thefourthvine: Two people fucking, rearview: sex is the universal fandom. (Default)
Keep Hoping Machine Running ([personal profile] thefourthvine) wrote2009-11-03 02:18 pm

[Poll] Tuesday in the Park with the Earthling. And Strangers.

Ever since I realized, back in college, that I was dropping social cues with the kind of consistency most people reserve for breathing, I have maintained two mental lists, and I spend at least a small part of every day going over them: Social Cues Dropped (But at Least, in Retrospect, I Know What I Was Supposed to Do or Say) and Social Clues Dropped (No Clue What Should Have Happened.) I am pleased to say that the second list is generally shorter these days than it used to be. (The other one is much, much longer. But this post is not about my oddities.)

There is also a third mental list that I update less frequently. It is probably best titled simply WTF?, although I think of it as Other People's Mistakes.

Today, I had an interaction that I am tentatively slotting into the third category, but I'd like your opinion on it.

Because of an unexpected appointment cancellation, I took the earthling to the park rather later than is usual. After some time on the swings and the playset, the earthling went into climb-every-mountain mode and began slogging up the highest hill in the park.

At the top of that hill is a stone bench and table. When we got there, there was a man, middle-aged and normal looking, sitting on the bench, and a dog, one of those big silky collies that always look dignified even when they are running into trees, sitting at his feet. (This one did not, while I watched, run into a tree, but I will never forget seeing a collie do that. It changed my view of them forever.) When we got near the bench, the earthing experienced summit sadness and began refusing to go in any direction that was not further up, which was problematic, since we were as high as we could go. Observing me negotiating with the earthling, the normal (looking) man leaned over and said to me, thoughtfully:

"You know, I think my dog is the love of my life."

"Yes, dogs are wonderful," I said, most of my mind on the earthling.

"I've never felt this way about anyone else," he said.

"They're really wonderful," I agreed, starting to feel like I was joining a conversation already in progress.

"She's sure better than any woman," he said, sort of chuckling. Then he paused, and in a low, more personal tone added, "Or any man."

"...Oh?" I said.

"I really do love this dog. I mean love this dog," he continued. "People can't understand that, but it is what it is and I don't regret it." He paused for a second, then added, "I just wish people were open-minded. That's what I always say: keep an open mind."

"That's, um, nice. You have a good day, now," I said, and scooped up the earthling and carried him, protesting vigorously, toward the car.

So, my question to you people is: was that as weird as it felt at the time? And if so, when did it go off the rails?

[Poll #1480467]

[identity profile] lydiabell.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
The first statement might, theoretically, be just an awkward way of saying he loves his dog more than he has loved any people, and he wouldn't be the first to express that sentiment, so whatevs. But when he follows it up with "I've never felt this way about anyone else" -- the *second sentence in a row* where he's saying things about a dog that people normally only say about their romantic relationships with people -- that's when I start to go o.O.

[identity profile] misanthrope7842.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm ... kind of concerned for the welfare of that dog.
terrio: (Default)

[personal profile] terrio 2009-11-03 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
I voted "Totally weird" and "First thing", but maybe he did it deliberately to try to make you depart in haste? I hope? Because otherwise, ew.

[identity profile] shrieking-ell.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Personally, I think that if you have the Earthing with you - any stranger that does not comment on him during the conversation opener is bordering on the weird unless there is a specific reason for the interaction that does not involve doggy TMI and the possibility that someone should call animal control. (i.e. someone is lost and needs directions or the weather has changed suddenly and forcefully, or a phone booth fell out of the sky at your feet)

[identity profile] nightcamedown.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I voted for "I have weirder conversations every day" but I do have a three year old, so today I had conversations about poop being awesome, why boobies stay inside the shirt when we're at Starbucks, and a very serious heart-to-heart about whether a pumpkin has fur or not. The conversation you had was definitely weird by normal adult standards :-)

[identity profile] lydiabell.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:18 am (UTC)(link)
See, those do not strike me as remotely weird conversations. But then I have a two-year-old. :D

[identity profile] tazical.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
That dog needs an adult. Uh...a different adult.

[identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com 2009-11-03 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Bwuh...?

*runs*

ext_1740: (Default)

[identity profile] stillane.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
You know, I've often jokingly informed Wyatt the Golden Doofus that he is the best guy in my life, but... joking. Also, not talking to other people, or generally even in their presence.

I sympathize on the flypaper for weirdos front. I seem to scream, "Please, talk to me about your bizarre/disturbing/flat out crazycakes self, or feel free to ask me odd questions." The most recent was the older gentleman who works at the grocery store who began a conversation with, "Do you think Hugh Jackman is sexy? *intent look*"

Your potential bestiality fancier takes the cake, though. O_o

[identity profile] grandiose666.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
omfg. i'm laughing and cringing at the same time. poor you!

to me, the 'you know' as opposed to hello wasn't that big a deal, but pretty much everything after that was eeuurrrghh-y. actually, if the first sentence stayed the same but the second was, do you have any pets/like dogs/something like that, it woulda been kinda okay. but in light of the whole thing even the first statement was so off.


and, not that it's the least bit relevant, this reminded me of a remus soinlove! with padfoot... except that it's real life and being that close to an actual dog who cannot transform into a person is disturbing.
ext_840: john and rodney, paperwork (Default)

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/tesserae_/ 2009-11-04 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, jeez, Tales of Over-Sharing. I've got really good social radar, and yet I am fairly frequently blindsided by inappropriate confessions of various sorts. Sometimes I think it's rampant cluelessness on their part, but sometimes I suspect that it's some kind of weird manipulative behaviour, in that it tends to happen in places where I either can't get away (like a party) or in some isolated and somewhat threatening spot.... "Really? Would you look at the time!" or "I'm going to go refresh my drink now" are good all-purpose responses.

