adjectives connected by ellipses.

Also, the porn brain is probably not interested in things like continuity, or indeed sense. I suspect a porn brain is rather, um, one-track.
brownbetty: (Default)

[personal profile] brownbetty 2007-03-17 04:47 pm (UTC)(link)
The id is not a terribly good writer, but by gum it's a great story-teller!