thefourthvine: Two people fucking, rearview: sex is the universal fandom. (Default)
Keep Hoping Machine Running ([personal profile] thefourthvine) wrote2009-11-03 02:18 pm

[Poll] Tuesday in the Park with the Earthling. And Strangers.

Ever since I realized, back in college, that I was dropping social cues with the kind of consistency most people reserve for breathing, I have maintained two mental lists, and I spend at least a small part of every day going over them: Social Cues Dropped (But at Least, in Retrospect, I Know What I Was Supposed to Do or Say) and Social Clues Dropped (No Clue What Should Have Happened.) I am pleased to say that the second list is generally shorter these days than it used to be. (The other one is much, much longer. But this post is not about my oddities.)

There is also a third mental list that I update less frequently. It is probably best titled simply WTF?, although I think of it as Other People's Mistakes.

Today, I had an interaction that I am tentatively slotting into the third category, but I'd like your opinion on it.

Because of an unexpected appointment cancellation, I took the earthling to the park rather later than is usual. After some time on the swings and the playset, the earthling went into climb-every-mountain mode and began slogging up the highest hill in the park.

At the top of that hill is a stone bench and table. When we got there, there was a man, middle-aged and normal looking, sitting on the bench, and a dog, one of those big silky collies that always look dignified even when they are running into trees, sitting at his feet. (This one did not, while I watched, run into a tree, but I will never forget seeing a collie do that. It changed my view of them forever.) When we got near the bench, the earthing experienced summit sadness and began refusing to go in any direction that was not further up, which was problematic, since we were as high as we could go. Observing me negotiating with the earthling, the normal (looking) man leaned over and said to me, thoughtfully:

"You know, I think my dog is the love of my life."

"Yes, dogs are wonderful," I said, most of my mind on the earthling.

"I've never felt this way about anyone else," he said.

"They're really wonderful," I agreed, starting to feel like I was joining a conversation already in progress.

"She's sure better than any woman," he said, sort of chuckling. Then he paused, and in a low, more personal tone added, "Or any man."

"...Oh?" I said.

"I really do love this dog. I mean love this dog," he continued. "People can't understand that, but it is what it is and I don't regret it." He paused for a second, then added, "I just wish people were open-minded. That's what I always say: keep an open mind."

"That's, um, nice. You have a good day, now," I said, and scooped up the earthling and carried him, protesting vigorously, toward the car.

So, my question to you people is: was that as weird as it felt at the time? And if so, when did it go off the rails?

[Poll #1480467]

[identity profile] azewewish.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Dude, I love dogs like pie, but, um, yeah. That was totally WTF, and not in a fun way.

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I love dogs, too! MORE than pie, even! But...yeah. WTF? I mean, I often don't know how to respond to things people say, but I think, in that case, maybe there just wasn't a good response.

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ext_9136: (Fuck!)

[identity profile] birggitt.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 10:56 pm (UTC)(link)
As much as I love dogs (and I love them A LOT), I'll never categorize any of them as love of my life
And, dude TMI!!!!
Also, where are the pics of the Earthling? I'm missing him madly!

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I love dogs, too - and, if I had not met Best Beloved, I could maybe kind of see describing one of them as the love of my life, although that is likely not the phrasing I would choose, but - really, sir? REALLY?

Pics of the earthling are not due for almost a whole nother month! But perhaps I can post some ahead of time. Just not with, you know, creepos at the park.

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ext_2454: (Default)

[identity profile] ninasis.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 10:56 pm (UTC)(link)
As Abby from The Truth About Cats and Dogs said, "You can love your pets, just don't looooooove your pets".

[identity profile] miscellanny.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
*cackles*

that was what I was thinking! Us, them.

XD

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ext_6368: cherry blossoms on a tree -- with my fandom name "EntreNous" on it (buffyverse: xander duh face)

[identity profile] entrenous88.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh my.

*dog-naps the dog in question*

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Frankly, that would probably be for the best. I would have, except my sole instinct was to get the earthling out of there.

*blinks rapidly, many times*

[identity profile] daegaer.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Woe, I am sad for the doggie who at the very least has a weirdo owner.

(I was torn between it going off the rails at the first thing and at the fourth. But in truth the natives of my fair land (and especially this fair city) are much given to the leaping in to surreal conversations with strangers, so a lack of "hello" would not be that weird here before the real oddness started. However the implied "His wife, a dog" counts as weirdness. Oh yes).

