thefourthvine | Sartorial Assistance Needed OMG Please

Sartorial Assistance Needed OMG Please

I am seeking advice on two clothing problems. One is mine, one is the earthling's.

The Trousers Must Stay On!

The earthling has a very, very narrow waist. (He is not underweight. Just - narrow.) This makes buying trousers for him difficult; he generally grows into the waist around the same time the cuffs hit his mid-calf. With some brands, he doesn't grow into the waist until the cuffs are just below his knee, which would make them good shorts, except he doesn't like shorts. I have seen clothes labeled 9 - 12 months that have waists too big for his 40-month-old body.

And the thing is, the earthling has preferences. He doesn't like clothes with stiff or scratchy fabric or anything he deems poky, and he expresses his objections in no uncertain terms when things do not meet his standards. But for his age group, the only option for the narrow-waisted is adjustable-waist trousers. Which are, in the earthling's judgment, unacceptably poky, and in any case they only come in jeans and cords and stuff - all fabrics that are too stiff. He will not wear them. (And even if he did, on the tightest setting they still slip some.) He wants to wear elastic-waistband trousers made from soft fabric.

This takes us to pajama pants and sweatpants. Both of which, when they fit his length, fall off his narrow, narrow body unless we roll the waistband at least once, often twice. (We own exactly one pair of trousers that fits him in every dimension. One. This pair came to us as part of a pajama set. If I could, I would clone it.) This has worked for most of his life, but now he wants to get dressed all by himself. He does not want help, no thank you, Mama, I do it, I do it. He can get the trousers on, but he can't get them properly rolled, and the result is that he spends a lot of time walking around on his cuffs hauling up his waistband every two steps.

So does anyone have any brilliant ideas? I need either:

Some mechanism by which the waistbands of elastic-waist trousers can be made permanently narrower, without interfering with the earthling's ability to get them on all by himself.
A source for elastic-waist, soft fabric trousers for narrow-bodied toddlers.

Keep in mind that I do not own a sewing machine, and also the only reason I passed the needlecrafts part of Home Ec was that the district office sent over a note saying that, diagnostically, I could not ever be expected to do any better. (And even then, I was extremely wise and kept my projects very low on the ambition scale.) And Best Beloved's mother deliberately did not teach her kids home skills of any kind, on the grounds that she did not ever want them to use them.

So, basically, we are looking for a solution that does not require us to be crafty and handy and - stuff. This has ruled out everything I have come up with so far. Help? The earthling is running out of trousers. And tripping a lot. It is very sad.

The Boobs Must Be Free!

Before I got pregnant, I wore bras that took their design inspiration from the Bastille. My bras were things that you could, in an emergency, use as moderately functional body armor, filled with ribbing and nine million hooks and many wires, with a general aesthetic somewhere between "bondage device" and "cruel and unusual punishment."

Then I got pregnant, and soon I had a stomach in the way of many of those bras. Then I was nursing, and it turns out those sorts of bras block various critical ducts, not to mention that they don't fit the ever-fluctuating boobs of the breastfeeder, so they don't make them in nursing versions. I mean, yes, I have an underwire nursing bra, but it's entirely wimpy. One tiny wire under each boob! That's not a true underwire bra as I know it.

So, the earthling is now officially weaned. And, see, I've spent the last two years assuming that would happen any day now (and look! I was right!), so I've been wary of purchasing new nursing bras. As a result, I now have a total of four of them: one that is so stretched out it is more like a tank top, one that has a giant hole in it (making it ideal for any three-breasted breastfeeder, but less ideal for me), one that is way too loose, and one that actually fits and works.

Obviously, it's time to get out the old bras. They are the same size as my boobs currently are (or, okay, some of them are). But my boobs have lost the knack of wearing them. Used to be I strapped them into their wire cages and they did not protest, but after four years of freedom, they have decided they don't like captivity. They whine all the time - "A wire is poking my sensitive underparts!" (Used to be I could get an open sore on my boob from an exposed underwire with only minimal boob protests.) "This is really tight!" "Why is the cup only big enough for half of me?" (I said only some of them fit, right?) It's pathetic, seriously. Somehow having and nursing a baby turned my boobs into wimps.

Basically, they want to stay in nursing bras. I, on the other hand, would prefer to have cups that don't come randomly unhooked when I move too much, largely because there is nothing more wonderful than fishing around in your shirt for a stray cup, unless it is the charmingly lopsided look your boobs have when one is in a cup and the other one is on top of its cup.

