thefourthvine | I wanna know what love is; I want you to show me.

Older fandoms, you confuse me so. The story I'm reading right now has piercing gazes, searing gazes, cuddling, comforting, lengthy descriptions of eyes that change color (Green! Hazel! Gold! No, I'm not kidding - really, gold, and this isn't the right fandom for him to have been implanted with a Goa'uld.), marriage proposals, men of action sharing their feelings in astonishing detail and with great (sometimes searing) honesty, a guy telling another guy how beautiful he is, holding hands, kissing, and two adult men (of action!) with extensive disposable incomes living together and sharing a bed.

And it's gen.*

I am patiently waiting for the mutual declarations of eternal love while hugging (or crying; I'd totally take crying) in the rain. Then, and only then, will I be able to stop reading.

So, does anyone have a story from an older fandom to recommend to me? You people have mostly been at this longer than me - surely you've got some nice gen or slash story favorite from a pre-LJ fandom that you could link me to. Gen or slash welcome - especially gen that I can read as gen. Seriously. Save me from myself. And this story. I am just bewildered, here.

-Footnote-

* Another gen story in the same fandom (but by a different person) features a noted canonical horndog turning down NSA sex with a beautiful woman because he's in love with someone else - that someone being, of course, the guy who is his Entirely Not Slashy Totally Hetero Life Partner. (It also had a paragraph about their great and abiding love, and the Totally Hetero Life Partner isn't even in the story. Nor is there any explanation of why the THLP would want his "friend" to turn down the sex - I mean, seriously, it was just presented as "this is what you do when you're in love with your THLP, forswear sex and cleave only unto him, but in a straight and manly way." I guess I am just not straight enough to understand that.) And the author's note contained a diatribe against slash. Oh, my people.

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Man, why does everyone think TS?

*has a moment of remembering all the "gen" TS she's read*

Oh, right, that's why. But, in the defense of those writers, I have to say that much of what I've outlined above could have happened in the canon in TS. Jim and Blair were special that way!

Man From UNCLE. The fandom in which I read a slash story describing Illya's dick as a "rosy-crested ivory tower of lust."

AAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH! Don’t spring something like that on the unsuspecting comments-reader!

*bleaches brain*

Try READING that in a story by a well-known writer and coming upon it unsuspectingly. I was scarred for life.

And we won't even discuss the legendary "Illya as a were-unicorn and Napoleon as a virgin" story.

... can we at least link to it? Please? (I have a ... thing for Inappropriate Virgin crackfic.)

I'll look for it -- but I believe it only exists in a zine. I'll try to find the name of it, at least!

(no subject)

melannen.livejournal.com - 2007-09-20 01:16 (UTC) - Expand

... Were-unicorn? 0.o

I know. O.o

And yet, I boggled more at Napoleon as a virgin than Illya as a were-unicorn.

SECONDED OMG.

Ivory? Does this story have a cryogenics theme?

It may very well have. At that point I believe I lost consciousness, and awoke with no memory of the story except that line.

There was a line in a het "10th KIngdom" story (betcha don't know that fandom) that spoke entirely seriously of the main couple "romping repeatedly in the pastures of pleasure."

Is that the one where a white dude teaches Arabs about engineering?

I'm not entirely sure, so don't quote me on this, but I think 10th Kingdom is the one where the woman and her father teach the fairies about magic. Or something. I've read a few stories in it, but have no familiarity with the canon. I don't even know if it was a TV show or a movie or a book or a comic or...

m-butterfly.livejournal.com - 2007-09-19 22:46 (UTC) - Expand

shayheyred.livejournal.com - 2007-09-20 00:19 (UTC) - Expand

That's Kingdom of Heaven.

I had never heard of that miniseries until last week, when my roommate and I mainlined it in two nights. Was this fic main-girl and wolf-boy, or what?

I'm not really surprised it's got fandom, come to think of it- I came away from it dizzy, reeling and desperately wanting to write several academic papers about gender presentation. And shipping main-girl and wolf-boy, which I never would have expected at the beginning. (Also, the special effects, while at first blinding, eventually became kinda charming. Awww, they were so excited about CGI, weren't they? Although I could have done without the ring. Creepy.)

THRILLED to hear you've seen it! It was my first online fandom, and the first for which I wrote fic that I let anyone else see...though I've been "fannish" for decades for one thing or another. And yes, I ship Wolf and Virginia, and even stalked Scott Cohen (Wolf) around New York City one summer, because he was in several plays. I was active in the fan club, yadda, yadda, etc. It was also my LAST het fandom...I'm an unrepentent slasher these days.

If you want to look at fanfic, you can try Kingdom's Press, a now-dormant archive chock full of fun things, including that story I referenced early, with the appallingly schmoopy line. I also offer my own 10th Kingdom fic, found on my Website, Chez Shay (http://www.chezshay.net/index2.html), under the menu item "Lambchop and Shepherdess." Hope you enjoy! (http://www.angelfire.com/tv2/kingdomspress/index.html) ()

alixtii.livejournal.com - 2007-09-26 21:38 (UTC) - Expand

THANK YOU. I AM NOW SCARRED FOR LIFE.

(Also, seriously, Illya has a two-color cock? Is that like a special upgrade or something? And if it is, can you get colors other than rose/ivory?)

But of course! At the Lands' End of cockage, the dicks du jour also come (...) in seafoam/teal, puce/stucco, salmon/brick, and the ever-popular fog/midnight.

I'd like mine with a convertible top.

We're out of stock on those at the moment. Could we interest you in a monogram? Guaranteed to occupy only the fashionable portion of the foreskin...

And if I might bring up a somewhat delicate matter - what of sizing? Because I note that in the original example, the size is "tower." Does it, um, come in something smaller?

But of course.

Tower

Leaning Tower

Architecturally Improbable Tower

Seven-Wonders-of-the-World-Type Tower

Ron Jeremy

Does that help?

thefourthvine.livejournal.com - 2007-09-20 01:22 (UTC) - Expand

qe2.livejournal.com - 2007-09-20 01:30 (UTC) - Expand

sprat.livejournal.com - 2007-09-20 03:17 (UTC) - Expand

RONON: What's white and twelve inches? Nuthin'.

qe2.livejournal.com - 2007-09-25 20:06 (UTC) - Expand