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, see, I was okay up until the fourth thing, although it really did sound like he was having a conversation with someone other than me - just vaguely off in some way I can't describe. But even so, I was fine with it until the last thing. And then I got out of there.

And then worried a bit about the dog.

[identity profile] misspamela.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
...

Yeah, that's all I've got.

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
That was kind of all I had, too, honestly. I mean - seriously, if you were having an inappropriate relationship with your dog, would you TELL people? And if you weren't, wouldn't you avoid saying things that made it sound like you were?

[identity profile] sheldrake.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Now, I chose the second thing he said for where it went off the rails. Because, sure the first thing is run-of-the-mill weird. But the second thing is where it becomes... interesting.

This is why I dislike interacting with people I haven't, er, vetted first.

[identity profile] sheldrake.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
(I also considered the fourth thing, but by then I fear the rails have just become a distant dream.)

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[identity profile] anoel.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know, I mean obviously not the best way to have a conversation but sometimes people feel they can share things with strangers that they can't with others. And I'm all for pet love which inspires you to want to talk about your pet a lot, I do it for other people's animals I see. But the open mind thing combined with the dog > man or woman...came off horribly creepy and I would have run away too. Or been tempted to call the authorities.

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah. It was definitely creepy, although I have spent the past two hours trying to convince myself that it wasn't MEANT that way, and he isn't actually, um, involved with his dog, and he just didn't hear what he said. But. Well. I'm only half succeeding.
catwalksalone: (mystery men dear lord)

[personal profile] catwalksalone 2009-11-03 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Did the trolls break out of the internets again? We really need to do something about security. *gets clipboard, makes list*

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
See, that actually is the good part of this: at least I am reminded that the internet is not the only place where there are weirdos. But, yeah, I vote we do something about security. Can we arm them?

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[identity profile] illariy.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
That was weird at point 2 and totally TMI and completely park-and-talking-to-a-woman-stranger inappropriate at point 4. Strategic retreat was called for. Also, I feel sorry for the dog.

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I'm worried about her, too. Normally I comfort myself, when I see someone not handling a dog perfectly, with the thought that the dog is obviously well-cared-for (when it is, which this dog was), but in this case - that is not as comforting as it would otherwise be.

Yeesh.

[identity profile] innocentsmith.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Aieeeeee!

My own social skills are sometimes...iffy, so in all honesty I probably wouldn't have blinked at the opening. I've probably used weirder conversational gambits, myself. But I would've been joking.

From that point on, it's sheer wtfery, with very strong "his wife? a dog" implications. So yeah: RUN AWAY.

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
I agree with you entirely, and especially with the "his wife? A dog" aspect. Also the running, obviously.

Maybe we will go to a different park for a few days.
astolat: lady of shalott weaving in black and white (Default)

[personal profile] astolat 2009-11-03 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)
I would answer your question except there was a hysterical Kris Allen bestiality story written for the first AI kinkmeme that hilariously traumatized the entire fandom and that is all I can think of and now I am rolling around laughing.

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
NOT HELPING. Now I am picturing that man as a subject of fannish attention and, OMG, I may never read slash again.

(I am now wondering if Adam Lambert was the dog in that story, and I cannot believe you made me write that sentence. This is going to go down in my (imaginary) diary as the most I've thought about bestiality, in, like, ever. And that's not really a goal I had for myself. At all.)

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ext_2180: laurel leaf (wtf // farscape)

[identity profile] loriel-eris.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Poll answers for the record: Totally bizarre and First thing.

However, I really wanted to picked the last option for the first questions. As in really, really wanted to. *g*

And for the second poll, you forgot an option:
Days / weeks / months / years / decades ago. This guys was never on the rails. The conversation had no hope...

Also, I really hope that he did not mean the fourth thing the way that it sounded like he meant. Because that is totally where my mind went...

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I, too, hope that he was simply not considering how his words might sound outside of his head. Hope hope hope hope.

Because if not, poor doggy.

And, yeah, quite possibly this conversation was doomed from the moment the universe was formed. Eeep.
ext_1843: (Wendy goggles)

[identity profile] cereta.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)
0.0

Dude, boundaries.