I need recs. For bras. Bras that are not fierce contraptions of steel and strapping, bras that are somehow comfortable. (Underwires are optional, but fine. I mean, I do have underwires in my best-fitting nursing bra. Just - I guess not really aggressive underwires.) And these bras have to come in an H cup. Is there anything like that out there? Do any of you large-breasted persons out there know of a bra like that? Help my boobs! They are yearning to breathe free!

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I'm here to echo the Bravissimo, FigLeaves, BareNecessities, etc. recommendations. This is for shopping. For brand, you're going to have to investigate for yourself, because even when the sizes are the same the proportions are different - I've bought things in my size that fit nicely in the band and the cup but the straps were still way too long even when adjusted all the way as short as possible, because my torso is just that short. (My bras are like the Earthling's pants that way, I guess.) Allow me to point you to a couple of posts I made on the subject, if you think you can stand it. :-) Good luck!

If you go to an old-fashioned, bricks-and-mortar lingerie store, the kind with the insensitive expert fitters with cold hands and poor social skills, and get your new size checked, you'll probably be able to wear any bra you like. (If you can recover from the minor psychological trauma of it. Honey.) I found my breasts changed size after nursing, so some bras that were previously comfortable were pinchy.

I am assuming that the reason no one else has suggested a belt or suspenders for the Earthling is that they think these would be too uncomfortable. If he has not tried either, try them. It might be easier than finding someone who can sew pants for him. Kid A has worn belts. He also agreed to put up with the elastic adjustable waists, though.

Suspenders (and sometimes belts) can be terribly complicated puzzles for a 4-year-old. (I have trouble with them, too.) Depends on the kid.

I don't know where you live, but if there a any shops in your area that advertise themselves as "corset shops" you might want to give them a phone call and talk about what you want. They are not just for corsets (except the medical-type of corset shop, and you can check this on the phone). The shops I am thinking of specialize in bras for women of size, in many brands and styles, and they will fit you and try to find you exactly what will be comfortable. One caveat: this is not the place to find sports bras. This is the land of structure, seaming and very large shaped cups.

Also, I do not remember where it is on the Internet, but someone out there put together a correspondence table that lists all the brands of bras and sorts out which brand's size F is like which other brand's size G, etc. You might be able to search for it.

You're thinking of this chart from Plus Size Bra -- an information site for people who wear E-cups and above.

I am +1-ing both the "hire a tailor [or friend with skillz]" and the "run new elastic through the waistband" options. Pants are easy for anyone who sews; kids' elastic-waist pants used to be the beginner sewing project for 11-year-olds at my middle school!

If you want to alter the waistband yourself, look at a pair of his elastic-waist pants; you should be able to see where the rows of stitching hold the elastic in all around the waist. If there's one row of stitching, it's trivially easy: just go buy some elastic that's narrower than the waistband, pin a large safety pin on one end, cut/pull out a section of the stitching that's wide enough to fit the elastic, and then push the safety-pinned end of the elastic into the band until it's all the way around and come out the other end; then size it to Earthling and tie it off (or sew/glue the ends together, which is a better finish but slightly craftier). The only remaining issue is closing the hole you made to feed the elastic in; if you can hand-sew at all, just hand-sew it closed however you hand-sew; otherwise, yes, glue and iron-ons are options.

If the waistband has several rows of stitching, you can buy really narrow elastic that's about the width of string; buy some, and buy a yarn needle {or a bodkin} and cut a tiny slit in the cloth between two of the rows of stitching; thread the elastic onto the needle and do the same thing as above. (The thin stuff will tie off a lot nicer, too.) If you're worried about it holding, run the elastic through several times. Then either sew up the slit you made, iron a patch over it, or just leave it. (It will fray over time, but Earthling is growing fast enough that probably won't matter much.)

I sometimes wonder how any non-crafty parents ever manage, so many of my clothes as a child were covered in alterations and repairs! And yeah, if even the new-elastic option seems to hard for you, I had a few pairs of pants as a kid with permanent safety-pins in them to make the waist smaller - usually it looks best at center-back.

Also I loved suspenders as a wee one! If you can find a pair and Earthling will put up with them. Also: overalls.

I like Junonia for bra shopping (and bathing suits!) For one, I'm just happy about a store that specializes in active wear for plus-size women, and two, their stuff is really good.

I have heard anecdotally that clothing for small girls tends to be narrower and of wimpier cloth than clothing for small boys. Since wimpier fabric often correlates with softer fabric, this might be an option for the earthling.