[identity profile] auburnnothenna.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
When in grocery store parking lots, I usually mumble something about needing to get the ice cream home before it melts. If only that worked with people I actually know.

(no subject)

[identity profile] reshelved.livejournal.com - 2009-11-04 01:34 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] impactbomb.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
i

buh

wuh

huh?

OH GOD EW. I fear for the dog.

[identity profile] thisisbone.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
I can't even take the poll. I'm stuck at "Ewwwwwwwwwww!"

I love my cat, but I don't loooooooove my cat.

[identity profile] auburnnothenna.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:14 am (UTC)(link)
TMI, TMI! I'm all for people being tolerant, and I may love my dog more than most people, but not like that. So, yes, pegging the weird meter at the third statement. Also, dude, no need to mention your gender comparison shopping once you've crossed species lines. It's just superfluous.

[identity profile] cranberryink.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
Never repeat that conversation to someone who is against gay marriage. That kind of thing is fodder for their arguments!
ext_230: a tiny green frog on a very red leaf (LOLGENIUS)

[identity profile] anatsuno.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
I had that same thought! I kept wondering as I read if this guys was going to segue into a pro-gay marriage argument, based on the silly slippery slope idea that he'd just LOVE to marry his poor dog! THANKFULLY IT DID NOT GO THERE.
risha: Illustration for "Naptime" by Martha Wilson (Default)

[personal profile] risha 2009-11-04 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
I was actually OK with the beginning - as a dog owner who frequents the dog park on a regular basis, I know that many dog people feel free to strike up conversations with everyone who looks even remotely sympathetic about how much they love their pets. But yeah, I'd be edging Earthling away after #3 and "OMG, that poor dog / run" by #4.

[identity profile] marialima.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, honey, that convo left weird and is floating somewhere in the middle of WTF zone by the 2nd sentence!

As someone who read "The Happy Hooker" at a very impressionable young age, the dog thing? Could have really meant what it sounded like...and No thanks! I prefer my relationships like that to be with humans.
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[identity profile] emyrys.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:39 am (UTC)(link)
I am true dog person -- I would have opened up the conversation with him by stating what a lovely dog. BUT what he said, how he said it? Scary weird.

Your reaction? (ie, scooping up the earthling & getting away as quickly as possible) the best thing you could have done!

Your poll choice:
Totally bizarre. Really, people should restrict those sorts of confessions to the internet.

YES YES YES!!!!

[identity profile] grandiose666.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
i think people should restrict those sorts of confessions to confession.

even if they're not Catholic/xtian. still. go there. keep of my internet!

[identity profile] toft-froggy.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
Having grown up in a family where low social cue-getting was the norm, I tend to be more not-noticing of weirdness in conversation than some, so I'd say it's okay to start a conversation at the park with "this dog is the love of my life", but it sounds like it started to spiral out of control pretty rapidly, there. Wow.

[identity profile] cimness.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Okay, I find it really hard to believe that he wasn't deliberately trolling to fuck with you.

But still...

His "wife"? A horse (http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/His_%22wife%22%3F_A_horse.), the wank!

[identity profile] seekergeek.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
*blinks in horrified recognition*...I think I've heard about this guy at the HR department I used to work in several years ago. Or *meeps in horror* some other guy who's just like him. *utterly creeped that there might be TWO of them out there*

[identity profile] very-improbable.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
Although that was a very, very weird conversation, I would like to raise the possibility of an additional interpretation, that of this man's having said those things in order to provoke, confuse or annoy you or because he lost a bet or some other circumstance in which he was not telling you the truth.

[identity profile] missmollyetc.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
Okay, that was just on the creepy-side of Fucked Up, so you did exactly what you should have done. Treat crazy politely, don't make much eye contact, and then hightail it at the next opportunity.

[identity profile] mardia.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
*blinks*

I am really really trying to believe that you know, he didn't actually mean that to sound the way it did, but...that third thing just put it over the top, even though I picked the first thing in the poll.

[identity profile] reshelved.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
If he had stopped after having completed the third thing, I wouldn't have been too weirded out in a bad way, but the fourth thing rippled back and yanked it off the tracks earlier. It cancelled out some of the comforting 'recluse or...?' ambiguity.

Although really, I have never been a fan of stranger-conversations that include anything like 'sure better than any woman.' Reminds me of the guy who was chatting along with me about how nice San Francisco is compared to here because of the diversity... but there sure are a lot of homosexuals. No creepy prejudice in front of strangers, is my rule of thumb for the basic minimum.

[identity profile] malnpudl.livejournal.com 2009-11-04 01:22 am (UTC)(link)
It opened weird. It quickly got freaky. It ended alarming. Anything past the second sentence, I'd have had all my inner warning bells clanging.

DO. NOT. WANT. To have that conversation. Or any other other, actually, with that guy.

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