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I know! I prefer weak boundaries to be restricted to the internet, where I can CLOSE THE TAB if I want to.
ext_7829: (Default)

[identity profile] gwynevere1.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm debating between "Call PETA, now!" and wondering if you just feel into some Life On Mars world.

[identity profile] travels-in-time.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Nobody in Life on Mars had abnormal relationships with their dogs. As far as we know.

Although "Dicky" Fingers did have a thing for sheep, now that I think about it...
ext_2351: (Default)

[identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow.

I.

Yes.

Weird.

You clearly make people really comfortable and ready to share.

:)

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 09:40 am (UTC)(link)
You clearly make people really comfortable and ready to share.

This is, sadly, more true than you know. I think it has to do with my social cues issue, because it was worst in college, where everyone, even complete strangers, felt free to confide in me on any topic (drugs! sex! fears of possession! and so on!); at any social gathering, you could find me in a quiet corner (since I always do find quiet corners at social gatherings), saying things like, "Um, really? I'm so sorry," desperately wishing to be alone. (I realized things had got totally out of hand the night I was at a party and a complete stranger came up to me and said, "Are you [TFV]? My boyfriend said I should come talk to you," and then spent the next hour detailing her problems without ever even telling me her name.

Things are better now, and that happens rarely these days. Although strangers still identify me as the person most likely to be able to advise them on their purchases in bookstores. (As opposed to, for example, actual employees.)

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[identity profile] melagan.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)
At first I thought, oh one of those people that treat there dog like their child. A offspring comparison, even if a bit strange.

But no, I think not my friend. That was just as weird in exactly how you think it was.

Excuse me while I try to uncross my eyes.

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 09:41 am (UTC)(link)
I am still telling myself that he was just a person who really loves his dog, in a platonic and totally appropriate way, and for some reason he just expressed himself badly. Otherwise, yeah, I get a pain in my skull.

[identity profile] bleedtoblue.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
That was oh so weird and no, you did not over react.

[identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 06:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Good to hear. My general reaction to anything that feels off when I'm with the earthling is to get him the hell out of there - which is funny, because before him I never listened to that inner sense of wrongness, but when I'm with him I am very finely attuned to it - and in this case, that was apparently the correct course of action.
ext_3244: (Default)

[identity profile] ignazwisdom.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG, call the SPCA. Because: OMG.

[identity profile] laurashapiro.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
I have to admit, that's the first place I went, too.
stasia: (Default)

[personal profile] stasia 2009-11-03 11:18 pm (UTC)(link)
*boggle*

Well, isn't that ... interesting. I'd have been right behind you, giggling insanely at how completely nutso that was.

I ... hope the dog's okay.

Stasia

[identity profile] mir8lle.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
WTF?

I had a moment like that recently, during a conversation with a bus driver I was questioning as to his destination. He didn't know where he was going and it was just completely bizarre and confusing. I felt like we were having two different conversations past one another.

[identity profile] copernica3.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
YIKES. Um. He was maybe trying to freak you out on purpose? For the sake of my peace of mind regarding the dog, this is what I choose to believe.
*fingers in ears* LalalalalaLAla.

[identity profile] 30toseoul.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Totally bizarre. I live in a city where it's perfectly acceptable to start talking about your personal life with complete strangers, but I'm pretty sure that most New Orleanians still would've moved rapidly away from that dude and his particular type of dog-love oversharing.
cofax7: climbing on an abbey wall  (Default)

[personal profile] cofax7 2009-11-03 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
::twitches uncomfortably::

I do worry about the dog. She might be better off running into trees.
florahart: (twins-gah!)

[personal profile] florahart 2009-11-03 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
1. TMI, dude, even if you didn't mean what we all think you meant.

2. I once had a stranger at the supermarket offer to lick the chocolate frosting off my toddler's face (OMG WUT), and I think this may be even MORE WTF than that(fortunately, while I was too busy boggling to even have any idea how to respond to said stranger, my 5-year-old said he thought that would be a bad idea because it would be unsanitary to lick a stranger. Then we left the vicinity kind of really fast).

[identity profile] flemmings.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
You confirm my impression that people are more inclined to confide/ violate boundaries if you have a small person around. Weirds me too, because none of the small people I hang around with are mine, and I'm closer to Grandma age anyway; but suddenly I'm someone's Mother Confessor to whom they can tell all.

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