(I so agree with him about soft stretchy clothing being the most comfortable. I wish PJ pants were more socially acceptable as office wear.)

would he tolerate (or like) overalls or suspenders? I loved overalls for most of my childhood and adult life, until I had to stop wearing them for health reasons (seriously), possibly because I have not much of a waist myself. I'm not narrow, just... Vertical. Women's trousers aren't really cut for vertical.

I think Etsy is probably going to be your best option if you don't want to go directly to a tailor for pants.
Here's a seller in Santa Rosa who makes custom organic/fair trade pants, for all of your yipster needs.

These claim to be adjustable up to six inches around the waist and in length. And they look less like pjs, which can be nice. I searched for custom boys pants. I didn't reach the great weight of 60lbs until I was in junior high, so...I feel ya, on the clothes search.

Probably this has already been covered in comments somewhere, but my two cents:

1. Taking in elastic on sweatpants isn't hard, and certainly any random seamstress at a dry-cleaner's should be able to do so with a minimum of fuss.

2. Try the Freya Active line of sports bras. They come in both nonwired and underwired, both quite comfy, and the nonwired ones are somehow engineered within an inch of their lives to support the boobtacular without either uniboob or underwires. I don't know what band size you are, but I see them in stock at Figleaves in 40 band; I find they run small in the band (I usually wear a 30 or 32 band, but take a 34 in these), so if you need higher than a 38 you might be out of luck. Still, it's the best nonwired bra I know of for large-breasted women.

But that aside, I think what might have happened is that your boobs are the same size, but a different shape. Going to a Nordstrom's, if you have one, and having them fit you might be a good option here. There are brands that I cannot wear (like Panache) because the underwires are just the wrong shape for my breasts entirely, and cause a lot of pain. But other people adore Panache and can't wear Fantasie or Freya, my go-to brands.

How does earthling feel about suspenders and overalls?

He could have a slightly larger waistband without his pants falling off if there was a little extra support.

At an H size, you definitely need to go specifically to a lingerie shop for fitting, most likely. The good news is, you're asking this in October. In the States, a lot of the bra-selling stores make a point of offering fittings during breast cancer awareness month. (Yes, I know, there are some dreadful implications in that, but um, take the good timing and run with it?)

Good luck! I have enough trouble at a D, myself!

It's time to introduce SUSPENDERS! Suspenders are cool! Firemen wear them and they get all the cute trucks.

I'd say take the one pair of trousers that fit him to a tailor and have many simple pairs made using those as a template. You can pick out fabrics you know he'll like, and kids clothes are relatively simple to make so the cost shouldn't be too high.

Rather than recommending a particular brand of bra (although I've been having a very good experience with Cacique from Lane Bryant recently) I am just going to recommend the entire concept of foam lining. All of the support, none of the wires. I think it's relatively easy to find these days and it's pretty much a lifesaver.

I think you need a bra fitting at a good store. Preferably by a veteran salesperson who knows what she's doing.

I dislike bra shopping because I have enough boob to need support and dislike having to feel that the support is there. At the moment, I swear by Berlei's Barely There -- I have four bras, two are teh Barely There range. Those two get worn probably about 28 days out of the month, with the non-Barely There's only being used for dire emergency.

I will say it's worth trying these bras on. In pictures, they look like the most boring bras around but they make my boobs look *fantastic*, and they have underwire support with a minimum of discomfort. (By minimum, hmmm. I find it more comfortable to wear the bra all day than go all day without a bra. Mind you, I'm a 18C, so there's more than a handful of boob there to hang without the bra but it's still comfy.)

Dapper Snappers!

http://dappersnappers.com/

Congrats on the weaning, btw!

These may have been mentioned already, but -

velcro for the trousers, and www.bravissimo.com for the bra. I'm a 32J, and I get all my underwear from them. They have sports bras and nursing bras all the way to K. They also have clothes with built-in support (for sleeping and also strappy tops) that are pretty awesome.

I wear a 38HH

If your boobs don't need to be perky and such, I really suggest "Decent Exposures." I wear them when I want some support, but also want to be comfy.

http://www.decentexposures.com/

My roommate who is a 42G likes Goddess soft cup bras. No wires and good support
http://www.figleaves.com/us/product.asp?product=Goddess-Alice-Soft-Cup-Bra&product_id=GOD-GD6040&size=&colour=Black

Also while a bra fitting is good, not all stores will give you a good one. For instance, some fitters will try to size you into the bras they have as opposed to the size you really are. Also, the same size in different bra companies can be realy different.

