Poll: Love Me Tender. Or Not. Whichever.

[thefourthvine]

I think it's time to engage in the tradition of a pre-holiday poll. (And when I say "tradition," I mean "I did it last year. Once.") This poll was going to be all thoughtful and intelligent - okay, no, I'm not fooling anymore. But it really was going to be all about you.

And then, see. Okay. helenish posted this (CAUTION: spoilers for the most recent SGA and House), describing John Sheppard as a lover. And I giggled. A lot. But I realized - I disagree with her.

Which made me start thinking about china_shop's dS Cliff, Shag, Marry poll, in which she posed a mean, mean question (Kowalski, Vecchio, Fraser: Cliff, Shag, Marry?). People's responses to that were just fascinating.

So I started to wonder: how are our characters in bed? Now, note: this is not in bed with another character. This is if you were having sex with them. (Yes, assume they're attracted to you. Yes, assume you're attracted to them, or if you can't imagine that without feeling all geechy inside, skip that question.) So I put in a scale for each of them:

1 = OMG WORST EVER. Get away from me.
5 = This is perhaps the most average sexual experience of my life. Ooo, tiled ceiling!
10 = I have just bodily ascended into heaven on the joyous wings of PURE SEXUAL ECSTASY.

But can numbers alone communicate how good a fuck someone is? I mean, suppose, for example, someone is really good at oral sex, then suspiciously bad at everything else? Or a one-minute wonder, but the cuddling is great? So I also included optional text boxes for you to unpack your adjectives and really tell me what sex with this character would be like.

Yes, this is totally a poll without any redeeming value or interest or content. I refuse to feel bad. It is the day before a holiday, and that makes it okay.

(Oh, and if you're curious about why these fandoms - I used the ones that had 200+ current fans in this poll. See, it's all very scientific (and poll-fixated) in here. I have methodology to my madness!)

Note: do not forget to hit submit after each fandom. LJ will only allow 15 questions per poll!


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Comments

[maygra.livejournal.com]

First: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Second: I have to disqualify myself on the grounds of your qualifying because quite honestly, my imagination is not good enough to a) consider myself a viable Object of attraction for any of the SPN menfolk because...uhm, they are all very young. Yes, even PAPA WINCHESTER makes me feel unreasonably old.

also, ew, squicky geechy. Apparently my imagination has some serious limits regarding this.

so, I can only think of them in terms of character or how I write them. Which quite honestly (again) tends to be a function of my psyche rather than any empirical or canonically founded assumptions, i.e. all my pairings tend to fall into certain patterns in regards to their sexual appeal and performance -- you know, tender but enthusiastic, and/or pushy and adventurous or some mix of those.

ergo, Sam would be tender but adventurous and Dean would be pushy and enthusiastic (or in comparison Brian was pushy but tender and Dom was somewhat pushy and enthusiastic and occasionally demanding.)

uhm, and the sex is always fantastic except, you know, when it isn't *g*