Poll: Hot or Not?

[thefourthvine]

Recently, I was discussing the writing of porn with a party who shall remain nameless (unless she chooses to be named). The key part of the conversation went kind of like this:

Her: I'm writing porn that is very difficult.
Me: *sympathy*
Me: *rambling about ME ME ME*
Me, continuing to ramble: Like, when I was writing my Yuletide 2005 story, my recipient requested "hot het porn." And what I wrote was unbelievably not hot, the antithesis of hot. You were there for the shrieking hysterical breakdown, so I don't need to recapitulate.
[Note: For those many lucky folks not there for the breakdown: there was shrieking. And hysterics. And a post that is, mercifully, locked privately away forever, but can be summarized as, "I will fail my recipient and ruin Yuletide. I LOSE." In conclusion: porn does not come easily to some of us, and if you're just snickering at that, well, okay. I am, too. Join me in my club for the incurably low-minded!]
Me, still rambling: And when I reread that story, it is still the antithesis of hot, at least to me.
Me, rambling ever on: In fact, I don't think I've ever found anything I've written even remotely hot. Huh. Perhaps this is why I am so very bad at writing porn.
Her: ...I find the porn I write hot.
Me: Ooo. I feel a poll coming on.

And then I realized that today I would be in need of distraction. So - here is that poll. And it's only for people who have ever written any kind of porn, of any stripe, except the last question, which can be taken by anyone.

For the purposes of this poll, "porn" doesn't have to be NC-17 or even R; it just has to be erotic in intent. And you don't have to have written a lot of it. Once is enough! And it doesn't have to have been fan fiction, either. And any manner of porn - boy parts, girl parts, a delightful mixture of parts, merman/centaur (no, do not ask where the merman keeps his parts, for that way lies madness), tentacles galore, whatever - is equally valid.

Pimping of this poll would be not only welcome but, given the topic, entirely appropriate. If you know porn writers, why not ask them to come on over? I'd appreciate it. Distract me, people! I'm begging. Nicely.

[Poll #948511]

Comments

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

A friend (wiser, older, mentor kinda of friend) told me, when I met her early in my fandom life, that we should all be writing our own pornography, i.e. the porn we want(need) to read.

I agree that that's a worthy goal, but it's one I could never meet. I write the kind of stories I want to write, or rather, the ones I have to write. (Either because I am grimly propelled by a Vision or because I have signed up for Yuletide again.) They aren't necessarily the stories I want to read. I get that that is the ideal, but for me - it just doesn't always happen that way. (Although the story I love best is one I re-read on a fairly regular basis, because it is pretty much what I want to read. So it's not like I never do it, just that I can't do it as much as I wish I could.)

In short, I lack story, left to my own devices, and because I lack story I cannae write the porn.

Okay, this is amusing to me, because this is exactly the inverse of my problem. I have written several stories that are finished except for [PORN HERE].

In fact, I did that with one of my Yuletide stories last year, and makesmewannadie, who is my porn angel, wrote the porn for me because I was so very blocked on it. (We've collaborated before, and she is my ideal writing partner, because I can get Ray be-tentacled and to Fraser, or Jay and Kay sex pollened up, and then she will make the porn magically HAPPEN. It is so cool. NC-17 without tears!)

which explains why I have 5 different stories started on my HD featuring John and Rodney, with a clear idea of What Porn This Will Lead To, but without porn actually written because the Story Is Blocked.

Maybe you could just go ahead and write the porn, knowing the story between what you've got and the actual porn parts, and then see if a) you don't actually need to write everything or b) it makes it easier to write the middle bits. I know, for me, sometimes writing the scenes I can actually see, even if they're way out of order, helps me with the blocked parts. (And even if it doesn't work, you'd be bringing more porn into the world, and that is, by definition, a good thing.)

[anatsuno.livejournal.com]

I try to go ahead and write the porn, but what I mean is that really, I weave story-in-porn, and so if I am blocked on Story and Reasons and Lack of Knowledge of where this is going (what these people want, what's happening to them besides the porn, while they fuck or around it), I am kind of blocked on the porn too. But yes, I am trying to go forward when I can, because even if I only bring the porn out, indeed, it's already something.

I know what you mean about the ideal co-writer, yeah. Funnily though, recently I told a friend who is a bit like you that I'd help her out writing some porn for her [PORN HERE} bits - I thought, hey, no need to write setup or reasons or anything, I cna jsut write the porn+character! And then it turned out we have style a little too different for that, and that I could not feel my way into their heads wnough to write proper sexxing. I did my best - well, tried to, considering other factors like overworkedness and such - but it was an eye-opening experience really, about the elements that need to be there for me to write the porn...

Oops I rambled on again. um. *grins?*