For instance, Fantasie fits my boobs best. Panache thinks my boobs are in a different place on my chest than they actually are. Goddess bras never fit me right

If you live near an Intimacy Store they give decent fittings. Nordstrom usually has good ones too.

Probably entirely unhelpful as I shop at Sadie the Bra Lady with is entirely based in the North East of England. They find bras that fit me...! Bliss, as no bra of the same size is ever the same fit. Even in the same brand. *eyerolls* Sounds like you need a fitting...?

And more on the UK side: Gok does this thing where he puts elastic on a safety pin and treads it thorugh waist bands... He doesn't sew and manages it... Or I use a belt, or if they don't have belt hoops, I use a safety pin. I have no idea at what age children are deemed to be responsible enough to use safety pins though...

For earthling, allow me to recommend http://www.hannaandersson.com/. Lots of stretchy waisted pants, usually with cuffs that can be rolled down. They use european sizing (by height) but a size 4 roughly corresponds to 100cm. You might try a size 90 as well to see if you get a better fit in the waist and just run slightly shorter in the leg.

For mama: I hesitate to recommend since one woman's dream bra is another woman's nightmare. I have personally done well in the wacoal brand, but my general rec is http://herroom.com for online shopping. They have a good selection for full figures, very good images of the bras, very useful and descriptive fitting notes, and often user reviews. And a fairly convenient return policy for the bras that don't work out.

I was just reading comments to see if anyone was recommending hanna andersson, because I was going to if no one did. :) So, seconded!

(And I'll be looking up people's bra recs for myself. Awesome.)

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wendelah1 - 2011-10-08 05:39 (UTC) - Expand

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crysothemis.livejournal.com - 2011-10-10 04:19 (UTC) - Expand

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montglanechess.livejournal.com - 2011-10-16 04:08 (UTC) - Expand

Oh, if you have elastic waistbands that are too large, it's soooo easy to make them smaller. I've done in under 10 minutes using my sewing machine, but the sewing machine isn't really necessary. Basically, just cut a hole in the inner waistband over where the elastic is, pull the elastic out through the hole until it's as tight as you want, and then sew it together and cut off the excess (I suppose if it's narrow enough elastic, you could just knot it), and then sew the hole shut. If it's on the inside of the pants, it's not like it needs to be super-neat. Trust me when I say that you do not need to be crafty to do this...it just needs to hold together. Use thread the same color as the inner waistband if you're worried about neatness.

As for comfy bras, I swear to god that there's nothing comfier than a good sports bra. I would wear them everywhere if I could. Sadly, I'm no help here because my favorite bra is so worn in that I can't read the brand on it anymore.

Edited 2011-10-07 09:27 (UTC)

Yay! Thank you, now I don't have to try and explain how to deal with elastic waist bands.

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daegaer.livejournal.com - 2011-10-07 15:08 (UTC) - Expand

A tailor! Seriously, it doesn't cost terribly much to take pants to a good tailor (especially if you have a model for perfection, like that one clone-able pair of pants) and have them all altered. If you do that, you can choose exactly the kinds of clothes the earthling feels most comfortable in and still ensure that he'll be able to actually wear them.

Tailoring? I know it seems annoying for earthlings who are still growing, but I remember reading an article recently (or maybe an LJ post) about how one of the reasons celebs look good as often as they do is that they'll tend to get stuff that's a little too big for them, then get it taken in so that it perfectly fits their measurements.

IDK if you could talk to local dry cleaners (where I see tailor signs in my neighborhood) or whereever, but if you found some cheap 'halfway there' pants and a reasonable rate and tried a place or two out until you found people who understood what you need (and could point you at the right pieces to buy for tailoring) it could be worth it to drop an extra 5-15 (IDK what the actual price is) to modify the clothing to his exact measurements, and then going forward, learn more about what makes for easy/hard to tailor off the rack clothing, and get him a couple pairs that work for his body for the time being.

I highly recommend a Goddess Bra. I get mine from Ladygrace.com . They last pretty much forever, and come in a variety of sizes....so I still wear them post breast reduction. And they still last forever. The specific one I'm raving about is # 2066. :)

http://ladygrace.com/search.asp?ss=goddess&x=0&y=0

YES! You can get 'em on several plus-sized lingerie sites, actually, but I've had two or three different Goddess styles and they've worked. My personal favorite is the 6090, but I know nothing against the 2066. :D Get a few, try 'em on, pick out your favorite.

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